About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Movie Review: Doppelganger

This has got to be one of the most cheesiest movies of the 90's. it's a shame that Drew Barrymore was put in this crap. But any struggling former child star have to make due before going on to big and better things. And boy did Drew Barrymore had to make due.
So here's the story: A paranoid debutante is running from her ghostly self while staying with her live-in lover. And that's all. Sorry folks.
God, the acting is bad but not awfully terrible to my relief. Drew Barrymore is a great actress, one of my favorites. But she's just wasted in this. All she gets to do is act all scared and sexy while wearing really bad hair extensions. I don't know who the other actor is but he's cute though. Oh my god, Leslie Hope was so annoying. Her character just won't shut the fuck up. it would be great if she was one of the victims. However...she wasn't. Can you believe Dennis Christopher of Breaking Away was in this movie? And just like any other actor in oscar-winning film, he hams it up like it's no tommorrow.
The special effects was cool...but that's the only highlight of this movie and nothing else.
A forgettable piece of crap that shouldn't be remembered.
My last word: Please. You have so much precious time to save. So much precious time.


Monday, February 6, 2012

Movie Review: I still know what you did last summer

This was pretty fun to watch. It dosen't take itself too seriously and shouldn't. It's just a fun, silly 90's slasher flick. And it's actually a childhood favorite of mine when I was 11.
So here's the story: It begins with Julie getting over the trumatic events of the first film, feeling as if she's being stalked by the not-so-dead killer. When her friend and roomate Karla wins a trip to the Bahamas, she cordially obliges seeing it as a stress reliver, along with Karla's boyfriend Ty and Julie's new friend, Will. Once they arrive there, strange things starts occuring right off the bat. Then as you guessed, the body count starts rolling in and Julie and her friends have to fight for survival. It's only up to Ray to save her from the killer's hook once again.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is fierce as ever playing a woman who's been through hell and back. being smart, resourceful, and aware as she was in the first film. Freddie Prinze Jr. was good. Too bad we don't get to see much of his handsome face. The movie marketed as if he was part of the cast but he has very little scenes and he dosen't get to be part of the action until the end. Now I'm not saying brandy is a great actress or anything, However, she was pretty good in this. She made her character fun, relatable, and also sassy. Which is why she lived till the end. Mehki Phifer was good and very easy to look at. You seen the body on him? I cannot believe Jack Black of all people was in a slasher film. At first, I thought he was some silly white guy with dreadlocks but at first glance it's Jack Black pulling off his early comedic chops. And just like in these movies, The funny guy gets it worst as the jerk does. His death is indeed brutal. And then we have Matthew Steele....Hot goregeous Matthew Steele. Those eyes. That body! *sigh*  He plays the cute, nerdy guy which makes him even more iriestable. What a dreamboat. But to my shock this dreamboat turns out to be the killer! Or at least one of the killers(his father is his partner in crime.) Which brings me that burning question: Why do the hottest guys in horror films go crazy?
Just like any other slasher film sequel, this one is much bloodier and gorier with high body although it consist of random people getting killed. There are actually some suspenseful scenes here. The tanning booth scene actually gave me the chills. The story would've sound ridiculous for some but really drives the action foward to the story and goes along with the pacing.
It's not perfect. It does have it's problems but otherwise a good popcorn flick that's not for everyone however can go along with a group of friends to pass time.
My last word: Although cheesy at best, it's defintely a 90's cult favorite.


Saturday, February 4, 2012

Same Movie, Different Plot: Return To Oz and Labyrinth

Just to point this out, there are vast similarities to the 1985 movie Return to Oz and the year after that, 1986 Labyrinth.
You have your pale-skinned brunette heroines with active imaginations, a manipulate king, and a trio of odd compainons, including a talking animal.
Here are the examples:
The actresses profoundly look-a-like. They could almost pass as sisters. Also to mention they both have wide green eyes.




The main villian is awfully charming being the perfect gentlmen with blase debnair.




The Magical world is connected to the real with a mirror













A girl can't live without her traveling compainions





And There's always a chance she'll reunite with them in a grand finale party






So there you have it, two underatted gems with slight comparisons to look out for.

P.S. Can you  believe Dorothy grows up to be Nancy?





Monday, January 30, 2012

Movie Review: Sorority Row(2009)

