Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.
The 1988 teen comedy Heathers was one of my favorite movies as a kid. Winona Ryder was at the top of her game and I was gradually a fan of hers.
The thing about the movie was that it wasn't you're typical happy-go-lucky 80's teen comedy. It was pretty dark in some places. It actually had THEMES. Suicide, teen angst, depression, corruption. Heathers is probably the best-written teen comedy of that decade and it's truly an all-time classic.
Come to my surprise that the Columbia TV streaming service is making a television series and judging by the trailer, not a good one at that.
Now what makes the original memorable is the insatiable witty dialogue in which this show fails to match. It just seems so forced and the jokes fall flat.
What they also did differently was cram in a lot of SJW agenda. The Heathers in the original was your typical hot cosmopolitan-type of girls. In this version, the main Heather is an overly confident plus-sized girl, the second Heather is a gossipy gay guy, and the third Heather is an African-American Lesbian. This could work if it was executed well. Yes, I do see potential in this, I mean what if the main Heather was this bullied girl who suddenly became popular by chance and uses her newly found puberty by showing off her hips, curves, and sexuality to get her way. But no, pretty much all of the Heathers are portrayed as obnoxious and don't seem like complexed characters.
And as for the two leads, they are tragically bland and does not match the charisma of Winona Ryder. Very, very poor choices.
Just the thought of making a series out of this just seems way out of bounds. How can you make a day to day story arc from a simplistic plot like Heathers? It just doesn't fit. And If this has a second season, where to go from here?
All I have to say is it's just a TV show with the same name. Nothing more, nothing less.
Just by the trailer, I don't recommend this.
Boy, this was a stinker. When I first looked at this trailer, I literally thought I was watching a parody of a Prime Time Soap. Not only the thought of remaking Dynasty was uncalled for, but the sheer over-the-top, cliched feel of the show makes it even worse. I don't know what the hell is going with CW but their content is really shitty. Hell, they're much better running cheesy comic book superhero shows than TV dramas. And what boggles me even more, is that this terrible show is getting a third season! How the hell did they manage that!
Okay, let's examine the original. The OG Dynasty is not a perfect show by any means but at least it was entertaining. The show also had this fine majesty to it. The cinematography, the music, the fashion, it was absolutely beautiful to soak in. There was no way you can make a show like Dynasty now, it's the epitome of the 80's. It was made for that decade. Though the show that we have now is a typical, generic potboiler with amateur writing.
And yes, I do love Nicolette Sheridan but I just don't see her as Alexis.
I feel like Joan Collins is the only actress in the world that could play such a role. Hell, she was the one who made the original what it is now. So how can another actress replicate that?
Anywho, I'll probably talk more about this show in the future as the first two seasons are on Netflix. But don't think twice that I'll just hop on it immediately. This show is not on my radar and I'll only look at it just to warn to AVOID THIS.
Gosh, I don't know if it's people running out of ideas or this seems to be the norm now. There's one thing to remake movies but to remake tv shows is wholly unnecessary. All three of these reboots are based on proprieties that were practically over twenty-some years ago. It's not that long you guys.
But anywho, these are the shows that I'll look over, which in my opinion comes off like stale copycats of much better source material but I'll save all my negatives for each contained reviews. For right now I'm just focusing on the trailers. Maybe in a lifetime, I'll watch an episode or two of these shows but it is gonna be a while and I might have to be in a certain mood to watch them. There are just not appealing to me, however, I'm willing to be a martyr for my work, so maybe in the next year, I'll give you my word. Here I present to you, the reviews on display...
I am happy to announce that is finally published. I have been working on this for years, so I should have a good pat on the back for the hard work. This is the first in a series of books, so keep a look out for the second one by the end of this year. Be sure to check out Manhattan Girls on:
Kobo
Amazon.com
Barnes and Noble Nook
Long time, no see. So in the wake of the sequel coming out on July 20, Here is the review of Unfriended:
Boy, this was a real stinker. I'm not usually a fan of found-footage movies, but I do tend to enjoy the more atmospheric ones such as The Blair Witch Project. I'm not a huge, huge fan of that movie but I do appreciate the effort by the filmmakers. As for this movie, most of it takes place in skype form. It's a pretty neat concept if it's done with great acting and interesting characters. But unfortunately, it doesn't have that.
