Friday The 13th Ranking

 

I know some consider the Friday The 13th franchise to be "not great" but there are actually some decent entries in the series. Some I would probably consider as cult classics. Yes, sure, the Friday The 13th series is not art, but it's the art of horror filmmaking and some of the film directors of these movies have a mutual understanding of Jason Voorhees being a cultural horror icon with interesting variations that makes him stand out in each entry. So without further ado, let's begin:

12. Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday - I did say this was watchable...if you don't view it as a Friday The 13th movie. Now when I think about it, it's actually gotten worse over the years. As a young kid, my expectation of the movie was too high. I've got to admit, the cover of this film was pretty cool. But that's all the good I have to say about it. The directing is very amateurish with the exception of a few good special effects and the writing is equally as bad. When I watch the interviews of Adam Marcus, he seems very out of touch and has no idea what he's talking about. He's more concerned about how fans are complaining about what color Jason's clothes are than the actual issue, which is his lack of understanding of The Friday The 13th lore with the addition of some rather confusing plot points. I would say one good thing about this, I thought the two leads were fine, it's just, unfortunately, they're in a really shitty movie with really shitty writing. There were just too many cooks in the kitchen with this one and it's the worst of the series by far. 

11. Jason X - Sorry guys, this was my least favorite of the series. I just don't care when a horror franchise sets its main villain in space. It's such a dumb idea and you know the filmmakers working on it are running out of ideas at this point. For an ambitious project, it has a rather cheap execution. The spaceship is just a set with a CGI backdrop. Nothing about it stands out and it's quite boring to watch. Blade Runner, this isn't. The filmmakers try to do the self-aware thing with Scream and Friday Part 6 before it but it's not as clever. It just feels like I'm watching one of those bad SciFi movie of the week specials. I get why people find this to be so bad, it's good but it's still my least favorite of the franchise. 

10. Friday The 13th (The Remake) - I know this movie has its fans, but it's just not for me. Okay, let me start with the positives, Derek Mears did a good job as Jason and is probably the best part of this movie...and that's all. Everything else is forgettable trash. The worst part of this movie has got to be the characters and I know what you're saying, "Well, it's a Friday The 13th film, what did you expect?" But at least the characters in the earlier films were at least likable. The characters in this film are either obnoxious frat boys or vapid sorority girls with the exception of  Clay, Jenna, and Whitney. The script is subpar, the gore effects are meh, and although the visual aesthetic is more pleasing to the eye, it still comes off as bland. Overall, I just didn't like this movie and I won't be watching it again anytime soon. 

9.  Friday The 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan - Wow. This has got to be the most nonsensical sequel of them all. This was at a time when the series was heading towards a supernatural route starting with Part 6, which made the series more fun in my opinion. This came right after Part 7 featuring a girl with telekinetic powers. So, of course, the filmmakers of this one decided to be lazy. It's basically a retread of Part 7 but worse. I mean the stuff with Jason on a Boat is fun but it soon wears a little thin for a while. The worst aspect of the movie is the supernatural angle. It's never really explained why the final girl keeps having visions of young Jason. I mean sure, it is revealed that it's a part of her childhood trauma but it still doesn't tell us how she has these psychic visions of Jason. Also, Jason suddenly gains the power of teleportation? Again, none of this is ever explained and it makes for a very confusing watch. It's not as bad as I remembered, but it is certainly not as good. Though I would say, The Darkest Side of Night song is quite catchy.

8. Friday The 13th Part 5: A New Beginning - The reason why this is so low on the list is not that Jason's not in the movie, it's mostly for the overall sleazy vibe that makes it less enjoyable to watch. Some part me of believes that something like this has potential. The plot is actually not half-bad with Tommy Jarvis returning as a tortured young man attending a camp for troubled teens. We could've had a Nightmare On Elm Street: Dream Warriors type of story as we get to know the teens and know what their damage is before "Jason" gets them. But no, that's not the story we got here. Nobody gets any character development, not even Tommy. It's just random kill after random kill. And I know what you're gonna say "It's a Friday The 13th film, what did you expect?" But as I like to reiterate, in the earlier films, the characters had a least some shred of personality, and believe it or not, there was a plot in those movies. On top of that, the characters in this film don't act like real human beings. They're either over-the-top theatrical or just plain repulsive and unlikable. To add more to the sleaziness, there's an ample amount of female nudity. Unnecessarily so. Sure, this is the same guy who once directed softcore porn but hear me out. Believe it or not, there's not really much nudity in these films as everybody like to assume. Even the first one didn't have much nudity with only a quick shot of Kevin Bacon's butt. And when there was nudity, it was, dare I say it, tastefully done. In the '70s and '80s, the young crowd would usually go skinny-dipping and in the early movies, it felt natural and wasn't overly sleazy, but, this definitely went overboard, which includes the remake. It's also very out of focus, I don't know who the real main character is, and the story and its plot twist are kind of all over the place.  It's somewhat watchable for what it is but it's not the best.

7. Friday The 13th: 3D - Once upon a time, I used to like this movie and would watch it so many times. But over the years I've realized that this movie is incredibly cheesy. The characters have actually become caricatures, including this unconvincing biker gang, the 3D effects are really hokey and soured my enjoyment of the film, and lastly, the pacing slogs through most of the time. There are some positives, however. Even though I find the actress to be melodramatic, Chris' story arc was actually well done, which gives a connection between the killer and the final girl. Speaking of, the whole third act, the climatic fight between Jason and Chris is actually quite thrilling. This is also the entry where Jason wears his iconic hockey mask and the rest is history. This may be dumb, but at least it's dumb fun. 

6. Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood - There was a point in time when I did like this movie but the novelty has worn off. I guess it's because I was a huge Carrie fan and to see a character with similar powers battle it off with Jason got me really hyped up. To be fair, that's probably one of the best and only parts of the movie. Everything else kind of falls off the rails for me and it's actually a step down from the actionized Part 6, which kept itself apart from the other movies, which are standard slasher fare. But at least this is Kane Hodder's first appearance as Jason and the look of Jason is pretty awesome. But I have to say, the only characters that ever got a hold of me were Tina, Nick, Tina's mom, and maybe Dr. Cruise. Not because he was likable, mind you, far from it, but at least he was interesting. The rest of the characters felt like they were pulled out of an after-school teen drama and had nothing else to offer. And once we get to the middle of the movie, half of the couples have sex and it gets a bit too salacious for me, not as bad as the remake, but still. However, it makes up for a spectacular third act involving a showdown with Jason and Tina. But unfortunately, we're left with a very confusing ending where Tina's dead father comes out and grabs Jason underwater. After that, Tina and Nick are carried out on the stretcher, and...the movie just ends. So yeah, this movie was just okay, not great by any means, but just okay. 

5. Freddy Vs. Jason - For all the hype that it's got, this turned out to be a mediocre movie for me. It's not all bad. I think some of the special effects hold up, particularly the practical effects and the battle between Freddy and Jason is pretty epic. But the downside is the characters. Back in the early to mid-2000s, horror films had a habit of focusing on unlikable characters you can't wait to see die.  I get the feeling that the writers of this film based these characters on kids that they hated in high school. They're either bland, annoying, or just plain uninteresting, and that includes our leads, Lori and Will. The only interesting characters in this film are Freddy and Jason themselves. I mean their names are in the title, so of course they're the focus through and through. But besides all that, it's a good popcorn flick. Not great mind you, but good on its own.

4. Friday The 13th (The Original) - By today's standards, This would be considered a below-average slasher at best but in my opinion, it's one of the classic examples of the slasher genre. Sure, Halloween set the mold but Friday The 13th made a run for its money, thanks to the beautiful cinematography, artful direction, and last but not least, the amazing special effects by Tom Savini. Sure, the pacing might be a little off, which is one of the film's issues but it makes up for it with a climatic final act that was totally worth it. Although the characters don't stand out in terms of writing and development, at least the cast is charismatic and likable enough to care about whether they live or die. Plus, they're portrayed as real people and not just cardboard cutouts. Not to mention, Betsy Palmer's ballsy performance as Pamela Voorhees. I'm telling ya, that lady can act her ass off! And don't get me started on that ending. Oh boy, what a treat! So, this was definitely one of the more enjoyable entries and deserves the honorable achievement of kickstarting a classic horror franchise.

3. Friday The 13th: Part 2- Okay if the first one kickstarted the series, this sequel is the one that started it all.  Holy cow! it's so much more entertaining and dare I say better than the original in terms of characters and pacing. 1981 was the perfect year for this movie to come out. Right on the dime! This movie is actually Jason's first outing. Sure, he doesn't have the iconic hockey mask yet but he's still a very effective killer in this one. He's a bit clumsy and awkward but he's very effective at being a creepy woodsman, which I feel like that's what the filmmakers were going for and the 2009 remake attempted to do. Also, you have the amazingly charming Amy Steel as our final girl Ginny Field. I feel like that should've put her to good use. Maybe they should've put her in Part 5 in place of Pam. Nothing against Pam, she's cool but that would've made that movie TEN times better in my opinion. So yeah, Part 2 is definitely one of my favorites. Better story, better pacing, and a captivating heroine. Just perfect.

2. Friday The Part 6: Jason Lives - Wow! This movie was action-packed! We have a way more charismatic and well-rounded Tommy Jarvis, Megan Garris, a dynamic lead heroine who compliments Tommy, creative kills, likable side characters, and a take-no-charge Jason who can go toe to toe with The Terminator. This is tons of fun and it knows it's fun. It has a well-developed story that actually has a flow and explores the mythology of Jason Voorhees. I like how the director incorporated smoky fogs, ominous dim lighting, vacant cemeteries, and an old-school horror vibe that sets it apart from the rest of the series. I also like the tongue-in-cheek self-aware humor while also taking a big risk by actually inviting kids to the campground for the first time. Considering how supernaturally powerful Jason is, it makes him a much bigger threat and that's what adds to the excitement. This is probably one of the most innovative of the series and pretty much made Jason into a pop culture icon.

1. Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter - This is the definitive Friday The 13th film and I've watched this more often times than I can remember. Jason is at his most brutal here and he's actually quite scary at times. There's also a dynamic cast of characters that are actually well-rounded. You have your typical teens partying it up in a vacation home and a single mother with two kids: lead heroine Trish and our future hero in the making, Tommy Jarvis. We also have horror movie maestro Tom Savini back on the drawing board, creating the most gruesome deaths on screen. Although this marks as the final movie of the series, this was only the beginning, molding the franchise into what it is today. Thanks to this movie, this is where the slasher genre reached it's peak. This is by far one of the best of the best.