About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Movie Review: May

This is truly one of the most underrated indie movies of the decade. It might not be a horror movie to some people, but it is a true art house classic.
The story is about May, a misguided, lonely woman who hopes of finding the perfect friend other than Susie, a doll she talks through in a glass box. Susie is a metaphor of May's life, sheltered and closed up in her own little box. She tries to change herself by getting rid of her lazy eye that effected her when she was a child, having Susie to be her only friend in the world. Once she reinvintes herself a little, she takes a liking to Adam, and sees a unique quality in his hands, which she constantly gushes over. After a few dates, he admires May's weirdness and her child-like view of life and decides to take the relationship to the next level. But soon after watching Adam's student film, May's active imagination takes things too far, prompting him to freak out and leave her alone. Heartbroken, May finds comfort in Polly, a co-worker who has a lesbien crush on her. When one thing lead to another with Polly, May soon finds out she just used her for sex. Now, completely broken, and so is Susie who was brutally demolished by a group of disabled kids, May finds a creative way to get a friend. Just like her mother said: If you can't find a friend, Make one. Which means she'll cut and slice her way to get one.
What I like about this movie is that it has one of the most compelling character studies than most modern horror films. It really shows a distinct way of how the character just loses it after being scorned too many times.
Angela Bettis was terrific in this role, having both the vunerability and versatility that made her performance so revieting. Jeremy Sisqo was quite good too, his acting was cool and go-with-the-flow, which made it realistic. Anna Faris was a hoot as always, playing a seductress. Her performance too was low-key compared to all the comedies she's been. In all words her acting was fantastic.
The directing was artistic and really sinks deep into May's mind. Falling doll parts while child-like music plays in the background. It's almost enchanting yet distrubing. Not to mention the awesome music soundtrack that goes along well with the film.
It is a touching yet intense horror movie, which tells the story of a woman's loose grip on reality and how it all sprials out of control. This is a definite see.
My last word: A classic indie film. It may not have much blood and gore but it is a stupendous pyschological thriller.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Mystical Tides Part 4

CUT TO:
Scene: Isolated Wooded Area
(Maverick, Kristen, Alex, and Maddie are walking to indisclosed location, deep in the woods. They arrive at a meadow while a large tower stands)
Kristen: Are you sure this is safe? The tower looks empty.
Maverick: Trust me, soon as we get up there you'll find the answers to your puzzle. Follow me.
(Maverick rips off a trespassing sign, hanging in the doorway and enters inside. The girls walk in slowly)
(The group slowly walk up to the darkened stairs, seeing a bright light in the distance)
(As the light shine in their eyes, a bright victorian room appears before them. Kristen and the girls stare in amazement)
(In a gold frame mirror by the window, a woman with long red hair and enchanting blue eyes with a blue toga dress appears in the mirror. The girls look over, startled as she reaches her hand out of the mirror)
(Maverick comes close to the mirror and takes her hand. She comes out of the mirror with a pleasant look on her face)
Maverick: Girls, I would like you to meet Marazza, the most resourceful orcale of the magic relam.
(The girls look at her in astonishment. She was so beautiful but seemed trusting and loving)
Marazza: Good evening.
(She walks up to Kristen and the girls with warm delight, holding onto Kristen's hands)
Marazza: Oh how I waited years to find you. And you are all indeed extrondinary......
(Marazza studies Maddie for a moment and places her hand on her heart as if she was remembering something but then looks up and smooths Maddie's hair)
(Marazza moves over to Alex and gently rubs her shoulders in a motherly, nurturing way)
Marazza: You all have been sent here for a cause....from now on, It's going to be a long, tremendous fight to make your claim.
Kristen: What claim?
Marazza: You are what they called the Mystical tides.
Kristen: I don't know if we can take on that responsibility
Marazza(places a hand on Kristen's heart): You were all born with this with every inch of your soul. I'm afraid you face your fears and give into combat.
Alex(realization): So there is really a war going among us
Maddie: And we have to be the ones to stop it.
Marazza: Only if you find the power within
(A crystal ball glows on a small round table, near the window. Marazza rushes to it, looking inside it, intensely)
Marazza: Now I'll show you the answers that you'll seek
(The girls comes close to the glowing ball)
(The screen zooms in on the crystal ball, where the clouds are closing in and lighting strikes, searching through the clouds)
CUTS TO BLACK
Scene: Undisclosed Bar
(Through the alleyway, a raven-haired woman with pale skin enter into a bar. We don't see her face, only the back of her head)
(She comes up to a guy, known as barfly, drinking his vodka. She stands over him, discreetly)
Mysterious Female(strictly): Do you have what I came for?
(The mysterious woman reveals to be Jade, her flashing intensely)
Barfly: What information is that?
Jade: You know what I'm talking about, Asshole! Those three girls that are called the mystical tides.
Barfly: What do you wanna know?
(Jade leans on to him, leering)
Jade: come outside......It's not for their ears to hear.
(Jade holds a grip to the barfly, dragging him outside the alleyway. She slams him to the backwall)
Jade(sneers): I know what you're hiding. I can smell it on you. Tell me something....did you do anything to betray our klan?
Barfly: I only told the queen what I promised. Where they live.....what they look like....
Jade: Fair enough
(Jade slams the barfly to the ground and punches through his heart, crushing it from the insides as he slowly dissovles into black liqud, leaving a skeletal cropse)
(Jade gets up, shaking off the black goo from her hands)
Jade: I guess it's time to call the council
(Jade grabs for her cell and clicks it on)
Scene: The Tower
(Marazza stands before the girls, while they sit in fetal postion, paying full attention to Marazza)
Marazza: There is going to be a great battle, so I must give you your weapon of choice.
(Marazza goes over to a long table draped over with a satin sheet. She pulls off the sheet, revealing all types of weapons. She holds up a dagger and points it over to Kristen)
Marazza: This dagger will stop Lord Sultan from his rein. Only if you peirce this through his heart, it will weaken his powers.
(Marazza carefully places the dagger in Kristen's hand)
Marazza: Use it well.
Cut To:
(Kristen and Alex are sitting by the window. Kristen holds the dagger in her hand, staring at it)
Alex: I've been through a lot wars in my life. But I never thought I could face a real one......Is that really happening?
