J.D's Top Ten Witches

I am so proud to present to you my Top Ten Badass Witches. Some are good....Some are bad...Some are just....a little rough around the edges. But some are intelligent, strong, compentent and, of course, powerful. Now let's start with the list shall we?

1. Sarah Bailey- The Craft

Sarah starts off as a shy girl with a troubled, hidden past who embarks on a new enviromment from San Francisco to Los Angeles. That's when She meets Nancy and her crew. New to Witchcraft, She is scared and intimidated, But once she learns of her true self, she becomes strong and relisent. Sarah was the true witch in the game while the others stood by in all her glory. And that makes her number #1. Which makes this one right here on.....

Nancy- The Craft

A little at the bottom first. This Badass has a take no charge approach which mixes in her addictive personality. Coming from a dysfunctional household, she changes all that by getting as much power as she can by having money and her integrity under her belt, along with being a pyschotic bitch. Jealous of Sarah and her newfound wisdom, vengefully, she tries to do what she thinks is the right thing to do: Get Rid Of Sarah. Sadly, she fails at that game and her powers are striped away, making her crazy-eyed and delusional in a mental institution. Which is why Sarah's the first best. Sorry Nancy, you can't take your powers for granted.

2. The Halliwell Sisters-Charmed

Spunky, Charming, Fiesty, Sexy and Independent. These Three(later four) young witches had to learn the hard way of juggling their normal lives and their witchy duties by mid point. Through all the setbacks, heartbreaks, tradgies, and evil-doers, they will always find a way to get back at their feet. These sister witches sure know how to put the capital G in girl power.

3.Willow Rosenberg-Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Sweet, Smart, Lovable Willow. To be honest, She is one of the most beloved characters on the show. Even more memorable than Buffy I assume. I'm just saying. This brainy redhead is also a raging lesbian. Witchcraft and Lesbianism....That's a good combanation. She was first a shy, kinda geeky girl with low social skills but once the Powers That Be came along, she graced out of high school, a fearless, intellectual strong-willed lesbian. And proud of it!

4. Kiki-Kiki's Delivery Service

She is the most cutest, adorable witch you could ever find. She's even nice enough to deliver food to you if you need any. When you reach the rightful age of 13, it's never easy, even when your only ability as a witch is flying broomsticks. And that takes a lot of process. But once she goes through all the setbacks and obstacles, she becomes a confident, well-adjusted young witch with her whole life ahead of her. We're still rooting for you, Kiki.

5. Alex, Sukie, and Jane- The Witches of Eastwick

Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. It's the classic trope in form, especially from a witch trio. This Fearless Threesome are not only crafty in the Powers That Be, but are played by the fabulous Cher, the saucy Michelle Phiffer and the ever-so-charming Susan Sarandon. At first, they seem like your normal, everday women with their day-to-day get-togethers with a dose of martini on the side. Their usual topic of dicussion is about men. And once they describe a little too much about the perfect man, the witches conjur up a unknown creature named Darryl Van Horne. Not knowing of their powers at first, Darryl helps them through with the power of love(or sex, if you can see it that way). Ravished with the finer things in life, it soon comes with a price when someone gets hurt. Darryl seems to be the cause of it. And when there's a problem you solve it. And boy do these witches get to work! after getting rid of the slimeball from hell, they soon found out that they did it on their own. They didn't need a man to realize their powers. They needed to realize it for themselves. That's what makes them a great team. Its all about Girl Power! Who runs Eastwick? These witches do! also on this number.....

The Sanderson Sister-Hocus Pocus

Yet another Blonde, Brunette, Redhead trio. This consist of the headstrong Winifred, The ditzy Sarah, and the goofy Mary. Back in the middle ages or whatever, they were feared and loathed by townspeople but once they're transported in the 20th century, their days of hellraising have wavered a little just because you know.....it's the 90's. Now that they're chasing around a new age of kids, The Sanderson Sisters are not as scary as they assume to be. They're quite.....amusing. They're actually the most funniest villians in disney history. They could be scary to little kids but do you really think that they're scary to older kids? A definite no. I give props to Bette Milder, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy for their awesome performances.

6. Ginny Weasely, Hermonie Granger, and Luna Lovegood- Harry Potter Saga

If you see these three witches in the same room together, they would make a very interesting trio. You have the Shy but Spunky Ginny, the Intelligent but Fiesty Hermonie, the Sweet but Spacey Luna. Once you team up this unique trio, it'll be like a match made in hogwarts heaven. Special Note: I'm planning on making a comic book adaption of this marvelous trio. P.S. They're american in this version.....

7. Sabrina Spellman-Sabrina The Teenage Witch

Smart, Funny, Likeable. There are so many words to describe this loveable blonde. The reason for her sunny attitude.....She's a witch but it comes with a lot baggage as well. It's not always easy being a teenager, and it's  not always easy being a witch. Schoolwork, mean girls, boys, magic.....the girl got a handful. but in the end with her perky, bubbly existence, any problem can be solved when Sabrina's around.

8. The White Witch-The Chronicles Of Narnia

Cold, Treachous, Manipultive. She is definitely an Ice Queen. No, scratch that. LITERALLY an ice queen. Her heart is as cold as ice could come. And just for certain, she has some kind of questionable attraction towards Edmund. Can I say cougar? Just because she a highly ice queen, doesen't mean she is as strong as you think she is, judging her thin frame. She'll kill you in seconds. She would if she could. You don't wanna mess with this nasty diva. If you do, you'll get what's coming for you.

9. Ursula The Sea Witch- The Little Mermaid

Yet another nasty diva on the list. This isn't exactly the actual picture of Ursula, But if they make a live action adaptation of The Little Mermaid, It would be badass right? This heartless monster would manipulate an innocent teenage girl if she feels like it. Matched with her larger than life form, she is the true HBIC of the dark sea. If you cross this biosterious gorgon, you might get squashed.

10. Sally and Gillian Owens-Practical Magic

These are just your friendly neighborhood witches who would do anything to look out for each other.....even kill a man. but don't worry, they are as harmless as a bunny rabbit. You have the calm, motherly Sally and the adventurous, free-spirited Gillian. They are played by none-other-than my favorite actresses in the world. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman! When it comes to magic with these two, it's all about the power of family and sisterhood. Right on, Sister Witches!

And there you have it, My Top Ten Favorite Witches. Of course witches are always my favorite topic. Good, Bad, Smart, and Beautiful, There will always be a kickass witch on my next list. Special note: Watch out for The Secret Circle This Fall. Can't wait til it comes out!

