Movie Review: Sorority Row(2009)

Yet another movie remake involving spoiled, vapid college bitches. Unlike my last review, i actually quite enjoyed this. The characters maybe repulsive to watch at times, but the main actors were really good, including the main alpha bitch. Etheir you love her or you hate her, she was definitely revieting, kind of like the Blair Waldorf of slasher movies. The story matched well with the pacing, mixing the "I know what you did last summer" feel with the "Scream" Who-done-it feel together.
So here's the story: Sorority Sisters decide to pull a prank one of the girls' cheating boyfriend by faking her death. Then, while on distant road, the prank turns deadly when the boyfriend accidently kills her a tire iron. In a heap of panic, the girls quickly dispose of the body deep down in a deserted ditch. Eight months later, when one of their sorority members are murdered, the girls must make a run for their lives as a vengful killer picks them off one by one.
The acting is quite good. The strongest performers are Brianna Evigan, Leah Pipes, and Rumer Willis. Especially Leah Pipes who stoled the show as the take-no-charge rich bitch. The girl almost had me convinced with her vicisous performance. Brianna Evigan, who is a great underrated actress, gives a subtle but strong and not to mention badass, performance as our final girl. The performance that really struck me was Rumer Willis' role as the sweet, shy girl. She was so sympatheic, that it was good to see her live throught the end. Honestly, these three actresses are the true stars of this movie. I would like to point out special cameos. There's Carrie Fisher who is hillarious as the shotgun-toting, foul-mouth, kickass house mother. Then there's Audrina Partridge, who's character was so short-lived, I didn't get to judge how well her acting was. To be honest, she's in the same leauge as her Hills co-star, Kristen Cavallari, who makes out of her acting career in straight-to-DVD movies. Tough luck but it's the truth. Now....The moment you have been waitng for, The boys of Sorority Row: Julian Morris, the sexy, british hunk who had a killing-thrilling time in this role. Also there's another hunk in this murderous duo, our upcoming hunk of the day, Matt Lanter. Those eyes of his are mesmerizing. Which would bring the question: Why do the hottest men go crazy? Let's not forget Matt Leary, who was a tad crazy but still adorable as Megan's Boyfriend. Really didn't get to see much of his character but he was good so far.
There were some hits and misses in some scenes. Like a random girl getting killed in the shower. Ok, people we've seen that in too many horror films already. The deaths scenes could've been more effective. But what I couldn't help was how I compared this to Black Christmas. You have a bitchy female cast, a hoot of a house mother, a boozy sorority sister, two deranged killers and a slightly campy feel. But this was way much better than Black Christmas, which was very obscure. This movie has much better character development, more inventive kills, and more strong, resilent female leads. The story was good, the acting was great, and the pacing rolled pretty well. It isn't the greatest movie ever, but it's sure damn entertaing.
My Last Word: A fairly entertaining watch.

Black Christmas(2006)

Oh God, this was a stinker. What bugs me the most is how unpleasant the characters are. It's bad enough we have to waste our precious 90 or so minutes watching these superficial, shallow bitches go at each other. The original cast was much more likeable than this repulsive bunch. Not only that, the kills are lame and tired and there's not an ounce of suspense to keep the story rolling.
So you all know the story: Rich, spoiled sorority sisters decide to spend their Christmas at their college campus, only what they don't know is there is a an escaped mental patient inside their house, waiting for his thirst of blood to spill upon the girls. Like I said the characters are pretty annoying. They are nothing but a bunch of vapid, insipid rich girls who complain, whine, and spit insults at each other. One of my favorite characters in the original was Barb. She stole the show with her raunchy jokes and drunken antics. This version of Barb is a pale comparison. All she does is act bitchy, lay around, drink her wine, and look pretty. Phyllis, the nice girl is now played by Michelle Trachtenberg who was actually good, it was a shame we didn't get to see much of her and I did felt some sympathy when her character died because she was one of the few decent ones. On a special note, Andrea Martin, the actress who played Phyllis, is a hoot as the girls' house mother. Lacey Charbert is also a hoot gaining her comedic chops from her mean girls fame. Mary Elizabeth Wienstead could've done a better job but of course since she was such a waste of character, there really wasn't much to give her any development. There wouldn't be a slasher film if you don't have a hunky guy involved and that is the case with Oliver Hudson. He is quite the philandering jerk in this movie and not much to his character etheir but boy is he hot or what?
Last but not least our final girl of the movie who is played by veteran horror and TV actress Kelli Pressley. She was quite good here. I mean she's no Jamie Lee Curtis but at least she did her best. Would've been much better if there was character development involved. All we see to her character is the cute blond good girl. But who cares, this movie was so shitty it couldn't give the actors or their roles any justice.
The kills were pretty lame. And just to be sure, in the 1974 version, there is only one death scene in which a character is suffocated through a plastic bag. In this version, this happens repeatedly including getting their eyes gouged out. Seeing this over and over again is just stupid. Compared to the 1974 film, the kills were  much more inventive and the building up of those scenes kept you on the edge of your seat. also in the original, it wasn't just your typical slasher film, it was thriller with interesting characters and realistic situations but like any other horror remake, it just sucks the life out of it, making it into a run-of-the-mill slasher shitfest.
My last word: A waste of your time and my five bucks at the movie theater.