Yet another movie remake involving spoiled, vapid college bitches. Unlike my last review, i actually quite enjoyed this. The characters maybe repulsive to watch at times, but the main actors were really good, including the main alpha bitch. Etheir you love her or you hate her, she was definitely revieting, kind of like the Blair Waldorf of slasher movies. The story matched well with the pacing, mixing the "I know what you did last summer" feel with the "Scream" Who-done-it feel together.
So here's the story: Sorority Sisters decide to pull a prank one of the girls' cheating boyfriend by faking her death. Then, while on distant road, the prank turns deadly when the boyfriend accidently kills her a tire iron. In a heap of panic, the girls quickly dispose of the body deep down in a deserted ditch. Eight months later, when one of their sorority members are murdered, the girls must make a run for their lives as a vengful killer picks them off one by one.
The acting is quite good. The strongest performers are Brianna Evigan, Leah Pipes, and Rumer Willis. Especially Leah Pipes who stoled the show as the take-no-charge rich bitch. The girl almost had me convinced with her vicisous performance. Brianna Evigan, who is a great underrated actress, gives a subtle but strong and not to mention badass, performance as our final girl. The performance that really struck me was Rumer Willis' role as the sweet, shy girl. She was so sympatheic, that it was good to see her live throught the end. Honestly, these three actresses are the true stars of this movie. I would like to point out special cameos. There's Carrie Fisher who is hillarious as the shotgun-toting, foul-mouth, kickass house mother. Then there's Audrina Partridge, who's character was so short-lived, I didn't get to judge how well her acting was. To be honest, she's in the same leauge as her Hills co-star, Kristen Cavallari, who makes out of her acting career in straight-to-DVD movies. Tough luck but it's the truth. Now....The moment you have been waitng for, The boys of Sorority Row: Julian Morris, the sexy, british hunk who had a killing-thrilling time in this role. Also there's another hunk in this murderous duo, our upcoming hunk of the day, Matt Lanter. Those eyes of his are mesmerizing. Which would bring the question: Why do the hottest men go crazy? Let's not forget Matt Leary, who was a tad crazy but still adorable as Megan's Boyfriend. Really didn't get to see much of his character but he was good so far.
There were some hits and misses in some scenes. Like a random girl getting killed in the shower. Ok, people we've seen that in too many horror films already. The deaths scenes could've been more effective. But what I couldn't help was how I compared this to Black Christmas. You have a bitchy female cast, a hoot of a house mother, a boozy sorority sister, two deranged killers and a slightly campy feel. But this was way much better than Black Christmas, which was very obscure. This movie has much better character development, more inventive kills, and more strong, resilent female leads. The story was good, the acting was great, and the pacing rolled pretty well. It isn't the greatest movie ever, but it's sure damn entertaing.
My Last Word: A fairly entertaining watch.


Friday, January 27, 2012

Black Christmas(2006)

Oh God, this was a stinker. What bugs me the most is how unpleasant the characters are. It's bad enough we have to waste our precious 90 or so minutes watching these superficial, shallow bitches go at each other. The original cast was much more likeable than this repulsive bunch. Not only that, the kills are lame and tired and there's not an ounce of suspense to keep the story rolling.
So you all know the story: Rich, spoiled sorority sisters decide to spend their Christmas at their college campus, only what they don't know is there is a an escaped mental patient inside their house, waiting for his thirst of blood to spill upon the girls. Like I said the characters are pretty annoying. They are nothing but a bunch of vapid, insipid rich girls who complain, whine, and spit insults at each other. One of my favorite characters in the original was Barb. She stole the show with her raunchy jokes and drunken antics. This version of Barb is a pale comparison. All she does is act bitchy, lay around, drink her wine, and look pretty. Phyllis, the nice girl is now played by Michelle Trachtenberg who was actually good, it was a shame we didn't get to see much of her and I did felt some sympathy when her character died because she was one of the few decent ones. On a special note, Andrea Martin, the actress who played Phyllis, is a hoot as the girls' house mother. Lacey Charbert is also a hoot gaining her comedic chops from her mean girls fame. Mary Elizabeth Wienstead could've done a better job but of course since she was such a waste of character, there really wasn't much to give her any development. There wouldn't be a slasher film if you don't have a hunky guy involved and that is the case with Oliver Hudson. He is quite the philandering jerk in this movie and not much to his character etheir but boy is he hot or what?
Last but not least our final girl of the movie who is played by veteran horror and TV actress Kelli Pressley. She was quite good here. I mean she's no Jamie Lee Curtis but at least she did her best. Would've been much better if there was character development involved. All we see to her character is the cute blond good girl. But who cares, this movie was so shitty it couldn't give the actors or their roles any justice.
The kills were pretty lame. And just to be sure, in the 1974 version, there is only one death scene in which a character is suffocated through a plastic bag. In this version, this happens repeatedly including getting their eyes gouged out. Seeing this over and over again is just stupid. Compared to the 1974 film, the kills were  much more inventive and the building up of those scenes kept you on the edge of your seat. also in the original, it wasn't just your typical slasher film, it was thriller with interesting characters and realistic situations but like any other horror remake, it just sucks the life out of it, making it into a run-of-the-mill slasher shitfest.
My last word: A waste of your time and my five bucks at the movie theater.


Friday, January 20, 2012

Hunk Of The Day: Ashton Kutcher

Our recently divorced hunk of the day is known for such shows as That 70's Show and the recent Two and Half men gig. He is none-other-than:

Ashton Kutcher. Funny and Sexy, this hunk knows how to pull your strings. My heart goes out to Demi Moore who is my favorite actress, But aren't you just a bit happy he's back on the market?
Showcase, please:


This is back in his oh so sultry modeling days. The black and white shade makes him oh so mysterious.


What a gorgeous profile!


Look at those biceps, ooh!

Tan and Ready!

That is one sexy beard


Now onto the shirtless pics:

Looking good in those swim trunks






Flash for the camera!


Wet m' wild!





Single and Ready to mingle, this hunk is sure to crash the hipster scene. So ladies get ready!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Friday the 13th

Well I guess it's that time of the year, Which I did not totally expect. Let's see what's happening.....nothing much, but there is Harper's Island marathon on the chiller channel and 13 scary movie moments afterward. That's pretty much it unless you wanna celebrate by watching a Friday The 13th movie marathon, which brings back the day when I was 12 yrs old. Now let's have a small review of Harper's Island. I know the writers made it out to be a murder mystery but in my eyes it's just a slasher film TV Series.

The acting is good, The plot is driven, There is character development but not much all on the cast. But who cares, this is a slasher movie at best. More like Scream than Then There was none. It has a hot cast, some distrubing kills, and a deserted island. That's a slasher film for ya. Now I'm not saying this show is awesome or anything but at least it's watchable.



Now to Showcase Jason's Famous kills. More the 13 if you ask me: