About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Friday, December 16, 2022

Halloween Ends (2022)



 

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Yes, it has come to this. The final film in the Haloween franchise. I know it's been a while, so I thought I could squeeze this around the Halloween season.
Since this is the last Halloween film, I've decided to actually go to the theaters and PAY eight dollars to see this. Was it worth it? no, no it wasn't. I really wasn't expecting much to begin with...well, kind of. 
Just so you know, Halloween Kills is a really stupid movie and it's up there as one of the worst Halloween sequels but I can see why certain people like it. It's a dumb popcorn slasher movie and you're along for the ride. But Halloween Ends is mostly story-driven, which I appreciate, but the writing is not good at all. I was left bored, unsatisfied, and indifferent. Like I said in my Halloween Kills review, this franchise is a mess, and Halloween Ends is a reminder of that. This movie could've had a lot of potential but most of it felt rushed and incoherent. 
Okay, let's start with the story firsthand. Though, I must warn you, the story itself is a major spoiler that features a new main character. 


The story follows Corey Cunningham, a well-to-do young man who works odd jobs while studying to be an engineer. This time he takes a job babysitting for a wealthy couple. His charge is this mischievous little brat of a kid who likes to cause trouble. As a way to get revenge, the brat locks Corey in an attic. In a rage of fury, Corey kicks down the door and...SLAM! The kid falls off the stairway. I have to say, this was a ballsy way to start this movie. I thought Michael would pop out and terrorize Corey any minute, but this caught me by surprise. 


 So that's when the parents come in and see their son's bloody body on the floor. When Corey steps out of the attic, he has a knife in his hand...
Flash forward to four years later...



Corey has served his time and now he's completely ostracized from the whole town...well, except for Laurie's granddaughter Allyson who sees a kindred spirit in him. This is, by far, one of the worst aspects of the film. The romance between Corey and Allyson was like something out of a shitty teen Netflix movie and they're not even teenagers. Moving on...



When Corey has a night out with Allyson at the bar, the boy's dead mother suddenly appears out of nowhere and goes after Corey in a seething rage. The pressure is too much for Corey,  so runs out into the empty streets and gets into ANOTHER scuffle with a group of teen bullies.... who are also in a marching band. Um, is that supposed to be clever? 




Then before you know it, Corey gets thrown off the railing, knocking him out unconsciously. When he comes to, Corey discovers a hidden tunnel where he has an encounter with the one and only Michael Myers. But oh no, Michael doesn't kill Corey, he TRANSFERS his energy into him. O...kay? Let me explain this further...Michael puts Corey in a chokehold and then all of sudden, Corey looks into his eyes and he just... lets him go. May I remind you, this is the same guy who took down 10 firefighters in one night. I guess Michael Myers has really grown old and tired over the past four years. I'll get to him later. 
So when Corey escapes from Michael's grip, he gets into ANOTHER scuffle with a homeless man and accidentally kills him.






 When Corey gets home, he suddenly becomes infected with Michael's evil juju. Not soon after, Corey teams up with Michael for a night of bloodletting. 
You wanna know why Corey takes most of this review? He's basically the main character of the movie. Not to mention, Corey gets more kills than Michael. So yes, Corey has officially taken the spotlight from both Laurie and Michael, which makes him the main focus of this film. 


In conclusion, Corey gets a little big-headed and decides to take on Michael. This is probably one of the silliest moments of the movie. You have Michael Myers, who's about 6'3 or 6'4, tackling a guy less his size. You think that after being a non-stop killing machine, Michael wouldn't have a problem putting him down. But...he doesn't. I guess Michael is really showing his age, who knows?


So Corey steals Michael's mask and gets his revenge on his bullies and blah, blah, blah. It's all very typical and formulaic from then on. I also want to point out that when Corey puts the mask on it somehow gives him superpowers? What?


