About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Movie Review: Friday The 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan




When I saw this title. I told myself: Okay, now they are seriously running out of ideas. I get why, after seven films revolving around Crystal Lake that they needed to do something differently. So the filmmakers had to stretch out a little more and bring Jason out of it's comfort zone. So since Crystal Lake is in New Jersey, why not take him to the big apple. Was it a bad idea at the time? Eh, at least it wasn't in space or anything, though unfortunately, 13 years later, they eventually did a Jason in space movie. Ugh.
So here is Friday The 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan and it's considered the worst. To be honest, I didn't think the movie was that awful. Don't get me wrong, this movie is bad, along with it's horrible script. However, it could be seen as a "so bad, it's good" thing. But what bothers me though, is that it's a total rehash of the 7th movie. I mean you have the girl with the unexplainable powers, her hunky love interest, the bitchy popular girl, the nerdy guy who has a crush on said popular girl, the jerkass male authority figure, the kindly mother figure, etc. It's the same movie, the only difference is it takes place on a boat to Manhattan. And furthermore, it doesn't explain the supernatural occurrences the final girl goes through and most of the time anything involving Jason and the boat sequences are just confusing.
Although, it's a little more dumber than your usual Friday The 13th movie but at least it's still entertaining in "so bad, it's good" way. I do have a lot of issues with this movie but I'll discuss that later. So let's begin with the review shall we.
Here's The Story: For their final year together, the graduating class of Crystal Lake High (don't laugh) decide to take a boat trip to New York. One of them, Rennie Wickham goes on aboard to face her fear of drowning due to a dramatic event she had as a child. While trying to break free from the strings of her demeaning Uncle Charles who is the school principal and going through typical teenage stuff like falling in love and dealing with the mean girl. But deep down, she is suffering from awful memories. Awful memories involving the imposing and bloodthirsty Jason Voorhees. Her fears soon become real when Jason aboard on deck, causing destruction and mayhem along his way. Struggling to survive a sinking ship, Rennie and crew must escape the wrath of Jason Voorhees just as their on their way to New York City.


The cast is a little mixed for me. They're not exactly bad actors, it's just the performances are so mediocre.


I guess Jensen Dagget did okay but I wish she would put more emotion into her role, there were times where she came off kind of bland.


But on the other hand, I did care for the character of Rennie. Gosh, this girl goes through so much crap. In a flashback sequence, she gets thrown off a boat by her mean old uncle when she was a kid, traumatizing half her life, gets thrown off a boat again by the mean girl, gets drugged and almost raped by street thugs upon her arrival to New York and getting chased by Jason to add more to her worries. Rennie might not be the most badass of the final girls but she is the most sympathetic. She also looks a lot like Jesse Sporano from Saved By The Bell. She got the looks, She got the hair, she got the clothes. It's definitely uncanny.


And then there's Sean played by the very handsome Scott Reeves. Scott Reeves, along with the other actors, was above average but at least he put some emotion into his role. As for the character, the only thing that's developing about him is that he's trying to impress his father who is the captain of the ship.

but soon he becomes the movie's hero and seems to be more well-developed throughout.


Then there's Julius, who is probably the most badass character and is actually will to fight back against his attacker even when die trying.



Of course, which leads us to the most infamous death scene of the movie. Just look at the clip:


And here are the most memorable characters at least in my opinion:


Here is Wayne. Most of you may think Wayne is a stereotypical nerd, However, he is more laidback than most examples and he's just so darn cute! He has a major crush on popular girl Tamara and he's a professional with a camera. That's all we know of him basically. But he's just so darn cute! he looks a little like Matt Damon. Which makes you feel kind of bad when he dies a firey death.

 

Then we have Tamara's partner in crime Eva played by pre-Xmen Kelly Hu. She seems to be more meek than your usual popular girl's sidekick.


There were times where I felt for her character because I know what it's like to be a teen under peer pressure, especially under the whim of a more popular student.


But her character development is cut short when she is strangled by Jason in one of the most weirdest death scenes.


