Movie Review: Halloween Resurection

So Moustapha Akkad getting "drunk" off the success of Halloween H20, wanted to produce yet another sequel to the Halloween franchise. Ok, let me get the wind of this, why was this even made at all? What? When? Where? Why? How? Is all I could say. you really want to know, people? It's because of cold, hard green cash. I mean why else a film studio would ruin a franchise for the sake of box office draw.
There...there was just no reason for this movie to be made. In H20, I thought that chapter in Laurie's life was closed. In the end, she won, she conquered. That's how it was going to be. But these idiot studio execs just wanted to juice out a another for no good reason. Where to go from here, exactly? And yes, guys, I am going to rant the hell out of this.
Okay, say what you will about the curse of Michael Myers, there was at least a purpose for making it. There was actually a cliffhanger In Halloween 5 to continue on with that. H20, however, DIDN'T have a cliffhanger. In my eyes, and hopefully everyone else's, the saga was finished. The only purpose this movie has is to put stupid teenagers in the Myers' house so Michael could hack through all of them. That's basically the movie in a nutshell. But please, let me get through this, I have so much to talk about in the next few minutes.
The Story: A group of fame-seeking, money-grubbing idiotic college students decide to sign on a reality show in which they explore the Myers house, only to find themselves at the business end of the kitchen knife from Michael Myers' grip.

The cast is annoying and bland as all hell. Do you think these characters are more interesting than Laurie? Really? They're just your pointless, good-looking, run-of-the-mill horror movie characters. A big empty blanks waiting to get filled in for plot circumstances.

First, let me start with Laurie as she is the only character that's interesting at all. And furthermore, her exit from the series is what really pissed me off about the movie. So apparently,  she is now in a mental hospital. You want to know why? Well here we have a massively confusing plot thread to explain it all.

You see towards the end of the last movie, Michael somehow crushed a paramedic's vocal cord which rendered his speech and switched his clothes and so Laurie mistaken him as Michael and chopped the paramedic's head off. This is explained by a nurse at a hospital who, for some reason, knew all of the details of this. Was she there when that happened? Who knows? You see how lazy the writing is getting? but it gets worst.
After clumsily killing two security officers (and I do question why they have such a short staff but oh well), Michael goes after Laurie but, of course, she outwits him and then they have an elaborate chase scene. Soon they are up at the balcony where Laurie uses her smarts and hangs Michael up in a rope. But for some reason, the script causes her to do something stupid which prompts her to reach out and grabs Michael's mask, only for her to get stabbed in the back.

 Yes, that's right, Michael finally kills Laurie. This pissed me the fuck off. I felt that Laurie Strode was such a iconic character, I hate that she had to go out this way or go out at all. Killing off Laurie was such a cop-out on the filmmakers' end.

Poor Jamie Lee Curtis just seems so worn out and tired of it all, that she almost agreed to have the character killed off. I hate the writer for making this decision but then again, Jamie Lee Curtis is too much of a good actress to be in this shit pile that is a called a movie.
So pretty much all of the important characters from the Halloween franchise are dead. Michael has technically won. So how the story will continue? Where will it take place? Who are going to be the new main characters to be invested in? Oh god. Brace yourselves, people. It's a bunch of bland, good-looking college students who wants to be on T.V. You kill off a kickass character like Laurie for us to focus on these idiots. Wow. But trust me guys, I will run through this like water because character development is not on their résumé:

Let's see what is so interesting about Sarah?....um.....I got nothin'. Her story arc revolves around this guy she meets online, who turns out to be a sophomore in high school. So basically, this is used as a plot device later in the climax of the movie.

That's pretty much the importance of her character. She tries to come off as this shy, good girl but the actress is just not convincing enough to be believable. There is just no personality to her whatsoever. A small plank of wood would replace her and nothing would change.

Deckard is, like I said before, is a plot device. Most of his scenes just have him in front of the computer with a group of friends while trying to save Sarah from Michael.

