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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.
Showing posts with label top ten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top ten. Show all posts

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures




Top Ten Guilty Pleasures

I'm back bitches! And I'm here to rank up my Top Ten guiltiest pleasures. Now these are not considered good movies or could be in the lines of mediocre but for me these movies either had a special place in my childhood,  to watch for a good laugh, or something to watch on a rainy day. Now you don't have to agree with me here, some these movies are silly, intentionally or unintentionally, but you know what, I had a good time watching them and so should you.

To start this off let's  go with the honorable mentions:

Showgirls

This movie had to come on this list somehow but the reason it isn't because of how incredibly sleazy it is. Sure, that's the movie's charm, however, it goes out of it's way to get an NC-17. The supposed characters in the movies aren't characters, there more like caricatures. Some of them don't even act like human beings. The main heroine is not particularly likeable once you see how she is introduced and has shitty morals. Lastly, Joe Eszterhas is not the greatest screenwriter. The way he portrays woman, how the story is set up, how the setting is set up....is all just wrong. Maybe I should do a full depth analysis on this but for all the times I watched this movie, it just doesn't make this list.

Ben and Arthur

Oh my gosh, this movie is hilarious. It tries to teach us a serious message but it fails at execution. It also have terrible production values, stupid character motivations, terrible acting, terrible directing, the list goes on. But I will give this movie at least one positive feedback for recognizing gay marriage but please don't think I'm giving this movie TOO much credit otherwise. Why isn't it on the list? I'm just too ashamed for it to be on the list at all.

Friday The 13th part 8,9, and 10

Sure, I've already reviewed these movies before and they could be easy to watch if you wouldn't put too much thought on them but the reason they aren't on the list is because all the plot holes and inconsistences  prevent them from being watchable, sure these movies could be so bad it's good. However, these just don't cut it really.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 and 6

These could be watchable movies if  you take the time to be invested in them. But on the downside, these are the two movies that made the series into a total joke. It dose have some interesting plots but it fails at execution. So the bottom line is these are quite forgettable.

Bride of Chucky/Seed of Chucky

These movies could work well as comedies. That's it....I just don't see these as horror films. It's like I'm watching stupid family sitcoms with a few dead bodies in it's wake. The movies wouldn't be a waste of your time however these aren't the best Child's Play movies.

Let's begin the list shall we:


10. The Room

This has got to be one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I have ever seen. From what I heard this was a production mess which explains the final result of the movie. I first watched this on adult swim and to be honest, I thought this was a failed pilot for a TV show. From Canada, at least. But then I found out this was an actual movie that was in theaters for a while. Wow...just wow. This movie could be considered a parody of a soap opera. The melodrama is laughable, we have supporting characters we don't know, and the main storyline is contrived. I would say one thing though, At least the actors tried. I'm not saying they're by no means good but at least they tried to act their way through the bad dialogue. The only bad actor in this, unfortunately, is Tommy Wiseau himself, who lack of emotion and bad line delivering  really is the worst aspect of the movie. This would  be fun for a good laugh, so it would be good for any bad movie lover.




9. Batman and Robin

Don't get me wrong, this is one of the worst comic book movies ever but if you look at this as a comedy, it's definitely a riot. The over-the-top acting, The ridiculous costumes, and the endless hurricane of puns. It all adds up to this glorious mess of a movie. The hype was insane but nobody knew the crap that was coming their way. To be truthful I watch this for nostalgic purposes. I first seen this in theaters and to explain myself I was only six years old, so you don't have to judge me. Even though it's the worst comic book movie ever, it's still the most guiltiest pleasure ever.




8. Earth Girls Are Easy

This is a totally cheesy movie and it's so....80's. However, I watched this movie so many times more than my all time classic movies. I don't know it just has a certain charm to it. And this made me laugh more than any other Jim Carrey movie. Yes, he is really hilarious in this. Then there is Geena Davis playing the role of the adorable girl next door, a very attractive Jeff Goldblum , The always cool Damon Wayans, and the ever funny Julie Brown to round out the cast. And did I mention this was a musical? Yes, it surely is. The musical numbers are quite catchy actually. This movie is definitely a blast for an 80's fan.








7. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Sequel

Again, this is another nostalgic favorite of mine. I loved, loved, loved the ninja turtles and when I saw the first movie on USA in the nineties, I was completely in awe. But I think I watched the sequel more times than the first one because that's the only ninja turtles movie my dad owned. And boy was it a good time. The second sequel maybe silly and stupid but I had so much fun watching it. When I was a kid I popped this in every Friday and Saturday night for my special movie time. It was that awesome. My favorite scene was at the dance club which is technically the movie's climax and that "Go Ninja Go" song cannot get out of my head. These movies are not considered classics but at least they are a reflection of our childhood. And I'm not talking about the third movie. It's a boring piece of crap that I'll probably review some other time.






6. Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Sure it might be in the shadow of the more darker, edgier, and more popular TV series. Sure, it's nothing more than a campy teen flick that's quite obscure, but I can't help but love this movie for some reason. Yeah, the story feels rushed and although Kristy Swanson is a decent actress, she would done a much better performance. And yet, I like for what it is. It deviates what should be a much more darker film and prefers to be high camp. I was a sucker for movies like this and I'm still kind of am(for the least part). Though I would love to talk about what happened behind the scenes But I'll save that for another analysis. On the plus side, this was pretty fun movie to watch. It's not good, though at least it will be something to watch on a rainy day.






5. Charlie's Angels and The Sequel

You know what? I really like the Charlie's Angels movies. Although it was highly successful and people couldn't stop talking about it, it wasn't considered that good. Even Roger Ebert took a snipe at it. Some people these days would pass it off as another dumb mindless action flick. And you know what else? That's why I love this series so much. They are just fun action flicks that don't take themselves too seriously. I also liked the chemistry between Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. You can tell they seem like really good friends and are having the time of their lives. I would think the fans of the television show could flock to this too because it does capture the feel of the TV series in a new modern way. Now just to say this I do love the TV series and probably watched it every morning before school when I was a kid but it's not what quality television and it is it's own guilty pleasure at best. Which some would say for the movie series, however, I like fun stupid action flicks and I would probably rank this as my favorite action movies beside Kill Bill.





4. Mommie Dearest

Just to let you know I don't think Child Abuse is funny. It's kind of sad and depressing when it's depicted on film, So much so it's kind of hard to watch. However, this movie has such a failed attempt at drama, it's almost hilarious to watch. It tries so hard to be this Oscar-worthy movie but it just crashes in it's own convoluted mess. Now I don't know the whole complete backstory of Joan Crawford and she may have been looney tunes but this movie is so apart from reality that it had me thinking most of the scenes that happened in the movie never happened in the book and was just put in for some shock value. Which boils down to Faye Dunaway's performance. I don't think she's a bad actress and she really tries though there are moments where she literally comes off like a cartoon character. Most of the time, she reminds me of certain Disney villains: First, she the wicked queen from Snow White, Then She's Lady Tremaine from Cinderella, and little bit of the wicked witch from the west from The Wizard Of Oz. Faye Dunaway's performance alone is the reason why I crave this movie so much and if given much more thought with a couple of rewrites and reshoots maybe, it could've been a really good movie. Oh well at least it's a cult classic for good or bad reasons.









3. Jawbreaker

I love, love, love this movie. Maybe it's because it's not your typical teen movie and it has much more different take on high school since certain high school movies back then were kind of cheesy and predictable. Some would like to compare this to the movie Heathers. But where Heathers dive more into the darker side of things, Jawbreaker is much more campier in it's terms of black comedy. I also enjoyed Rose McGowan's devious performance as the calculating and manipulative Courtney Shane. This role was made for her. There are also other decent actresses that I enjoy as well including Rebecca Gayheart, Julie Benz, and Judy Greer, which was her first big movie role. It's not your typical bubblegum teen fare, it's sort of a satire of it, which I really enjoy. And may I say the theme song is earwormy? This movie is an underrated classic in my opinion, especially for those who enjoy 90's teen movies.





2. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

I watched this movie more times just as any other horror movie. Every time it comes on TV, I just have this certain need to watch it. If you ignore the stupid plot, the lame twist, and the idiocy of certain characters, you might have a good time. Unlike most characters in a horror movie these days, the cast is really likeable and the acting is actually good. I don't know, I just think Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brandy are just so charming together. This is also a lot more action-packed than the last movie where the first one was more of a mystery-thriller, this one is more of a high-seas type of adventure movie. That's why I'm so invested the stakes are much higher and there is actual suspense. Although, this is nothing more than a cash-in sequel, it's still entertaining to watch.





1. Josie and The Pussycats

I know what you're going to say but I just had to rank this at the top of my list. During my childhood, I watched a lot of Cartoon Network and often so, I would catch an episode of Josie and The Pussycats cartoon. I was hooked. Sure, it was a knock-off of Scooby-doo but I enjoyed it otherwise. Especially the theme song. Plus I had the Archie comics for good measure. So when I heard that a movie adaptation was coming to theaters, I was psyched. I was only ten years old and all over this movie. I was determined to get that front row seat. Unfortunately, there wasn't that many people in the movie theater. Maybe the people in my town was never familiar about a trio of girls dressed as cats playing a rock band. But the movie experience was unforgettable. I thought the casting was spot-on. I was a fan of Rachel Leigh Cook during her She's All That phase and I was happy to see her in this role. She was very believable as this laid back girl-next-door. I didn't know who Rasiro Dawson was at the time and this was the first mainstream movie I saw her in. And you know what, she was great. She too was believable as the smart, mature cool big sis type. But the showstopper for me was Tara Reid, who was a bit too believable as the happy-go lucky dumb blonde. I was laughing my ass off every time she said a stupid line. Though the supporting cast makes up for this movie as well. Here you have the awesome Parker Posey and Alan Cumming. They are a comedic team and they have really good chemistry together. Maybe in a lifetime I would see these two in a movie again. The soundtrack was certified gold at the time and rightfully so. The songs are so catchy, so fun to listen, I just have this good feeling every time it plays. I know, I know, I'm being too sentimental. But whenever I look at movies like this it just give me this euphoria of nostalgia. The late 90's and early 2000's were happy times and this movie was a testament to that. Sure the whole mind control thing with pop music seemed tacked on but It's not like we think the whole mind control still works now. I mean the pop music that we listen today is such crap I can see how anybody pull that out of a drop of a hat. But anywho, The movie actually feels like an episode from the series just with a modern spin to it. And this was at a time where movies, bad or good, were entertaining. they didn't have to be great or anything, just a blast to watch. I don't know.....this movie has a special place in my heart for some reason. And I'm not ashamed one bit.


P.S. I love this song. Sue Me!



So there is my top ten guiltiest pleasures. Maybe some of the movies in this list may make your day a little better but if you have your guilty pleasure to admit. Don't be afraid to say it. :)













Wednesday, July 27, 2011

J.D's Top Ten Witches

I am so proud to present to you my Top Ten Badass Witches. Some are good....Some are bad...Some are just....a little rough around the edges. But some are intelligent, strong, compentent and, of course, powerful. Now let's start with the list shall we?

1. Sarah Bailey- The Craft

Sarah starts off as a shy girl with a troubled, hidden past who embarks on a new enviromment from San Francisco to Los Angeles. That's when She meets Nancy and her crew. New to Witchcraft, She is scared and intimidated, But once she learns of her true self, she becomes strong and relisent. Sarah was the true witch in the game while the others stood by in all her glory. And that makes her number #1. Which makes this one right here on.....

Nancy- The Craft

A little at the bottom first. This Badass has a take no charge approach which mixes in her addictive personality. Coming from a dysfunctional household, she changes all that by getting as much power as she can by having money and her integrity under her belt, along with being a pyschotic bitch. Jealous of Sarah and her newfound wisdom, vengefully, she tries to do what she thinks is the right thing to do: Get Rid Of Sarah. Sadly, she fails at that game and her powers are striped away, making her crazy-eyed and delusional in a mental institution. Which is why Sarah's the first best. Sorry Nancy, you can't take your powers for granted.


