Showing posts with label Special Message. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Special Message. Show all posts

Friday, April 3, 2015

The Thing With Remakes

I meant to make this a short overview but somehow this turned out to be a rant/discussion instead. There have been a slew of remakes lately and it's gotten kind of out of control almost like it's a marketing ploy. It 's been a hit or miss in some movies, however it's been mostly a miss. Statistics show that Hollywood since the coming decade has literally run out of original ideas. This isn't always the case all the time but, trust me you guys, compare to the horror movies or movies in general back in the 70's, 80's, and 90's and the movies of modern times. Without a doubt, there is just no original ideas that pop out anymore. No movies that pop out or stand the test of time. I know I'm being a little overdramatic, however, it's only my opinion. There are some movies that heighten our expectations  though you get your occasional remake, reboot, re-imagining, re-do, redux, it never ends. This have been trending since the 90's and I am a firm lover of the 90's though that's not really the issue. People will eventually keep making remakes whether it's necessary or not(like the recent re-do of Poltergeist I might add). The problem is the people behind the movies don't put any sort of thought or passion into the project or any respect for the original. I feel like if the filmmakers doesn't know what they're doing, what's the point of remaking the film at all. If somebody took the time to re-evaluate what was missing from the original and put on a new perspective on the new material, I'll probably give a lot of respect towards that filmmaker. I want to keep this short and simple because I know I have a lot of remakes to review though since there are so many I can only review a quarter amount that I have which is about 18 or so and that's a lot. And maybe in the future, I can make a vol.2 to this.
So that's pretty much all my venting into this whole remake phenomenon. And I'll be sure to hope to go on with the reviews as much as I can, this isn't an easy task. So wish me luck!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Showgirls Part 3

So this is when things get a little crazy, fucked-up, and dark. It was all campy, sexual fun but now things are going to get serious.

So Nomi is invited to this party hosted by Andrew Carver, a Michael Bolton-type singer that Molly gushes over. As an apology, Nomi invites her over and she is easily forgiven. Molly is then given the chance to meet her idol for the very first time....This wasn't such a good idea. Even beforehand, Nomi should've saw the warning signs when this guy turned out to be a creep when he made a comment about her breasts. But this is worse than that....way worse. Molly is brutally beaten and raped by him and his security guards, which is the way for this film to up the ante on the NC-17 rating to throw a little violence along with sex. really? Why did it have to come to this? It's disgusting and repulsive. Why can't this movie be fun, stupid and campy, why did they have to go this far?
So once Nomi comes to the knowledge of this, she tries to call the authorities but Zach stops her for some reason, gloating that he knows about her seedy past and rubs it in her face. Nomi, did you seriously think it was a good idea to sleep with this guy? She responds by spitting him in the face but a punch to the face would've been more acceptable. Okay, so let me get this straight. Her friend was brutally raped and she can't call the authorities because this floppy-haired dickweed said so? What does he own? all of Las Vegas or something? I don't care if this Andrew Carver guy is a celebrity or whatever, he still did a terrible crime and plus everybody at the party witnessed Molly falling unconscious and battered. How much evidence is that?

But anywho, Nomi takes the law into her own hands and decides to beat the living shit out of Andrew Carver. Like that is going to solve anything. You should've frame the fucker that's what you should've done. But this of course is treated as the film's climax.

And Nomi just had about enough of Las Vegas. So she pays Molly a visit as well as Cristal. But Cristal wants something that she never had. To kiss Nomi's lips one last time. I guess this is supposed to be treated as romantic.

So off Nomi goes and here she runs into the guy who ran off with her suitcase. So she flicks her knife, Orders her suitcase back, and off they go to Los Angles.
Wow what a trashy pile of gloriousness....

Let's just be honest people, Elizabeth Berkely is just not a good actress, I was puzzled as to why she was given the leading role in the first place. She is mostly remembered for this movie but for all the wrong reasons. Which is why she is stuck writing self-help books and doing TV work. Best fit to be honest. I also didn't get Nomi Malone as a character. The movie just didn't know what to do with her. They try to paint her as this street-smart kind of gal but occasionally make her into this naïve ingénue at the same time. That's not always a problem but the stuff that she does is questionable. She knows but she doesn't know. And the movie doesn't do a good job at making her this good person who suddenly do bad things to get to the top because quite frankly we don't know anything about her.

