Hatchet(2006)

Boy, was this movie a hoot or what? I have never had so much fun watching this, I mean I literally felt like I was twelve years old again watching a classic slasher film.
For those of you out there, it's not a reconstruction of slashers from the golden era(the deaths were handled more crafty and more realistically during that era), it's more of the reconstruction of the awfully cheesy and over the top slasher of the mid to late eighties. It's overall comedic effect is the film's charm and we have a killer that could stand over Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees any day.
Here's the story: A group of tourists are suddenly stranded on abandoned Louisiana swamp while going on a boat tour. unknownbest to them, a hulking, disfigured boogeyman is out to catch it's prey.
The acting is fantastic. Yes, some of the characters can be annoying, stupid, and outright mundane but some of them had their charm along the way. And besides that's what you expect from these movies: you just can't wait to see these people get killed. Oh yes, the kills. I will definitely get to that later.
Joel Moore was simply adorable as Ben. Even though, his character his a bit whiny and uptight, you still feel sympathy for him. Tamara Feldman did a fine job as tortured heroine Mary-Beth. Deon Richmond was witty as Ben's wise-cracking best friend, Marcus. But the true standout is Mercedes Macnab's hilarious performance as inept dumb blonde Mitsy. She was the true comedian, especially scenes involving partner in crime Joleigh Fioreavanti, who had decent comedic skills as well.
Parry Shen who plays the tour director responsible for the aforementioned plot was....kind of annoying and eventually the most unfunny character in the movie.  That's all.
Now let's get to the killer Victor Crowley played by hot daddy Kane Hodder. The killer is awesome. Not only is he intimidating in his hulking appearance, he can kill someone with his bare hands! Yes, the kills, which are insanely over-the-top. The deaths are cringe-worthy but it's not meant to be taken seriously because it's so unrealistic.
The foggy setting of the swamp are very atmospheric, which gives it the feel of the golden age slasher. The suspense is pretty head on and the pace is pretty fast all while getting the story going and developing the characters well enough.
So there you have it, a bloody fun slasher rollercoaster thrill ride that will both make you laugh and scream.
Last word: a definite must see!

Detention(2011)

I actually had fun watching this. Even though it's not everybody's cup of tea, it's fairly entertaining in it's own right. It's starts off as a quirky teen comedy in the vien of Scott Pilgrim and it's tends to be a parody of not only teen slasher films but the whole teen genre as well.
Here's the story: High school students in different social backgrounds are placed in detention under suspension that one of them are responsible for the murder of two prominiet high school students all the while a homicidal pyscho dressed as the serial killer from the fictional Cinderhella movie are stalking the hallways.
The acting was excellent and many of the actors had great comedic timing. The strongest performance out of all of them has got to be Shanely Caswell and she's many of the final girls we relate to.  Josh Hutcherson has grown up to be quite handsome gentlemen. And this is before his post-hunger games hunk transformation. He was, of course, very charming and delightful throughout. Spencer Locke was also very charming as the 90's refrencing cheerleader even though her charcter was something of a bitch. It was nice to see Dane Cook playing something different other than his alpha-male roles.
I have to hand it to you, the Riley chase scenes were quite susupenseful and death scenes are very over-the-top and violent even though you don't get to see much killing. Which brings me to the second half of the film. It's bascially turned into a sci-fi-time traveling adventure and that when the movie became a little too....soft. Even for a SLASHER. It's basically all over the place and there are too many plots that you just can't catch up. But I like this movie and it does, of course, has it's clever moments. So you just have to watch this with an open mind without dwelling too deep on the story.
Last word: it's not for everyone, but for anyone looking for good-ole fashion spaced out fun, this is the movie for you.

Happy Halloween!

Movie Review: The Cabin In The Woods

Finally, I get to come across this after much anticipation and i have to say the wait was worth it. Created by Joss Whedon known for Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse, gives us a new take on the horror genre. Usually in today's horror, it's tired, overused, and the least bit interesting but this movie seeem to change all of our minds. The filmmakers takes the basic horror movie formula and takes it into a completely different level, putting one horror genre after another. But before I put this review into play, I will have to warn you that there are some major spoilers involved to keep this going, so let's begin.
Here's the story: Five ordinary college students become the unwilling pawns to a secret organization who turns them into horror movie sterotypes, ultimately falling into a real horror movie they can't seem to get out of.
Joss Whedon loves to subvert and deconstruct typical horror movie tropes and make of his own. For example: You have the handsome jock, who is very smart and capable of being the leader but is downgraded into being the dumb jock by the scientist's manipualtions. then you have the virginal heroine who turns out not to be so virginal since she had a(though regretable) affair with her college professor but in this played out horror movie plot she is programmed to be so. Next, you have a sassy, witty young woman, who has turned into the dumb blonde sterotype but she is netheir blonde nor dumb. Much afterwards, you have a jock with an average I.Q. but somehow tunred into the smart guy with high intelligence. Last but least, you have the stoner who is immune to the artifical gases that the scientists implanted and is therefore AWARE of what's going on unlike most stoner characters in such films who just sit in the background, waiting to be killed like idiots.
The acting was great, especially from Kristen Connolly, who plays the "Final Girl" role in perfect spades and Frank Kranz, who's character type is usually annoying, is rather funny and charming. The two actors also give great nods to Willow(Buffy the Vampire Slayer Series) and Shaggy(Scobby Doo) to a T. You may see some notable faces in this movie such as Amy Acker, which I was delighted to see since Fred was one of my favorite characters on Angel. Then you have Grey's Anatomy hunk Jesse Williams, his blue eyes are certainly enchanting and that body is to die for. Last but not least we have the very sexy, hot Chris Hemsworth and once again we get to see his perfectly sculpted body but for only one scene.
The Plot is very smart and surprising to say at least, which will lead to the big ol' spoiler so don't say I warned you.
The reason why the secret organization is inventing the whole horror movie scenario is to stop the ancient one(meaning powerful gods) from regaining it's wrath, thus ending the world. So in order to prevent this, they please them by getting a bunch of youngsters and killing them one by one in a ritual order. So this isn't soely for anybody's entertainment anymore, this is for the fate of mankind. Now that's pretty damn jarring! But guess whose the director of all this....Sigourney Weaver. Yes, that's right. Freakin' Ripley is behind all this. Totally unexpected indeed.
But the really big wham is towards the ending, in which a character must choose between sacrifcing himself in order to save humanity or be able to live, even though he'll die along with the rest of earth's population. Guess what he does: He chooses to live, ending the world entirely. And you're stuck between whether to root for him or be pissed off by his otherwise selfish decison.
 It was a blast to watch. Throughout the movie, I just felt something big was going to happen and oh was I in for a surprise....blood, gore and monsters in a heavy, dramatic climax! and don't forget the obvious shot-outs to other horror films.
You can see Josh Whedon put his heart and soul into this project and it payed off with an amazing quality.
My last word: A classic examation of horror films which is a classic itself.

Special Announcement: Manhattan Girls Is Finally Published On Amazon!

This the finished cover if you try and search it anywhere on the website. I"m not exactly getting any readers right because I have to find unique ways to promote or make anybody seek attention to it. It's not going to be easy, even though this is only the first book and there will be many others along the way. I will warn you though, I was in a pretty big rush to publish it, probably too excited for my own good, but besides all that, don't judge me if I have a little errors with certain words on the prolouge of Gwen's Dairy, I made many corrections on that but don't scorn the whole book just because of  a few mistakes, I worked really hard it and hope it will at least be decent. I revisioned this book at least two times in a span of five years, so at least that will give me a some credit, right? So here is Manhattan Girls published and ready to read on Amazon Kindle. Write a review if you have the chance.
Side note: Comment on the Cover if you like it or not.