2. The Halliwell Sisters-Charmed

Spunky, Charming, Fiesty, Sexy and Independent. These Three(later four) young witches had to learn the hard way of juggling their normal lives and their witchy duties by mid point. Through all the setbacks, heartbreaks, tradgies, and evil-doers, they will always find a way to get back at their feet. These sister witches sure know how to put the capital G in girl power.


3.Willow Rosenberg-Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Sweet, Smart, Lovable Willow. To be honest, She is one of the most beloved characters on the show. Even more memorable than Buffy I assume. I'm just saying. This brainy redhead is also a raging lesbian. Witchcraft and Lesbianism....That's a good combanation. She was first a shy, kinda geeky girl with low social skills but once the Powers That Be came along, she graced out of high school, a fearless, intellectual strong-willed lesbian. And proud of it!


4. Kiki-Kiki's Delivery Service

She is the most cutest, adorable witch you could ever find. She's even nice enough to deliver food to you if you need any. When you reach the rightful age of 13, it's never easy, even when your only ability as a witch is flying broomsticks. And that takes a lot of process. But once she goes through all the setbacks and obstacles, she becomes a confident, well-adjusted young witch with her whole life ahead of her. We're still rooting for you, Kiki.


5. Alex, Sukie, and Jane- The Witches of Eastwick

Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. It's the classic trope in form, especially from a witch trio. This Fearless Threesome are not only crafty in the Powers That Be, but are played by the fabulous Cher, the saucy Michelle Phiffer and the ever-so-charming Susan Sarandon. At first, they seem like your normal, everday women with their day-to-day get-togethers with a dose of martini on the side. Their usual topic of dicussion is about men. And once they describe a little too much about the perfect man, the witches conjur up a unknown creature named Darryl Van Horne. Not knowing of their powers at first, Darryl helps them through with the power of love(or sex, if you can see it that way). Ravished with the finer things in life, it soon comes with a price when someone gets hurt. Darryl seems to be the cause of it. And when there's a problem you solve it. And boy do these witches get to work! after getting rid of the slimeball from hell, they soon found out that they did it on their own. They didn't need a man to realize their powers. They needed to realize it for themselves. That's what makes them a great team. Its all about Girl Power! Who runs Eastwick? These witches do! also on this number.....


The Sanderson Sister-Hocus Pocus

Yet another Blonde, Brunette, Redhead trio. This consist of the headstrong Winifred, The ditzy Sarah, and the goofy Mary. Back in the middle ages or whatever, they were feared and loathed by townspeople but once they're transported in the 20th century, their days of hellraising have wavered a little just because you know.....it's the 90's. Now that they're chasing around a new age of kids, The Sanderson Sisters are not as scary as they assume to be. They're quite.....amusing. They're actually the most funniest villians in disney history. They could be scary to little kids but do you really think that they're scary to older kids? A definite no. I give props to Bette Milder, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy for their awesome performances.




6. Ginny Weasely, Hermonie Granger, and Luna Lovegood- Harry Potter Saga

If you see these three witches in the same room together, they would make a very interesting trio. You have the Shy but Spunky Ginny, the Intelligent but Fiesty Hermonie, the Sweet but Spacey Luna. Once you team up this unique trio, it'll be like a match made in hogwarts heaven. Special Note: I'm planning on making a comic book adaption of this marvelous trio. P.S. They're american in this version.....

7. Sabrina Spellman-Sabrina The Teenage Witch

Smart, Funny, Likeable. There are so many words to describe this loveable blonde. The reason for her sunny attitude.....She's a witch but it comes with a lot baggage as well. It's not always easy being a teenager, and it's  not always easy being a witch. Schoolwork, mean girls, boys, magic.....the girl got a handful. but in the end with her perky, bubbly existence, any problem can be solved when Sabrina's around.