Besides the point, I think Corey is a really interesting character on his own. His backstory in particular feels like something out of an early eighties slasher: a misunderstood loner who is ostracized and bullied in his hometown and gets revenge on his tormenters. But the problem is, his story arc takes up most of the movie and it's a pretty slow build-up. It would've been more interesting if Corey was already an established character in the first film. What if he was already a boyfriend of Allyson's? Her parents like him, Laurie likes him, and he's an all-around well-to-do guy but the events of Halloween 2018 and Halloween Kills traumatized him a bit in this movie. He still is his normal self but then the accidental murder of his charge happened and he's completely ostracized by the townspeople. Before you know it, he gets "touched" by Michael's evil, therefore, becoming the new boogeyman of Haddonfield. That would be a hell of a lot better than what they got here.


Overall,  Corey is an alright character and I thought the actor did a decent enough job but the story and the pacing could have gelled better with what's supposed the final film of the franchise. 


Once again, Laurie Strode is relegated to a supporting character in her own movie. It's a damn shame because this is actually Jamie Lee Curtis' final appearance in a Halloween film. Her story arc does have a good headstart but the film never takes the time to utilize that.
Okay, here's how it goes:


Four years after the events of Halloween Kills, Laurie decides to cut out of the survivalist shtick and tries to live a normal life. This kind of works because this is what her daughter wanted: a normal, stable home life. That's good and all but why on earth would Laurie stay in a town that's riddled with devastation, bloodshed, and grief? I'm still surprised she stayed in Haddonfield after the first film's carnage. However, there's another positive addition to Laurie's story arc: she's writing a novel about her experiences. If H20 did this, it would be the perfect cherry on top. 
Okay, enough with the positives, let's talk about the negatives. First of all, the townspeople are blaming Laurie for the murders. I just don't get it. In this one particular scene, a lady at the store confronts Laurie. For some odd reason, the lady blames Laurie for her sister's disability because somehow she provoked Michael Myers into a killing spree? What? Just to let you know, Michael Myers can kill anybody in his way. Why the hell would he even think about Laurie when there are more people to kill? It's ludicrous for this woman to think that Laurie is the cause of her sister's injury. Maybe this scene could've worked better if Laurie was Michael's sister. I know I keep saying that but that would be way more effective than what they got here. It's a lame attempt at drama. For instance, in the scene where the dead boy's mother just so happens to be at the same bar as Corey and Allyson. It just feels forced and contrived. Oh, but it gets much stupider. Allyson, of all people, blames Laurie for her parents' death just because she's not on board with Allyson dating Corey. What? this is soap-opera levels of bad. And trust me, I'll get to Allyson later. 
However, I did like the chemistry between Laurie and Deputy Hawkins. Speaking of, let's focus on him for a bit. 


Remember in the last movie where there was this big hoopla about Hawkins never getting the chance to kill Michael and once he heals from his wounds, he'll finally finish the job? Given that this is the final film, Hawkins should have a much more important role. Unfortunately, that never came to be. Hawkins has basically been downgraded to a minor supporting role. He doesn't even face Michael in the climactic scene. Another gripe I have with this is his relationship with Laurie. Their love story was way more interesting than Corey and Allyson's and it's treated like an afterthought. Other than that, Hawkins isn't given much to do. 


Now back to Laurie. I feel like her story arc is such wasted potential. She was pretty much the driving force of Halloween 2018 but in the next two movies, it seems like the filmmakers needed to figure out what to do with her story. After all, Laurie is essentially the main character of the whole series, so what's next on the list? She's not related to Michael, so what's the connection between them? More on that later. 
Overall, Jamie Lee Curtis did a great job with what little she was given. Jamie will always be the best part of these movies.


Allyson. Oh boy, Allyson. I have to admit, she did have some potential as a well-thought-out character given that she is the granddaughter of Laurie Strode and mirroring her characteristics. Slowly but surely, Allyson has become the victim of the idiot plot. So in the beginning, she is still traumatized by the death of her parents and friends. Not only that, it seems as though she's suffering from small-town boredom. She has an obnoxious ex-boyfriend who can't take no for an answer, a shitty boss who disregards her and has become a shell of her former self. The one thing I noticed about Allyson is that she now works as a nurse and I was like, "Oh cool, she might get a suspenseful chase like Laurie did in Halloween 2 but...that never happens. Yet another missed opportunity.


