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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

A Nightmare On Elm Street Ranking

 


Aw, yes, we have reached to the first boogeyman who affected my childhood, the one and only Freddy Kruger. This is one of my all time favorite horror franchises but sadly, this series also has it's ups and downs. It's a shame because based on the concept of it's premise, it has so much potential. Not to mention, Freddy Kruger is one of the most recognizable villains in the past century and some part of me wished he was utilized well throughout the series. Though I still enjoyed some entries of the list, I have to sort out the good and the bad. So let's begin, shall we:


9. A Nightmare On Elm Street (The Remake) - Holy Crap! This remake is the worst of the worst. It's stale, it's boring, and it's mind-numbingly awful. The filmmakers totally missed the point of what made the original so effective. It's a very slow, methodical, and psychological film, and although the remake attempts to replicate that, it's bombarded with flash cuts, jump scares, and music video edits. It never gives you time to breathe or even engage with the atmosphere. It starts, then it stops, and that's it. It's downright horrible filmmaking and a total headache to watch. Even though I think Jackie Earle Haley is a good actor, he does not make a good Freddy Kruger in my opinion. Though it's not all his fault, it's the awful script that brings him down. Although the main cast aren't bad actors themselves, their characters are extremely bland, the worst being Nancy herself. And lastly, let me repeat, CGI is not scary and there's a ton of it in this film. It just strips off all of the personality of the original, making this the most bland, insipid, uninspired, and unnecessary horror remake of all time. 


8. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare - This was the film that finally put the nail in the coffin for the series. Turning Freddy into all out jokester is not a good idea in my opinion. I know some people are fans of jokester Freddy but I'm not one of them. Freddy is a full-on parody of himself and it's kind of embarrassing to watch. I get that Robert Englund is naturally funny and charismatic but that's not what Freddy Kruger is. He's supposed to be terrifying with a very dark sense of humor. Instead, the filmmakers gave him the Wile E. Coyote approach. There's actually a scene where Freddy sets up a trap and literally looks at the camera. It's fucking ridiculous. Not only that, the writing is equally bad. I just don't picture Freddy as this 1950s family man. It doesn't make sense to the narrative and doesn't make sense to the character who's supposed to be this working-class weirdo who hides out in the depths of the boiler room. Nothing about this movie works. The side characters are goofy, the deaths, instead of creative and elaborate, are cartoonish and silly, the main characters are either bland or unlikable, including the main heroine who happens to be Freddy's daughter, and lastly, it's a dense and unmemorable film. This is, hands down, the worst of the series. Period. 


7. A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child - This one is more disappointing than outright bad. This is where the series was going to go back to its darker roots and, in the beginning, it had potential. But as soon as Freddy showed up, it all went downhill from there. The tone is very uneven. It doesn't know whether it wants to be like the original or follow up with the much campier fourth film. Whereas the special effects from the fourth film were the highlights, the effects for this one are its low point. It looks like something out of Pee-Wee's Playhouse or even Goosebumps. Yes, it looks that juvenile and if Claymation can be used to great effect (Like the early Evil Dead movies I might add), it isn't here. Although the deaths are somewhat creative, Dan's being the most brutal in my opinion, the execution is clearly lacking. Greta's death could be horrifying if it wasn't cut and less comical, but the final result is ludicrous. They literally puff up her cheeks to make her look like a Muppet, it's baffling. Mark's death could be great too if the execution wasn't poor. The filmmakers had the gall to have Freddy riding a freakin' skateboard, it was asinine. And Super Freddy? Were they kidding? I think they were kidding. Who thought that was a good idea? Freddy is probably at his most obnoxious. He's not a complete self-parody like he will be in part 6 but he's heading up there. Not to mention, this was one of Freddy's worst makeup jobs. He looks like an ancient old man with clown makeup. The overall rushed nature of the film squandered the potential that this should've had but without any thought process or a finished script, what can you do? Lisa Wilcox's performance is probably the best thing about this movie where everything else such as the character writing, special effects, and Freddy falls flat, she remains unscathed. Other than that, its a forgettable sequel with nothing else to offer. 


