Movie Review: The Cabin In The Woods

Finally, I get to come across this after much anticipation and i have to say the wait was worth it. Created by Joss Whedon known for Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse, gives us a new take on the horror genre. Usually in today's horror, it's tired, overused, and the least bit interesting but this movie seeem to change all of our minds. The filmmakers takes the basic horror movie formula and takes it into a completely different level, putting one horror genre after another. But before I put this review into play, I will have to warn you that there are some major spoilers involved to keep this going, so let's begin.
Here's the story: Five ordinary college students become the unwilling pawns to a secret organization who turns them into horror movie sterotypes, ultimately falling into a real horror movie they can't seem to get out of.
Joss Whedon loves to subvert and deconstruct typical horror movie tropes and make of his own. For example: You have the handsome jock, who is very smart and capable of being the leader but is downgraded into being the dumb jock by the scientist's manipualtions. then you have the virginal heroine who turns out not to be so virginal since she had a(though regretable) affair with her college professor but in this played out horror movie plot she is programmed to be so. Next, you have a sassy, witty young woman, who has turned into the dumb blonde sterotype but she is netheir blonde nor dumb. Much afterwards, you have a jock with an average I.Q. but somehow tunred into the smart guy with high intelligence. Last but least, you have the stoner who is immune to the artifical gases that the scientists implanted and is therefore AWARE of what's going on unlike most stoner characters in such films who just sit in the background, waiting to be killed like idiots.
The acting was great, especially from Kristen Connolly, who plays the "Final Girl" role in perfect spades and Frank Kranz, who's character type is usually annoying, is rather funny and charming. The two actors also give great nods to Willow(Buffy the Vampire Slayer Series) and Shaggy(Scobby Doo) to a T. You may see some notable faces in this movie such as Amy Acker, which I was delighted to see since Fred was one of my favorite characters on Angel. Then you have Grey's Anatomy hunk Jesse Williams, his blue eyes are certainly enchanting and that body is to die for. Last but not least we have the very sexy, hot Chris Hemsworth and once again we get to see his perfectly sculpted body but for only one scene.
The Plot is very smart and surprising to say at least, which will lead to the big ol' spoiler so don't say I warned you.
The reason why the secret organization is inventing the whole horror movie scenario is to stop the ancient one(meaning powerful gods) from regaining it's wrath, thus ending the world. So in order to prevent this, they please them by getting a bunch of youngsters and killing them one by one in a ritual order. So this isn't soely for anybody's entertainment anymore, this is for the fate of mankind. Now that's pretty damn jarring! But guess whose the director of all this....Sigourney Weaver. Yes, that's right. Freakin' Ripley is behind all this. Totally unexpected indeed.
But the really big wham is towards the ending, in which a character must choose between sacrifcing himself in order to save humanity or be able to live, even though he'll die along with the rest of earth's population. Guess what he does: He chooses to live, ending the world entirely. And you're stuck between whether to root for him or be pissed off by his otherwise selfish decison.
 It was a blast to watch. Throughout the movie, I just felt something big was going to happen and oh was I in for a surprise....blood, gore and monsters in a heavy, dramatic climax! and don't forget the obvious shot-outs to other horror films.
You can see Josh Whedon put his heart and soul into this project and it payed off with an amazing quality.
My last word: A classic examation of horror films which is a classic itself.

Special Announcement: Manhattan Girls Is Finally Published On Amazon!

This the finished cover if you try and search it anywhere on the website. I"m not exactly getting any readers right because I have to find unique ways to promote or make anybody seek attention to it. It's not going to be easy, even though this is only the first book and there will be many others along the way. I will warn you though, I was in a pretty big rush to publish it, probably too excited for my own good, but besides all that, don't judge me if I have a little errors with certain words on the prolouge of Gwen's Dairy, I made many corrections on that but don't scorn the whole book just because of  a few mistakes, I worked really hard it and hope it will at least be decent. I revisioned this book at least two times in a span of five years, so at least that will give me a some credit, right? So here is Manhattan Girls published and ready to read on Amazon Kindle. Write a review if you have the chance.
Side note: Comment on the Cover if you like it or not.

Movie Review: Buffy The Vampire Slayer

If you thought 80's teen films were cheesy, the teen films from the early 90's would surely hold a candle to it, with it's colorful fashions and over-the-top dance music.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer pretty much glorifies this to the end.
I loved the TV series(only the first three seasons, season five was okay) and when I first watched this, I was only a wee eight-years-old. Yes, people I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV series since I was seven years old which lead me to this. Crazy, right? Back then, I actually enjoyed it and didn't see how cheesy was and as a kid I pretty much had fun watching it. Nowadays, I see how incredibly campy it is though still fun in a way. For instance, just compare it to the television series and see how different in tone they are. And you see how the TV series is better in terms of quality.
So you all know the story by now: A vapid valley girl named Buffy soon learns that she is the chosen one, slayer of the vampires, and with the help of a mysterious master is trained in for battle. Meanwhile, the evil lord of vampires and his army is planning on invading the school dance. It is only up to Buffy to stop the awakening of these blood-sucking fiends.
I would say Kristy Swanson was terrific. You can see why she was so memorable in this role, playing the characters in two parallels: The ditzy, valley girl type and the kickass, action girl heroine. She also parallels into the comedy and seriousness of the character, which was also done well by Sarah Michelle Gellar in the TV show.
Luke Perry was also fun to watch. At first, I thought his character showed no purpose other than just being the heroine's love interest but then I saw how much flexibility he put into the character and saw how likeable he was. You would think an acclaimed actor like Donald Sutherland would give off a hammy performance but he was profoundly low-key, providing his character with a dry sense of humor which made his presence all the more enjoyable. Paul Rubens AkA Pee Wee Herman, on the other hand, gives us a top-notch campy performance as the villain's flamboyant right hand man. It was pretty jarring to see him in a role like this and ever since then he's been taking quirky roles like this. Probably it had something to do with that incident that sort of changed his image a bit....okay, moving on. I will totally not end this segment without mentioning Hillary Swanks' performance or even David Arquette's before his Scream heyday. I pretty much have to say that Hilary gave it all even though it was a relatively small role. David Arquette takes a ride down the campy, hammy train as one of the villain's henchmen. This one too is a small role but memorable at best. And without further ado, You can catch a young Ben Affleck in a blink it or miss it role.
Although the movie is mainstream, it still has that b-movie feel, giving the notion it really isn't taking itself too seriously, which in my opinion, kind of works. I would like to point out a particular scene where Buffy steals a biker's motorcycle while chasing a vampire in pursuit. The biker calls her the d-word just for that. Just to let you know it was still fresh for female action heros to take the lead in film, since this was ongoing from the 70s to the 80s, it was still interesting and fresh. But I have to call out on the movie's script though, just because a woman is empowered, doesn't make her lesbian. But this was film in Los Angeles back in the early nineties. So yeah, it holds the message that women Especially valley girls can't hold their own sword on their own. However, Unfortunate Implications aside, it's still an enjoyable(though unsuccessful) 90's gem.
Final word: It may not hold a candle to the TV show but it's a cult classic in it's own right.

Housewives At Their Worst

Here I present to you the talentless stars of reality T.V. Mostly coming from the Real Housewives franchise. God, do these women really think they can catch i tune? I surely do not. So please let us begin the horror show.....

Gretchen Rossi-Revelation
So botox beauty queen aka Gretchen Rossi decided to broadcoast her ludicrious song to date, "Revelation". As you can see she clearly trying to emote her face since her face is alway, always tight while lip-synching trying to act like a twenty-five year old. Well, news flash sweetheart, you're not twenty-five anymore and this song is proof you have lost your way. The plastic surgery may have alter your face and body but it sure as hell didn't alter your singing voice:

Danielle Staub- Real Close
Oh my god, what a trainwreck! It's one thing to not know how to handle a business, but singing talents? This woman is way beyond her limits here. Clearly the soundtrack is singing for her. Can I say EPIC FAIL. And don't even get me started on her dancing. She barely even does. She just stands there sashying while the guido-like dancers fawn over her. Then there's the other singer who, of course, upstages her and doing all the real dancing. Maybe she should just to leave it to her, cause seriously, Danielle Staub dosen't have a chance in the music business:

Kim Zolciak-Google Me
Pure Awful. How can Andy Cohen allow this? Hell I thought "Tardy for the Party" was a real hoot but this...There is no way to describe it's insipidness. It's truly a poor way to market yourself. Who's gonna goggle you Kim Zolciak? To see how many surgeries you had? To see how much those cheap wigs cost? Unfortuntely, nobody's gonna google you for your musical talents, that's for sure:

Countess Luann-Money Can't Buy Class
It can't buy you talent. Or good production values. How can someone with so much money have a cheap-looking video? For one thing, she's not putting any effort in her voice. Even the bad autotone can't save her. And who is she trying to mimick? Madonna of all people? There's one thing money can buy you, a reality TV show. So just do us a favor and stick to that:

Special Mention:
Hedi Montag-Body Language
Technically, Hedi Montag is not "Real Housewife." Therefore, she is a housewife, none-the-less and WAS on reality TV show. And you know, the plastic surgery thing of course. So there. Being the(ex?) wife of Spencer Pratt can pretty uneventful. So why not have a music career? Well, no. Not a good idea. And this performance proves to be Hedi's worst. I was afraid all that dancing would cause her breast implants to fall out. By the way, it seems she's having a really hard time even catching up with their choreography. I guess being a Britney Spears-wannabe isn't her for'te. Speaking of which Britney's VMA performance is much better by comparison. And that's saying something:

So there you have it, The talentless trainwrecks on reality television. And just to let you know, just because you're on TV, dosen't mean you gain any musical charms...

Top 3 Most Worst Cover Songs

I now present to you the absolute worst and hiliarous atempts at copying songs that really didnt' need to be copied. Please be my guest to embrace these stinkers...

Sondra Prill-Nasty
Oh my god, there is nothing cheesier than the 80's but this one takes the cake. So the singer Sondra Prill, as she is "elegantly" named, decides to butcher Janet Jackson's hit song Nasty. Then you wonder, is she taking herself too seriously or she making fun of herself, then again you wonder, is she off her medication? But my last guess would be she's probably drunk at some male strip club doing a bad karaoke rendention of this song. Though I have to give this video some points for bringing in some (besides the ridiculous 80's hairdos) awesome man candy:

Colton Ford-Lithium
The opening track sounds like he's in pain. Of course, we all were when we heard this horrorendus version of Nirvana's Lithium. How come someone take a classic 90's rock song and turn it into dance-pop trash is beyond me. Though Colton Ford isn't the only gay porn star turn muscian. There's Jeff Stryker and Johnny Hazzard to name a few. However, Colton Ford is possibly one of the worst gay porn star turned singers. I mean the song sounds like broken record for christ sakes. Don't get me wrong though, the man is really sexy. But sadly, that's what he's good at. Being sexy. Singing however....isn't one of his strongest attributes:

Kelly Osburne-Papa Dont' Preach
It pains me to put her on this list because Kelly has now matured into a highly fashioned, coffied young woman. But her version of Papa Don't Preach is one of the worst Madonna Cover songs. The song just make her seem like some Avril Lavinge/Pink Wannabe. Though you would know this wasn't all her idea. Some idiot producer thought, "Hey! Let's get a Madonna song and make it really edgy and rock and roll!" The result: A really edgy and rock and roll mess:

Movie Review: Final Destination 5

Finally after long-awaited anticipation, I come across this, although, it's above average compared to today's horror movies. But it's certianly the most entertaining with it's clever twist and turns, making this probably the best of the series, espeically after the abomonation that was part 4, which I refuse to review. It's starts off as your usual final destenation movie but as the plot thickens, the story and situations get more interesting.
The story: You kind of know the story by now. It gets a little repetive, however, this one is a little different than the others, though i don't want to tell you by spoiling, so here's a short syponsis.
Sam Lawton, a young chef, is on his way to a company retreat with his girlfriend and friends, when he has a sudden premonition that the bridge is going to collaspe. As you see in most of the movies, Sam warns his friends to get off the bus. They don't, of course, believe him until the events of vision comes true, leaving most of the survivors vunerable to the grim reaper's unexpected hits.
The acting was kind of good. The characters wasn't your typical young pretty rich kids, they're just people with regular day jobs, trying to get by, although some characters can be a bit unsavory(Issac to say for sure), they were pretty likeable at best.
Now let's get down to it with the boys. *sigh* Nicholas D'Agosto has the most enchanting brown eyes, you can sink in them. And those lips are so kissable. Yowza! Arlen Escapeta is also a sexy hunk with alluring brown eyes. Miles Fischer, although a bit unhinged, is quite an adorable hunk, sort of like a young Tom Cruise. Even though I don't know anything about her character, Emma Bell was quite promising. All I can say about Jacquelene Malnnes Wood, She's really good at playing a bitch. A funny, witty, sexy bitch at best. There's really nothing to say about Ellen Wroe. I mean her character was just....there, that's all.
The directing was very cool but had the dreaded 3-D effects. What is with that these days?
Hands down, the most suspenseful and by far the most brutal deaths of the scenes has got to be the gymnasium scene. You just keep wondering what's going to happen? What will happen here? What will happen there? And then...BOOM! Something happens unpredictably. It's the classic horror movie set-up. Which brings us the ending. Spolier Alert! Sam and Molly were planning this romantic trip to Paris where Sam is receiving his internship.....When suddenly they find out that there on flight 180, which brings us back to the events of the first film, making this an unoffical prequel.....Well, you know what happens next. Poor Sam.
It was really good and enjoyable. And it is certainly making up to the inferior preceeder with a better plot, better acting and much (less annoying) likeable characters.
My last word: A very haunting thrill ride with twist and turns.