Movie Review: Hostel Part 2

I really have nothing against this movie, although it's themes are somewhat misogynistic and it does feel like a rehash of the first movie but with a little more story to it this time. This was right around the time where torture porn was losing it's way and people really didn't give a shit anymore. With all the countless Saw films and the poor reception of  the movie Captivity, the genre was already dead in it's tracks. So Eli Roth gave one more try with this sequel.
Now on with the story: It's about three girls who decide to take a break from art school studies in Paruge. They meet up with a beautiful model who persuade them to go to a hostel in svehlova for some R+R, little do they know, they are set up to be torture dolls for two business men who won a bet on them. Can they escape before it's too late?
The story is much more better than the original. Sue me for saying that but it is. We get deep into the story, learning about the evil corparation and their motives in which the first film got more into the mystery of it.
The acting has more stronger performances and more sympatheic characters. Lauren German as Beth....Two words: BADASS! I was completely surprised by her performance. She is the sole reason this movie was decent. For now, she is one of my top final girls. Heather Marazzo as Lorna, just broke my heart when she died horribly. It's just so heart-wrenching to see a sweet girl like Lorna died the way she did. Just like Eli Roth did with adorable Josh, he did the same to poor Lorna. Plus, I don't see why Heather Marazzo gets typecasted as the geek. She's a beautiful girl and should get more spicer roles. Bijou Phillips as Whitney on the other hand, is a firecracker. Yeah, Whitney can be a little bitchy and little flightly, but that makes her all the more loveable. I cringed too when she got tortured. Not really tortured but she did got half of her brain cut off. Which is pretty much the most grossiest, goreist, bloodiest thing i seen from the film. How she died was even more frightening, just by not showing how she died, made it more scarier. What's even more scarier was Roger Bart. Yeah, Richard Burgi always was cast in these asshole roles but that's what he's good at. the twist is, his character is just an asshole, not a killer. Let's get down to the real kick here. Roger Bart as Stuart was a truly believeable performance. We really get deep into his pysche and see why the way he is. Of course, he starts out as a nice guy but ultimately we see his true colors at the end. Which is pretty damn scary.
The film is much more bloodier and goreier than the first, mixed in with the intense suspenseful scenes, it kind of keeps your heart pumping. What's really different about this is that the main characters are decent this time and much more....level-headed than the male leads in the first hostel. I just can't help but care and sympathize more with the female leads because you know what....GIRLS FUCKING RULE! you can ask Beth for that. She got more balls than puny old Paxton ever had!
Although the torture porn genre died along with this movie, it's pretty decent if you look at a different way but just like I said with the first one it could settle down for just an ok.
My Last word: Watch this movie for Beth and Beth only. The girl totally knows how to work a garden shear.

Movie Review: Hostel

To be honest, This wasn't one of my favorite films. I'm not really a big fan of torture porn as it takes off the anticipation of the suspense of what's to come. The pacing is all wrong, the story doesn't get anywhere and the characters you start to wear off on you, although it's a bit cringe-worthy to experience their pain. Hostel is quite different. The story is interesting and keeps the movie going yet the pacing is still quite slow as we focus on the "needed" character development. And the part about where you care about the characters you grow to love? Well, sadly the case is not here. I do of course care for one of them only for that person to die brutally the first go around. Obviously the biggest douchebag is the main character who supposed to fill the hero role. I'll get to all that later.
Here's the story:  A trio of friends decided to go to a hostel for some R+R, unbeknowst to them they are set up by sadistic company who pays people to torture them.
That was kind of a short but simple story right? It dosen't really get into the action until second half of the movie although it adds some creppy moments up to that point. Most of the atmosphere and shots of the film is pretty engaging, if only the story would've strecthed out more and had...let's say more sympatheic characters than it should have. But I think that was the point. For people to actually enjoy these sleazy characters to be tortured or killed in some horrific way. It's the standard horror movie trifecta: The Jerk Gets It. But here's where they break the rules a bit, the biggest jerk gets to live. Again, how interesting.
The acting is pretty good. Jay Hernandez was superb. Yeah, his character is kind of douchey but you really get to emphatize his fear of what's happening to him and around him, which makes his character a little sympathetic by his intense performance. Speaking of sympathetic, my heart went out to Derek Richardson. His death was by far the most scariest yet saddest. Josh was actually the more nicer of the two guys and he wasn't even much of a horndog either because he was trying to get over a breakup. But sadly, we the audience get to see how brutally he dies in which it wasn't kind of fair. But hey it's what the filmmakers make right?
The supense scenes were downright scary and tense, which will have you at the edge of your seat a little bit. I'm not saying the movie is scary, it's not. It just does a good job at rising up the boiling point. To add something else, if you're expecting a gore-fest you'll be a dissappointed. There is little gore in the movie. Yeah, there are gross stuff but don't expect any more.
Like I said, I'm not a big fan of torture porn. Now-a-days it has wear off over it's head with the pointless Saw franchise and other copy-cats. But this film focuses on the story if you look beyond the characters and how it reaches to it's point of no return. It isn't really my kind of film. Maybe guy's movie since it has it's fair share of nudity and blood(a little if you count that.) Other than that, it's now forgettable as it's not much of a buzz anymore.
My last word: It has a good story, but not something to remember by.