Then we have J.J., who's time on the film is very short which is sad because she is an awesome character that can play a mean guitar riff but ironically, she gets her head bashed in by her own guitar.


Oh, Tamara. She is actually the most memorable out of all the side characters. She is the true characterization of the alpha bitch trope. Just like Melissa in part 7, she is sexy, seductive, and manipulative. She is actually much more horrible than Melissa. She, on purpose, bumps Rennie off the boat, nearly drowning her, all because Rennie caught her doing some coke. And she didn't even snitch on her. Uh, I think we have a sociopath on our hands. Although, she is an enjoyable character, she is quite the amoral bitch.


So she meets her end in what think is the most intense death scene.


And now we have the biggest asshole of the movie and that is dear ole' Uncle Charles. Ugh, he is possibly the worst. Not only does he have a stick up his ass, constantly complaining throughout the movie, and being unbearably overbearing, he is the reason Rennie is so screwed up. In a flashback scene, he pushes a pre-adolescent Rennie off a boat to try and teach her how to swim while she nearly drowns, and Now she keeps having recurring  nightmares about Jason.


For the most part, he is skeptical about Jason but thankfully Jason proves to him, yes, he is in fact, real and drowns him in a bucket of slime, which is exactly what he is.


Jason is, as always, an indestructible badass, even to the point of swimming from a sinking ship all the way to New York. Surely, Kane Hodder is putting his all into the role, making him one of the more better actors of the movie. Apparently, Jason has teleportation powers and I think it was a way for filmmakers to fool the audience but all it ever does is raise questions. He's here, he's there, he's everywhere, and then again, it makes your head hurt. The design on Jason is actually pretty good. For somebody to be underwater that long, you'd expect them to be a little gooey.


His makeup effect though is hilariously lackluster. He looks like melted mozzarella cheese. ugh, I wished they kept the same makeup in Part 7.
Now let's get to the special effects and directing....


To be honest, the opening scene sort of reminded me of the 90's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live-action films. I just couldn't take it seriously. I mean, is this a superhero movie or a horror movie?
Some fans have dubbed the "Walt Disney Of The Friday The 13th Films", because of the lack of blood and gore and because of how extremely bright and colorful it is. And at times, It felt like I watching a Made-For-TV movie. But there are some good points. I thought the action sequences were cool, especially the scenes in the sinking ship, things are more at stake and the suspense is well done.


My most favorite moments though, is the New York scenes. It's all in good fun in it's unattainable cheesiness. It also depicts a somewhat realistic yet exaggerated look at New York in the 1980's.
Now for the trivia. The budget for the movie was about 13 million dollars, making it the most expensive Friday the 13th that year. It would've cost more money if the New York scenes were more expanded and since time constraints and budget cost was in the way, it was inevitable. Actually, the additional scenes were going to include the empire state building, the Brooklyn bridge, the Rockefeller center, and probably The Statue Of Liberty, making Jason into this King Kong type monster. Rob Hedden was just a little too ambitious.


Lee Coleman was the original actor to play Sean but things weren't working out because of his lack of acting skills. And according to one producer for being "too gay". Gosh, what an asshole.

DeDe Pfeiffer
 
 

And Pamela Anderson, of all people, auditioned for the role of Rennie.
 
 

But here's the real interesting part, Elizabeth Berkeley, best known as Jesse Sporano from Saved By The Bell, auditioned for the role of Rennie. So, she would've been in the worst Friday ever and the worst movie ever. Pretty close call if you ask me. She would later co-star with Gina Gershon, Who also auditioned in A New Beginning, in the aforementioned Showgirls.
 
Now to get to my problems with movie. it never explains why Rennie keeps having visions of Jason Voorhees, especially in his pre-teen form. And isn't she a teenager in present time, why is she suddenly having visions of Jason as a little boy? It's just so confusing. The director explicitly said that he was going for "A nightmare on elm street" feel but it never explains the supernatural structure. So it's a slasher movie, a disaster movie, and a supernatural horror movie. It's just an example of the director being too ambitious. Then there is the revelation of Rennie's fear of drowning in flashback scene. I just didn't like how that all happened in the middle of the action. I mean hello people! there's a two ton serial killer that's like a feet away, there's more at stake here!
 

