About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Hunk Of The Day: Robert Downey Jr.

This Hunk is know to be a little wilder back in his younger days but through hell and back, he has grown to be a very suave gentlemen and has also grown to have one Iron of a body. He is the one and only.....

Robert Downey Jr. At first, he was just an average cute guy with a quirky sense of humor but once his role in Iron man came along, Man! has he been working out or what! but before I give you taste of his body makeover, let's showcase his sauve sexiness in his early photos....

Gotta love the hat on him


Sexy in Shades


Blond is defintely his color


Nice Haircut

Now here's the shirtless pics you been waiting for.....

Woah! look at the biceps on him!


Abs of Steel. No pun intended


Now that's what I call a rock star body


Jackpot! Red Briefs are totally rockin'

So There you have it, a hunk that's a true Iron man in real life. Not only does he have a sense of humor and a sense of style, he has major kudos for the body as well.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Hunk Of The Day: Mark Ruffalo

Our First Superhero Hunk is a very charming but serious actor who has the ability to turn green and bulk up very nice muscles. He is the totally adorable......


Mark Ruffalo. Sadly, I don't have any shirtless pictures of him at the moment but hey, you don't have to take your shirt off to be a presentable hunk. It's men who are naturally sexy who have the points at being an all around hunk and Mark pretty much has it. I mean take a look at these pictures if you know what I mean. (Oh and if you want to see all the good stuff, check out the Kids Are Alright, he's pretty much naked in some of the scenes)


He would make a really good male model


mmmm. Very sexy pose


Mark knows how to sport a sexy mustache


Pucker up! :)

So there you have it, a seemingly adorable hunk that can grow muscles if he wanted to, if you make him angry by the way.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Hunk Of The Day: Avengers edition

I now present to you, hunk of the day: Avengers edition! which will feature our fine speciman of superheroes including: Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth, and Chris Evans. Keep a look out ladies and gay gents, the superhunks are coming to town!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Hatchet(2006)




Boy, was this movie a hoot or what? I have never had so much fun watching this, I mean I literally felt like I was twelve years old again watching a classic slasher film.
For those of you out there, it's not a reconstruction of slashers from the golden era(the deaths were handled more crafty and more realistically during that era), it's more of the reconstruction of the awfully cheesy and over the top slasher of the mid to late eighties. It's overall comedic effect is the film's charm and we have a killer that could stand over Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees any day.
Here's the story: A group of tourists are suddenly stranded on abandoned Louisiana swamp while going on a boat tour. unknownbest to them, a hulking, disfigured boogeyman is out to catch it's prey.
The acting is fantastic. Yes, some of the characters can be annoying, stupid, and outright mundane but some of them had their charm along the way. And besides that's what you expect from these movies: you just can't wait to see these people get killed. Oh yes, the kills. I will definitely get to that later.
Joel Moore was simply adorable as Ben. Even though, his character his a bit whiny and uptight, you still feel sympathy for him. Tamara Feldman did a fine job as tortured heroine Mary-Beth. Deon Richmond was witty as Ben's wise-cracking best friend, Marcus. But the true standout is Mercedes Macnab's hilarious performance as inept dumb blonde Mitsy. She was the true comedian, especially scenes involving partner in crime Joleigh Fioreavanti, who had decent comedic skills as well.
Parry Shen who plays the tour director responsible for the aforementioned plot was....kind of annoying and eventually the most unfunny character in the movie.  That's all.
Now let's get to the killer Victor Crowley played by hot daddy Kane Hodder. The killer is awesome. Not only is he intimidating in his hulking appearance, he can kill someone with his bare hands! Yes, the kills, which are insanely over-the-top. The deaths are cringe-worthy but it's not meant to be taken seriously because it's so unrealistic.
The foggy setting of the swamp are very atmospheric, which gives it the feel of the golden age slasher. The suspense is pretty head on and the pace is pretty fast all while getting the story going and developing the characters well enough.
So there you have it, a bloody fun slasher rollercoaster thrill ride that will both make you laugh and scream.
Last word: a definite must see!


