Saturday, November 7, 2015

Movie Review: April Fools Day

 Boy howdy, this movie was a waste of my time and three dollars. Yes, I said three dollars. But there is a dime a dozen where I fall into a direct-to-DVD crap like this. And this movie isn't even WORTH a dime.
I really didn't see what was the point of remaking the 1986 original. I guess because back then, everybody was so put off by the "shock" ending, forgetting that it's actually an affectionate parody of the slasher genre. The movie had since been admirable and became something of a cult classic. I never thought in a million years they would redo this. First of all, what would be the overall tone of the movie? Would it be a horror-comedy or would it be straightforward? And surprise, surprise, they were going to go with the straightforward approach. Even though the final result of the movie is unintentionally hilarious at best. But let's just be glad that it has nothing to do with the original. It just so happens to be a movie with the same name as the 1986 slasher. I'll just leave it at that because there's just nothing else to say about this movie except that it's piece of crap.
The story: A group of narcissistic, self-indulgent, self-righteous, egotistical, arrogant, pompous rich snobs decide to pull a prank on a girl which ends disastrously, resulting in her death. A year later, the group receives death threats and are always watching over their shoulders, anticipating of whoever is preparing to strike.

There's one comparison I like to point out: The characters in the original were actually likeable. Say what you want about the 1986 film but I liked it because of that. Now we have a bunch of egotistical assholes who have nothing but scorn against each other. Now I'm only going to focus on three main characters because the rest are just cliché: You have the arrogant politician, the narcissistic beauty queen, the annoying, obnoxious dimwit who always carries a camera with him, etc. So I think the characters that have the most development will get most of the luck.

We have Desiree Cartier awfully played by Taylor Cole is a raging bitch when we first meet her, treating everybody, including her friends like shit.

And even a year later after the accident, she still is a bitch. I don't care how the movie at least make her sympathetic, it just doesn't work for me. If you have a main character that's this selfish and unlikeable, you bound to not care what happens to her.

Then we have Desiree's womanizing, party boy brother Blaine played by the hunky, sexy Josh Henderson. Just like good o'l sis, Blaine is a giant asshole, particularly the type of guy that would have sex with anything with a pulse. Even after he tricked a girl and caused her death, he gets no consequences. He has some remorse for sure but what do we know, he has money and good looks and in the end, he doesn't quite care.

Torrance played by the atrocious Scout-Taylor Compton is an upcoming Hollywood starlet, how ironic. This cites Scout's second ride down the remake train, though I would say, she fist right at home into direct-to-video land. Okay, more on her character, she was obviously best friends with the girl before the group accidently murdered her. It's strange how she still friends with these people when she could've steered clear away from them. However, she puts her so-called acting skills to good use later in the movie.
Suspense? what suspense? and the death scenes are really lame and tame. For all I know this movie could've been rated PG13 or even worse PG.

And there is at least one special effect I would like to highlight where in the opening scene when the girl falls over the balcony, you can tell it's a dummy in plain sight. It's so hilarious it has to be seen to be believed.
Okay there is a twist and if you haven't seen the original you would probably know by now:
Everybody Lives! But unlike the original where it was a lighthearted prank by the friends who was doing for a test for the vacation lodge, in this version, it's a mean-spirited one put on Desiree because of how much a total jerk she was to everybody. So Torrance is holding a gun, it may seem fake but once she takes a shot at Desiree to show it's fake, it suddenly blow Desiree's brains out. Everybody freaks out. End of film. There is a alternate ending where after Desiree dies, Blaine gets thewill and drives off victoriously. You know, I'll just stick with the original ending, cause not just the audience loses, EVERYBODY DOES.
When I look at this, this isn't a horror film, it's nothing more than a basic teen soap opera. Hell, the production of the movie looked like it was made as a pilot movie. With your basic daytime soap opera lighting. And your basic daytime soap opera music. I mean the original wasn't much of a horror film but it least it had the mechanics of one.
Please guys don't check out this movie, it's a total bore. I don't even have to tell you the verdict. Go watch the original, it has likeable characters, good atmosphere, and it's actually fun to watch.
My last word: AVOID THIS.


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