And should anyone get a tad emotional over the kindly teacher lady's death? This was a woman Rennie was close to and she doesn't even shed a tear, even though the accident was her fault.


And please don't let me talk about the ending. It was just so weird and out of place. The director explained that it's through Rennie's eyes when she saw pre-adolescent Jason floating the water. Again, it's an example of the director being too ambitious for his own good. This is Friday The 13th, not a supernatural thriller.
The movie was a box office flop, pulling in 14.3 million dollars. Making it the most least successful movie in the series. Boy, 1989 was a bad year for horror films.
So there's Jason Take Manhattan. This isn't the worst Friday The 13th but it's definitely ridiculous and stupid in a fun way.
My last word: It wouldn't hurt to give a watch or two.
P.S. I couldn't get this song out of my head:






 

  


















 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Hunk Of The Day: Kellan Lutz


I know it's been a while since I did this but now the wait is over. Starting off the new year of our Hunk Of Day post is the most sexist, most luscious, most kissable and most hunkiest of hunks, he is none other than.....


Kellan Lutz. I am like speechless right now. This guy is a pure Adonis. Those eyes, those lips, that hair, and that....body! it's amazing how he can blind you with those devastatingly good looks. Just let me showcase the sex god that is Kellan Lutz......
 
 
 
The Man In Black. Surely his sexist suit.
 

Always a sharp dressed man.
 
 
You gotta love those tight shirts. :)
 

Is he trying to tease us?
 

There he goes again. ;)
 

Gotta love the dark hair.
 

Sexy Close-up Shot, yeah!
 
Now let's show him in all his tank top glory.....
 
 
Gosh, I love his hair!
 


Those biceps are to die for! Yowza!








 
 
Now we are just across the finishing line with some truly amazing, almost naked shirtless pics.....indulge!
 
 






He even makes the wool cap look sexy
 



Wet and Wild!
 
 
 

Muscle God Indeed
 
Now this is when it gets really steamy....
 
 
 




Oh there's more where that came from, just search him on google and you can see the whole package, let me tell you. This guy would definitely be in my top ten spot of sexist men alive. So Watch Out Brad Pitt. Watch Out Adam Levine. This guy might be on the cover on people magazine and I can't wait to see it!







 

Monday, January 27, 2014

Misunderstood Women: Miley Cyrus and The Rise and Fall Of The Teen Idol



I haven't been doing this for a while, so this is a two-way topic with the budding stardom of Miley Cyrus and the analyzing of former teen stars.


By the past year, people have been ranting and raving about how wild Miley Cyrus has become. But has anyone seen her make an idiot of herself? Did anyone seen her dancing on tables or flashing her crotch area in public places? No.


It's all because she was twerking on a guy's clothed penis at the VMAs. Everybody acted like that was the most shocking thing in the world, but just to remind people, that was a Performance. And it was probably rehearsed and everything. By the way, a lot of unexpected things happened at the VMAs, so certain people need to get used to that. Not long before this, Miley Cyrus have been trying to break away from the whole Hanna Montana thing and branch out a new image for herself.



Like many examples before her, like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, these young stars had to take risks, even if it meant putting on an outrageous performance at the VMAs. People need to give into the fact that sex sells in this industry. But not all pop stars have to be overtly sexual and provocative.



Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift still maintain their girl-next-door image but even they are able to take risks by being a little edgy. Considering Taylor Swift likes to write about her ex-boyfriends, it would be cool if she wrote about cutting a guy's dick off and feeding it to the dogs, because her songs might come pretty close to that in the future.
It's not just in music that Former Teen Stars take big risks, there are also actresses who are willing to do more scandalous roles to be taken seriously. And in this day in age, Child stars and teen stars are gonna grow up and if they don't do something to wow it's new adult audience, they're going to fade out. It's about taking risk and it's not about being the next sexpot or anything. Doing these kinds of edgy roles whether if it involves nudity, albeit artistically not sleazy I must add, or brassy like playing an ax murderer or drug addict.