Detention(2011)




I actually had fun watching this. Even though it's not everybody's cup of tea, it's fairly entertaining in it's own right. It's starts off as a quirky teen comedy in the vien of Scott Pilgrim and it's tends to be a parody of not only teen slasher films but the whole teen genre as well.
Here's the story: High school students in different social backgrounds are placed in detention under suspension that one of them are responsible for the murder of two prominiet high school students all the while a homicidal pyscho dressed as the serial killer from the fictional Cinderhella movie are stalking the hallways.
The acting was excellent and many of the actors had great comedic timing. The strongest performance out of all of them has got to be Shanely Caswell and she's many of the final girls we relate to.  Josh Hutcherson has grown up to be quite handsome gentlemen. And this is before his post-hunger games hunk transformation. He was, of course, very charming and delightful throughout. Spencer Locke was also very charming as the 90's refrencing cheerleader even though her charcter was something of a bitch. It was nice to see Dane Cook playing something different other than his alpha-male roles.
I have to hand it to you, the Riley chase scenes were quite susupenseful and death scenes are very over-the-top and violent even though you don't get to see much killing. Which brings me to the second half of the film. It's bascially turned into a sci-fi-time traveling adventure and that when the movie became a little too....soft. Even for a SLASHER. It's basically all over the place and there are too many plots that you just can't catch up. But I like this movie and it does, of course, has it's clever moments. So you just have to watch this with an open mind without dwelling too deep on the story.
Last word: it's not for everyone, but for anyone looking for good-ole fashion spaced out fun, this is the movie for you.


Sunday, September 30, 2012

Movie Review: The Cabin In The Woods



Finally, I get to come across this after much anticipation and i have to say the wait was worth it. Created by Joss Whedon known for Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse, gives us a new take on the horror genre. Usually in today's horror, it's tired, overused, and the least bit interesting but this movie seeem to change all of our minds. The filmmakers takes the basic horror movie formula and takes it into a completely different level, putting one horror genre after another. But before I put this review into play, I will have to warn you that there are some major spoilers involved to keep this going, so let's begin.
Here's the story: Five ordinary college students become the unwilling pawns to a secret organization who turns them into horror movie sterotypes, ultimately falling into a real horror movie they can't seem to get out of.
Joss Whedon loves to subvert and deconstruct typical horror movie tropes and make of his own. For example: You have the handsome jock, who is very smart and capable of being the leader but is downgraded into being the dumb jock by the scientist's manipualtions. then you have the virginal heroine who turns out not to be so virginal since she had a(though regretable) affair with her college professor but in this played out horror movie plot she is programmed to be so. Next, you have a sassy, witty young woman, who has turned into the dumb blonde sterotype but she is netheir blonde nor dumb. Much afterwards, you have a jock with an average I.Q. but somehow tunred into the smart guy with high intelligence. Last but least, you have the stoner who is immune to the artifical gases that the scientists implanted and is therefore AWARE of what's going on unlike most stoner characters in such films who just sit in the background, waiting to be killed like idiots.
The acting was great, especially from Kristen Connolly, who plays the "Final Girl" role in perfect spades and Frank Kranz, who's character type is usually annoying, is rather funny and charming. The two actors also give great nods to Willow(Buffy the Vampire Slayer Series) and Shaggy(Scobby Doo) to a T. You may see some notable faces in this movie such as Amy Acker, which I was delighted to see since Fred was one of my favorite characters on Angel. Then you have Grey's Anatomy hunk Jesse Williams, his blue eyes are certainly enchanting and that body is to die for. Last but not least we have the very sexy, hot Chris Hemsworth and once again we get to see his perfectly sculpted body but for only one scene.
The Plot is very smart and surprising to say at least, which will lead to the big ol' spoiler so don't say I warned you.
The reason why the secret organization is inventing the whole horror movie scenario is to stop the ancient one(meaning powerful gods) from regaining it's wrath, thus ending the world. So in order to prevent this, they please them by getting a bunch of youngsters and killing them one by one in a ritual order. So this isn't soely for anybody's entertainment anymore, this is for the fate of mankind. Now that's pretty damn jarring! But guess whose the director of all this....Sigourney Weaver. Yes, that's right. Freakin' Ripley is behind all this. Totally unexpected indeed.
But the really big wham is towards the ending, in which a character must choose between sacrifcing himself in order to save humanity or be able to live, even though he'll die along with the rest of earth's population. Guess what he does: He chooses to live, ending the world entirely. And you're stuck between whether to root for him or be pissed off by his otherwise selfish decison.
 It was a blast to watch. Throughout the movie, I just felt something big was going to happen and oh was I in for a surprise....blood, gore and monsters in a heavy, dramatic climax! and don't forget the obvious shot-outs to other horror films.
You can see Josh Whedon put his heart and soul into this project and it payed off with an amazing quality.
My last word: A classic examation of horror films which is a classic itself.