Hunk Of The Day: Ashton Kutcher

Our recently divorced hunk of the day is known for such shows as That 70's Show and the recent Two and Half men gig. He is none-other-than:

Ashton Kutcher. Funny and Sexy, this hunk knows how to pull your strings. My heart goes out to Demi Moore who is my favorite actress, But aren't you just a bit happy he's back on the market?
Showcase, please:

This is back in his oh so sultry modeling days. The black and white shade makes him oh so mysterious.

What a gorgeous profile!

Look at those biceps, ooh!

Tan and Ready!

That is one sexy beard


Now onto the shirtless pics:

Looking good in those swim trunks

Flash for the camera!

Wet m' wild!

Single and Ready to mingle, this hunk is sure to crash the hipster scene. So ladies get ready!

Friday the 13th

Well I guess it's that time of the year, Which I did not totally expect. Let's see what's happening.....nothing much, but there is Harper's Island marathon on the chiller channel and 13 scary movie moments afterward. That's pretty much it unless you wanna celebrate by watching a Friday The 13th movie marathon, which brings back the day when I was 12 yrs old. Now let's have a small review of Harper's Island. I know the writers made it out to be a murder mystery but in my eyes it's just a slasher film TV Series.

The acting is good, The plot is driven, There is character development but not much all on the cast. But who cares, this is a slasher movie at best. More like Scream than Then There was none. It has a hot cast, some distrubing kills, and a deserted island. That's a slasher film for ya. Now I'm not saying this show is awesome or anything but at least it's watchable.

Now to Showcase Jason's Famous kills. More the 13 if you ask me:

Movie Review: House Of Wax

This wasn't exactly bad. Yes, it's a bit campy and yeah, the characters are kind of dull but I releatively enjoyed this. Now for one thing, I'm not saying this is great or anything but there were some fantastic suspenseful scene that really stood the movie out.
So here's the story: Six twentysomethings: Kimberly from 24, Sam from Supernatural, Lucas from One Tree Hill, Some annoying guy with a camera, The almighty Paris Hilton, and that guy from One on One, camp out in a deserted wooded area while making their trip to a football game. They are soon visciously attacked by two deranged twins who after they've killed their victims, mold them into wax. Therefore, only two can survive their deadly game.
There would be a reason why I didn't say the character's names. There really wasn't much to tell about them. They were just cardboard cutouts though the acting overshadowed that. But only with the two leads. Elisha Cuthbert was actually good. She took the final girl role and rolled with it smoothly. Chad Micheal Murray. Mmmm......Chad Micheal Murray. Not only was he great at playing the bad boy, he looked good playing the part, too. Good gravy, did you see those abs? Hunk Alert! Oh also I'll be glad to mention the tall, dark, and handsome Jared Padalecki. Not much to his character but damn, did he look sexy. Now let's get to the queen of media Paris Hilton. It's not anything to say about her. She seemed kind of bored. There was no depth to her character other than just being a glassy-eyed bimbo. But for one thing, it was kind of disrespectful having a camcorder follow her around, given the fact this was right around her sex tape scandal. Nothing to say about the other actors. More like props if you ask me. Just an annoying guy with a camera and the primadonna's jock boyfriend.
One special note, did the killers look hot or what. Why do the hottest men in horror films go crazy? It's beyond me.
There were a couple of scenes that really stood out like movie theater scene which was awesome and suspenseful. And I must confess, Paris Hilton's death scene was quite hair-rasing and believeable.
Though may I must add three more points to Elisha. The girl can throw a mean baseball hit.
The pacing was meh. The normal timing rate for a slasher film is about 85 to 90 minutes But when I found out this was about two hours, I thought, boy a movie that long has to have a story to it. The story was actually good. The whole good twin/bad twin anatomy had a great symbolic touch to it.
So, although it was a little campy, I quite enjoyed this. It keeps you interested and on the edge of your seat. But they could've developed the characters way much better than they were.
My last word is: A fun thrill ride for any slasher fan to enjoy.

Movie Review: Scream 4

I certianly enjoyed this sequel. I like how they still kept the witty dialouge and the genre savvy techniques fresh, especially when it comes to horror movies these days which is filled with pointless reimaginings and prequel/sequels. Scream 4, however, does a good job at rehashing the feel of the first film and then turning it into something completely different in the second act, which would be a definite spoiler for you folks out there, so keep in check.
Now here's the story: During a book tour for her autobiographical novel, Sidney Prescott returns to her hometown and back to the skeletons in her closet. Her two partners in crime-fighting are having fairly normal lives. Dewy is now sherrif and Gale, who was best-known for writing non-fiction, is now writing just fiction. Meanwhile, there is a new batch of characters along the way: Kirby, the horror movie fangirl, Oliva, the beauty queen, Charlie and Robbie, two horror movie enthusasists, and Jill, Sidney's long distant cousin, who is also having relationship issues with her boyfriend, Trevor. Just then, two teenage girls have been burtally murdered, stirring up the town's paranoia. The plot thickens when Jill recieves a phone call from the killer prompting Sidney, Dewy, and Gale to face the battle at hand yet again.
I liked how they kept the story fresh yet subtle. The opening scene was really cool. Jumping from movie to movie was totally inventive. Although the film was quite suspenseful and entertaining, it felt a bit rushed. There were some characters who were killed without us even knowing them. Oh yes, the characters, let's get to them. I mostly suggest the more memorable ones. First let's start with Hayden Panettiere's lovable performance as Kirby. She was a spitfire of a vixen and it would've been cool if she was the film's final girl. she knows her way around horror films, why not have her as one. Then there's the lovely Marley Shelton as deputy Judy Hicks. Her character was all but cute and quirky, though a little weird, I still love her for it. How can I not mention the blue-eyed cutie Rory Culkin as Charlie. His performance was so adorable I couldn't help but blush. Too bad he's one of the main killers though.
Emma Roberts pretty much blew me away. Boy, can she amp up the crazy or what? From being the sweet, shy, supposed final girl to being the knife-wielding, blood-thirsty bitch-on-wheels was clever twist. Damn you Jill Roberts you fooled us all. And boy, did she wanted to steal the crown from Sidney, queen of the final girls. What was even more hiliarious was her self-harming scene. Gosh, this girl is fucking dedicated.
As always there is our herioc trio, Neve Campbell, David Arquette, and Courtney Cox, especially Courtney Cox, who is stunning and powerful as ever. Sidney, you will be dear to my heart as a kickass final girl. Dewy is as sympathic as he once was before but more resilant and strong-willed.
The directing is, of course, suspenseful and the edge-your-seat inducing, although the editing was a bit shaky. Overall, the movie was pretty good. Now, I'm not saying this was a masterpeice but it's better than most horror movies these days which the creators are so intent on remaking these films. This addition is sort of an 'F' you to them all.
My Last Word: With it's mix of dark humor and horror, this movie is definitely a watch.

Very Long Break

Sorry for the long delay, folks. I've just been really busy with working on new novels and creating short stories, I just didn't have the time to blog and internet went out for a while but I'll be sure to update new reviews and other pop culture treats soon...happy new year!