Throughout eighty minutes of this movie, we have to deal with the most unpleasant protagonists ever put on film. I know this movie is trying to project the dangers of cyberbullying yet it's done in the most over-the-top way. The kids never get to act like human beings. So what, are teenagers just apathetic? devoid of any emotion?
Nobody is sympathetic, the chain of events unfold like a shitty teen drama, the deaths are silly, the acting is atrocious. It just astounds me how much praise this movie has gotten.
The Story: A group of narcissistic, sociopathic teens are being haunted by a ghost while on a live Skype chat. That ghost reveals herself to be a girl they tormented into suicide a year ago, turning the tables and taking the lives of each perpetrator one by one.
The cast was not so great. Look, I don't mind having unlikeable characters in horror films unless you give them just one ounce of humanity for the audience to empathize with them. But I'm honestly telling you guys, these characters are borderline sociopaths. Not only that but they are blandly written. They are just your everyday typical teenage stock horror characters: you have the main girl and her boyfriend, the aggressive jock, the dumb blond, the mean girl and the goofball. That's it. Not only they are horrible but they are just plain uninteresting.
First, you have Val (pictured in them in the middle), who is the bitchy one in the group. All she pretty much does throughout the whole skype conversation is scowl at the camera and act petty. She and Laura had the most beef since they were very competitive against each other. So of course, she was the one who told Laura to kill herself, not that that was the final blow or anything but it did cause a boomerang effect on her end.
Then you have Kenny (pictured left), the jokester of the group, who is also known to be a drug dealer. Geez, what else is new. He shows absolutely no remorse over Laura Barnes' suicide and even after her death, he still clowns her. See what I mean, the sociopath level is getting at a high here.
Adam is the typical hothead jock of the group, who has a habit of date-raping girls on the side. How quaint.
We soon find out that Adam had a little rendezvous with his friend's girlfriend and not at all apologetic. He has no indoor voice and is constantly waving his gun around to prove his fragile male ego.
Tess is the superficial vapid ditz, who seems to be obsessed with flat ironing her hair. Not only is she a notorious gossip who spread rumors about her friend's eating disorder, she also was the one who defaced Laura Barnes' grave, which is a bit extreme, even for a teen bully. She is quite the kleptomaniac, as it is revealed that she stole $800 from Adam, who she supposedly has a crush on. Okay, first of all, who the hell would have $800 dollars laying around and secondly, how the hell would she have excess to that kind of money? Is she some sort of super hacker or something?
And then we have Mitch, the main character's boyfriend. Since his dear o'l buddy Adam seems to have a love of guns, Mitch has something of a knife fetish. Soon, Laura's ghost exposes him for making out with her at a party while supposedly in a relationship with Claire, which is why he decided to bully Laura along everybody else to get off the hook. Not only that, but he frames his best friend by planting drugs in his car. Wow, these kids are all and out criminals, it's a miracle they're not in a jail cell.
Now it's finally time to save the worst for last. Claire, our 'lovely' protagonist. Oh my god, where to begin? Oh and this is also a spoiler warning, so get prepared:
She is the real culprit in the humiliation of Laura Barnes, thus putting the blame on her so-called friends. On top of that, she cheated on her boyfriend (whom she was saving her virginity to) with his best friend Adam. Her only explanation for this is...it was an accident. How fucking dumb is this girl? what, did she 'accidentally' fell on his penis? lol. It also seems that she doesn't know how to program a computer when it's obvious that she literally spends all her time on social media, even though she has no clue how an anti-virus software works. Our final girl, ladies and gentlemen.
But the high level of stupidity happens when a friend is in trouble. Instead of calling the police like a normal person, she decides to go on chat roulette and make a complete fool of herself. God, how I wanted to smack this girl in the face for being so idiotic. And even after all her friends die, she still proceeds to lie and not fess up. What else does this girl have to lose? Can she be less of a terrible person if her life depends on it?
Okay, let's focus on the directing and suspense, which is pretty lackluster. Although I liked at least one scene in the movie involving this weird esoteric website the characters stumbling across, most of it is just click and point scenes of a teenage girl surfing the web, chatting with her friends, and browsing on social media. A lot of facebook and youtube product placement in this movie. I just found most of the directing boring to be honest.