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Special Announcement: Manhattan Girls Is Finally Published On Amazon!

This the finished cover if you try and search it anywhere on the website. I"m not exactly getting any readers right because I have to find unique ways to promote or make anybody seek attention to it. It's not going to be easy, even though this is only the first book and there will be many others along the way. I will warn you though, I was in a pretty big rush to publish it, probably too excited for my own good, but besides all that, don't judge me if I have a little errors with certain words on the prolouge of Gwen's Dairy, I made many corrections on that but don't scorn the whole book just because of  a few mistakes, I worked really hard it and hope it will at least be decent. I revisioned this book at least two times in a span of five years, so at least that will give me a some credit, right? So here is Manhattan Girls published and ready to read on Amazon Kindle. Write a review if you have the chance.
Side note: Comment on the Cover if you like it or not.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Movie Review: Buffy The Vampire Slayer


If you thought 80's teen films were cheesy, the teen films from the early 90's would surely hold a candle to it, with it's colorful fashions and over-the-top dance music.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer pretty much glorifies this to the end.
I loved the TV series(only the first three seasons, season five was okay) and when I first watched this, I was only a wee eight-years-old. Yes, people I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV series since I was seven years old which lead me to this. Crazy, right? Back then, I actually enjoyed it and didn't see how cheesy was and as a kid I pretty much had fun watching it. Nowadays, I see how incredibly campy it is though still fun in a way. For instance, just compare it to the television series and see how different in tone they are. And you see how the TV series is better in terms of quality.
So you all know the story by now: A vapid valley girl named Buffy soon learns that she is the chosen one, slayer of the vampires, and with the help of a mysterious master is trained in for battle. Meanwhile, the evil lord of vampires and his army is planning on invading the school dance. It is only up to Buffy to stop the awakening of these blood-sucking fiends.
I would say Kristy Swanson was terrific. You can see why she was so memorable in this role, playing the characters in two parallels: The ditzy, valley girl type and the kickass, action girl heroine. She also parallels into the comedy and seriousness of the character, which was also done well by Sarah Michelle Gellar in the TV show.
Luke Perry was also fun to watch. At first, I thought his character showed no purpose other than just being the heroine's love interest but then I saw how much flexibility he put into the character and saw how likeable he was. You would think an acclaimed actor like Donald Sutherland would give off a hammy performance but he was profoundly low-key, providing his character with a dry sense of humor which made his presence all the more enjoyable. Paul Rubens AkA Pee Wee Herman, on the other hand, gives us a top-notch campy performance as the villain's flamboyant right hand man. It was pretty jarring to see him in a role like this and ever since then he's been taking quirky roles like this. Probably it had something to do with that incident that sort of changed his image a bit....okay, moving on. I will totally not end this segment without mentioning Hillary Swanks' performance or even David Arquette's before his Scream heyday. I pretty much have to say that Hilary gave it all even though it was a relatively small role. David Arquette takes a ride down the campy, hammy train as one of the villain's henchmen. This one too is a small role but memorable at best. And without further ado, You can catch a young Ben Affleck in a blink it or miss it role.
Although the movie is mainstream, it still has that b-movie feel, giving the notion it really isn't taking itself too seriously, which in my opinion, kind of works. I would like to point out a particular scene where Buffy steals a biker's motorcycle while chasing a vampire in pursuit. The biker calls her the d-word just for that. Just to let you know it was still fresh for female action heros to take the lead in film, since this was ongoing from the 70s to the 80s, it was still interesting and fresh. But I have to call out on the movie's script though, just because a woman is empowered, doesn't make her lesbian. But this was film in Los Angeles back in the early nineties. So yeah, it holds the message that women Especially valley girls can't hold their own sword on their own. However, Unfortunate Implications aside, it's still an enjoyable(though unsuccessful) 90's gem.
Final word: It may not hold a candle to the TV show but it's a cult classic in it's own right.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Housewives At Their Worst

Here I present to you the talentless stars of reality T.V. Mostly coming from the Real Housewives franchise. God, do these women really think they can catch i tune? I surely do not. So please let us begin the horror show.....

Gretchen Rossi-Revelation
So botox beauty queen aka Gretchen Rossi decided to broadcoast her ludicrious song to date, "Revelation". As you can see she clearly trying to emote her face since her face is alway, always tight while lip-synching trying to act like a twenty-five year old. Well, news flash sweetheart, you're not twenty-five anymore and this song is proof you have lost your way. The plastic surgery may have alter your face and body but it sure as hell didn't alter your singing voice:



Danielle Staub- Real Close
Oh my god, what a trainwreck! It's one thing to not know how to handle a business, but singing talents? This woman is way beyond her limits here. Clearly the soundtrack is singing for her. Can I say EPIC FAIL. And don't even get me started on her dancing. She barely even does. She just stands there sashying while the guido-like dancers fawn over her. Then there's the other singer who, of course, upstages her and doing all the real dancing. Maybe she should just to leave it to her, cause seriously, Danielle Staub dosen't have a chance in the music business:


Kim Zolciak-Google Me
Pure Awful. How can Andy Cohen allow this? Hell I thought "Tardy for the Party" was a real hoot but this...There is no way to describe it's insipidness. It's truly a poor way to market yourself. Who's gonna goggle you Kim Zolciak? To see how many surgeries you had? To see how much those cheap wigs cost? Unfortuntely, nobody's gonna google you for your musical talents, that's for sure:


Countess Luann-Money Can't Buy Class
It can't buy you talent. Or good production values. How can someone with so much money have a cheap-looking video? For one thing, she's not putting any effort in her voice. Even the bad autotone can't save her. And who is she trying to mimick? Madonna of all people? There's one thing money can buy you, a reality TV show. So just do us a favor and stick to that:


Special Mention:
Hedi Montag-Body Language
Technically, Hedi Montag is not "Real Housewife." Therefore, she is a housewife, none-the-less and WAS on reality TV show. And you know, the plastic surgery thing of course. So there. Being the(ex?) wife of Spencer Pratt can pretty uneventful. So why not have a music career? Well, no. Not a good idea. And this performance proves to be Hedi's worst. I was afraid all that dancing would cause her breast implants to fall out. By the way, it seems she's having a really hard time even catching up with their choreography. I guess being a Britney Spears-wannabe isn't her for'te. Speaking of which Britney's VMA performance is much better by comparison. And that's saying something:


So there you have it, The talentless trainwrecks on reality television. And just to let you know, just because you're on TV, dosen't mean you gain any musical charms...

Monday, August 27, 2012

Top 3 Most Worst Cover Songs

I now present to you the absolute worst and hiliarous atempts at copying songs that really didnt' need to be copied. Please be my guest to embrace these stinkers...

Sondra Prill-Nasty
Oh my god, there is nothing cheesier than the 80's but this one takes the cake. So the singer Sondra Prill, as she is "elegantly" named, decides to butcher Janet Jackson's hit song Nasty. Then you wonder, is she taking herself too seriously or she making fun of herself, then again you wonder, is she off her medication? But my last guess would be she's probably drunk at some male strip club doing a bad karaoke rendention of this song. Though I have to give this video some points for bringing in some (besides the ridiculous 80's hairdos) awesome man candy:



Colton Ford-Lithium
The opening track sounds like he's in pain. Of course, we all were when we heard this horrorendus version of Nirvana's Lithium. How come someone take a classic 90's rock song and turn it into dance-pop trash is beyond me. Though Colton Ford isn't the only gay porn star turn muscian. There's Jeff Stryker and Johnny Hazzard to name a few. However, Colton Ford is possibly one of the worst gay porn star turned singers. I mean the song sounds like broken record for christ sakes. Don't get me wrong though, the man is really sexy. But sadly, that's what he's good at. Being sexy. Singing however....isn't one of his strongest attributes:




