Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Housewives At Their Worst

Here I present to you the talentless stars of reality T.V. Mostly coming from the Real Housewives franchise. God, do these women really think they can catch i tune? I surely do not. So please let us begin the horror show.....

Gretchen Rossi-Revelation
So botox beauty queen aka Gretchen Rossi decided to broadcoast her ludicrious song to date, "Revelation". As you can see she clearly trying to emote her face since her face is alway, always tight while lip-synching trying to act like a twenty-five year old. Well, news flash sweetheart, you're not twenty-five anymore and this song is proof you have lost your way. The plastic surgery may have alter your face and body but it sure as hell didn't alter your singing voice:



Danielle Staub- Real Close
Oh my god, what a trainwreck! It's one thing to not know how to handle a business, but singing talents? This woman is way beyond her limits here. Clearly the soundtrack is singing for her. Can I say EPIC FAIL. And don't even get me started on her dancing. She barely even does. She just stands there sashying while the guido-like dancers fawn over her. Then there's the other singer who, of course, upstages her and doing all the real dancing. Maybe she should just to leave it to her, cause seriously, Danielle Staub dosen't have a chance in the music business:


Kim Zolciak-Google Me
Pure Awful. How can Andy Cohen allow this? Hell I thought "Tardy for the Party" was a real hoot but this...There is no way to describe it's insipidness. It's truly a poor way to market yourself. Who's gonna goggle you Kim Zolciak? To see how many surgeries you had? To see how much those cheap wigs cost? Unfortuntely, nobody's gonna google you for your musical talents, that's for sure:


Countess Luann-Money Can't Buy Class
It can't buy you talent. Or good production values. How can someone with so much money have a cheap-looking video? For one thing, she's not putting any effort in her voice. Even the bad autotone can't save her. And who is she trying to mimick? Madonna of all people? There's one thing money can buy you, a reality TV show. So just do us a favor and stick to that:


Special Mention:
Hedi Montag-Body Language
Technically, Hedi Montag is not "Real Housewife." Therefore, she is a housewife, none-the-less and WAS on reality TV show. And you know, the plastic surgery thing of course. So there. Being the(ex?) wife of Spencer Pratt can pretty uneventful. So why not have a music career? Well, no. Not a good idea. And this performance proves to be Hedi's worst. I was afraid all that dancing would cause her breast implants to fall out. By the way, it seems she's having a really hard time even catching up with their choreography. I guess being a Britney Spears-wannabe isn't her for'te. Speaking of which Britney's VMA performance is much better by comparison. And that's saying something:


So there you have it, The talentless trainwrecks on reality television. And just to let you know, just because you're on TV, dosen't mean you gain any musical charms...

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