Kristen: All of us has to face our demons sometimes. Even when they're staring you right in the eye, piercing through your soul. That's why we have to stay strong and know what we have to stand up against. Believe it or not Alex, this is really happening.
(Maverick and Maddie arrives at the room)
Maverick: I guess all of you know the truth behind this
Alex: It's going to be something to deal with.
(Maddie turns to Maverick)
Maddie: How long will this last? How many years will it be?
Maverick: I'm not sure. But it will be a long fight. Let's try and set the night while we can
(Maverick and the girls walk towards the door but Kristen stops to a halt and rubs her temple hard. She touches her nose, that is running blood. Her eyes roll back and she soon faints to the floor. Maverick and the girls rush to her side while Kristen shakes violently)
(Maverick cradles Kristen in his arms)
Maverick: Kristen?! Kristen, what's wrong?!
(Kristen stops shaking and is trying to catch her breath. She opens her eyes and is drenching with sweat. She looks at Maverick, longingly)
Kristen: I feel something's bad about to happen.
(A sound of feet marching is coming from outside)
(Kristen gets up and looks out from the window)
Alex: What's going on?
Maverick(grim): They're coming
Kristen: Who's coming?
Maverick: The dark circle. We have to get out of here. Now
Cut To:
(Marazza hugs each of the girls, warmly)
Marazza: Be careful and make sure you use as much strengh as you can. It's a tough world out there, girls. Please follow my word.
(Marazza turns around and goes back into the golden frame mirror where it turns back into a reflective glass)
Maverick: Come on. We have to face them.
(The girls follow Maverick's lead)
Cut To:
OUTSIDE THE TOWER-THE WOODS
(Adam, Jade, Ascatar along with a group of hooded figures are standing in the middle of the tower, waiting. Maverick and the girls approach them)
Jade: We've been expecting you.
Maverick(angry): Jade....What the hell is this?!
Jade(smiles devilishly): Hmm. I thought you were gonna figure it out somehow, sweetheart. That's the price you pay for a broken heart.
(Ascatar stares at Alex, hard)
Ascatar: I'm taken we met before?
Alex: We met at the alleyway
Ascatar(smirks evily): I could be certain you'd be one of them. I can see that sauciness in you.
Adam:We also have a special edition
(Adam steps aside to introduce a hooded figure)
Adam: M'lady
(The hooded figure steps foward and reveals itself....It's Kelly. Her skin pale, her eyes still blue but hallow)
(Alex and the girls stand there in shock)
Alex: (softly) Kelly.....What the hell did you do to her!
Kelly(snidely): Oh Poor Alex, Don't feel that way. I feel like brand new girl and to regain my new self, there are some burning secrets I would love to tell you.
(Kelly walks up slowly to Alex, her eyes gazing mischeviously)
Kelly: Do you wanna know about Jared? You know, your rotten dead boyfriend.....(whispers) I slept with him.
(Alex's eyes are filled with anger and hurt, her hands are flaming with fire)
Kelly: that added fuel to your fire didn't it?
Alex(pissed): Not as much as I'm gonna add fuel to your fire, bitch.
Kelly: Oh, touchy.
(Alex punches Kelly hard. Kelly stares at Alex and wipes the blood off her mouth)
Jade: From the looks of that, I think we should get things started. Let the battles begin.
(The hooded figures reveals themselves, removing each of their robes. They are monstourus figures in the form of Demons, Lycans, and Vampires)
(The monstourus figures charge up at the girls while they run for their lives. Maverick stays behind, creating a ball of light with his hands, facing the enemies. Maverick throws the ball of energy to the ground, causing the enemies to fly backwards from the force.
(Kristen runs fast and all of sudden starts levatating, floating up to a tree branch. Kristen climbs on it just when a demon with red skin and glowing red eyes starts lunging at her. The demon grabs her black hoodie and Kristen falls off, tearing off the fabric. Just when Kristen land on a hill, she raises her hand, shooting out lighting bolts towards the creature, blowing it to pieces. Suddenly a lycan jumps before her. Kristen swipes her hand and the lycan pulls back with force)
(Kristen gets up and looks at her hands, realizing her full gain of power. Just as a vampire charges up to her, Kristen blinks her hands, releasing a lighting force, blowing the vampire to bits)
CUT TO:
(Alex runs from the creatures coming from the creatures coming after her but stops and blinks her hands, causing the enemies to freeze. She creates her ball of fire, throwing it at the creatures, bursting them into flames, breaking off peice by peice. A lycan suddenly comes behind Alex, wrapping his claw around her neck. Gasping for air, Alex reaches into her pocket and pulls out her switchblade and stabs the creature deep into it's side. She turns around, swipes the blade at it, cutting it's claws. The creature drops down while Alex gets on top of it, stabbing it through it's neck(the impact is not shown). Alex lifts up the creature's head and snaps it off)
CUT TO:
(Maddison is running through the woods where there is a pathway. The creatures soon runs into that way. Maddison looks to left and right, finding out which way to go. The creatures come her way and she closes her eyes, scared. The creatures charges foward but runs past her. Maddison opens her eyes, confused)
(The creatures starts searching around, seeing if there's any trace of Maddison. Maddison is at the same very spot she's been at. She soon realizes that she has gained her invisibility power)
(The creatures look from side to side, up and down, wondering where she's been hiding. A demon goes left into the woods. It stops at a great big tree, staring at it. All of sudden, Maddison pops back into normal form and blows a breath of air onto the demon, leaving it frozen with ice. Maddison runs back into the pathway and pulls out a large vile of red liqud that she'd been keeping under her jacket. She throws it out onto the oncoming creatures and the liqud splashes on them, melting their skins into skeletal remains. Maddison continues on the pathway)
CUT TO:
(Kristen swipes her hand at a creature while it flies back with force. She runs into another creature, flashing her hands with her lighting power. Adam, out of nowhere, lunges behind her)
Adam(whispers hauntingly): Pretty little angel
(Kristen struggles and turns around, causing Adam to bite into her arm. Kristen screams in pain, going down into the ground. Adam leers at her, baring his fangs. He grabs her by the neck)
Adam: Any last words, my sweet?
(There is a sound of knife stab. Adam looks down, his eyes widened. Kristen is piercing her dagger into his heart. Adam turns into dust, leaving off skeletal remains)
(Kelly, who is standing with Jade and Ascatar from afar, feels a sharp pain in her stomach. She lifts up her shirt and sees her insides moving out of control. She runs into the woods)
Ascatar: What's wrong with her?
Jade(don't carish): I guess she's chickened out
(Maverick fights off two creatures with his shield of light, burning their bodies into crisp. He sees Kristen lying there, helplessly. He runs towards her, cradling her head in his arms)
Kristen(weak): What's happening to me?
Maverick: A vampire bite would weaken your powers. Going into your first stage you'll have experiences like this. But once you have your full power the effect will sustain.
Kristen(softly): It's quiet all of sudden.
(Maverick looks around. His eyes stop at Ascatar and Jade who appear in a flash, smiling evily)
Jade: Why that was a good show you put on there. But don't worry...We'll be back for you soon.
(Jade and Ascatar disappear in a quick blink)
(Maddison and Alex runs to Maverick while he holds up Kristen in his arms)
Alex: What's wrong with Kristen?
Maverick: Girls, we have to go back to the magic relam. Kristen's been wounded.
Maddison: I have to rush back home, My parents must be worried about me.
Maverick: Maddison, I don't think we have the time....
Maddison: I promise I'll come back if you need me. There is just something important I have to dicuss to them.
Maverick: I think it's best if you stick with us until it's safe.
CUT TO:
(Maverick, Kristen, still in his arms, walks through the woods while the girls come in tow. A Hand suddenly grabs Alex. It's Kelly who drags herself helplessly off the ground. She cries hysterically)
Kelly(sobbing): Alex! Please Help Me! I don't know what's going on! Please!
Alex(angry): You stay the hell away from me!
(Alex jerks her arm away from Kelly's grip. Maverick and the girls look on with pity. Alex charges ahead)
Alex: Let's just leave her here
(The group continues on while Kelly cries hysterically)
Kelly: Alex! Please, I need you! I'm really scared!
Female voice(kindly): I'm here for you
(Kelly turns around and faces Jade, standing behind her. Jade leans down and softly smoothes her hair. Then Jade pulls out a blade and makes a slit cut into her palm. She grabs Kelly by the hair, pinning her to the ground. She forces her bloody hand into Kelly's mouth. Kelly is shaking violently, letting the blood rush into her mouth. Suddenly, her eyes turn black)
CUT TO BLACK

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hunk Of The Day: Zac Efron

Now this hunk was known to be a international disney star and has a knack for singing and dancing. Not only does he have the talent but the looks to match really well, just when you see a sight of his piercing blue eyes. May I introduce to you to......

Zac Efron. This gorgeous hunk is way past his cute, adorable days from the disney market. Now, he's a full grown man. And when I say man, I mean MAN! let me proceed......


Very Sauve with the facial hair. There's more where that came from...


I think he should keep the short hair more, It brings out his define features
Boy, would you look at those abs! Wanna see more shirtless pics?




But you should see how he looks now....


Look at those big, sexy muscles....*sigh*



Can I say delicious?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

J.D's Top Ten Witches

I am so proud to present to you my Top Ten Badass Witches. Some are good....Some are bad...Some are just....a little rough around the edges. But some are intelligent, strong, compentent and, of course, powerful. Now let's start with the list shall we?

1. Sarah Bailey- The Craft

Sarah starts off as a shy girl with a troubled, hidden past who embarks on a new enviromment from San Francisco to Los Angeles. That's when She meets Nancy and her crew. New to Witchcraft, She is scared and intimidated, But once she learns of her true self, she becomes strong and relisent. Sarah was the true witch in the game while the others stood by in all her glory. And that makes her number #1. Which makes this one right here on.....

Nancy- The Craft

A little at the bottom first. This Badass has a take no charge approach which mixes in her addictive personality. Coming from a dysfunctional household, she changes all that by getting as much power as she can by having money and her integrity under her belt, along with being a pyschotic bitch. Jealous of Sarah and her newfound wisdom, vengefully, she tries to do what she thinks is the right thing to do: Get Rid Of Sarah. Sadly, she fails at that game and her powers are striped away, making her crazy-eyed and delusional in a mental institution. Which is why Sarah's the first best. Sorry Nancy, you can't take your powers for granted.


2. The Halliwell Sisters-Charmed

Spunky, Charming, Fiesty, Sexy and Independent. These Three(later four) young witches had to learn the hard way of juggling their normal lives and their witchy duties by mid point. Through all the setbacks, heartbreaks, tradgies, and evil-doers, they will always find a way to get back at their feet. These sister witches sure know how to put the capital G in girl power.


3.Willow Rosenberg-Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Sweet, Smart, Lovable Willow. To be honest, She is one of the most beloved characters on the show. Even more memorable than Buffy I assume. I'm just saying. This brainy redhead is also a raging lesbian. Witchcraft and Lesbianism....That's a good combanation. She was first a shy, kinda geeky girl with low social skills but once the Powers That Be came along, she graced out of high school, a fearless, intellectual strong-willed lesbian. And proud of it!


4. Kiki-Kiki's Delivery Service

She is the most cutest, adorable witch you could ever find. She's even nice enough to deliver food to you if you need any. When you reach the rightful age of 13, it's never easy, even when your only ability as a witch is flying broomsticks. And that takes a lot of process. But once she goes through all the setbacks and obstacles, she becomes a confident, well-adjusted young witch with her whole life ahead of her. We're still rooting for you, Kiki.


5. Alex, Sukie, and Jane- The Witches of Eastwick

Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. It's the classic trope in form, especially from a witch trio. This Fearless Threesome are not only crafty in the Powers That Be, but are played by the fabulous Cher, the saucy Michelle Phiffer and the ever-so-charming Susan Sarandon. At first, they seem like your normal, everday women with their day-to-day get-togethers with a dose of martini on the side. Their usual topic of dicussion is about men. And once they describe a little too much about the perfect man, the witches conjur up a unknown creature named Darryl Van Horne. Not knowing of their powers at first, Darryl helps them through with the power of love(or sex, if you can see it that way). Ravished with the finer things in life, it soon comes with a price when someone gets hurt. Darryl seems to be the cause of it. And when there's a problem you solve it. And boy do these witches get to work! after getting rid of the slimeball from hell, they soon found out that they did it on their own. They didn't need a man to realize their powers. They needed to realize it for themselves. That's what makes them a great team. Its all about Girl Power! Who runs Eastwick? These witches do! also on this number.....


The Sanderson Sister-Hocus Pocus

Yet another Blonde, Brunette, Redhead trio. This consist of the headstrong Winifred, The ditzy Sarah, and the goofy Mary. Back in the middle ages or whatever, they were feared and loathed by townspeople but once they're transported in the 20th century, their days of hellraising have wavered a little just because you know.....it's the 90's. Now that they're chasing around a new age of kids, The Sanderson Sisters are not as scary as they assume to be. They're quite.....amusing. They're actually the most funniest villians in disney history. They could be scary to little kids but do you really think that they're scary to older kids? A definite no. I give props to Bette Milder, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy for their awesome performances.




6. Ginny Weasely, Hermonie Granger, and Luna Lovegood- Harry Potter Saga

If you see these three witches in the same room together, they would make a very interesting trio. You have the Shy but Spunky Ginny, the Intelligent but Fiesty Hermonie, the Sweet but Spacey Luna. Once you team up this unique trio, it'll be like a match made in hogwarts heaven. Special Note: I'm planning on making a comic book adaption of this marvelous trio. P.S. They're american in this version.....

7. Sabrina Spellman-Sabrina The Teenage Witch

Smart, Funny, Likeable. There are so many words to describe this loveable blonde. The reason for her sunny attitude.....She's a witch but it comes with a lot baggage as well. It's not always easy being a teenager, and it's  not always easy being a witch. Schoolwork, mean girls, boys, magic.....the girl got a handful. but in the end with her perky, bubbly existence, any problem can be solved when Sabrina's around.


8. The White Witch-The Chronicles Of Narnia

Cold, Treachous, Manipultive. She is definitely an Ice Queen. No, scratch that. LITERALLY an ice queen. Her heart is as cold as ice could come. And just for certain, she has some kind of questionable attraction towards Edmund. Can I say cougar? Just because she a highly ice queen, doesen't mean she is as strong as you think she is, judging her thin frame. She'll kill you in seconds. She would if she could. You don't wanna mess with this nasty diva. If you do, you'll get what's coming for you.

9. Ursula The Sea Witch- The Little Mermaid

Yet another nasty diva on the list. This isn't exactly the actual picture of Ursula, But if they make a live action adaptation of The Little Mermaid, It would be badass right? This heartless monster would manipulate an innocent teenage girl if she feels like it. Matched with her larger than life form, she is the true HBIC of the dark sea. If you cross this biosterious gorgon, you might get squashed.


10. Sally and Gillian Owens-Practical Magic

These are just your friendly neighborhood witches who would do anything to look out for each other.....even kill a man. but don't worry, they are as harmless as a bunny rabbit. You have the calm, motherly Sally and the adventurous, free-spirited Gillian. They are played by none-other-than my favorite actresses in the world. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman! When it comes to magic with these two, it's all about the power of family and sisterhood. Right on, Sister Witches!

And there you have it, My Top Ten Favorite Witches. Of course witches are always my favorite topic. Good, Bad, Smart, and Beautiful, There will always be a kickass witch on my next list. Special note: Watch out for The Secret Circle This Fall. Can't wait til it comes out!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Movie Review: Hostel Part 2

I really have nothing against this movie, although it's themes are somewhat misogynistic and it does feel like a rehash of the first movie but with a little more story to it this time. This was right around the time where torture porn was losing it's way and people really didn't give a shit anymore. With all the countless Saw films and the poor reception of  the movie Captivity, the genre was already dead in it's tracks. So Eli Roth gave one more try with this sequel.
Now on with the story: It's about three girls who decide to take a break from art school studies in Paruge. They meet up with a beautiful model who persuade them to go to a hostel in svehlova for some R+R, little do they know, they are set up to be torture dolls for two business men who won a bet on them. Can they escape before it's too late?
The story is much more better than the original. Sue me for saying that but it is. We get deep into the story, learning about the evil corparation and their motives in which the first film got more into the mystery of it.
The acting has more stronger performances and more sympatheic characters. Lauren German as Beth....Two words: BADASS! I was completely surprised by her performance. She is the sole reason this movie was decent. For now, she is one of my top final girls. Heather Marazzo as Lorna, just broke my heart when she died horribly. It's just so heart-wrenching to see a sweet girl like Lorna died the way she did. Just like Eli Roth did with adorable Josh, he did the same to poor Lorna. Plus, I don't see why Heather Marazzo gets typecasted as the geek. She's a beautiful girl and should get more spicer roles. Bijou Phillips as Whitney on the other hand, is a firecracker. Yeah, Whitney can be a little bitchy and little flightly, but that makes her all the more loveable. I cringed too when she got tortured. Not really tortured but she did got half of her brain cut off. Which is pretty much the most grossiest, goreist, bloodiest thing i seen from the film. How she died was even more frightening, just by not showing how she died, made it more scarier. What's even more scarier was Roger Bart. Yeah, Richard Burgi always was cast in these asshole roles but that's what he's good at. the twist is, his character is just an asshole, not a killer. Let's get down to the real kick here. Roger Bart as Stuart was a truly believeable performance. We really get deep into his pysche and see why the way he is. Of course, he starts out as a nice guy but ultimately we see his true colors at the end. Which is pretty damn scary.
The film is much more bloodier and goreier than the first, mixed in with the intense suspenseful scenes, it kind of keeps your heart pumping. What's really different about this is that the main characters are decent this time and much more....level-headed than the male leads in the first hostel. I just can't help but care and sympathize more with the female leads because you know what....GIRLS FUCKING RULE! you can ask Beth for that. She got more balls than puny old Paxton ever had!
Although the torture porn genre died along with this movie, it's pretty decent if you look at a different way but just like I said with the first one it could settle down for just an ok.
My Last word: Watch this movie for Beth and Beth only. The girl totally knows how to work a garden shear.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Movie Review: Hostel

To be honest, This wasn't one of my favorite films. I'm not really a big fan of torture porn as it takes off the anticipation of the suspense of what's to come. The pacing is all wrong, the story doesn't get anywhere and the characters you start to wear off on you, although it's a bit cringe-worthy to experience their pain. Hostel is quite different. The story is interesting and keeps the movie going yet the pacing is still quite slow as we focus on the "needed" character development. And the part about where you care about the characters you grow to love? Well, sadly the case is not here. I do of course care for one of them only for that person to die brutally the first go around. Obviously the biggest douchebag is the main character who supposed to fill the hero role. I'll get to all that later.
Here's the story:  A trio of friends decided to go to a hostel for some R+R, unbeknowst to them they are set up by sadistic company who pays people to torture them.
That was kind of a short but simple story right? It dosen't really get into the action until second half of the movie although it adds some creppy moments up to that point. Most of the atmosphere and shots of the film is pretty engaging, if only the story would've strecthed out more and had...let's say more sympatheic characters than it should have. But I think that was the point. For people to actually enjoy these sleazy characters to be tortured or killed in some horrific way. It's the standard horror movie trifecta: The Jerk Gets It. But here's where they break the rules a bit, the biggest jerk gets to live. Again, how interesting.
The acting is pretty good. Jay Hernandez was superb. Yeah, his character is kind of douchey but you really get to emphatize his fear of what's happening to him and around him, which makes his character a little sympathetic by his intense performance. Speaking of sympathetic, my heart went out to Derek Richardson. His death was by far the most scariest yet saddest. Josh was actually the more nicer of the two guys and he wasn't even much of a horndog either because he was trying to get over a breakup. But sadly, we the audience get to see how brutally he dies in which it wasn't kind of fair. But hey it's what the filmmakers make right?
The supense scenes were downright scary and tense, which will have you at the edge of your seat a little bit. I'm not saying the movie is scary, it's not. It just does a good job at rising up the boiling point. To add something else, if you're expecting a gore-fest you'll be a dissappointed. There is little gore in the movie. Yeah, there are gross stuff but don't expect any more.
Like I said, I'm not a big fan of torture porn. Now-a-days it has wear off over it's head with the pointless Saw franchise and other copy-cats. But this film focuses on the story if you look beyond the characters and how it reaches to it's point of no return. It isn't really my kind of film. Maybe guy's movie since it has it's fair share of nudity and blood(a little if you count that.) Other than that, it's now forgettable as it's not much of a buzz anymore.
My last word: It has a good story, but not something to remember by.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Ivy's Top Ten Badass Vampires

Now to present to you Ivy's Top Ten Badass Vampires. This list contains one of the most powerful, most deadly, and certainly the most stylish vampires in the biz. Here is the honorary list:

1. Akusha-Queen of The Damned
This egyptian goddess is known to be the ruthless leader of the vampire clan. No one dares to cross her path, not even the ones who are deemed as sinster. She tops this list because she knows the true game of vampirism since the dawn of time. So for all you vampys out there, this is truly the queen of them all...