Anywho, she meets up with Corey and it's love at first sight. As I mentioned before, most of this subplot takes up half of the movie and I was so disengaged. Did the movie just change genres all of sudden? I thought the tone was so uneven and the horror was nonexistent.


From then on, Allyson loses all of her senses, putting a wedge between her and Laurie. Like I said before, what if Corey was Allyson's long-lost love, rekindling their high school romance? Therefore, the fight between her and Laurie would be more effective. Allyson would say something like, "Corey is the only person in my life and now you're taking him away from me too!" in which Allyson would come off as way more sympathetic than she does here.



Nothing against the actress. She does a good job with what she's given, it's just the writing of this character is totally backwards.


Lindsay Wallace, one of the surviving original cast members of Halloween Kills, has been relegated to a mere cameo. All that we know about her is that she owns a bar and becomes the local tarot card reader. One and done.
As far as the rest of the cast, they're incredibly unpleasant and obnoxious. It's one of those scenarios in horror films where you're rooting for the villain to them off. You have the spoiled brat from the prologue, Allyson's douchey ex, Allyson's annoying co-worker, Allyson's shitty boss, the band geek bullies, and the asshole disc jokey. They're all disposable and unlikeable. End of story.


Now let's talk about the man himself, Michael Myers. He's horribly underused in this movie, appearing 40 minutes too late. So you mean to tell me, after causing a roaring rampage in Halloween Kills, that he spent all this time hanging out with homeless men in tunnels? What? 


You see that's my issue with this whole trilogy. The filmmakers just don't know what to do with Michael. Is he this impeccable killing machine or is he a tired old man suffering from villain decay? I can see why the fans are upset because Michael Myers is barely in this movie. It's like the filmmakers forgot about him. Every time he's onscreen, he just has less and less impact. He doesn't even have that many kills this time around.
That's when the filmmakers realize their mistake towards the end.
Speaking of the ending, let's get this over with. 
With everyone turning on her, Laurie finally loses her grip on life and picks up a gun. Corey is rearing towards her with a knife, waiting for her to pull the trigger...


Sike! Laurie shoots Corey five times and he goes down without a fight. As Laurie inches her gun to him, Corey gloats that if he can't have Allyson...then Corey stabs himself in the neck! Laurie goes in and pulls out the knife. Coincidently, Allyson comes to the door. Again, it's a lame attempt at drama. I don't know why they keep doing this. 
So a distraught Allyson runs out of the house and just when Laurie tries to explain herself, Michael burst through the door. First, he finishes off Corey, and then he makes his way toward Laurie.


They get into a knocked-out, dragged-out brawl, in which Laurie pins down Michael with a refrigerator. He grabs her on a chokehold, squeezing out her last breath but then, out of the blue, Allyson swoops in and breaks Michael's arm. Together, the two women impale Michael on the kitchen table with every single knife they can find. Laurie takes the final blow by draining the last of Michael's blood.


Afterwards, Deputy Hawkins leads a group of townspeople where they carry Michael's body and throws it in the car shredder. Haddonfield is finally cleansed of Michael's evil. Allyson leaves town, Laurie and Deputy Hawkins rekindle their relationship, and everything is back to normal. 
Now here's my take: What if Laurie was the town hero instead? And it could probably contrast with Corey being the town pariah. He resents Laurie and the rest of the town and that's when he begins his path to the Darkside, therefore becoming Michael's accomplice while rekindling his romance with Allyson. And if the filmmakers went with this, it would be a far more cohesive story. But this is what we got.
What do I think of this movie? I just don't care for it. As I said, the idea is interesting but the writing is horrible. I feel like the filmmakers were writing in a corner, trying to figure out how to end the trilogy.
But now I've heard that Blumhouse is making yet another series of Halloween films. Really? It's overkill at this point. This whole entire franchise is a mess. 
I hate that I have to say this but...I'm just not the biggest Halloween fan. Don't get me wrong, I love the first film, appreciate the second, and value the seventh. But as far as the rest of the movies go, they just don't do it for me. People are decrying that there should be a reshoot and they need to change the entire story but no amount of reshoots is gonna change my mind. I think 13 films is enough. I just don't see how they can make more of these, they're milking it dry at this point. H20 felt like the perfect ending for me and the series should've ended there. 
What more can they do? It's been retconned, rebooted, remade, requelized. What can I say? I'm just sick of these movies. There has to be stopping point and this is the end of the road for me. 
Last word: Final film. Final Straw.