Gina Gershon is probably the only shining beacon in this movie and is solely the reason why I watched through all of it. Her character may be a bit of bitch but that's what she's good at playing.
Now let's get to the Nitty Gritty. The blatant misogyny of the film is too much to handle. Almost all of the men in this movie are slimeballs and what makes it worse is that it's written and directed by men. And the rape scene puts more salt into the wound, making me feel even dirtier for watching this film.
So that's Showgirls. I still wouldn't rank it as one of my top guiltiest pleasures but if it's on cable on a boring Saturday night, I'll probably give it watch. After all it's faults, it's still kind of entertaining.

Now a clip show:


Saturday, March 14, 2015

Showgirls Part 2

Where I left off is sort of the turning point of the movie, believe it or not. And it all starts with is Nomi dry humping stage director Zach while Showgirl starlet Cristal Conners watches. Also the wannabe-philosopher watches as well, who just so happens to work at the strip club. So after that little performance the stage director definitely has Nomi on his mind. So does Cristal.
The next scene I find incredibly hilarious because the next morning or so, the wannabe-philosopher guy shows up at her doorstep, unannounced, just to tell her about her dryhumping the stage director. Here's a clip(sound only). Lol:

Okay, shouldn't she get a restraining order? Who fucking does that? What's even more hilarious is how this scene is attempted as a dramatic confrontation, really? She barely even knows the guy.
So as it all progresses, Nomi just suddenly, out of the blue, gets an offer to audition for a part in the upcoming show. So off Nomi goes on her quest to be the next best showgirl, even though, she sort of lied her way to get to that spot when putting out her information.

So as the audition starts the girls are subjected to some very snide insults by the producer and that's when the misogyny becomes a little blatant. Sure, show business isn't the most nicest environment but does being a showgirl involves a contest of who has the biggest breasts? Things go a little too far when the producer gets Nomi to rub her nipples with ice and she's not haven't it! Turns out Cristal Conners was the one behind the whole ice/nipple thing just to fuck with her, which is probably her way of flirting. So somehow, someway, Nomi gets the job anyway.

Oh I forgot to mention where she goes with the wannabe philosopher.

They dance a little bit, he gets turned on, once things get hot and heavy, she says she's on her period....and she's not kidding. GROSS! so it's Nomi that thinks she's in a relationship with this guy, even though, they barely know each other.

Once she tells him about the exciting news about her part on the show, turns out he's sleeping with one of the dancers at her former job. I guess he was the one who led her on. Wow. So after that, Nomi prepares for her first show and already witnesses a cat fight between two dancers, over-the-top acting and all. It's sort of a taste of what she's going to get into later.
So her first of couple of shows, she does well and Zach prepares to woo her. The wannabe Philosopher comes crawling back, saying he can't get enough of women. Heh, sure. We later find out that the girl he was fooling around with is pregnant and he gets some mundane job at a grocery store.  But then again why would she care? They weren't in a relationship in the first place.

Just as Zach is trying to woo Nomi, So does Cristal. They have a little girl talk while wining and dining. And here comes one of the strangest dialogue I heard in a movie. Seriously what? And so is the start  of Cristal trying to mind fuck Nomi and literally try to fuck her as well.

During one of the rehearsals, Nomi witnesses one of the showgirls dropping diamonds on the stage so one of the girls can trip over it. Once that happens the girls leg is broken. This was of course payback for her for yelling at the woman's kids. Then again who would bring their kids around that environment? I mean come on. This is sort of a foreshadowing of what is about to come.
So after that, Nomi gets to see her former employers at the strip club. Yet another hilarious scene as the movie tries to make  this into a heartwarming scene. Really moive? Really?

This is the same night  where she get to go on a date with Zach. Or have sex, let's be honest, people. This leads into one of the most over-the-top sex scene in years. I mean you gotta see it to believe it. I laughed my ass off.
This eventually gets her the chance to be Cristal's Understudy. This pisses off Cristal because she knows Nomi had sex with Zach to get her way to the top. Can I mention here that the movie take jabs at Cristal's age besides the fact that Gina Gershon is at least in her thirties. I guess being in your thirties is ancient in the showgirl universe.

So, of course, Cristal manipulates Nomi and strips her chances of becoming the understudy.

This is the last straw and so Nomi pushes Cristal down the stairs, becomes the new star of show, and enjoying the perks of it all. But her friend Molly is not so pleased......
Okay people, this is a long ass movie to cover. So there will be a third and FINAL part to this trainwreck of a movie....


Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Showgirls Part 1

In  a couple of months or so, it will be the 20th anniversary of the bad movie "classic" Showgirls. I first watched this movie when I was around 11 or 12. Can you believe that? But thankfully, I watched the censored version on VH1. After that, I just couldn't stop watching it whenever it comes on TV. It's kind of well.....interesting, even though it's known to be one of the worst movies of the 90's. Maybe it's the outlandish campiness the reason why I find this movie the slightest bit entertaining, along with it's incredibly awful dialogue. Everybody else seems to enjoy this as well citing it as a cult favorite. But I just can't bring myself  to hail this as one of my favorite guilty pleasures. The movie has a really sleazy vibe that keeps me from enjoying this. The nudity I can handle but the context not so much. The context meaning the shit load amount of misogyny this movie keeps rubbing in our faces. Sure, some of the moments in this movie is too hard to take seriously, but it's the way it portrays women, who would use their sexuality as a weapon or are victims of sexual predatory by the men. They should be proud of their sexuality not be prisoners of it. Speaking of the men, most of them are just scummy and sex-obsessed(if you count out a few gay guys), it almost buffoonish.
The problems with the movie, I'll get to that later but for now let's get story, shall we? oh and guys, this review is totally safe for work, so any of you straight male viewers, sorry.

So it starts off with this drifter named Nomi Malone. Very cleaver on Joe Eszterhas part. LO freaking L! To think this is the same guy who wrote Flashdance and Jagged Edge. So the thing about her name is that you want to get to know her but she's alone. Get it? Yeah I know you wouldn't. So the things we KNOW about Nomi so far is that she's beautiful, blonde, and looking to make it big in Hollywood. So she decides to hijack this guy's car at knifepoint and heads to Las Vegas. Like a kid in wonder, she explores the casinos. Just as she first arrives though, she is approached by this sleazy pimp. She, of course, declines. Joe Eszerthas is digging a pretty big  hole in the beginning but it gets worse, trust me. Trying to score big on the jackpots, she soon realizes her suitcase was stolen by the driver. And this is how she meets Molly, as they get into a scuffle and hug it out after a misunderstanding. It's pretty freakin' hilarious. Once she hears about Nomi and her missing suitcase, Molly agrees to let her stay with her for a while until she gets on her own two feet. Yeah, let some complete stranger, stay at your house. Not smart I should say.

Some weeks later, Nomi is working at some low down strip club to help pay the bills. Couldn't she be a waitress or work at a retail store? why a stripper? I guess because if it's any way to get the main actress naked I guess she has to be a stripper.  Ugh. Okay before I take things further let's talk about the tacky nature of the strip club. The club owner always bribes the girls with oral sex, there's an overweight lady who makes fat jokes about herself and flashes her breasts in a clownish fashion, and the plain overall feel is over-the-top sexual.

So once she learns Molly is a costume designer at one of the best shows in Las Vegas, Nomi takes this opportunity to see the live shows and the most popular showgirl Cristal Conners, even though there is no mention of her knowing of Cristal.

So once she meets Cristal in her dressing room, she gives off a diva haughty attitude towards Nomi and Nomi leaves out, pissed. So as a stress reliever, Molly and Nomi goes out dancing at this club. While Nomi is gyrating like she's been stung by bees, she runs into this guy trying to hit on her. And she's like 'no way hose' and pushes him off, which ultimately causes them both to be a scuffle and soon gets them in jail. After that the guy just can't seem to get a clue and won't leave her alone. So now he's a recurring character. So I'll just call him The Wanna-be Philosopher.

So during one of her gigs at the strip club, Cristal Connors pays a visit.....
Okay guys, I'm afraid I have to stop it right here for now as cliffhanger. For a bad movie, it sure has a lot of story. So check me out on the second half.


Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day everybody

Yes, love is in the air and I hope you have a special somebody with you to enjoy your day. Oh and happy Friday The 13th too in case I totally missed that. But really the most important thing here is I'm taking yet another sabbatical to focus on my writing. I'm also in  the middle of finding and publisher or literary agent to check out my novels. It isn't a easy road guys. But when the going gets tough, it makes you stronger and as you get stronger and pursue as much as can then your dream will come to you in flying colors. And dreams really do come true if you believe in yourself. Though this only the beginning for me. So wish me luck guys :)

P.S. don't worry I might do some articles here and there but not so much as frequent. And there will also be new segments and new reviews headed your way in late March or April.
And again have a wonderful Valentine's Day.