I mean Anne Hathaway did such heavy adult roles such as Havoc, Brokeback Mountain, and Love And Other Drugs, and now she's an Oscar winner.



There are actually two Disney stars that are branching out in a new way, which are Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens.


As they both star in the overtly raunchy, highly violent Spring Breakers. Yes, it's surprising to see Selena Gomez in a movie like this but I think it is opening doors to more mature roles. Although, she had a misstep with Getaway, I'm sure she'll get much notable roles in the future. But the real showstopper is Vanessa Hudgens. She is now getting into more gritter roles and even getting rave reviews in films like The Frozen Ground and The aforementioned Spring Breakers. She is so committed, in fact, that she is willing to chop off her hair and wear grungy clothes in the movie Gimmie Shelter. I surely think that Vanessa Hudgens is going places and is more than just a pretty face.
So let's talk about boy bands and pretty boys. The boy band fad isn't really relevant like it use to be.



The recent breakup of such bands as The Jonas Brothers and The Wanted, It shows that the world just doesn't care about this trend anymore.


And in a few years, One Direction might be on the same boat. Yeah, they might do something edgy or brassy to appeal to their older fanbase, like New Kids On The Block did in the mid-nineties, but by the end of the day, they're just not going to hit the mark. Furthermore, they're just so.....boring. What made the boy bands so popular back in the day, is because they had different personalities, different styles, different quirks. But One Direction is just not appealing enough to climb bigger mountains. Yes, they are really cute, attractive boys, but they're just so bland and interchangeable. They have the same hair, they have the same clothes, they even sing the same songs. By the next year or so, their little fangirls just won't care anymore.
Though the real hot topic of this is......


Justin Bieber

Now I really didn't have a problem with Justin Bieber at first. He was just a harmless teen idol popstar, even though, his music isn't really all that good. I mean he really didn't deserved to be mega popular in my opinion. But up until now, he has become incredibly unlikeable and annoying. Before I talk about the arrest everyone's raving about, let me explain the close calls Mr. Bieber had prior to the DUI. First, he peed in a janitor's bucket. That's strike one and it's surprising he didn't get arrested for public urination. Also, Neighbors complained about his wild antics, including his feud with fellow neighbor Keyshawn Johnston. That's strike two. Then, there was a time where he did illegal graffiti and causing a ruckus in Brazil. That's strike three. AND then there was the recent drug bust at his house, though he didn't get arrested, the cops has confiscated his personal items that are still possibly under investigation. And according to some rumors, his cellphone might have nude photos of underage girls. That's the final strike.


Now it has come to this, and there is no given fact that Justin Bieber is turning into examples such as Leif Garret, Aaron Carter, and unfortunately, Corey Haim. And I just can't help but to compare him to Chris Brown, I mean, hell, they even did a collaboration once. And then there a few additional examples with Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes, two actresses I used to like but at least they're trying to get their act together. If Justin Bieber continues on this path of destruction, there is no point of no return...And I quite frankly don't care.


As much as Justin Bieber annoys me these days, judging from the details of the arrest, I see the bigger picture.


According to news reports, Jeremy Bieber (that's Justin Bieber's father) blocked all the roadways, just so his son could drag race, EVEN THOUGH, he is under the influence of alcohol and prescription drugs. Then he later rants about how "unfair" the media is portraying Justin. Now I see who's the real idiot in this situation. Parents of child stars has got to know the limits of their son or daughter unexpected stardoms and the hardships of Hollywood. If the child star is suddenly growing up to be this badass with legal problems and reckless behavior, then it's only going to ruin their careers.


This is the wrong way of taking risks and I doubt if Justin Bieber will have any success again after Pretty boys like Austin Manhone and Ross Lynch are now taking the shot at the spotlight.
Oh well, It is what it is and it's a classic story of when you lose your reputation and that cute harmless image, Hollywood can chew you up and spit you out.