8. The White Witch-The Chronicles Of Narnia

Cold, Treachous, Manipultive. She is definitely an Ice Queen. No, scratch that. LITERALLY an ice queen. Her heart is as cold as ice could come. And just for certain, she has some kind of questionable attraction towards Edmund. Can I say cougar? Just because she a highly ice queen, doesen't mean she is as strong as you think she is, judging her thin frame. She'll kill you in seconds. She would if she could. You don't wanna mess with this nasty diva. If you do, you'll get what's coming for you.

9. Ursula The Sea Witch- The Little Mermaid

Yet another nasty diva on the list. This isn't exactly the actual picture of Ursula, But if they make a live action adaptation of The Little Mermaid, It would be badass right? This heartless monster would manipulate an innocent teenage girl if she feels like it. Matched with her larger than life form, she is the true HBIC of the dark sea. If you cross this biosterious gorgon, you might get squashed.


10. Sally and Gillian Owens-Practical Magic

These are just your friendly neighborhood witches who would do anything to look out for each other.....even kill a man. but don't worry, they are as harmless as a bunny rabbit. You have the calm, motherly Sally and the adventurous, free-spirited Gillian. They are played by none-other-than my favorite actresses in the world. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman! When it comes to magic with these two, it's all about the power of family and sisterhood. Right on, Sister Witches!

And there you have it, My Top Ten Favorite Witches. Of course witches are always my favorite topic. Good, Bad, Smart, and Beautiful, There will always be a kickass witch on my next list. Special note: Watch out for The Secret Circle This Fall. Can't wait til it comes out!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Ivy's Top Ten Badass Vampires

Now to present to you Ivy's Top Ten Badass Vampires. This list contains one of the most powerful, most deadly, and certainly the most stylish vampires in the biz. Here is the honorary list:

1. Akusha-Queen of The Damned
This egyptian goddess is known to be the ruthless leader of the vampire clan. No one dares to cross her path, not even the ones who are deemed as sinster. She tops this list because she knows the true game of vampirism since the dawn of time. So for all you vampys out there, this is truly the queen of them all...


2. Selene- Underworld
This Vamp not only has a thrist for blood but a thirst for guns too. Cross between two worlds: One from her notable clan and Two from the man she loves, She fights to have united equal by kicking some major ass. If people think vampires don't have souls, then how come this blood-seeking vixen is fighting for love?


3. Rayne- Cunning, Sultry and downright Deadly. Yes, deadly is her middle name. This firey redhead may have an undying thrist for blood but that dosen't stop her from becoming a defiant heroine. When it comes down to it, you don't wanna mess with this femme fatale. She got the moves AND fangs to prove it.

4. Sophie-Anne-True Blood
This fun-loving daughter of the night is possibly the most glamourous and high class vampire. What ultimately turns her sexual appatite is when two guys get it on. Honestly Miss Queen Sophie-Anne I don't blame you. Sexy, seductive and down for a good party, This vampy southern bell knows how to have a good time....Also on the list

Pam-True Blood
Yet another fiesty southern belle, although she dosen't care too much for partying as she is into the
vengeful-violent side of things. She maybe downright serious at times but she can fill in a few jokes or two. Because she's cool like that. But don't piss Pam off, this Bisexual bloodsucker can turn from lipstick to butch in a second if you can keep your head on straight.

5.Lilith-30 Days of Night: Dark Days
Even though 30 Days of Night: Dark Days was a somewhat mediocre movie with questionable production values, the best thing about it was this cold-blooded demoness of the night. Leader of her vampire clan she knows how to come at her prey at the right moment. be careful not to walk the streets of L.A at night, you might be her next meal ticket.


6. The Brides Of Dracula-Van Helsing
Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. A notable female trio with their brand of hair colors. But this trio is a lot more sinster per say with their noticable thirst for certain blood types....and their husband Dracula. They seem to copy the same M.O. and seductive manner as their husband's. The dutiful wives that they're are they hunt for their prey. their specialty are mostly men. So guys if you fall for these ladies' sensual looks, get a load of their true form.....

Vicisous!