Friday, October 10, 2014

A Halloween Texas Chainsaw Massacre

It's that time of the year. So yet again, we are going to focus on two film franchises that left a mark in horror. Last year, we did the Friday the 13th and A Nightmare On Elm Street series. Now it's the time to review the movies that started it all: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween. These are the movies that catapulted the slasher genre. These are my favorite classic horror  movies besides Alien and of course the aforementioned Friday and Nightmare movies. But to be honest you guys, these two movies don't make the best franchises. Yes, some of the sequels are at least watchable and entertaining but MOST of the them are terrible. There is an entertaining factor with the Friday and nightmare sequels, whether or not how good or bad there are, but with some of the Texas Chainsaw and Halloween sequels there pretty hard to watch at times. And no, just like the last time I am not going to showcase the remakes. Maybe at another when I'm ready, and boy do I need to be ready....Just talking about the Halloween remake.....just saying...ugh...I'm even growing headache right now. But anywho, there are three things the two original succeeded at: Subtly, Suspense, and atmosphere. Which are the special key ingredients in a horror film. So feast your eyes on these timeless classics as the night of Halloween creeps by.....

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures

I'm back bitches! And I'm here to rank up my Top Ten guiltiest pleasures. Now these are not considered good movies or could be in the lines of mediocre but for me these movies either had a special place in my childhood,  to watch for a good laugh, or something to watch on a rainy day. Now you don't have to agree with me here, some these movies are silly, intentionally or unintentionally, but you know what, I had a good time watching them and so should you.

To start this off let's  go with the honorable mentions:


This movie had to come on this list somehow but the reason it isn't because of how incredibly sleazy it is. Sure, that's the movie's charm, however, it goes out of it's way to get an NC-17. The supposed characters in the movies aren't characters, there more like caricatures. Some of them don't even act like human beings. The main heroine is not particularly likeable once you see how she is introduced and has shitty morals. Lastly, Joe Eszterhas is not the greatest screenwriter. The way he portrays woman, how the story is set up, how the setting is set all just wrong. Maybe I should do a full depth analysis on this but for all the times I watched this movie, it just doesn't make this list.

Ben and Arthur

Oh my gosh, this movie is hilarious. It tries to teach us a serious message but it fails at execution. It also have terrible production values, stupid character motivations, terrible acting, terrible directing, the list goes on. But I will give this movie at least one positive feedback for recognizing gay marriage but please don't think I'm giving this movie TOO much credit otherwise. Why isn't it on the list? I'm just too ashamed for it to be on the list at all.

Friday The 13th part 8,9, and 10

Sure, I've already reviewed these movies before and they could be easy to watch if you wouldn't put too much thought on them but the reason they aren't on the list is because all the plot holes and inconsistences  prevent them from being watchable, sure these movies could be so bad it's good. However, these just don't cut it really.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 and 6

These could be watchable movies if  you take the time to be invested in them. But on the downside, these are the two movies that made the series into a total joke. It dose have some interesting plots but it fails at execution. So the bottom line is these are quite forgettable.

Bride of Chucky/Seed of Chucky

These movies could work well as comedies. That's it....I just don't see these as horror films. It's like I'm watching stupid family sitcoms with a few dead bodies in it's wake. The movies wouldn't be a waste of your time however these aren't the best Child's Play movies.

Let's begin the list shall we:

10. The Room

This has got to be one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I have ever seen. From what I heard this was a production mess which explains the final result of the movie. I first watched this on adult swim and to be honest, I thought this was a failed pilot for a TV show. From Canada, at least. But then I found out this was an actual movie that was in theaters for a while. Wow...just wow. This movie could be considered a parody of a soap opera. The melodrama is laughable, we have supporting characters we don't know, and the main storyline is contrived. I would say one thing though, At least the actors tried. I'm not saying they're by no means good but at least they tried to act their way through the bad dialogue. The only bad actor in this, unfortunately, is Tommy Wiseau himself, who lack of emotion and bad line delivering  really is the worst aspect of the movie. This would  be fun for a good laugh, so it would be good for any bad movie lover.

9. Batman and Robin

Don't get me wrong, this is one of the worst comic book movies ever but if you look at this as a comedy, it's definitely a riot. The over-the-top acting, The ridiculous costumes, and the endless hurricane of puns. It all adds up to this glorious mess of a movie. The hype was insane but nobody knew the crap that was coming their way. To be truthful I watch this for nostalgic purposes. I first seen this in theaters and to explain myself I was only six years old, so you don't have to judge me. Even though it's the worst comic book movie ever, it's still the most guiltiest pleasure ever.

