Saturday, September 20, 2014

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures

I'm back bitches! And I'm here to rank up my Top Ten guiltiest pleasures. Now these are not considered good movies or could be in the lines of mediocre but for me these movies either had a special place in my childhood,  to watch for a good laugh, or something to watch on a rainy day. Now you don't have to agree with me here, some these movies are silly, intentionally or unintentionally, but you know what, I had a good time watching them and so should you.

To start this off let's  go with the honorable mentions:


This movie had to come on this list somehow but the reason it isn't because of how incredibly sleazy it is. Sure, that's the movie's charm, however, it goes out of it's way to get an NC-17. The supposed characters in the movies aren't characters, there more like caricatures. Some of them don't even act like human beings. The main heroine is not particularly likeable once you see how she is introduced and has shitty morals. Lastly, Joe Eszterhas is not the greatest screenwriter. The way he portrays woman, how the story is set up, how the setting is set all just wrong. Maybe I should do a full depth analysis on this but for all the times I watched this movie, it just doesn't make this list.

Ben and Arthur

Oh my gosh, this movie is hilarious. It tries to teach us a serious message but it fails at execution. It also have terrible production values, stupid character motivations, terrible acting, terrible directing, the list goes on. But I will give this movie at least one positive feedback for recognizing gay marriage but please don't think I'm giving this movie TOO much credit otherwise. Why isn't it on the list? I'm just too ashamed for it to be on the list at all.

Friday The 13th part 8,9, and 10

Sure, I've already reviewed these movies before and they could be easy to watch if you wouldn't put too much thought on them but the reason they aren't on the list is because all the plot holes and inconsistences  prevent them from being watchable, sure these movies could be so bad it's good. However, these just don't cut it really.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 and 6

These could be watchable movies if  you take the time to be invested in them. But on the downside, these are the two movies that made the series into a total joke. It dose have some interesting plots but it fails at execution. So the bottom line is these are quite forgettable.

Bride of Chucky/Seed of Chucky

These movies could work well as comedies. That's it....I just don't see these as horror films. It's like I'm watching stupid family sitcoms with a few dead bodies in it's wake. The movies wouldn't be a waste of your time however these aren't the best Child's Play movies.

Let's begin the list shall we:

10. The Room

This has got to be one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I have ever seen. From what I heard this was a production mess which explains the final result of the movie. I first watched this on adult swim and to be honest, I thought this was a failed pilot for a TV show. From Canada, at least. But then I found out this was an actual movie that was in theaters for a while. Wow...just wow. This movie could be considered a parody of a soap opera. The melodrama is laughable, we have supporting characters we don't know, and the main storyline is contrived. I would say one thing though, At least the actors tried. I'm not saying they're by no means good but at least they tried to act their way through the bad dialogue. The only bad actor in this, unfortunately, is Tommy Wiseau himself, who lack of emotion and bad line delivering  really is the worst aspect of the movie. This would  be fun for a good laugh, so it would be good for any bad movie lover.

9. Batman and Robin

Don't get me wrong, this is one of the worst comic book movies ever but if you look at this as a comedy, it's definitely a riot. The over-the-top acting, The ridiculous costumes, and the endless hurricane of puns. It all adds up to this glorious mess of a movie. The hype was insane but nobody knew the crap that was coming their way. To be truthful I watch this for nostalgic purposes. I first seen this in theaters and to explain myself I was only six years old, so you don't have to judge me. Even though it's the worst comic book movie ever, it's still the most guiltiest pleasure ever.

8. Earth Girls Are Easy

This is a totally cheesy movie and it's so....80's. However, I watched this movie so many times more than my all time classic movies. I don't know it just has a certain charm to it. And this made me laugh more than any other Jim Carrey movie. Yes, he is really hilarious in this. Then there is Geena Davis playing the role of the adorable girl next door, a semi-attractive Jeff Goldblum , The always cool Damon Wayans, and the ever funny Julie Brown to round out the cast. And did I mention this was a musical? Yes, it surely is. The musical numbers are quite catchy actually. This movie is definitely a blast for an 80's fan.

7. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Sequel

Again, this is another nostalgic favorite of mine. I loved, loved, loved the ninja turtles and when I saw the first movie on USA in the nineties, I was completely in awe. But I think I watched the sequel more times than the first one because that's the only ninja turtles movie my dad owned. And boy was it a good time. The second sequel maybe silly and stupid but I had so much fun watching it. When I was a kid I popped this in every Friday and Saturday night for my special movie time. It was that awesome. My favorite scene was at the dance club which is technically the movie's climax and that "Go Ninja Go" song cannot get out of my head. These movies are not considered classics but at least they are a reflection of our childhood. And I'm not talking about the third movie. It's a boring piece of crap that I'll probably review some other time.

6. Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Sure it might be in the shadow of the more darker, edgier, and more popular TV series. Sure, it's nothing more than a campy teen flick that's quite obscure, but I can't help but love this movie for some reason. Yeah, the story feels rushed and although Kristy Swanson is a decent actress, she would done a much better performance. And yet, I like for what it is. It deviates what should be a much more darker film and prefers to be high camp. I was a sucker for movies like this and I'm still kind of am(for the least part). Though I would love to talk about what happened behind the scenes But I'll save that for another analysis. On the plus side, this was pretty fun movie to watch. It's not good, though at least it will be something to watch on a rainy day.