Kelly Osburne-Papa Dont' Preach
It pains me to put her on this list because Kelly has now matured into a highly fashioned, coffied young woman. But her version of Papa Don't Preach is one of the worst Madonna Cover songs. The song just make her seem like some Avril Lavinge/Pink Wannabe. Though you would know this wasn't all her idea. Some idiot producer thought, "Hey! Let's get a Madonna song and make it really edgy and rock and roll!" The result: A really edgy and rock and roll mess:

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Movie Review: Final Destination 5




Finally after long-awaited anticipation, I come across this, although, it's above average compared to today's horror movies. But it's certianly the most entertaining with it's clever twist and turns, making this probably the best of the series, espeically after the abomonation that was part 4, which I refuse to review. It's starts off as your usual final destenation movie but as the plot thickens, the story and situations get more interesting.
The story: You kind of know the story by now. It gets a little repetive, however, this one is a little different than the others, though i don't want to tell you by spoiling, so here's a short syponsis.
Sam Lawton, a young chef, is on his way to a company retreat with his girlfriend and friends, when he has a sudden premonition that the bridge is going to collaspe. As you see in most of the movies, Sam warns his friends to get off the bus. They don't, of course, believe him until the events of vision comes true, leaving most of the survivors vunerable to the grim reaper's unexpected hits.
The acting was kind of good. The characters wasn't your typical young pretty rich kids, they're just people with regular day jobs, trying to get by, although some characters can be a bit unsavory(Issac to say for sure), they were pretty likeable at best.
Now let's get down to it with the boys. *sigh* Nicholas D'Agosto has the most enchanting brown eyes, you can sink in them. And those lips are so kissable. Yowza! Arlen Escapeta is also a sexy hunk with alluring brown eyes. Miles Fischer, although a bit unhinged, is quite an adorable hunk, sort of like a young Tom Cruise. Even though I don't know anything about her character, Emma Bell was quite promising. All I can say about Jacquelene Malnnes Wood, She's really good at playing a bitch. A funny, witty, sexy bitch at best. There's really nothing to say about Ellen Wroe. I mean her character was just....there, that's all.
The directing was very cool but had the dreaded 3-D effects. What is with that these days?
Hands down, the most suspenseful and by far the most brutal deaths of the scenes has got to be the gymnasium scene. You just keep wondering what's going to happen? What will happen here? What will happen there? And then...BOOM! Something happens unpredictably. It's the classic horror movie set-up. Which brings us the ending. Spolier Alert! Sam and Molly were planning this romantic trip to Paris where Sam is receiving his internship.....When suddenly they find out that there on flight 180, which brings us back to the events of the first film, making this an unoffical prequel.....Well, you know what happens next. Poor Sam.
It was really good and enjoyable. And it is certainly making up to the inferior preceeder with a better plot, better acting and much (less annoying) likeable characters.
My last word: A very haunting thrill ride with twist and turns.