Jen is Sarah's ditzy blond best friend....that's her character. She's a ditz...that is all. Katee Sackhoff is now a better and well-known actress. So it's likely she'll forget that this was one of her earlier film roles.

Sean Patrick Thomas is in this movie but I totally forgot his character's name but then again who cares.

Thomas Ian Nicholas was riding high off of the success of American Pie, who would've thought he would end up in a low-brow slasher movie like this? hmm. I also don't remember the character's name or remember the character himself. Wow. You see how forgettable these character's are? But oh no, I'm not done yet kiddies. I am just reaching the top of the iceberg.

Donna and Jim are just your clichéd hot couple that can't keep their hands off each other. I mean what's more there to say?

I can't believe Tyra Banks of all people is in this movie. Who would've thought that she would later host a successful reality show in a year later? Basically, all she does in the movie is shake her ass, sip on cappuccino, drink wine, and get hung on a ceiling. So her role was nothing more than glorified cameo, of course. What a waste.

And now I present to you the most annoying, most despicable, most loathed character in horror film history, Freddie Harris played by Busta Rhymes. I guess the reason why he was cast in this was to appeal to teenagers. But let's be honest here, I just don't think he's that great of an actor. Not only that but we have to deal with the over-the-top antics of the character Freddie. By the way, Busta Rhymes is quite the scene stealer. I'm talkin Matthew McConaughey in TCM 4 scene stealer. This guy chews every scene he's in and it just gives me a headache. Okay, I would like to call out this one mundane scene where Michael and once he runs into the real Michael Myers, thinking he's a crew member, Freddie yells at him. You want to know what Michael does? Nothing! he lets this guy yell at him for about a minute and walks off. Is this a comedy? Is this what It gears towards?

Now to put more salt into the wound, Freddie turns out to be the hero of the movie. Okay, why is this character so special? he was originally supposed to die in the alternate ending of the movie and Deckard save Sarah but for some reason the test audiences like the character and rooted for him to live. Seriously? Can I say that the test audiences are idiots? This guy is nothing but a money-grubbing, self-entitled, manipulative jerk. Do you really think that qualifies as a hero? in a horror movie, no less? Okay to make this short, Freddie is probably the worst things in this movie.

Oh dear god, Michael. Just as he got his mojo back in the last movie, Michael has turn back into a typical white-washed standard slasher villain. It's almost to the point of being a comic relief. I really shouldn't be saying that but if you get kung-fued by Busta Rhymes of all people, then you might as well be a cartoon character.

Speaking of cartoon character, do you see the new mask they put on him? What's with the eyebrows? it's like they drawn them on with magic markers. By far the worst mask I've seen in the franchise. Sorry there's just not much to say about Michael. He's pretty much derailed at this point and this pretty much dampened his legacy.
I have no idea Rick Rosenthal, who I thought did a good job in Halloween 2, agreed to direct this movie. I just feel he's too good for this.

Half of the scenes are shown in found footage and it's extremely distracting. All of the suspense in this movie is lost because they keep going back and forth at some stupid teen party all the while showing the movie in found footage style in different camera angles. There is no point into being invested at all, you just have to stare at the screen until it's over. And don't get me started on the "practical" effects. Here's a demonstration:

Yeah.

 

 

And most of the movie was set in soundstage, so in that particular scene where Freddie kicks Michael out of the window, you can clearly see the stage ceiling high up. The movie's budget was 13 million dollars. 13 MILLION!
Now for some Trivia, I guess:

• Jamie Lee Curtis yet again wears a wig with Rick Rosenthal in the director's chair while the opening scene is set in a hospital. It's the same scenario in Halloween 2. But I'll tell you one good thing about this, at least they gave her better looking wig.

• Part of the genesis of the film was to acknowledge the franchise internet following.

• The filmmakers once asked Danielle Harris to have a role in the movie but it never came into fruition.

• The earlier scripts had a  lot promise, especially the ones involving John Tate but for some reason they choose this one with a stupid internet subplot and Freddie Harris kung-fuing Michael Myers.