6. A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - Although this was an entertaining Nightmare sequel, compared to the previous film, this really isn't all that great. This came out during the writer's strike and just a year after Dream Warriors, so it's very apparent that the movie was going to have some problems and one of those problems was killing off the Dream Warriors in the most unceremonious way. At this point, the fans have grown attached to these characters and the way they're used here was just uncalled for. First of all, they dumb down Kincaid and Joey in order for Freddy to be easy prey for them. For some reason, they don't believe Kirsten when they're actually inside Freddy's house in Kirsten's dream, and, for some reason, Joey thinks that since the pipes aren't hot that means Freddy won't be coming back. Oooookay...Also when Kirsten shows the bite wound from Kincaid's dog, they still don't believe her, and it's kind of frustrating to watch. Second of all, the chemistry between them feels off. Instead of a heartfelt reunion between friends who bonded through trauma, there is this looming tension between Kirsten and the boys. This has to do with the recasting of Tuesday Knight, which didn't sit well with Rodney Eastman and Ken Sagoes. Third of all, when they were killed off,  the Dream Warriors were treated more like an afterthought, which was very disrespectful in my opinion. Nancy's death in Part 3, was poignant and heartfelt, and she died with dignity, saving Kirsten from Freddy's grip. But when The Dream Warriors are killed, they die with no dignity at all. Kirsten, the last kid of the Elm Street mob, doesn't even get a funeral scene. Instead, it's a rather cliched scene of Alice looking at home videos and a brief glimpse of her gravestone. What a waste. Now I know the special effects are the film's highlight and it's definitely an achievement but there's this one particular scene that rubs me the wrong way. The dog-pissing fire scene is one of them. Who's idea was that and why? Why not just get one of the cars in the scene to drip oil, creating a ring of fire around Freddy's grave? That would've been way much better. However, one of the worst aspects of the movie is that the Dream Warriors are killed in favor of some bland and forgettable characters. The only character that I was totally invested in was Alice and she's the only one that gets any semblance of character development. The second half gets a little better but the first half is really rough. I know it seems like I'm going on a rant at this point but the flaws in this movie stick out like a sore thumb.  Freddy has been officially commercialized and this is the beginning of the end of what was ever good about the series, which was the story and characters. With the exception of a captivating heroine, cool special effects, and a cool soundtrack, Dream Master is a below-average film at best. 


5. Freddy Vs. Jason - Like I said before, Freddy and Jason are the best characters in this movie where everybody else is stranded on the waste side. There would've been an interesting mix of the Friday the 13th and A Nightmare On Elm Street characters. But instead, the filmmakers go for the usual cardboard cutouts that don't hold a candle to either one of those characters. Ironically, the two leads are probably the worst of the bunch, particularly the male lead Will. Jason Ritter has become a better actor over the years and he seems like a really nice guy too but he is terribly wooden in this movie. I would much preferred Brendan Fletcher's Mark as the film's lead. Not only does he have the better acting chops but he has just amount of the character development for the audience to give a shit about him to where Will has none. Also, if fate would have it, Brad Renfro would've been a good choice, too. He has the right level of intensity that could've fit the character better. I will stand by my opinion and say that Lori Campbell is one of the worst final girls of either franchise. Monica Keena seems like a cool person too, but she's really not good in this. Though it's not entirely her fault, the script does nothing for her character. Even Monica says the script is terrible and I agree with her. Yes, one of the takeaways from this movie is the script. It's just not great and the only thing that has going for is the special effects, Freddy, and Jason. That's it. So, Freddy Vs. Jason may not hold up well but at least a dumb fun popcorn time waster. 