Friday, July 27, 2012

South Califronia Preview

Prolouge
Cynthia
 
Fairfeild, New Jeresy was pretty much known for marketing home appliances and also promoting misleading commercials about products that didn't even work. At least that's what Ember aka "Emmy" Caplin thought about her hometown. She was born into a suburban community filled with lush green lawn and white picket fences, which seems to be a very idyllic view of New Jersey other than how it's depicted in most of today's views.
Ever since her parents met, They were clashed into two different worlds along side their alternate personalites. Her mom, Cnythia was a devoted Jew while her father, Timothy was a devoted catholic. Those kind of religions don't mix. So there was lots of family dicussions and indifferences to behold.
It all started in the wonderful island of New York city, with it's posh atmosphere and industrial buildings, Cynthia was plucky newcomer from Michigan, having hopes and dreams of becoming a broadway star.
Navie but resilant, Cynthia Savannnah Louise Marcowitz did anything to embolished herself into the broadway circut. One of them was dying her brown hair blond to look more like Madonna(Her many comparisons to Madonna would linger on from years to come). And secondly, befriend one of the aspiring broadway hopefuls. That's when she met Phibus nicknamed Phiby.
Phiby was an energetic, fun-loving dancer from Rhode Island. He kept a whole collection of classic broadway songs, posters, and movie adaptations of the stage shows, although he says it will never capture the essence of the estravaganza of the golden years. He, too, was a huge Madonna fan. being a openly homosexual from all across the states, It wouldn't be much of a surprise. This one time they filmed an affectionate parody of Madonna's 'Lucky Star' and decided to send it out to a broadway producer to showcase their talents, which was one of Cynthia tactics. The plan....didn't go well.
By the end of her freshman year, Cynthia befriended Nola Gumble hence the fact that she was jealous of her natural talent. She had classic beautiful features that resembles Rita Hayworth and Launa Turner and defined dancer's body with long shaply legs. Of course, she did confirm she use to take ballet classes. Everytime she enter a room, the boys couldn't stop staring at her. Everyday, Cynthia witnessed Nola writing a list of boys she'll go out with. Literally.
Compared to Nola, Cynthia was less convential with her prebuscent body and overly-high pitched voice. Which added even more jealously towards her. But friendly jealously to the least.
The Broadway amigos, that's the name Cynthia, Nola, and Phiby go by to their journey to stardom. Cynthia wondered, however, how long will this journey take?
They all lived in a three bedroom apartment, courtsey of Nola's father who payed half the rent. The only circumstance of living with those two was Phiby would bring in as much men as Nola did. Every night, Cynthia had to dread hearing the howls of passion and extacsy in the next room. Then she wondered why was she the only one that was dateless?
It wasn't long until the three friends got their big break on stage as...backup dancers, no less. They even were assigned as undermimed extras in non-musical plays. This was when Nola got a little competive, pushing every promising act out of the way for her own justifaction.
In the most to come, it payed off. After showing her poitrait photos, her resume on her ballet background, and her stunning good looks, front and center. For Cynthia and Phiby, They were still in background.
As a result of that, Cynthia had to work at a retail store part time to bring in extra money. Phiby had other plans. He decided to perform drag on open nights at Cameron's, an exclusive gay club two blocks from Broadway. After booking at least five shows, Phiby was a success.
Which leaves Cynthia in the big, empty apartment. But that didn't stop her from getting auditions although they were small roles. She probably guessed the producers felt she didn't have the convential look like Nola had. Nola. She even had a movie star name. How was a name like Cynthia appealing?
After getting burned for another audition, Cynthia ran into Timothy Caplin, who just got back from his studies. The first words he said was beautiful her singing voice was. And the rest is pretty much history.
What she liked about Timothy was his subtly yet he was uptight, unlike most of the guys she dates. He was one year away of finishing graduate school and had serious aspirations of going to law school but had other priorites on his mind, since his father was pressuring him to go that career path.
Nola and Phibus, on the other hand, thought they were totally wrong for each other. Cynthia was child-like and had a lush for life while Timothy was serious and principled. They thought he was too boring for her but Cynthia liked that he was serious-minded. Timothy liked that Cynthia was life-fulling than his tight-knit lifestyle.
By junior year of college, Cynthia decided to take a break from acting and settle for a job as a receptionist at a modeling agency. By then, Nola flew out to L.A. for T.V. gig and Phiby went on to do a drag show in France. Which left Cynthia one person in mind: Timothy.
The summer after college, Timothy summed up the courage to propose to Cynthia at Central Park. She looked into those soft brown eyes of his and simply said yes.
Once the news broke out, it really didn't fly well with some of the family members who came from different backgrounds and standpoints. Although there was tension in the air, The Marcowitzes and The Caplins kept their fueds in check.
The week after graduation, Cynthia and Timothy got married in a small chapel right close to Brooklyn. Now that she was married, Cynthia wondered where she was going from here. Phiby and Nola went on to have a successful careers, performing and acting. Cynthia, however, was stuck in the middle. Will she ever have the chance in the spotlight? Will she ever grace the magic of theater? She decided....it wasn't for her now. She was a happily married woman with a loving, caring husband. She was happy where she was now. In her humble opinon, showbiz wasn't for her.
Timothy wanted to escape the fast-paced city life for a quiet simple life in the suburbs. Cynthia happily obliged, focusing on to becoming a housewife-homemaker while Timothy took a job as an accountant, which didn't comply well with his father but there wasn't any further complaints from him. They settled in Fairfield, New Jeresy, Timothy's hometown. Two years of hardworking and comfort-living, Cynthia was expecting.
At Fairfield Memorial hospital, 5:45am, Ember Flora Caplin was born.
Phibus was there, being the proud godfather....or godmother for the little bundle of joy. Strangely, Nola wasn't there for the event, claiming that her film schedule was in the way. Out of a blink of an eye, Cynthia never heard from her again, only having Phiby as one of her good friends. But again, she was happy where she was now. And found a new friend to hold on to: Her Darling Ember.
Which begins Ember's Journey.....