7. Eli-Let The Right One In
She maybe an innocent little girl with wide gentle eyes but if you mess with her friend Oskar, you mess with her, which will end in bloody results. She's fast, she's frightening, and she'll tear you from limb to limb in a second. If you think she's a defensless little girl, you gotta another thing coming.


8. Moka Akashiya-Rosario+Vampire
She may be the vamp of the night(or day, it depends) But she is actually the most sweetest, kind-hearted vampires there is. Some Vampires are moody, melaclohinc, or just have no soul. Not this girl though, who is just your normal, cheerful, neighborhood-friendly vampire. You can tell from her rose-colored hair that she is as sweet as a rose could come.

9. Mina Tepes-Dance In The Vampire Bund

Mina acts like most natural vampires: Cocky, Agressive, and Naughty. But all of that is a facade. In Actuality, She's vunerable and lonely. She is the current ruler of the vampire world, which makes her life as ruler very depressing until she meets Akira, who helps her love again as a human being. It just shows that deep down in that cold vampire heart it's still beating inside. Mina is truly one of the sympatheic vampires. Speaking of sympatheic.....


10. Rosalie Hale- The Twilight Saga

At first she appears as a stoic yet enchanting ice queen but deep down she has had a dark and troubled past that she had overcome with such defiance and resilance, you can't help but root for her. She hides her vunerability by protesting a strong personality. High above that, she is caring, strong-willed, and the most captavating on the list. Cheers to you, Rosalie.

There you have it, The Top Ten Most Vampist Women On The Block. I hope you enjoyed the list as much as I do. You can't get more badass as a vampire can.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Top ten most damaged blonds on film

It show that being blond and beautiful comes with damaged goods and these ladies sure knows the depth to that. Some of these blondes don't only come from film but in real life too. Examples are Marylin Monroe, Edie Sedgwick, Courtney Love, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan(who dyes her hair blond during her more harsher times) However there's nothing compared to what these ladies go through. To some exsitence, these blonds certainly don't have any fun.

1. Cherie Curie- The Runaways
Dakota Fanning. Oh dear god, Dakota Fanning. She really gives a harrowing performance as the vunerable, sullen Cherie. It's towards the end, however, where she really spirals out of control. Having to deal with a asshole producer and deep-seeded family problems, you couldn't really blame this girl when she falls off the deep end. Dakota really shows how fucked up Cherie was back then. It's safe to say, that's she's well-adjusted now(she's a really good chainsaw artist) And hopefully she has a solo album coiming out. Good luck to ya, Cherie. On the plus side, Dakota should've been nominated for a golden globe. Maybe in the future though.

2. Frances Farmer-Frances

Woah, boy! Hollywood can really screw a person up, especially in the golden age. This poor woman had to endure the stress of being in the spotlight all the while dealing with her fucked up realtionship, including her mother. Before Marylin and Jane M, This was the orignal damaged blond. So damaged in fact they had to give her labotomy! She turned out well in the end or so I would assume.
3. Sarah- Leaving Las Vegas

Although you can tell she's already damaged from the beginning because of her seedy profession and dealing with her (now deceased) abusive pimp boyfriend, things turned out to be okay for Sarah once she sees a kindered soul in Ben even though he's an alcoholic. But just as the movie comes to a close, Sarah feels broken yet again after her brutal rape and Ben's death. To cope with the tragic circumstances in her life, She talks to a therapist. Which seems to make a bittersweet ending on her count.

4. The Bride-Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2

Some of you may think she's not that damaged but seeing the way she dispatches her enemies, she's one pissed off woman! When her former lover Bill suddenly snaps and envades her wedding with his deadly viper squad, not only does he put a bullet in her head, he takes away her baby, thinking it was dead all along. Having this much damaged can only make a woman stronger and surely she has. Revenge is the only way she could settle this and she won't stop at nothing to get her way. She maybe damaged but she'll find a way to settle the score. by the end, She finally killed bill and having her precious daughter back, setting off elsewhere as they happily drive to a sunny existence. It may not be the best advice but on the bride's case,  revenge is best served sweet.

