80's horror film reviews: Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan

Oh Boy. Well to be truthful, this wasn't as bad as I expected. Sure, the concept was all wrong. Half of the movie takes place on a boat for christsakes. It really dosen't live up the hype of Jason invading Manhattan until the middle and end of the movie.
So the real juice of the story begins with our final girl, Rennie who is going on a boat trip with her fellow classmates and her asshole uncle, only that Rennie has a secret phobia she's hiding. It's soon revealed she has a phobia of water and sees visions of you-know-who. So to get the story going, our last main survivors is Rennie, Rennie's love interest Sean, tough guy julian, kind-hearted teacher Ms. Van Deusen, and Rennie's asshole uncle, arriving in New York on a rowboat. So we soon find out that Rennie's uncle was the cause of her phobia when it is shown that he thrown her in the water when she was child, having nightmares about Jason ever since. But don't worry Jason taught him lesson. So Rennie and Sean are the only survivors in New York trying to outrun Jason in the city streets....I'll stop right there. The ending is too weird for me to write about.
The characters along with the acting was only ok. I thought Jessen Dagget was good because in my opinion, Rennie was such a complex character, having a connection to Jason. Which gives us a reason to make her our final girl. The male lead, Scott Reeves was good too. Here is yet another heroic boyfriend that takes things seriously like they should in these movies, especially if there's a killer on boat.
Speaking of boat, why the fuck is this movie set up on a boat? Who's stupid idea was this? I mean, the title says Jason takes MANHATTAN, not Friday The 13th: Boat Fright(stupid title I know). Why couldn't they just take a plane and then Jason's boat might appear on the New York peir or something. I mean that's just my suggestion. It wasn't necessary for the movie to spend half an hour on boat, knowing what's the title about. How stupid these execs can be.
Overall, it was at least watchable. But let me tell you something, if you think this is bad just wait until you watch Jason goes to hell. Now I would call that an abomination. So don't be sour about this one. At least it takes things in another direction.
My last word is: Just go with it. It won't hurt to watch it.

80's horror movie reviews: Cutting Class

Do you see that gorgeous poster of Brad Pitt? And do you know he was in forgettable slasher movie called Cutting Class? Well here it is and I will give my review of this film in my humble opinion.
So the story is about Brain Woods, a troubled teen who just got released from mental hospital. When he first arrives at school, he meets and istantly has a crush on beautiful, popular Paula Carson but he dosen't realize that she already has a boyfriend in Dwight Ingalls. So here is the start of a love triangle, which also starts along with the killings. Dwight and Brain are the two main suspects in this and Paula is forced to believe which guy she'll trust. So there you have it, nothing really much on the plot actually. The three main characters aren't really that interesting. This movie does have a lot going for them, but ultimately wavers. As for the rest of the characters they are not at all likeable or important even. The dialouge at times can be a little mushy and have some scenes that are irrevelent to the film. As for the acting, Brad Pitt was ok as the heroic but superficial jock. This was he's first movie after all, so you at least got to give some props along with his smoldering good looks. Jill Schoelen was elioquent as always being the underrated actress that she is. She might be in the ranks with Jamie Lee Curtis as the top ten scream queens. Donovan Leitch was a little shaky. He was ok playing the sweet, sensitive type but when it came to playing a psycho killer, it just fell down from there. I wasn't convinced. But at least you can look at those steely blue eyes of his, that would plus. The story is like any teen drama set-up only spiced a little slasher on the side, which makes it ok to have a little character development along with the story to speed up the story. But that still dosen't make a good slasher movie. It's a very muddled when it comes down to it. Sometimes this tries to be a horror-comedy which is kind of ridiculous. The comedy is really not needed at times.
First I watched this on the internet, then I watched it a couple of times on the movie channels but that dosen't mean that this is my favorite movie. Because seriously there was nothing else to watch.
So my last word is: you can watch it if you want to, just don't expect anything redeemable.