 




 

























Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Candyman: Day Of The Dead (1999)

 



Wow, this movie was a total turkey and it's a shame because this series could've had a lot of potential. I think the concept of the main characters being descendants of Candyman is a neat idea, it's just the execution is really terrible. I was trying to figure out where this movie went wrong and why it was released on straight-to-video in the first place. For instance, the budget is significantly lower than the previous two movies and it...shows. What makes this even more strange is that it premiered on Cinemax, a network mostly known for its softcore porn. Speaking of which, this is the only Candyman movie to have explicit nudity and it's kind of jarring. To be quite honest with you, most of it was pretty unnecessary. When it comes to the plot, it's nothing more than a later-rinse-repeat of the first and second movies. Oh, I guess this is the part where I talk about the paper-thin plot.



Do you remember that line in Scream where Sidney jokes about how horror movies starts off with a buxom blonde who gets killed in the first five minutes? Well, that's exactly how Day of the Dead starts. How trite.


Just after the opening credits, it turns out to be a dream and the buxom blonde is our main lead. Okay, I'll give you a hint. Remember the little girl from the end of the movie? Annie Tarrant's daughter? Yes, you got it. This is Caroline McKeever, the last living family member of Candyman's bloodline.


Now living as an art gallery owner in Los Angeles, Caroline is the shareholder of  Candyman's paintings which she plans to showcase at an upcoming art exhibit. During the art exhibit, the guests is much more fascinated by the killings of Candyman than his paintings. Caroline is quick to defend her great-great-great-great grandfather's honor and debunks the urban legend by saying his name five times in the mirror....and you know what happens. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, people die around Caroline. Yada, Yada, Yada, she gets framed for the murders. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda, Caroline has her final confrontation with Candyman, and you know the drill. I wish I could tell the story in much detail but I really don't see the point. 
Though there are at least two subplots in the movie. First, there is the mystery surrounding *spoilers* Annie's supposed suicide. You see, after the events of Farewell to the Flesh, Annie has since suffered from early dementia. So Caroline was her mother's main caretaker from then on. But suddenly, she finds Annie in the bathtub with her throat slit, thinking all this time it was a suicide but in fact, it was Candyman who did the deed. This means that this wasn't really a mystery at all. It was obvious from the start that there was no need to stretch out this subplot.
But then there's another stupid subplot about a mysterious gang who steals Candyman's paintings. And again, this goes nowhere. There are at least three plots going on in this movie and nothing can keep me invested. Anywho, let's get on with the cast, shall we?


Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. Donna D'Errico is not a great actress. I've even seen her on episodes of Baywatch and all she does on that show is just stand there and look pretty like she's posing for the camera or something. Nothing against her or anything, I just don't get why the filmmakers cast her as the lead. Alright, here's where I make comparisons from the first movie to the third one here. First, you have Virginia Madsen who really sold it with her performance, then you have Kelly Rowan who also did a decent job. Donna, on the other hand....basically acts like the stereotypical hysterical woman in a horror film. All she does is SCREAM. Scream. Scream. Scream. I mean there's nothing wrong with that, per se, but there is no nuance to this character. She could be interesting if the script would let her, however, Donna D'Errico is given nothing to do. I can see that she tries but her acting just comes off really weak. Sadly, Caroline as a character isn't that compelling to me.
Okay, now it's time to streamline through the rest of the characters. Trust me, It'll be quick.