5. Sally-The Texas Chainsaw Massacre


Poor, poor Sally. All she ever wanted was to spend a gorgeous summer afternoon with her friends(and brother, Franklin. Ugh!) And take pictures of historical landscapes until somebody had to ruin it all. Having to endure leatherface and his crazy family after her friends have been killed, Sally tries her best to scream her way out of there. Not only is chased by a chainsaw-wielding maniac, she has to deal with his crazy brothers and almost corpse of a grandpa. Bloody and still screaming, she finally escapes this treachous family. But the damaged has already been done to her fragile phycshe, screaming and laughing all the way to the loony bin.

6. Tracy-Thriteen


When you're vulnerable, insecure, and coming of age, it's never really easy being thirteen. Just ask Tracy. She so desprate to fit in with Evie and her pals, with their don't-give-a-shit attitude and risque clothing. So she breaks out of her caged childhood and tries to become a woman. By shoplifting, wearing risque clothing, making out with older guys, having sex with boys, doing drugs, and giving her long-suffering mom a hard time. But this all comes with a price and she cannot handle this sort of lifestyle. Once her mom finds the self-inflicted scars in her arm, she suddenly sees how damaged her daughter has become. She soon kisses her scars and they pick up the pieces in their relationship. This was surely a breakthrough role for Evan Rachel Wood and it shows how she can give a real, natrual performance as a broken teenage girl.

7. Carrie White- Carrie


Speaking of broken teenage girls, Carrie was the mother of them all. Having to go through hardships of being the highschool outcast, dealing with a crazed, religious mother and having telekintic powers she can't control, Carrie White is deeply damaged and inept. Things seem to get better for her when she goes to the prom with her crush Tommy Ross with the help of his girlfriend Sue Snell. Until that Cold-hearted Bitch Chris and her ditzy boyfriend had to ruin it all by throwing a nasty(emphasis on the nasty) prank. Now doused in pig's blood, Carrie finally snaps and gets revenge on her tormenters, including that hateful bitch and her ditzy boyfriend by blowing them to bits. When her crazed mother tries to kill her, Carrie impales her(accidently) trying to save herself. Sadly though, Carrie dies trying to save her already dead mother in the decompsoing house, crashing down on her. But she gets her last and final revenge by haunting Sue Snell's dreams.....Forever!

Laurie Strode-Halloween 2


This is not the same happy, perky Laurie from it's preceedor. Most definitely not. You could clearly sense of at the start of the start of this movie that this girl is deeply damaged. Suffice to say that is not easy being a teenage girl when you have hallucinations and you find out that your brother is a knife-wielding pschopath. When these problems build up , all she can do is go crazy. From the sad look on her face, Laurie Strode is indeed a broken shell of a girl where she literally gets send off to the loony bin.

9. Needy- Jennifer's Body


So much has happened to this girl. Seeing her friend get turned into a man-eating monster and learning HOW her friend got turned into a man-eating monster, can pretty much damage a girl. But it isn't until her one true love gets killed by Jennifer, she suddenly snaps. Just when she suceeds in killing the blood-thirsty Jennifer, poor Needy is put into an insane asylum becoming one of the crazies. but, now that she has new found powers coming from Jennifer, Needy is hellbent on revenge for the ones who started all this mess. and that's the band low shoulder with their douchey lead singer. She teaches them a vaulable lesson by brutally murdering each and every one of them.

10. Lisa-Girl, interuptted


Last but not least, Lisa. That spitfire rebelious Lisa. Unlike the blondes on this list who are sent to the loony bin, Lisa is already in the loony bin at the start of the movie. Her introduction is priceless. Behind her rebelious facade, she is a broken shell of a woman, having lost her best friend to a suicide. She tries her best to outsmart the nurses and bullies the other paients just to get her way, even causing one of them to commit suicide. She tries to do this with Susanna when she suddenly blurts out, "You're already dead, Lisa" She realizes that she is, breaking down in the process. An antagonizing personality softens. Even though she is strapped on a bed, she still hopes to see outside of the world.

So there you have it. I had to give them some sort of ending to their crisises. Some are tragic while some are bittersweet and endearing. But when you're this damaged, you're life is an open book.