South Califronia Preview

Prolouge
Cynthia
　
Fairfeild, New Jeresy was pretty much known for marketing home appliances and also promoting misleading commercials about products that didn't even work. At least that's what Ember aka "Emmy" Caplin thought about her hometown. She was born into a suburban community filled with lush green lawn and white picket fences, which seems to be a very idyllic view of New Jersey other than how it's depicted in most of today's views.
Ever since her parents met, They were clashed into two different worlds along side their alternate personalites. Her mom, Cnythia was a devoted Jew while her father, Timothy was a devoted catholic. Those kind of religions don't mix. So there was lots of family dicussions and indifferences to behold.
It all started in the wonderful island of New York city, with it's posh atmosphere and industrial buildings, Cynthia was plucky newcomer from Michigan, having hopes and dreams of becoming a broadway star.
Navie but resilant, Cynthia Savannnah Louise Marcowitz did anything to embolished herself into the broadway circut. One of them was dying her brown hair blond to look more like Madonna(Her many comparisons to Madonna would linger on from years to come). And secondly, befriend one of the aspiring broadway hopefuls. That's when she met Phibus nicknamed Phiby.
Phiby was an energetic, fun-loving dancer from Rhode Island. He kept a whole collection of classic broadway songs, posters, and movie adaptations of the stage shows, although he says it will never capture the essence of the estravaganza of the golden years. He, too, was a huge Madonna fan. being a openly homosexual from all across the states, It wouldn't be much of a surprise. This one time they filmed an affectionate parody of Madonna's 'Lucky Star' and decided to send it out to a broadway producer to showcase their talents, which was one of Cynthia tactics. The plan....didn't go well.
By the end of her freshman year, Cynthia befriended Nola Gumble hence the fact that she was jealous of her natural talent. She had classic beautiful features that resembles Rita Hayworth and Launa Turner and defined dancer's body with long shaply legs. Of course, she did confirm she use to take ballet classes. Everytime she enter a room, the boys couldn't stop staring at her. Everyday, Cynthia witnessed Nola writing a list of boys she'll go out with. Literally.
Compared to Nola, Cynthia was less convential with her prebuscent body and overly-high pitched voice. Which added even more jealously towards her. But friendly jealously to the least.
The Broadway amigos, that's the name Cynthia, Nola, and Phiby go by to their journey to stardom. Cynthia wondered, however, how long will this journey take?
They all lived in a three bedroom apartment, courtsey of Nola's father who payed half the rent. The only circumstance of living with those two was Phiby would bring in as much men as Nola did. Every night, Cynthia had to dread hearing the howls of passion and extacsy in the next room. Then she wondered why was she the only one that was dateless?
It wasn't long until the three friends got their big break on stage as...backup dancers, no less. They even were assigned as undermimed extras in non-musical plays. This was when Nola got a little competive, pushing every promising act out of the way for her own justifaction.
In the most to come, it payed off. After showing her poitrait photos, her resume on her ballet background, and her stunning good looks, front and center. For Cynthia and Phiby, They were still in background.
As a result of that, Cynthia had to work at a retail store part time to bring in extra money. Phiby had other plans. He decided to perform drag on open nights at Cameron's, an exclusive gay club two blocks from Broadway. After booking at least five shows, Phiby was a success.
Which leaves Cynthia in the big, empty apartment. But that didn't stop her from getting auditions although they were small roles. She probably guessed the producers felt she didn't have the convential look like Nola had. Nola. She even had a movie star name. How was a name like Cynthia appealing?
After getting burned for another audition, Cynthia ran into Timothy Caplin, who just got back from his studies. The first words he said was beautiful her singing voice was. And the rest is pretty much history.
What she liked about Timothy was his subtly yet he was uptight, unlike most of the guys she dates. He was one year away of finishing graduate school and had serious aspirations of going to law school but had other priorites on his mind, since his father was pressuring him to go that career path.
Nola and Phibus, on the other hand, thought they were totally wrong for each other. Cynthia was child-like and had a lush for life while Timothy was serious and principled. They thought he was too boring for her but Cynthia liked that he was serious-minded. Timothy liked that Cynthia was life-fulling than his tight-knit lifestyle.
By junior year of college, Cynthia decided to take a break from acting and settle for a job as a receptionist at a modeling agency. By then, Nola flew out to L.A. for T.V. gig and Phiby went on to do a drag show in France. Which left Cynthia one person in mind: Timothy.
The summer after college, Timothy summed up the courage to propose to Cynthia at Central Park. She looked into those soft brown eyes of his and simply said yes.
Once the news broke out, it really didn't fly well with some of the family members who came from different backgrounds and standpoints. Although there was tension in the air, The Marcowitzes and The Caplins kept their fueds in check.
The week after graduation, Cynthia and Timothy got married in a small chapel right close to Brooklyn. Now that she was married, Cynthia wondered where she was going from here. Phiby and Nola went on to have a successful careers, performing and acting. Cynthia, however, was stuck in the middle. Will she ever have the chance in the spotlight? Will she ever grace the magic of theater? She decided....it wasn't for her now. She was a happily married woman with a loving, caring husband. She was happy where she was now. In her humble opinon, showbiz wasn't for her.
Timothy wanted to escape the fast-paced city life for a quiet simple life in the suburbs. Cynthia happily obliged, focusing on to becoming a housewife-homemaker while Timothy took a job as an accountant, which didn't comply well with his father but there wasn't any further complaints from him. They settled in Fairfield, New Jeresy, Timothy's hometown. Two years of hardworking and comfort-living, Cynthia was expecting.
At Fairfield Memorial hospital, 5:45am, Ember Flora Caplin was born.
Phibus was there, being the proud godfather....or godmother for the little bundle of joy. Strangely, Nola wasn't there for the event, claiming that her film schedule was in the way. Out of a blink of an eye, Cynthia never heard from her again, only having Phiby as one of her good friends. But again, she was happy where she was now. And found a new friend to hold on to: Her Darling Ember.
Which begins Ember's Journey.....