Thursday, January 8, 2015

Movie Review: Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers

After the poor reception of Halloween 5, it took 6 years for Moustapha Akkad to come up with a new concept and since part 5 left with a cliffhanger, there had to be some resolution no matter how dumb it may be.
Boy, this movie was a mess from start to finish. Rewrites, Reshoots, Script changes, recasting, renewal, etc. I mean the list goes on. I can't even fathom on how this movie got made at all. But if it wasn't for that fucking ending from Halloween 5, we would have the contrived piece of crap that is The Curse Of Michael Myers. The curse? really?
I'm sorry but there is no reason I'm suppose to explain the story because of just how confusing and mundane it is. So I'm gonna rant the hell out of this, prepare yourself guys.

Let's see what do I think about the cast? I'll just put it simply.....the acting sucks, that's all I got to say. Probably the only decent performers is Donald Pleasance, even though his presence  is completely wasted, and Marianne Hagan, I guess, she's not the best actress in the world but at least she has some passion into her performance I give her that.

Which leads to Kara Strode. I'm sorry, there is just no purpose to her character and the family for that matter. So they live in the Myers house, so what? But apparently that's a big plot point since it triggers Michael telepathically to know someone is living under his former residence. It's just my theory.

So all I know about Kara is she's an unwed mother going through college, trying to deal with her asshole father, and the fact their family is living under a serial killer's house. That's it. That's all I got. You see how wasted these characters are?
But I'm not done yet, let's focus on her stupid family. I don't know where the start, really but let's get this asshole out of the way:

John Strode. Ugh. By far the worst character in the movie.
First, he moves his family in the Myers house without them knowing it. And second, he's just an all around absolute son of a bitch, pretty much  treating his family like crap. This also applies to how he's written. He's just a cold, heartless bastard to almost cartoonish levels. And it's only the result of one of the most over-the-top(yet satisfying) death scene:
It's not subtle but it's pretty damn worth it.

Debra Strode can come off as an complete idiot. She's supposed to be this doe-eyed put upon housewife but there is just no sympathy for her. And I would LOVE to know what she ever saw in John but who knows? I don't think she knows either to be honest. It doesn't help matters that she's played by Kim Darby, a once promising actress who's now derailed into playing low-rent roles and now cast in a really shitty slasher film. And the acting? Terrible! A deer caught in a freakin' headlights. Such a shame.

Oh god, I seriously do not want to talk about Kara's annoying younger brother and his even more annoying girlfriend, who is a totally bad actress by the way. Oh yeah, I did mention the acting in this movie is bad about three times already but you see where I'm going with this, right? that's all I got to say about them. Just an annoying pair to have sex and be killed.

Okay, it's time to talk about Jamie, who is now played by J.C. Brandy, a completely new actress. Do I like this change? hell no! And not only is the character wasted but she is unceremoniously killed off. Danielle Harris was pretty psyched to play the Jamie character again but once she read the script, she's like "what the hell is this?" and backed out of the project because of how Jamie was treated, not so much a money issue as some rumors claimed to be. What they should've done was made Jamie an important main character again, drop the whole thorn cult bullshit (I'll still get to that) and just focus on Jamie struggling with her demons and facing Michael again, which they would eventually do with Laurie Strode in the next film but it had more potential in this movie which all went downhill sadly. If that would've come into play, Danielle Harris could've went on board with it.

Oh god, Tommy Doyle.....Do I? Do I really have to say anything about this character and why the hell he has any relevance to the story at all? Sure it's cool to bring back characters from the first movie but now he has grown to be a creepy weirdo. It just the things he does like peeping in on Kara while she's getting undressed, breaking into her house, they way he stares into space like he's on drugs, etc. I question why is this guy the hero of the movie. Not only the writing of the character bad but Paul Rudd's acting is just terrible. This was back in his Clueless heyday and he's usually a good actor but oh my god, was he trying to go shakesphere on us? you just got to see it to believe it. It's a truly laughably bad performance. But it only stem from the fact that Paul Rudd didn't give a shit and rightfully so. When you read a script as awful as this, you can't help but bring in a bad performance.

Poor, Poor, Poor Donald Pleasance. A truly great actor that was the heart and soul of the franchise is sidelined to what seems to be a glorified cameo at this point. To make matters worse, this was his last film before his death. I hate to even think he died with this film in his name. Ugh, there is just no point.

What's even more frustrating with tis is that you  have interesting characters like Jamie and Dr. Loomis, only to  have them sidelined to focus on minor characters we don't even know at all. Like Dr. Wynn. So what? Is he like the new villain of the movie? I don't get it. But apparently, he is revealed to be the Man In Black from Part 5. Wow, what a stupid twist. You see where the writing is going right now? seriously? But it gets even stupider. It turns out that he is the leader of organization called The Thorn Cult who would recruit a chosen one to sacrifice their siblings for....whatever. So that makes Michael the chosen one.

Which leads us to Michael. Okay, here is the biggest main problem I have with this movie, there shouldn't be some mystical exposition  of his murderous rampage. What made the first film so great was that there was no rhyme or reason for the things he does. It wasn't magical or supernatural, it was psychological. This is how this sequel misses the point. I understand writer Daniel Farrands was passionate about this but the whole thorn revelation doesn't make any sense but how the director approaches this terrible concept makes it even worse by the climax. The whole thorn subplot is completely dropped, each member is killed, including Dr. Wynn, and Michael trollies along trying to hack at his last victims. And by the way, that's all Michael does really. He is a generic slasher villain. through the course of part 4, part 5, and this movie, I can't help but compare him to Jason Voorhees. The way he murders people are over-the-top and extremely brutal. There is just no suspense at all. And the way he's used as a tool for this stupid thorn organization is also a downer. Lastly, the mask is....alright I guess. It's nothing special but it's at least better than the masks used for Part 4 and 5.
Let me just crack this all down, the director didn't give a crap. nobody did actually. Which is why this movie fell apart. But the juiciest part of the behind the scenes mishaps is the notorious Producer's Cut. Some fans praised it but maybe because of the filled-in plot holes, however, it still doesn't make the movie any better. If you ever get a chance to see this version of the film, look out for the ridiculous climax and a plot twist  where it turns out that MICHAEL was the one who impregnated his teenage niece! how fucking disgusting. Whoever wrote that should be slapped. It baffles me that this version should get this much praise when it should've much of the backlash as the final cut of the film.
What else can I say? it's a mess of a film. There was no reason for that  shitty ending in Part 5, nor the Man In Black, or The Thorn Cult concept. It all adds up into a pile of shit. with shitty acting, shitty directing, and shitty writing.
Just a waste of time.
My Last Word: All I can say is.....Garbage.


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