80's horror film reviews: Friday the 13th: The New Blood

This is, hands down, the best friday the 13th movie ever! You may think it's a little cheesy but you can look past that. I'm mean hey it was the 80's. And this was a slasher movie of the 80's.
So the story begins with Tina, a sullen teenager who goes to a camp retreat(you know what) with her mother while still having conflicting memories about her deceased father. On that faithful night when Tina was a little girl, she witnessed her parents fighting resulting her father of hitting her mother. Upset by the outburst, Tina runs out to the boat while her father pleads for forgiveness. Then something strange happens. As young Tina gets angrier, the poles underneath the pier her father is standing at, begins to move. When the poles finally break, Tina's father drown deep into the water. Now all grown up with that guilt still clinging to her, it's not too early to reveal that Tina have telekinetic powers. Tina and her mother on their way to meet the slimy Dr. Cruise, who only wants Tina to showcase her telekinetic powers for his own benefit. Meanwhile, a couple of dumb teens are there: You have the hunky, sensitive Nick, who turns out to be our hero, Melissa, the rich bitch, The cute nerd Eddie, there's also the smart but funny Maddie, and what ever teen slasher stereotypical characters that you see. So one night while sitting on the pier of that fatal memory, Tina uses her powers to resurrected her father. But something dosen't seem right. Tina brings back something else....something else bad......You know who it is folks. And off Jason goes to kill a whole batch of teens, including that asshole Dr. Cruise.
What makes it so great is the story with a great pace to go with it. The action of it all just keeps the movie going. The character of Tina is quite captivating, I mean having a final girl with telekinesis with emotinal baggage on the side is pretty daring. The actress Lars Park Lincoln did a strong performance. She captures the vunerability and intensity of the Tina character. Kevin Blair was also pretty great in his role. He's really good at playing the knight in shining armor and possibly one of the only sympatheic male leads in these movies. Not to mention how very enticing he is. There is nothing sexier than man going head to head with Jason Vorhees.
The scenes with Jason and my favorite final girl is classic. Tina even more badass than the final in the fourth movie because of course she has kick-ass pyschic powers that could take down a whole building. The final battle was indeed well done.
My last word is: A slasher classic with a good story and competent leading stars.

Hunk Of The Day: 80's edition

I am posting yet another 80's hunk for the day. And I will so kindly present to you.......

Jason Beghe from Monkey Shines. As you can see is looking dead sexy in that sweater. But just wait until you see him with his clothes off that'll be a real treat.....

Here is another sexy collage of this tempting hunk.....

A-mazing......wait there's more......

Talk about Bear! There is nothing more manly than a guy with a hairy chest with a great bod to go with that. this is truly my hunk of the 80's(Billy, don't worry you're still my number one). So take cover everybody before you swoon.

80's horror film reviews: Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

Yet another entry in the Nightmare Series. At first I was a little in between with this one. It definitely has a different tone than the first three films. It's more.....how can I say this.....cartoony? Not that I'm saying it's bad but some of the scenes puts the capital C into cheese. This definally has a more lighter not if comic book feel into the movie series and it got only worse with the rest(Dream child and Freddy's dead). But what I like about this is it's actually fun to watch. It's not scary but fun to watch though.
The story starts off with the three remaining survivors of the thrid film, Kristen, Joey and Kincad. When Kristen(played by the underused Tuesday Knight) is having the feeling that freddy is coming back to raise hell once again. When he finally succeds in killing the dream warriors including Kristen, Freddy sets his sights on Alice(Lisa Wilcox) who inherits Kristen's power after she's killed. Freddy not only has his eyes on Alice but her friends as well and it's up to her to stop him.
This mostly tells the story of Alice's inner strength and much more lengthy character development from shy, quiet girl to kick-ass action girl at the film's end. The acting of Lisa Wilcox is a little shaky at first but overall gives her character more competence. The acting of Tuesday Knight, however, is only ok. She seems to get strong in her role but ultimately falls flat a little at the end. For the rest, some were good, some were ok and some were underused. That is all.
The special effects are quite colorful, especially for a horror film. I felt like I was watching some afternoon kid's show but it doesn't really ruin the film as much, there quite good actually. Just to mention though, the kills are strangely bloodless for some reason. To the point where this were more appealing to kids around age 9 to 12 if they wanted to watch this.
Of course, this was the start of Freddy becoming something of a comedian of sorts. Which in my opinion, is not so good. Freddy is supposed to be dark and scary not happy and funny. Whatever writer or creator came up with this idea was pretty stupid if you asked me. The script was actually a lot more darker, even having a scary scene written there. But the executives made a one last decison and had a not-so scary horror film.
So my last word is: Fun to watch but lacks the spark that was the original

80's horror film reviews: Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

This is actually the most enjoyable movie of the series. The main fact is dosen't take itself seriously because...let's face it, it's a slasher film. So they bring up a notch and add more action, more body count and a little spice of horror references on the side. And you know I'm a huge friday the 13th fan.
So the story begins with Tommy(the yummy Thom Matthews) trying to put his demons to rest once and for all by going over to Jason's grave to burn him into dust. So along with the help of his friend, he tries to get the deed done, not until lighting strikes down on his bad luck(literally) and into Jason's corpse, reviving him, resulting him to rip Tommy's accomplice's heart when he wakes up.(gosh, Jason, what a way to say good morning). Tommy in a state of panic tries to warn the sheriff and his daughter that jason is out for blood just as he heads to a camp that was once called crystal lake.
The acting is actually good. Thom Matthews really gives a redeeming performance as Tommy, not to mention he's very easy on the eyes, Cute to boot. As for the final girl, she's something of a dim-wit. But of course that's supposed to be the film's gag since most of the final girls in these movies are smart and resourceful. Megan, not so much. Up until the end that is. As for the rest of the actors and characters, they're ok. There's not much to tell about them actually.
I'm so glad this movie dosen't use any nakedness as you might expect. Cause if all the friday movies used any of that, it would be down the road to exploitation. Just my opinon. But for one thing, they're not so easy on the kills let me tell you that. It is much more gorier and graphic than some of the earlier films in the series. Even though it's just another violent, bloody friday the 13th film, it's actually have a much lighter tone to it with a few touches of dark comedy in the mix. But what's smart about it is that they don't make it all over-the-top comedy just more subtle. The action in this is more jet-packed and pretty much more fun to watch with a more delicate pace. Definally a fun slasher treat.
So my last word is: A fun entertaining ride.

80's horror film reviews: Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

Boy howdy. This movie was a hoot. It will be forever known as the gayest horror movie ever. This obviously sends out the message of gay panic in teens of the 80's, having a freddy as some kind of metaphor. The people who made this film had no idea how this was gonna turn out. Yeah, right.
The story is about Jesse, a boy who just moved into Nancy's house from the previous film. He keeps on having this weird that involves you-know-who and notices strange things about the house, all while he tries to deal with his apparent homosexuality that freddy manipulates with, even including killing the object of his affections(his coach and his best friend/potential lover). You know I'm joking on the homosexuality part. Just trying to make the story interesting. Oh and did I mention he has a big-nosed, annoying girlfriend that turns out to be our final girl. ugh.
The acting is pretty decent and the character of Jesse does seem sympatheic. I mean if you are a gay teen trying to come to terms with your sexuality while dealing a whiny girlfriend and having a secret crush on your male friend, you can't help but symapathize right?
If this wasn't a horror movie with no girls in what so ever, this would likely turn out to be an 80's gay porno. I'm mean you have an S&M bar, hot sweaty twink and stud types, sexually-agressive gym coach, etc. I could go on all day. The irony of this is that the lead actor is actually gay. This movie is definally a classic in my eyes.
So my last word is: A very interesting entry if you look at it in a different way.