We have David played by Jsu Garcia. Even though David is no more than a love interest for Caroline, I thought Jsu Garica was one of the better actors with the exception of Tony Todd. Not only is he incredibly handsome, but he's also impeccably charismatic, which makes his performance come off more natural and organic.




Even if the movie is trash, Tony Todd still rocks as Candyman. He could've easily been a wise-cracking joker like most slasher villains at this time, but Mr. Todd really kept the mystique of Candyman and has been consistent throughout. Besides this being the worst Candyman sequel, Tony Todd is the best part of it.

We actually have two sets of good cops and two sets of bad cops in this movie.


There's Jamal played by Ernie Hudson Jr. (yes, that's Ernie Hudson's son) alongside his female partner Jamie, who holds the moral ground and is rather fed up with their obnoxious co-workers. 


Then we have bad cop Sam Craft, played by Wade Williams, and his partner L.V. Sam is a blatant caricature of a racist cop. Sure, this was a way to bring back the social commentary of the first movie, but it's done in the worst way and the writing of the character is just pure cringe. He's nothing more than a parody of Detective Levesque from the second movie. 
Okay, I'm just gonna power on through here but the rest of the characters are just...there with not much screentime. 


We have cocky art dealer Miguel and his main squeeze Lena...



Who gets killed off as soon as they're introduced.


Then there's Caroline's roommate and aspiring actress Tamara who declares Candyman isn't real but unfortunately for her...


Candyman pays her a visit.


Next, we have Detective L.V., who's part of the bad cop duo.


He rightfully gets a hook shoved down his throat.
There are more characters to come but it involves the supposed plot twist. So let's just get to the ending, shall we?




So it turns out that this group of street goths, who pride themselves as Candyman enthusiasts,  stole the paintings. And I gotta tell you, these are one of the worst actors in the movie. HANDS DOWN. Good lord, I get the feeling that this was intentional on the filmmaker's part. Are they supposed to be over-the-top? Ugh, freakin' awful! 



So while they hold Caroline captive, the street goths conjures up Candyman and, of course, he brutally murders them one by one. 



Now Caroline faces off with Candyman while this time, instead of saving a missing child, she has to save a missing adult in the form of David. 


In order to vanquish Candyman, Caroline has to destroy his most valuable painting: His portrait. Even though there's a bunch of bees filing around, she gets to it fairly easily. 


And just like that, as soon as the painting is destroyed, Candyman bursts into flames. Poof! Gone! No more! he's easily defeated. What a cheap move! Oh but that's not where the movie ends.


Out of nowhere, Detective Craft goes a little nutty, attempting to kill Caroline and David but, in the nick of time, Jamal comes in and shoots him in the back of the head. That's when Caroline has to break the Candyman curse once and for all by pinning the murders on Detective Craft (again, rightfully so, as we soon find out that he'd always had psychotic breaks, which in my opinion, is very dangerous for the police department to keep this lunatic on their team).


So all is well, Caroline, David, and his daughter have a little picnic at the park and they all live happily ever after... Barf!
You may notice I didn't put much energy into this review and there's a reason why. There could've been ways for this sequel to not end up the way it did. I mean this is a Candyman sequel of all things! Okay, Okay, Okay. Let me explain myself. You see the first movie had a sort of sophistication to it. I even consider the second movie to be sophisticated as well. But this sequel has an overall cheap feel to it. Nothing feels natural. The acting, the writing, the directing. It's like it sucked out all of the intelligence that the first movie had. I mean at least the second movie tried! I don't know, this is probably one of the worst horror sequels ever. Hands down! Some might look at it as a fun b-movie or whatever but that's not what I want in a Candyman movie. Candyman is more than that, dammit. It's a concept with substance and the filmmakers should've respected that. At least, Nia DaCosta understood this and thankfully she came to save the day with the fourth sequel, initially ignoring this mess of a movie.
My last word: If you're curious, sure. But I say skip it, it's a waste of your time.