I find the death scenes to be pretty laughable and poorly executed. Yeah, they're incredibly gory but it's horribly staged at the point of being borderline fake. And just like I said, most of the suspense seems to be focused on Claire's lack of technical skills when it comes to computer engineering. Will Claire be able to get rid of the virus on time? Oh no!
There's just nothing else I can say about this movie. It's pretty much a time waster and there's nothing inventive about it all. It's a dumb teen horror that seems to use social media as a way to get bucks at the box office, nothing more, nothing less.
My Last Word: Don't waste your time on this piece of crap. I highly doubt the sequel would be anything noteworthy either.
Wow, I can't believe it's almost been a year. Where to start? From months on in, I've been working extra hard on my first novel. And trust me, the process is grueling. Time seems to stray away when you're working on a project. I mean, gosh, it's been like twelve years now that my book is finally accomplished. During July or so, I was planning to do a movie review of Unfriended but there was a lot of growing pains in the way. Getting my life together, getting my career together, getting my sanity together, and planning the seeds of what to come.
So here my future plans in the hereafter:
Hellraiser series review
The Love Witch review
Misery film essay
Witches of Eastwick review
Riverdale review
Book reviews
I know it's a little bit too late in the game for this but I had to get this out somehow. So there is a new Ghostbusters movie coming out sometime in July and everybody's response is...not so good. In my opinion, rightfully so.
The original Ghostbusters and it's sequel was what I grew up with, and to repeat the same beats again is just uncalled for.
Although I'm a fan of Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig, I just don't see them saving this movie. They are good actresses, it's only the material that wans their performances down.
When I saw the trailer, I was like, "Been there, done that." It's the same movie but with a female cast.
Director Paul Feig was the one who pitched this movie, and considering Sony, who's known for cashing in reboots, ok'd the idea...That's when the backlash began.
Everyone was pissed off about this, even so far than to have over 500,000 dislikes on the trailer from Youtube. There were even Twitter meltdowns from both director and the actors. Not to mention behind the scenes drama on the set with some of the actors disagreeing with Paul Feig over the poor script and having disdain over how the film is coming out. Sony even bribed half of the cast members in the original to cameo in this movie. Even going so far to sue Bill Murray if he refused. Yeah, it's that fucked up.
All this leads up to me, having the sinking feeling that this movie is going to bomb. HARD.
By the way, if you guys are curious to the movie, just watch the trailer and read the script or Paul Feig's pitch to Sony, There's your whole movie right there. It's all downhill from there. Predictable, by the numbers plot.
Ok, back to the trailer. The jokes were lame, the characters were the same, and the effects were 'meh.' It didn't get me excited (which I'm not anyway) but hell that goes for any trailer. It's like I watched the whole movie, which would spare me my time, no less.
And then there's the introduction of major hottie Chris Hemsworth. Although he's nice to look at, I feel like he's going to be wasted in this beefcake role. He supposed to be a composite of Jainie Melnlitz and the Sigourney Weaver character, which is so tired in my opinion.
As for the rest of the cast, I don't know. Leslie Jones and Kate McKinnon are just not funny to me. Their jokes felt forced and how they were portrayed was clearly taken out of their really mediocre Saturday Night Live sketches and I don't even watch the recent Saturday Night Live anymore.
Just so you know, this movie is going to fail. There's nothing to fall back on. Nothing original or fresh in our minds. It's the same tired old bullshit that I see in comedies these days. I mean there was a Ghostbusters 3 in the making, everybody was on board with it, along with a expanded universe and new characters but it fell through and Sony said, "Fuck it, we'll just remake it.
I'm all for Girl Power but this isn't the way to go. If there was a Ghostbusters 3, you can have the original cast along with Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy. You can have Kristen Wiig played this kooky, quirky psychic who sees ghosts and have Melissa McCarthy as an expert on the paranormal, much like her character in this film. But no, it's far too late and far too wasted to come up with a cool concept like that. And it goes to show that Hollywood is clearly running out of ideas. What a sad state we all must live in.
So those are my thoughts. There is an agree to disagree, however, I do not stand by or support this movie.