Movie Review: Buffy The Vampire Slayer

If you thought 80's teen films were cheesy, the teen films from the early 90's would surely hold a candle to it, with it's colorful fashions and over-the-top dance music.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer pretty much glorifies this to the end.
I loved the TV series(only the first three seasons, season five was okay) and when I first watched this, I was only a wee eight-years-old. Yes, people I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV series since I was seven years old which lead me to this. Crazy, right? Back then, I actually enjoyed it and didn't see how cheesy was and as a kid I pretty much had fun watching it. Nowadays, I see how incredibly campy it is though still fun in a way. For instance, just compare it to the television series and see how different in tone they are. And you see how the TV series is better in terms of quality.
So you all know the story by now: A vapid valley girl named Buffy soon learns that she is the chosen one, slayer of the vampires, and with the help of a mysterious master is trained in for battle. Meanwhile, the evil lord of vampires and his army is planning on invading the school dance. It is only up to Buffy to stop the awakening of these blood-sucking fiends.
I would say Kristy Swanson was terrific. You can see why she was so memorable in this role, playing the characters in two parallels: The ditzy, valley girl type and the kickass, action girl heroine. She also parallels into the comedy and seriousness of the character, which was also done well by Sarah Michelle Gellar in the TV show.
Luke Perry was also fun to watch. At first, I thought his character showed no purpose other than just being the heroine's love interest but then I saw how much flexibility he put into the character and saw how likeable he was. You would think an acclaimed actor like Donald Sutherland would give off a hammy performance but he was profoundly low-key, providing his character with a dry sense of humor which made his presence all the more enjoyable. Paul Rubens AkA Pee Wee Herman, on the other hand, gives us a top-notch campy performance as the villain's flamboyant right hand man. It was pretty jarring to see him in a role like this and ever since then he's been taking quirky roles like this. Probably it had something to do with that incident that sort of changed his image a bit....okay, moving on. I will totally not end this segment without mentioning Hillary Swanks' performance or even David Arquette's before his Scream heyday. I pretty much have to say that Hilary gave it all even though it was a relatively small role. David Arquette takes a ride down the campy, hammy train as one of the villain's henchmen. This one too is a small role but memorable at best. And without further ado, You can catch a young Ben Affleck in a blink it or miss it role.
Although the movie is mainstream, it still has that b-movie feel, giving the notion it really isn't taking itself too seriously, which in my opinion, kind of works. I would like to point out a particular scene where Buffy steals a biker's motorcycle while chasing a vampire in pursuit. The biker calls her the d-word just for that. Just to let you know it was still fresh for female action heros to take the lead in film, since this was ongoing from the 70s to the 80s, it was still interesting and fresh. But I have to call out on the movie's script though, just because a woman is empowered, doesn't make her lesbian. But this was film in Los Angeles back in the early nineties. So yeah, it holds the message that women Especially valley girls can't hold their own sword on their own. However, Unfortunate Implications aside, it's still an enjoyable(though unsuccessful) 90's gem.
Final word: It may not hold a candle to the TV show but it's a cult classic in it's own right.

Housewives At Their Worst

Here I present to you the talentless stars of reality T.V. Mostly coming from the Real Housewives franchise. God, do these women really think they can catch i tune? I surely do not. So please let us begin the horror show.....

Gretchen Rossi-Revelation
So botox beauty queen aka Gretchen Rossi decided to broadcoast her ludicrious song to date, "Revelation". As you can see she clearly trying to emote her face since her face is alway, always tight while lip-synching trying to act like a twenty-five year old. Well, news flash sweetheart, you're not twenty-five anymore and this song is proof you have lost your way. The plastic surgery may have alter your face and body but it sure as hell didn't alter your singing voice:

Danielle Staub- Real Close
Oh my god, what a trainwreck! It's one thing to not know how to handle a business, but singing talents? This woman is way beyond her limits here. Clearly the soundtrack is singing for her. Can I say EPIC FAIL. And don't even get me started on her dancing. She barely even does. She just stands there sashying while the guido-like dancers fawn over her. Then there's the other singer who, of course, upstages her and doing all the real dancing. Maybe she should just to leave it to her, cause seriously, Danielle Staub dosen't have a chance in the music business:

Kim Zolciak-Google Me
Pure Awful. How can Andy Cohen allow this? Hell I thought "Tardy for the Party" was a real hoot but this...There is no way to describe it's insipidness. It's truly a poor way to market yourself. Who's gonna goggle you Kim Zolciak? To see how many surgeries you had? To see how much those cheap wigs cost? Unfortuntely, nobody's gonna google you for your musical talents, that's for sure:

Countess Luann-Money Can't Buy Class
It can't buy you talent. Or good production values. How can someone with so much money have a cheap-looking video? For one thing, she's not putting any effort in her voice. Even the bad autotone can't save her. And who is she trying to mimick? Madonna of all people? There's one thing money can buy you, a reality TV show. So just do us a favor and stick to that:

Special Mention:
Hedi Montag-Body Language
Technically, Hedi Montag is not "Real Housewife." Therefore, she is a housewife, none-the-less and WAS on reality TV show. And you know, the plastic surgery thing of course. So there. Being the(ex?) wife of Spencer Pratt can pretty uneventful. So why not have a music career? Well, no. Not a good idea. And this performance proves to be Hedi's worst. I was afraid all that dancing would cause her breast implants to fall out. By the way, it seems she's having a really hard time even catching up with their choreography. I guess being a Britney Spears-wannabe isn't her for'te. Speaking of which Britney's VMA performance is much better by comparison. And that's saying something:

So there you have it, The talentless trainwrecks on reality television. And just to let you know, just because you're on TV, dosen't mean you gain any musical charms...