• Brad Loree once auditioned for the role of Jason in Freddy Vs. Jason.

• This movie was supposed to have a completely new story, just like what they did in Halloween 3. But for SOME REASON the fans petitioned an internet rally to bring back Michael Myers. Well guys, you got what you wanted and I'm sorry to say this but you're at fault for this.

What a trainwreck of a movie. It's just sad that the movie series ended on with this. Ugh, I mean all it is is just a piece of crap. It's also hilariously painful to watch, even more so than Part 5 and Part 6 combined. And you want to know what's even more sad is that this was Moustapha Akkad's last produced Halloween movie. This is the movie that put in a nail in the coffin for the series until the obvious Rob Zombie reboot. But for me, I will just wipe my mind off of this. Pretend that this never been made or existed for that  matter. In my eyes, this movie is left in the bargain pile of garbage, never to be seen.
My Last Word: Avoid at all cost.



 

Movie Review: Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later

Picking up the pieces of an already broken franchise, Moustapha Akkad once again tries to reclaim the series back what it once was. However, he brought an unlikely star along for the new project. And it turns out it's none other than....Jamie Lee Curtis.
the project would be a love letter to fans, not just some bloody gorefest. It was going to be a slick and more suspense-laden. The creators behind it even took the risk of ignoring parts 4,5, and 6, and to be honest, you guys, this was a GOOD idea, because I never really cared for those sequels that much, especially 5 and 6 which ruined the franchise completely. So now there is a fresh new story with a fresh new concept. And since this came out during the Scream era, it was definitely the right time to show the glory days of the original.
I like this movie. Some people might dismiss it as a scream copycat but that's not the case with me, it was a nice, slick entertaining throwback to the original Halloween and earlier slasher from the decade. It's got a great, charismatic cast, good writing, great story, and brilliant directing. It's a big step up from the last film and I greatly appreciated that. It's by far the more decent Halloween sequel in the franchise.
The Story: It's been 20 years after the disappearance of notorious serial killer Michael Myers and Laurie Strode, the once terrorized 17 year old girl, has now grown older and wiser, changed her name, and moved to another state. But somehow the past keeps coming back to haunt her. She tires to live her life the best way she can, however, a certain person from her demented past has come back and even the score. So Laurie must protect her teenaged son and his friends before Michael strikes again.

The cast was actually likeable and pretty solid, though, there's not much to say about the teen characters but they were cool enough.

Jamie Lee Curtis is back and better than ever! It takes guts for an actress to reprise this kind of roles cause unlike some big stars they would disown the fact of ever starring in a horror movie but Jamie Lee Curtis, she takes it with stride, putting a lot of passion into her character.

Laurie is kickass! this a woman that has been to hell and back and she isn't going to take it anymore. Once victimized and even disturbed by the memory of her long lost brother, she's like screw this and takes charge. And boy does she.

The fight between her and Michael was epic. Sure, it has it's silly moments but it was worth seeing Laurie finally kicking some ass and bring in the pain on Michael.

Alan Arkin was very charismatic as Will Brennan, even though there's not much to say about his character other than the usual love interest for Laurie. To think of it, he kind of reminds of an older version of Jimmy. Particularly because he spends so much time trying to get in Laurie's pants. Overall, He seems like a nice guy with a few funny moments.

Let's see what's interesting about LL Cool J's character....Not that much really. He basically spends half of the movie reading a novel he wrote to his wife. The scenes are amusing enough, but it doesn't add anything to the story. Though he does sneak in John Tate where most of the climax takes place, so he is somewhat useful.
So here are the teen character, though the most important is John Tate and Molly Cartwell. The other two are fine but nothing really too memorable about them:

John Tate is supposed to be a slight contrast to Laurie, who was a quiet, responsible good girl at 17 where as John who is the same age, 20 years later, is more rebellious, outspoken and assertive. Him and Laurie have a sort of complex Mother-Son relationship, if not complicated. Laurie is very overprotective of John, so it makes sense for him to rebel against her. Soon, Laurie becomes more reasonable and lets John go have fun with his friends. But only to find himself in the same position as his mother once was on that same Halloween night.

Josh Hartnett did a really good job. Not to mention, he's really handsome and charming as the mischievous bad boy.

Molly Cartwell, however, signifies the comparison between her and younger Laurie. She's around the same age, she's a good girl/girl scout, she has good grades, is intelligent, caring, nice and all around likeable. There is also an homage to the original where she looks in the window and spots Michael cemented her final girl status next to Laurie.

Future Oscar Nominee Michelle Williams really brought the aura of the Girl Next Door. She was so likeable in fact that it makes you care for her till the end.

There's not much development on Charles and Sarah but they are at least likeable and funny as Annie and Lynda, So I could at least give them some credit other  than being your usual horror movie victims.

Michael Myers is new and improved and I never been more appreciated. What's so great about him is that he's actually scary and seems like an actual threat. This villain who lives of on death and destruction.

So is Michael is back to his roots of being this dark entity, this evil who manifests himself and not some copycat of other horror villians.

The one scene I love the most is when Michael and Laurie comes face to face, good vs. evil, all the while she is trying save John and Molly. It's probably one of the most iconic shots of 1990's. How awesome is that? So I definitely like this version of Michael. He's not too bulky, not too powerful, just a guy who happens to be evil and a bit impeccable.
Steve Miner was the perfect choice on the director's chair. Mostly known for his work on Friday The 13th part 2 and 3(connection!), Miner was able to capture the feel of the original. Say what you will about the man, he knows how to craft suspense. He actually worked with Wes Craven and Sean Cunningham once, so I think the man knows what he's doing.

The scenes that I enjoy the most is the climatic fight between Michael and Laurie and the triumphant  ending. It is glorious. You think it's going to end but Laurie is like, "Hell no!", takes a cop's gun, steals the ambulance truck, runs over Michael and chops his head off:

That is one of the best horror movie endings ever! who's with me on that?
Now for some Trivia.

• Janet Leigh makes an appearance and for all of you who don't know, Janet Leigh is Jamie Lee Curtis's mother. Her character in the movie is somewhat based on Marion from Pyscho, the movie which inspired Halloween. She even has the same car the character drives in the film.

• John Carpenter actually was on board to work on the project but financial disagreements caused him to back on it.

• Kevin Williamson was offered to co-wrote the script. So you can sort see a Scream influence on the film.

• The working title of the film was once called Halloween 7: The Revenge Of Laurie Strode. Rightfully so.

• The first Halloween movie that doesn't take place in Haddonfield.

• Kane Hodder (Jason Voorhees) once auditioned for the role of Michael but was rejected.

• The movie was supposed to have Michael speak for the first time in the ending but  Moustapha Akkad scrapped it, so he could fill in the continuity for the 8th sequel. A sequel that I wished never happened.

The film came in third at the box office but despite not reaching number 1, it still ranked in 55 million domestically.
Again, I love this movie. THIS is how they should've ended the series. It seems like such a definitive sequel. I mean the filmmakers actually put their full head and heart into this. Some small portion of people don't really care for this but for most people, including myself, think this is by far the best sequel in the franchise. It was definitely refreshing to see Jamie Lee Curtis reprise the role that made her famous. And what I love most about this is that  they actually paid their respects to the franchise including offering their blessing to Donald Pleasance and his character Dr. Loomis for how they both contribute the series. I thought that was pretty cool.
I repeat, this is how the series could've ended. Could've ENDED. I mean how could the series get any better after that? and to be honest this is the best the series could offer. This should've been Halloween 4 and the series would stop there.
THIS is the Halloween sequel everybody waited for and that's how it will always be. Period.
My Last Word: Watch it! It's so worth it.