4. A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge - I know this is a very divided movie for some people but Freddy's Revenge is kind of decent in my opinion. Sure, it breaks a lot of rules and doesn't live up to the original in terms of story, however, the movie is underrated with it's hidden themes. Freddy is still creepy in this and the makeup effects by Kevin Yahger is well-done. Freddy has a little bit of a personality in this one but he's still very sinister here. Now I know most of the characters are nothing to write home about, but I think Mark Patton's performance as Jesse really stands out to me. He's not the typical male hero you see in every horror film, Jesse is quite vulnerable and you can tell he's struggling internally, particularly in that it's not only Freddy is haunting him, but his burgeoning homosexuality is too. Sure, the screenwriter's intention was not pure but Mark Patton really sells the role and it's shown through his own struggles as a gay actor at the time. Now had they got rid of the more campier aspects of the film such as Jesse's dance scene, the demonic parakeet scene, the bouncing balls scene, and some of the pool party scene, this would've been a solid sequel right between the first and third film. Overall, this was an interesting entry. Not great mind you, but still interesting. 


3. A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors - This is the best of the best right here. The all-time great horror sequel to a highly inventive slasher film. It expands the backstory of Freddy without giving too much away and still adds that level of mystery that's needed for a concept like this. Speaking of Freddy, the filmmakers do a good job of balancing out his character, making him both comical and sinister. However, the characters are what made this film so memorable. They bring back Nancy, which I love and she's there to be a sort of mentor to the new kids. And what makes this so interesting is that they're not your typical slasher victims. They're portrayed as real teens with real problems and they're so vulnerable in fact, that you can't help but feel for them. That's what makes this sequel so pure. But to top it all off, the special effects are the real star of the show. The inventiveness on display is just masterful and it shows how you can put any idea on the table with a concept like A Nightmare On Elm Street. This was the sequel that set the series in motion, forever encapsulating the cultural zeitgeist of 80s horror sequels and I love every minute of it. 


2. Wes Craven's New Nightmare - This is the top tier Nightmare sequel and one of the true finales of the franchise. All of it is not all perfect but thanks to the greatness that is Wes Craven and the amazing performance from Heather Langencamp, it has this special quality that sets it apart from the other Nightmare sequels. It has all the elements of a "final" sequel: Bringing back a female heroine that we know and love, special callbacks, and honoring the tone and feel of the first film. Craven goes for the meta approach, commenting on the state of the Nightmare films and Freddy's impact on pop culture. But the strongest element of the film is the exploration of Heather Langencamp along with the juxtaposition between reality and fiction. My favorite part of the film is when the script completely takes over the real world where Heather must play Nancy...one last time. It's beyond epic! I like how Wes Craven made Freddy creepy  again, without the usual wisecracks. When it comes to Wes Craven's vision of A Nightmare On Elm Street, it's very psychological. So instead of gaudy special effects and disposable teens, it's about a mother protecting her child from Freddy's grip, which makes us sympathize with the central characters easily. There was actual care put into this film moreso than the later Nightmare films. With it's clever commentary and engaging plot, this definitely deserves to be on the top of the list. This is a must-see.


1. A Nightmare On Elm Street (The Original) - There is without a doubt that the first film is the best of them all. The tone, the look, the feel, it all works here. The film is also a great example of less is more, considering that it was made on a low budget yet the special effects holds up really well. My motto will always be less is more when it comes to state of the art effects. I also feel like a horror movie works best is when the monster is rarely shown. Freddy is only seen in darkly lit shadows with very little dialogue and even when he's not onscreen, you can still feel his presence. You can tell that Wes Craven wanted to focus on the psychological horror instead of the usual hack and slash routine that was prevalent in 80s slashers at that time. Freddy is at his best when he's dark and sinister and this one takes the cake. Robert England is very effective in his first outing without a wink or nod to the audience. Furthermore, the characters are utilized well, especially Nancy Thompson. She's more than just an interchangeable final girl who defeats the killer at the end, she's an actual character that we care about and know so much about that we as the audience become attached her narrative. It's a good versus evil story that texturizes the concept without being formulaic. But here's where I'm gonna pull a What If: Instead of Ronee Blakely in the role of Marge, I rather much prefer Abby Dalton from Falcon Crest, who has better chemistry with John Saxon and is a lot more intense than Blakely. With the ending, I would just have Nancy drive away with her friends happily while Freddy attacks Marge out of the blue. So there you have it. Besides all that, this movie is a bonafide 80s classic and remains the top of the horror film food chain. 





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