2. Selene- Underworld
This Vamp not only has a thrist for blood but a thirst for guns too. Cross between two worlds: One from her notable clan and Two from the man she loves, She fights to have united equal by kicking some major ass. If people think vampires don't have souls, then how come this blood-seeking vixen is fighting for love?


3. Rayne- Cunning, Sultry and downright Deadly. Yes, deadly is her middle name. This firey redhead may have an undying thrist for blood but that dosen't stop her from becoming a defiant heroine. When it comes down to it, you don't wanna mess with this femme fatale. She got the moves AND fangs to prove it.

4. Sophie-Anne-True Blood
This fun-loving daughter of the night is possibly the most glamourous and high class vampire. What ultimately turns her sexual appatite is when two guys get it on. Honestly Miss Queen Sophie-Anne I don't blame you. Sexy, seductive and down for a good party, This vampy southern bell knows how to have a good time....Also on the list

Pam-True Blood
Yet another fiesty southern belle, although she dosen't care too much for partying as she is into the
vengeful-violent side of things. She maybe downright serious at times but she can fill in a few jokes or two. Because she's cool like that. But don't piss Pam off, this Bisexual bloodsucker can turn from lipstick to butch in a second if you can keep your head on straight.

5.Lilith-30 Days of Night: Dark Days
Even though 30 Days of Night: Dark Days was a somewhat mediocre movie with questionable production values, the best thing about it was this cold-blooded demoness of the night. Leader of her vampire clan she knows how to come at her prey at the right moment. be careful not to walk the streets of L.A at night, you might be her next meal ticket.


6. The Brides Of Dracula-Van Helsing
Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. A notable female trio with their brand of hair colors. But this trio is a lot more sinster per say with their noticable thirst for certain blood types....and their husband Dracula. They seem to copy the same M.O. and seductive manner as their husband's. The dutiful wives that they're are they hunt for their prey. their specialty are mostly men. So guys if you fall for these ladies' sensual looks, get a load of their true form.....

Vicisous!


7. Eli-Let The Right One In
She maybe an innocent little girl with wide gentle eyes but if you mess with her friend Oskar, you mess with her, which will end in bloody results. She's fast, she's frightening, and she'll tear you from limb to limb in a second. If you think she's a defensless little girl, you gotta another thing coming.


8. Moka Akashiya-Rosario+Vampire
She may be the vamp of the night(or day, it depends) But she is actually the most sweetest, kind-hearted vampires there is. Some Vampires are moody, melaclohinc, or just have no soul. Not this girl though, who is just your normal, cheerful, neighborhood-friendly vampire. You can tell from her rose-colored hair that she is as sweet as a rose could come.

9. Mina Tepes-Dance In The Vampire Bund

Mina acts like most natural vampires: Cocky, Agressive, and Naughty. But all of that is a facade. In Actuality, She's vunerable and lonely. She is the current ruler of the vampire world, which makes her life as ruler very depressing until she meets Akira, who helps her love again as a human being. It just shows that deep down in that cold vampire heart it's still beating inside. Mina is truly one of the sympatheic vampires. Speaking of sympatheic.....


10. Rosalie Hale- The Twilight Saga

At first she appears as a stoic yet enchanting ice queen but deep down she has had a dark and troubled past that she had overcome with such defiance and resilance, you can't help but root for her. She hides her vunerability by protesting a strong personality. High above that, she is caring, strong-willed, and the most captavating on the list. Cheers to you, Rosalie.

There you have it, The Top Ten Most Vampist Women On The Block. I hope you enjoyed the list as much as I do. You can't get more badass as a vampire can.