8. Earth Girls Are Easy

This is a totally cheesy movie and it's so....80's. However, I watched this movie so many times more than my all time classic movies. I don't know it just has a certain charm to it. And this made me laugh more than any other Jim Carrey movie. Yes, he is really hilarious in this. Then there is Geena Davis playing the role of the adorable girl next door, a semi-attractive Jeff Goldblum , The always cool Damon Wayans, and the ever funny Julie Brown to round out the cast. And did I mention this was a musical? Yes, it surely is. The musical numbers are quite catchy actually. This movie is definitely a blast for an 80's fan.

7. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Sequel

Again, this is another nostalgic favorite of mine. I loved, loved, loved the ninja turtles and when I saw the first movie on USA in the nineties, I was completely in awe. But I think I watched the sequel more times than the first one because that's the only ninja turtles movie my dad owned. And boy was it a good time. The second sequel maybe silly and stupid but I had so much fun watching it. When I was a kid I popped this in every Friday and Saturday night for my special movie time. It was that awesome. My favorite scene was at the dance club which is technically the movie's climax and that "Go Ninja Go" song cannot get out of my head. These movies are not considered classics but at least they are a reflection of our childhood. And I'm not talking about the third movie. It's a boring piece of crap that I'll probably review some other time.

6. Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Sure it might be in the shadow of the more darker, edgier, and more popular TV series. Sure, it's nothing more than a campy teen flick that's quite obscure, but I can't help but love this movie for some reason. Yeah, the story feels rushed and although Kristy Swanson is a decent actress, she would done a much better performance. And yet, I like for what it is. It deviates what should be a much more darker film and prefers to be high camp. I was a sucker for movies like this and I'm still kind of am(for the least part). Though I would love to talk about what happened behind the scenes But I'll save that for another analysis. On the plus side, this was pretty fun movie to watch. It's not good, though at least it will be something to watch on a rainy day.

5. Charlie's Angels and The Sequel

You know what? I really like the Charlie's Angels movies. Although it was highly successful and people couldn't stop talking about it, it wasn't considered that good. Even Roger Ebert took a snipe at it. Some people these days would pass it off as another dumb mindless action flick. And you know what else? That's why I love this series so much. They are just fun action flicks that don't take themselves too seriously. I also liked the chemistry between Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu. You can tell they seem like really good friends and are having the time of their lives. I would think the fans of the television show could flock to this too because it does capture the feel of the TV series in a new modern way. Now just to say this I do love the TV series and probably watched it every morning before school when I was a kid but it's not what quality television and it is it's own guilty pleasure at best. Which some would say for the movie series, however, I like fun stupid action flicks and I would probably rank this as my favorite action movies beside Kill Bill.

4. Mommie Dearest

Just to let you know I don't think Child Abuse is funny. It's kind of sad and depressing when it's depicted on film, So much so it's kind of hard to watch. However, this movie has such a failed attempt at drama, it's almost hilarious to watch. It tries so hard to be this Oscar-worthy movie but it just crashes in it's own convoluted mess. Now I don't know the whole complete backstory of Joan Crawford and she may have been looney tunes but this movie is so apart from reality that it had me thinking most of the scenes that happened in the movie never happened in the book and was just put in for some shock value. Which boils down to Faye Dunaway's performance. I don't think she's a bad actress and she really tries though there are moments where she literally comes off like a cartoon character. Most of the time, she reminds me of certain Disney villains: First, she the wicked queen from Snow White, Then She's Lady Tremaine from Cinderella, and little bit of the wicked witch from the west from The Wizard Of Oz. Faye Dunaway's performance alone is the reason why I crave this movie so much and if given much more thought with a couple of rewrites and reshoots maybe, it could've been a really good movie. Oh well at least it's a cult classic for good or bad reasons.

3. Jawbreaker

I love, love, love this movie. Maybe it's because it's not your typical teen movie and it has much more different take on high school since certain high school movies back then were kind of cheesy and predictable. Some would like to compare this to the movie Heathers. But where Heathers dive more into the darker side of things, Jawbreaker is much more campier in it's terms of black comedy. I also enjoyed Rose McGowan's devious performance as the calculating and manipulative Courtney Shane. This role was made for her. There are also other decent actresses that I enjoy as well including Rebecca Gayheart, Julie Benz, and Judy Greer, which was her first big movie role. It's not your typical bubblegum teen fare, it's sort of a satire of it, which I really enjoy. And may I say the theme song is earwormy? This movie is an underrated classic in my opinion, especially for those who enjoy 90's teen movies.

2. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

I watched this movie more times just as any other horror movie. Every time it comes on TV, I just have this certain need to watch it. If you ignore the stupid plot, the lame twist, and the idiocy of certain characters, you might have a good time. Unlike most characters in a horror movie these days, the cast is really likeable and the acting is actually good. I don't know, I just think Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brandy are just so charming together. This is also a lot more action-packed than the last movie where the first one was more of a mystery-thriller, this one is more of a high-seas type of adventure movie. That's why I'm so invested the stakes are much higher and there is actual suspense. Although, this is nothing more than a cash-in sequel, it's still entertaining to watch.

1. Josie and The Pussycats

I know what you're going to say but I just had to rank this at the top of my list. During my childhood, I watched a lot of Cartoon Network and often so, I would catch an episode of Josie and The Pussycats cartoon. I was hooked. Sure, it was a knock-off of Scooby-doo but I enjoyed it otherwise. Especially the theme song. Plus I had the Archie comics for good measure. So when I heard that a movie adaptation was coming to theaters, I was psyched. I was only ten years old and all over this movie. I was determined to get that front row seat. Unfortunately, there wasn't that many people in the movie theater. Maybe the people in my town was never familiar about a trio of girls dressed as cats playing a rock band. But the movie experience was unforgettable. I thought the casting was spot-on. I was a fan of Rachel Leigh Cook during her She's All That phase and I was happy to see her in this role. She was very believable as this laid back girl-next-door. I didn't know who Rasiro Dawson was at the time and this was the first mainstream movie I saw her in. And you know what, she was great. She too was believable as the smart, mature cool big sis type. But the showstopper for me was Tara Reid, who was a bit too believable as the happy-go lucky dumb blonde. I was laughing my ass off every time she said a stupid line. Though the supporting cast makes up for this movie as well. Here you have the awesome Parker Posey and Alan Cumming. They are a comedic team and they have really good chemistry together. Maybe in a lifetime I would see these two in a movie again. The soundtrack was certified gold at the time and rightfully so. The songs are so catchy, so fun to listen, I just have this good feeling every time it plays. I know, I know, I'm being too sentimental. But whenever I look at movies like this it just give me this euphoria of nostalgia. The late 90's and early 2000's were happy times and this movie was a testament to that. Sure the whole mind control thing with pop music seemed tacked on but It's not like we think the whole mind control still works now. I mean the pop music that we listen today is such crap I can see how anybody pull that out of a drop of a hat. But anywho, The movie actually feels like an episode from the series just with a modern spin to it. And this was at a time where movies, bad or good, were entertaining. they didn't have to be great or anything, just a blast to watch. I don't know.....this movie has a special place in my heart for some reason. And I'm not ashamed one bit.

P.S. I love this song. Sue Me!

So there is my top ten guiltiest pleasures. Maybe some of the movies in this list may make your day a little better but if you have your guilty pleasure to admit. Don't be afraid to say it. :)


Friday, February 14, 2014

Endless Love

So since it's Valentine's Day and the remake for this movie is coming out in theaters, I thought I would take a swipe at this. I usually review horror movies, but this turns out to be some psychological drama/thriller, which would fit right well in here.
I first watched this on lifetime movie network naturally and I thought this was your usual teen romance starring Brooke Shield, but oh no, it is something way beyond that. Once it gets to the second act, it never holds back. And I'm not going to give out a brief synopsis. I'm going to tell it bit by bit.

So it starts off with Jade and David and they are like so in love with each other. So after the party at Jade's house, they decide to consume their love together. Then this is when things get weird. So Jade's mom, goes down the stairs and catches them and she's like "oh shit" but then decides to sit back and watch. What?! I know it's established that Jade's parents are these opened-minded hippies, who blend in with the other teenagers, giving them free drugs and alcohol and throwing wild parties. But this....this is full on creepiness.
So, la de da de da, love montage. And then we cut to James Spader as Jade's older brother going hunting with David. You see, Him and David are kind of buddies together and I guess that's how he met Jade. This won't last long though. So James tell him he's not too fond of him, dating his sister. After this, however, David constantly comes over to ravage Jade. Her parents notices this yet doesn't say anything about it. Well, of course, the father does but the mom is so blasé about the whole thing. Judging by her voyeuristic urges, I wasn't surprised.
So Jade is having trouble sleeping and concentrating on her studies and suddenly is taking sleeping pills. This is when Dad flips out and grow some balls. He tells David not to see Jade for at least 30 days. Not months. Not years. Just 30 days. He is actually giving this guy a time limit. But turns out he can't wait that long. He just can't get enough of that Brooke Shields lovin'.
So while David is obsessing about her, he chats with one of his high school friends, where the friend brags about a prank he pulled off but suddenly made him the town hero. So David gets the idea that this would win Jade's father approval.
So it's later at night where Jade's parents are having one their wild parties and is shown where her father is making out with a young woman who is presumably a teenager. Gross. David goes around and stalks her. Turns out that Jade is striking up a conversation with her older brother's new best friend. Uh huh.....
So David goes on with his stupid plan and all of a sudden the house burns down.
Cut to court scene and David is sentenced to a psychiatric ward. He goes through "I'm going crazy" montage and sees visions of Jade. He convinces his parents (in the most over-the-top way) that he's not crazy, he's in love! though love and obsession really don't go together.
And therefore, David is released just like that and dad is ragging mad, thinking his punishment wasn't severe enough. So David is out and about and hears that the parents are divorced and the rest of the family is living in New York. So off he goes on his love-obsessed quest. But first he give Mom a chat, she reveals to him when she watched David putting the smooth moves on her daughter, she wanted the piece of the action as well. uh, ew! But David declines and says his heart belong to Jade.
Blah, blah, blah, Jade's Dad sees David walking down the street, and of course, with a younger woman in his arm. Full of rage, he stupidly runs down the street, without looking both ways, and gets hit by a car in the process.

So during the wake of this tragedy, David finally meets Jade again. He professes his love to her but she feels guilty of all the things that happened and thinks they shouldn't be together. So full of passion and desperation, he pushes down the bed and force kisses her, and she goes with it....okay.
So after their love-making and reconciliation, David and Jade are finally happy together....that is until deceased dad's young girlfriend telling Jade's older brother that David was at the scene of the accident. Melodrama ensues. David and big brother get into a fight. And David is carried off to jail. Mom gives advice to Jade about love. Blah, blah, blah. David starts having hallucinations about Jade and is obviously going crazy again. The End.
Wow, what a movie. Was it interesting? yes. Was it any good? No. It's definitely something out of some shitty romance novel but the thick of it is.....

it's actually based on a novel. A best-selling one in fact. Too bad it has an awful adaptation.
Most of the acting was either over-the-top or just plain bad.

At least Brooke Shields tried. I'm not saying she's the best actress in the world but at least she put some effort into her performance. Even though some of the actors like Shirley Knight and even her own mother thought otherwise.

Martin Hewitt, on the other hand, isn't much of an actor. He's a mix of bland and over-the-top. Apparently, He beated out 5,000 actors for the role. It was probably his good looks and nice ass that got him the deal. Well after that, he's been in a slew of B-movies, which fits perfectly for him.

James Spader is the only one who shows promise. Even in a piece of shit, melodramatic crapfest like this.

The only reason the film is well-known for (just a tiny-bit), is the soundtrack and most notably the theme song. But to my surprise, this was a box-office hit in it's day, mainly because Brooke Shields' popularity was on the rise.

So the film went into obscurity for a few years, not even getting a DVD release, until now. The Remake. Well, it seems to me that this is just a Nicholas Sparks Knock off, nothing more....
So there you have it, a sappy 80's teen romance that's different from the norm but still not any good.


Monday, January 27, 2014

Misunderstood Women: Miley Cyrus and The Rise and Fall Of The Teen Idol

I haven't been doing this for a while, so this is a two-way topic with the budding stardom of Miley Cyrus and the analyzing of former teen stars.

By the past year, people have been ranting and raving about how wild Miley Cyrus has become. But has anyone seen her make an idiot of herself? Did anyone seen her dancing on tables or flashing her crotch area in public places? No.

It's all because she was twerking on a guy's clothed penis at the VMAs. Everybody acted like that was the most shocking thing in the world, but just to remind people, that was a Performance. And it was probably rehearsed and everything. By the way, a lot of unexpected things happened at the VMAs, so certain people need to get used to that. Not long before this, Miley Cyrus have been trying to break away from the whole Hanna Montana thing and branch out a new image for herself.

Like many examples before her, like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, these young stars had to take risks, even if it meant putting on an outrageous performance at the VMAs. People need to give into the fact that sex sells in this industry. But not all pop stars have to be overtly sexual and provocative.

Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift still maintain their girl-next-door image but even they are able to take risks by being a little edgy. Considering Taylor Swift likes to write about her ex-boyfriends, it would be cool if she wrote about cutting a guy's dick off and feeding it to the dogs, because her songs might come pretty close to that in the future.
It's not just in music that Former Teen Stars take big risks, there are also actresses who are willing to do more scandalous roles to be taken seriously. And in this day in age, Child stars and teen stars are gonna grow up and if they don't do something to wow it's new adult audience, they're going to fade out. It's about taking risk and it's not about being the next sexpot or anything. Doing these kinds of edgy roles whether if it involves nudity, albeit artistically not sleazy I must add, or brassy like playing an ax murderer or drug addict.

I mean Anne Hathaway did such heavy adult roles such as Havoc, Brokeback Mountain, and Love And Other Drugs, and now she's an Oscar winner.

There are actually two Disney stars that are branching out in a new way, which are Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens.

As they both star in the overtly raunchy, highly violent Spring Breakers. Yes, it's surprising to see Selena Gomez in a movie like this but I think it is opening doors to more mature roles. Although, she had a misstep with Getaway, I'm sure she'll get much notable roles in the future. But the real showstopper is Vanessa Hudgens. She is now getting into more gritter roles and even getting rave reviews in films like The Frozen Ground and The aforementioned Spring Breakers. She is so committed, in fact, that she is willing to chop off her hair and wear grungy clothes in the movie Gimmie Shelter. I surely think that Vanessa Hudgens is going places and is more than just a pretty face.
So let's talk about boy bands and pretty boys. The boy band fad isn't really relevant like it use to be.

The recent breakup of such bands as The Jonas Brothers and The Wanted, It shows that the world just doesn't care about this trend anymore.

And in a few years, One Direction might be on the same boat. Yeah, they might do something edgy or brassy to appeal to their older fanbase, like New Kids On The Block did in the mid-nineties, but by the end of the day, they're just not going to hit the mark. Furthermore, they're just so.....boring. What made the boy bands so popular back in the day, is because they had different personalities, different styles, different quirks. But One Direction is just not appealing enough to climb bigger mountains. Yes, they are really cute, attractive boys, but they're just so bland and interchangeable. They have the same hair, they have the same clothes, they even sing the same songs. By the next year or so, their little fangirls just won't care anymore.
Though the real hot topic of this is......

Justin Bieber

Now I really didn't have a problem with Justin Bieber at first. He was just a harmless teen idol popstar, even though, his music isn't really all that good. I mean he really didn't deserved to be mega popular in my opinion. But up until now, he has become incredibly unlikeable and annoying. Before I talk about the arrest everyone's raving about, let me explain the close calls Mr. Bieber had prior to the DUI. First, he peed in a janitor's bucket. That's strike one and it's surprising he didn't get arrested for public urination. Also, Neighbors complained about his wild antics, including his feud with fellow neighbor Keyshawn Johnston. That's strike two. Then, there was a time where he did illegal graffiti and causing a ruckus in Brazil. That's strike three. AND then there was the recent drug bust at his house, though he didn't get arrested, the cops has confiscated his personal items that are still possibly under investigation. And according to some rumors, his cellphone might have nude photos of underage girls. That's the final strike.

Now it has come to this, and there is no given fact that Justin Bieber is turning into examples such as Leif Garret, Aaron Carter, and unfortunately, Corey Haim. And I just can't help but to compare him to Chris Brown, I mean, hell, they even did a collaboration once. And then there a few additional examples with Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes, two actresses I used to like but at least they're trying to get their act together. If Justin Bieber continues on this path of destruction, there is no point of no return...And I quite frankly don't care.

As much as Justin Bieber annoys me these days, judging from the details of the arrest, I see the bigger picture.

According to news reports, Jeremy Bieber (that's Justin Bieber's father) blocked all the roadways, just so his son could drag race, EVEN THOUGH, he is under the influence of alcohol and prescription drugs. Then he later rants about how "unfair" the media is portraying Justin. Now I see who's the real idiot in this situation. Parents of child stars has got to know the limits of their son or daughter unexpected stardoms and the hardships of Hollywood. If the child star is suddenly growing up to be this badass with legal problems and reckless behavior, then it's only going to ruin their careers.

This is the wrong way of taking risks and I doubt if Justin Bieber will have any success again after Pretty boys like Austin Manhone and Ross Lynch are now taking the shot at the spotlight.
Oh well, It is what it is and it's a classic story of when you lose your reputation and that cute harmless image, Hollywood can chew you up and spit you out.