 

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation(1994, 1995, 1997)

Before I start this review, I would  like to talk about the trend of movie stars starring in horror movies before they were famous. For example: Jesse Esinberg from Camp Hell, Jennifer Lawrence in House At The End Of The Street, and Mila Kunis from American Pyscho 2.
Now I present to you The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation or The Return Of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre starring Oscar Winners Renee Zelwegeer and Matthew McConaughey.
The two actors were publicly embarrassed for ever being in this film. When the movie was re-released in 1997, Matthew McConaughey's agent sued Columbia Pictures for even releasing the movie at all. Renee Zelweger used "I was young and needed the money" excuse instead. So yeah, everybody doesn't like this movie. And you see all those years I listed on my movie review title? Because it had a difficult release history, which I would further in the trivia segment.
Now what do I think of this movie? I don't know. I don't know what to think of this movie. I'm spilt in the middle whether it's so bad, it's good or so bad, it's horrible. It just have so many WTF moments that makes me scratch my head every time. It's over-the-top, outrageous, and just plain notoriously bad.
The Story: Four teenagers, having got back from the prom, are driving off....somewhere. The movie doesn't explain. When suddenly they get into a car wreck with another driver. So once they go find help, they are suddenly attacked by Leatherface and his family. It's a simple story, really, but that's all I can fall back on.

The cast is...strange. Or bad if you want me to say. And let me tell you the performances are BAD but it's just how the actors deliver their line and portray their characters is what makes the experience of watching this movie surreal.
First before I get to the main characters, let's get Jenny's dumb friends out of the way.

First there's Jenny's boyfriend Sean. Um...I got nothin'. I mean what is there to say about the guy? His character is so thin, he's the first one killed off. He's also...kind of slow in the head, kind of like he's on some strong herbal drugs. That's all got really.

Here's Barry, Heather's cheating boyfriend. He's a douchebag. Though, the actor tries too hard at playing one. There's not much development about him except he complains a lot and he's pretty much a jerk to everybody. That's his character, he's the jerk. Moving on.

And now you have Heather, who is probably the most annoying of the bunch. She is, what I call, the female equivalent of Franklin, she's whiny, she complains, and she also conveys this high-pitched valley girl accent that would make your ears bleed.

She's also self-explanatory, which is unnecessary for a dumb character like this. Apparently, she's a bitch but she's more a ditz if ask me.

But boy! Is this girl put in the ringer. First, she's impaled on a meat hook, gets her tongue bitten off, set on fire, then finally have her head crushed. It made me feel bad for a character who was the most annoying, even more annoying than Leatherface. Even though she's put through a lot of crap, she still is irritating and dumb to me.

Just to get him out of the way, you have W.E. who spouts out quotes from famous people. That's all he does. Do his brother's bidding and speaks famous quotes from historical figures. Guys, I know you think I'm being lazy with this but the characters in this are poorly written, so how far am I gonna go?
Okay, here's the important characters:

Jenny. What can I say about Jenny? She's a typical final girl. There could've been times where she would be a badass but the movie refuses to do that. There also could've been times where she could easily escape or get help but is unable to do so because of her idiotic choices. She gets caught so many times I just didn't care anymore. That's how lousy the suspense is. Though in the scene where she finally stands up to Vilmer, tells him off and demands to leave, everybody else is like, just by the look on their faces, "Okay....you can go if you want to, we won't stop you." It's just too freaking hilarious to be seen. It's like the writers didn't know what to do at that point. You see where this movie is going, people?

Jenny could've been a strong character, however....she's just isn't. Renee Zelweger  did an ALRIGHT job, you certainly can't believe this woman would be nominated or win an Oscar one day. She starts off weak but gets better by the end. I really don't see Renee Zelweger as a scream queen but at least her acting is a bit better than everybody else's.

Matthew McConaughey as Vilmer is outrageously over-the-top to the point of being a cartoon character. In his more quiet moments, there are times where he is really chilling though most of his acting is straight out outlandish that it overshadows the fact that he's a really good actor. But it's just bad direction in my opinion.

I would like to note that there is a strange sort of violent/sexual nature between him and Jenny. He's kind of stuck between whether he wants to kill her or make out with her. It's strange, creepy, and unsettling if you ask me.

What most fans complain about is that Vilmer does most of the killing. So yeah, the character is pretty much the scene stealer of the movie, chewing up every scenery that he can and taking everyone else's spotlight.

Darla was probably the funniest character in the movie. She kind of reminds me of Jennifer Aniston. if she was in family full of cannibal maniacs that is. I like the fact that the actress knew what kind of movie she was in and roll with it.

What's strange is Darla is actually likeable and has a lot more personality than the teen protagonists. That's really saying something. Overall, Toni Peresky was really entertaining and the made the experience of watching this a little more enjoyable.

Ugh, here is Leatherface. I really don't need to give a grand introduction about him because it comes to show that in the 90's, our modern day famous horror icons begin to derail. Throughout the movie, all Leatherface does is whine and scream. WHINE and SCREAM. I can't believe this is the same guy that gave me nightmares as kid. He is such a wimp in this version. And what's even worse, he kills one person, however, it's not out of brutality, it's more out of panic. How lame is that.

Most of the complaints, and there a lot of complaints, is that Leatherface is mostly drag as evident in the poster. That's pretty much the basis of his character is that he's a transvestite. Doesn't really bother me, well only a little, but what most people don't know is that in a deleted scene of the original, he wears a "pretty woman" mask and is seen priming up make up. So yeah, that's all I got to say really. I feel there is no importance to his character anymore. All he does is whine, scream, waves his chainsaw around, and stay in the background most of the time. What more can I say?
Can I add this for a minute? I kept wondering who the hell wrote and directed this movie? I mean the way it shot, the writing, the dialogue, it's all terrible! then to my surprise, it's the same person wrote the 1974 original. Kim Henkel did a good job at conveying a simple plot and turning it into a creepy and effective story. But as the result of this, it's just hard to explain. Okay, there is, you guess it, a twist.

So it turns out the family works for the illuminati because once the film leans towards it's climax, all of sudden, a French guy in a suit arrives at the door and would definitely guess he's part of secret government agency. So apparently they're murdering and eating people for money. Oh, let me scratch that, they don't eat people since Darla is shown ordering food at a pizza place. You see how dumb this all is?
But oh no, I haven't even reached the tip of the iceberg. Here I present to you one of the strangest endings in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre film:

I seriously don't know what Kim Henkel or the other creators of this movie was smoking that day but that was one of the funniest out of the blue moments I've seen in a horror film. Hands down.
Now for some trivia.

*The film first screened at the South By Southwest Film And Media Conference in 1995, but only briefly. Columbia Pictures at least tried to distribute the film but it also got released on video a the same time in October. THEN two years later in 1997, the studio did a failed attempt to release the film at limited  time to cash in on the success of Renee Zelweger and Matthew McConaughey. THEN it was released on VHS in September 1998 and only for the DVD to be released in July of 1999. Whew! Can I be honest here? This film had no reason to be released in theaters at all. It just has a cheap direct-to-video feel, why would they even bother giving a crap about this movie?
* There is an extended cut of the film which features Jenny's abusive stepfather in the opening scene, more dialogue between Heather and Barry (ugh!), and a longer conversation between Darla and Jenny. The only known release of the extended cut is the 2009 lionsgate Canadian DVD version.
*Marilyn Burns, John Dugan, and Paul A. Partan all make cameo appearances at the end of the film.
So there's Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. Boy, what a piece of shit. If you read my last review of this, I obviously enjoyed this movie for all the wrong reasons. But what can I say? It's a love it or hate it film. It's really just a time waster, a background movie. And trust me, I've seen even worse crap with even worse writing. So prepare yourself for the next so-called "sequel."
All in all, it's nothing to look back to.
My last word: it's your choice. This IS a bad movie but if you like bad movies, this could definitely fit in with your collection.