5. Charlie's Angels and The Sequel

You know what? I really like the Charlie's Angels movies. Although it was highly successful and people couldn't stop talking about it, it wasn't considered that good. Even Roger Ebert took a snipe at it. Some people these days would pass it off as another dumb mindless action flick. And you know what else? That's why I love this series so much. They are just fun action flicks that don't take themselves too seriously. I also liked the chemistry between Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. You can tell they seem like really good friends and are having the time of their lives. I would think the fans of the television show could flock to this too because it does capture the feel of the TV series in a new modern way. Now just to say this I do love the TV series and probably watched it every morning before school when I was a kid but it's not what quality television and it is it's own guilty pleasure at best. Which some would say for the movie series, however, I like fun stupid action flicks and I would probably rank this as my favorite action movies beside Kill Bill.

4. Mommie Dearest

Just to let you know I don't think Child Abuse is funny. It's kind of sad and depressing when it's depicted on film, So much so it's kind of hard to watch. However, this movie has such a failed attempt at drama, it's almost hilarious to watch. It tries so hard to be this Oscar-worthy movie but it just crashes in it's own convoluted mess. Now I don't know the whole complete backstory of Joan Crawford and she may have been looney tunes but this movie is so apart from reality that it had me thinking most of the scenes that happened in the movie never happened in the book and was just put in for some shock value. Which boils down to Faye Dunaway's performance. I don't think she's a bad actress and she really tries though there are moments where she literally comes off like a cartoon character. Most of the time, she reminds me of certain Disney villains: First, she the wicked queen from Snow White, Then She's Lady Tremaine from Cinderella, and little bit of the wicked witch from the west from The Wizard Of Oz. Faye Dunaway's performance alone is the reason why I crave this movie so much and if given much more thought with a couple of rewrites and reshoots maybe, it could've been a really good movie. Oh well at least it's a cult classic for good or bad reasons.

3. Jawbreaker

I love, love, love this movie. Maybe it's because it's not your typical teen movie and it has much more different take on high school since certain high school movies back then were kind of cheesy and predictable. Some would like to compare this to the movie Heathers. But where Heathers dive more into the darker side of things, Jawbreaker is much more campier in it's terms of black comedy. I also enjoyed Rose McGowan's devious performance as the calculating and manipulative Courtney Shane. This role was made for her. There are also other decent actresses that I enjoy as well including Rebecca Gayheart, Julie Benz, and Judy Greer, which was her first big movie role. It's not your typical bubblegum teen fare, it's sort of a satire of it, which I really enjoy. And may I say the theme song is earwormy? This movie is an underrated classic in my opinion, especially for those who enjoy 90's teen movies.

2. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

I watched this movie more times just as any other horror movie. Every time it comes on TV, I just have this certain need to watch it. If you ignore the stupid plot, the lame twist, and the idiocy of certain characters, you might have a good time. Unlike most characters in a horror movie these days, the cast is really likeable and the acting is actually good. I don't know, I just think Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brandy are just so charming together. This is also a lot more action-packed than the last movie where the first one was more of a mystery-thriller, this one is more of a high-seas type of adventure movie. That's why I'm so invested the stakes are much higher and there is actual suspense. Although, this is nothing more than a cash-in sequel, it's still entertaining to watch.

1. Josie and The Pussycats

I know what you're going to say but I just had to rank this at the top of my list. During my childhood, I watched a lot of Cartoon Network and often so, I would catch an episode of Josie and The Pussycats cartoon. I was hooked. Sure, it was a knock-off of Scooby-doo but I enjoyed it otherwise. Especially the theme song. Plus I had the Archie comics for good measure. So when I heard that a movie adaptation was coming to theaters, I was psyched. I was only ten years old and all over this movie. I was determined to get that front row seat. Unfortunately, there wasn't that many people in the movie theater. Maybe the people in my town was never familiar about a trio of girls dressed as cats playing a rock band. But the movie experience was unforgettable. I thought the casting was spot-on. I was a fan of Rachel Leigh Cook during her She's All That phase and I was happy to see her in this role. She was very believable as this laid back girl-next-door. I didn't know who Rasiro Dawson was at the time and this was the first mainstream movie I saw her in. And you know what, she was great. She too was believable as the smart, mature cool big sis type. But the showstopper for me was Tara Reid, who was a bit too believable as the happy-go lucky dumb blonde. I was laughing my ass off every time she said a stupid line. Though the supporting cast makes up for this movie as well. Here you have the awesome Parker Posey and Alan Cumming. They are a comedic team and they have really good chemistry together. Maybe in a lifetime I would see these two in a movie again. The soundtrack was certified gold at the time and rightfully so. The songs are so catchy, so fun to listen, I just have this good feeling every time it plays. I know, I know, I'm being too sentimental. But whenever I look at movies like this it just give me this euphoria of nostalgia. The late 90's and early 2000's were happy times and this movie was a testament to that. Sure the whole mind control thing with pop music seemed tacked on but It's not like we think the whole mind control still works now. I mean the pop music that we listen today is such crap I can see how anybody pull that out of a drop of a hat. But anywho, The movie actually feels like an episode from the series just with a modern spin to it. And this was at a time where movies, bad or good, were entertaining. they didn't have to be great or anything, just a blast to watch. I don't know.....this movie has a special place in my heart for some reason. And I'm not ashamed one bit.

P.S. I love this song. Sue Me!

So there is my top ten guiltiest pleasures. Maybe some of the movies in this list may make your day a little better but if you have your guilty pleasure to admit. Don't be afraid to say it. :)