Thursday, January 22, 2015

Movie Review: Halloween Resurection

So Moustapha Akkad getting "drunk" off the success of Halloween H20, wanted to produce yet another sequel to the Halloween franchise. Ok, let me get the wind of this, why was this even made at all? What? When? Where? Why? How? Is all I could say. you really want to know, people? It's because of cold, hard green cash. I mean why else a film studio would ruin a franchise for the sake of box office draw.
There...there was just no reason for this movie to be made. In H20, I thought that chapter in Laurie's life was closed. In the end, she won, she conquered. That's how it was going to be. But these idiot studio execs just wanted to juice out a another for no good reason. Where to go from here, exactly? And yes, guys, I am going to rant the hell out of this.
Okay, say what you will about the curse of Michael Myers, there was at least a purpose for making it. There was actually a cliffhanger In Halloween 5 to continue on with that. H20, however, DIDN'T have a cliffhanger. In my eyes, and hopefully everyone else's, the saga was finished. The only purpose this movie has is to put stupid teenagers in the Myers' house so Michael could hack through all of them. That's basically the movie in a nutshell. But please, let me get through this, I have so much to talk about in the next few minutes.
The Story: A group of fame-seeking, money-grubbing idiotic college students decide to sign on a reality show in which they explore the Myers house, only to find themselves at the business end of the kitchen knife from Michael Myers' grip.

The cast is annoying and bland as all hell. Do you think these characters are more interesting than Laurie? Really? They're just your pointless, good-looking, run-of-the-mill horror movie characters. A big empty blanks waiting to get filled in for plot circumstances.

First, let me start with Laurie as she is the only character that's interesting at all. And furthermore, her exit from the series is what really pissed me off about the movie. So apparently,  she is now in a mental hospital. You want to know why? Well here we have a massively confusing plot thread to explain it all.

You see towards the end of the last movie, Michael somehow crushed a paramedic's vocal cord which rendered his speech and switched his clothes and so Laurie mistaken him as Michael and chopped the paramedic's head off. This is explained by a nurse at a hospital who, for some reason, knew all of the details of this. Was she there when that happened? Who knows? You see how lazy the writing is getting? but it gets worst.
After clumsily killing two security officers (and I do question why they have such a short staff but oh well), Michael goes after Laurie but, of course, she outwits him and then they have an elaborate chase scene. Soon they are up at the balcony where Laurie uses her smarts and hangs Michael up in a rope. But for some reason, the script causes her to do something stupid which prompts her to reach out and grabs Michael's mask, only for her to get stabbed in the back.

 Yes, that's right, Michael finally kills Laurie. This pissed me the fuck off. I felt that Laurie Strode was such a iconic character, I hate that she had to go out this way or go out at all. Killing off Laurie was such a cop-out on the filmmakers' end.

Poor Jamie Lee Curtis just seems so worn out and tired of it all, that she almost agreed to have the character killed off. I hate the writer for making this decision but then again, Jamie Lee Curtis is too much of a good actress to be in this shit pile that is a called a movie.
So pretty much all of the important characters from the Halloween franchise are dead. Michael has technically won. So how the story will continue? Where will it take place? Who are going to be the new main characters to be invested in? Oh god. Brace yourselves, people. It's a bunch of bland, good-looking college students who wants to be on T.V. You kill off a kickass character like Laurie for us to focus on these idiots. Wow. But trust me guys, I will run through this like water because character development is not on their résumé:

Let's see what is so interesting about Sarah? got nothin'. Her story arc revolves around this guy she meets online, who turns out to be a sophomore in high school. So basically, this is used as a plot device later in the climax of the movie.

That's pretty much the importance of her character. She tries to come off as this shy, good girl but the actress is just not convincing enough to be believable. There is just no personality to her whatsoever. A small plank of wood would replace her and nothing would change.

Deckard is, like I said before, is a plot device. Most of his scenes just have him in front of the computer with a group of friends while trying to save Sarah from Michael.

Jen is Sarah's ditzy blond best friend....that's her character. She's a ditz...that is all. Katee Sackhoff is now a better and well-known actress. So it's likely she'll forget that this was one of her earlier film roles.

Sean Patrick Thomas is in this movie but I totally forgot his character's name but then again who cares.

Thomas Ian Nicholas was riding high off of the success of American Pie, who would've thought he would end up in a low-brow slasher movie like this? hmm. I also don't remember the character's name or remember the character himself. Wow. You see how forgettable these character's are? But oh no, I'm not done yet kiddies. I am just reaching the top of the iceberg.

Donna and Jim are just your clichéd hot couple that can't keep their hands off each other. I mean what's more there to say?

I can't believe Tyra Banks of all people is in this movie. Who would've thought that she would later host a successful reality show in a year later? Basically, all she does in the movie is shake her ass, sip on cappuccino, drink wine, and get hung on a ceiling. So her role was nothing more than glorified cameo, of course. What a waste.

And now I present to you the most annoying, most despicable, most loathed character in horror film history, Freddie Harris played by Busta Rhymes. I guess the reason why he was cast in this was to appeal to teenagers. But let's be honest here, I just don't think he's that great of an actor. Not only that but we have to deal with the over-the-top antics of the character Freddie. By the way, Busta Rhymes is quite the scene stealer. I'm talkin Matthew McConaughey in TCM 4 scene stealer. This guy chews every scene he's in and it just gives me a headache. Okay, I would like to call out this one mundane scene where Michael and once he runs into the real Michael Myers, thinking he's a crew member, Freddie yells at him. You want to know what Michael does? Nothing! he lets this guy yell at him for about a minute and walks off. Is this a comedy? Is this what It gears towards?

Now to put more salt into the wound, Freddie turns out to be the hero of the movie. Okay, why is this character so special? he was originally supposed to die in the alternate ending of the movie and Deckard save Sarah but for some reason the test audiences like the character and rooted for him to live. Seriously? Can I say that the test audiences are idiots? This guy is nothing but a money-grubbing, self-entitled, manipulative jerk. Do you really think that qualifies as a hero? in a horror movie, no less? Okay to make this short, Freddie is probably the worst things in this movie.

Oh dear god, Michael. Just as he got his mojo back in the last movie, Michael has turn back into a typical white-washed standard slasher villain. It's almost to the point of being a comic relief. I really shouldn't be saying that but if you get kung-fued by Busta Rhymes of all people, then you might as well be a cartoon character.

Speaking of cartoon character, do you see the new mask they put on him? What's with the eyebrows? it's like they drawn them on with magic markers. By far the worst mask I've seen in the franchise. Sorry there's just not much to say about Michael. He's pretty much derailed at this point and this pretty much dampened his legacy.
I have no idea Rick Rosenthal, who I thought did a good job in Halloween 2, agreed to direct this movie. I just feel he's too good for this.

Half of the scenes are shown in found footage and it's extremely distracting. All of the suspense in this movie is lost because they keep going back and forth at some stupid teen party all the while showing the movie in found footage style in different camera angles. There is no point into being invested at all, you just have to stare at the screen until it's over. And don't get me started on the "practical" effects. Here's a demonstration:


And most of the movie was set in soundstage, so in that particular scene where Freddie kicks Michael out of the window, you can clearly see the stage ceiling high up. The movie's budget was 13 million dollars. 13 MILLION!
Now for some Trivia, I guess:

  • Jamie Lee Curtis yet again wears a wig with Rick Rosenthal in the director's chair while the opening scene is set in a hospital. It's the same scenario in Halloween 2. But I'll tell you one good thing about this, at least they gave her better looking wig.

  • Part of the genesis of the film was to acknowledge the franchise internet following.

  • The filmmakers once asked Danielle Harris to have a role in the movie but it never came into fruition.

  • The earlier scripts had a  lot promise, especially the ones involving John Tate but for some reason they choose this one with a stupid internet subplot and Freddie Harris kung-fuing Michael Myers.

  • Brad Loree once auditioned for the role of Jason in Freddy Vs. Jason.

  • This movie was supposed to have a completely new story, just like what they did in Halloween 3. But for SOME REASON the fans petitioned an internet rally to bring back Michael Myers. Well guys, you got what you wanted and I'm sorry to say this but you're at fault for this.
What a trainwreck of a movie. It's just sad that the movie series ended on with this. Ugh, I mean all it is is just a piece of crap. It's also hilariously painful to watch, even more so than Part 5 and Part 6 combined. And you want to know what's even more sad is that this was Moustapha Akkad's last produced Halloween movie. This is the movie that put in a nail in the coffin for the series until the obvious Rob Zombie reboot. But for me, I will just wipe my mind off of this. Pretend that this never been made or existed for that  matter. In my eyes, this movie is left in the bargain pile of garbage, never to be seen.
My Last Word: Avoid at all cost.


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