Another Long Break

Sorry for the long delay. I just been working constantly on my second novel series. And then you know a little rewrite on my early stuff which is a bummer. Although I must say I am my own worst critic. But to prove that I've been busting  my butt writing a give a preview of South California Central, One of my many projects to come. I'll start by giving the story of the woman who gave birth to my finest of main characters, Ember Caplin.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Birthday Girl Part 2

(Please find and Read Part 1)

CUT TO:
EXT. DAY- RAINING
INT. A LONE POOL HALL
Cassie walks to the pool hall, wearing her gray hoodie over her head, dazed with emotion. She comes inside and sits close to the window.
From afar, WADE(17), Katrina's adoptive brother, a tall, lanky boy with curly black hair with strange but defined features, is sitting at a round table smoking with his stoner friends. He notices Cassie sitting alone by the window. He gives off a mean look, feeling confused of why she's there. He walks up to her. Then Wade agressively slams his hand on the table and looks at Cassie, dead in the face.

WADE(threateningly)
What are you doing here?
CASSIE(takes off her hoodie)
Just sitting here. Why?
WADE
Nobody asked you to come here.
Cassie looks at the table where Wade's stoner friends are snickering.
 
CASSIE(defiant)
I can sit anywhere I damn please
WADE
Well, this is my territory. And I rather you leave
CASSIE
This is bogus. Is this about your sister, Wade? Because you're acting really idiotic right now.
WADE
You take my word for it. I have my own reasons of not liking you.
CASSIE
You didn't even really know me.
WADE
Would I need to know your life story?
Cassie grabs Wade's hand.
CASSIE(Threatingly)
Wade....get out of my face
Cassie pushes him away and goes towards the door.
WADE(taunting)
Don't come back here!
CASSIE
Screw you!
Cassie flips her hoodie on and walks deep into the smoky street.
 
INT. DANIELLE'S HOUSE-LIVING ROOM
Danielle is sitting in the dining room, reading a dictionary while her boyfriend, JEFF(18), a handsome, athletic boy with an edge to him, is watching t.v.
DANIELLE(annoyed)
Jeff, would you pay attention
JEFF
Oh....Sorry
DANIELLE
I know you feel nervous about the exams but we really gotta get on point with things
JEFF(coming on to her)
Why are getting all serious?
DANIELLE
It's just that I've been studying a lot this week
JEFF(sauve)
Maybe you should take a break
Jeff kisses Danielle hard, going into a deep, passionate make-out session.
DANIELLE(giggles)
Jeff, stop
The phone rings suddenly. Danielle hastily jumps up and grabs it on the table.
DANIELLE
Hello?
CUT TO:
CASSIE'S HOUSE-BEDROOM
Cassie is laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, her mind racing with thoughts.
CASSIE(softly)
Hey Dani
CUT BACK TO:
DANIELLE'S HOUSE- LIVING ROOM
DANIELLE
Hey Cass, what's up?

CUT TO:

CASSIE'S HOUSE-BEDROOM
Cassie turns over to the bed, letting her emotions sink out.
CASSIE
Everything's okay. I hope I'm not interrupting something.
CUT BACK TO:
DANIELLE'S HOUSE-LIVING ROOM
DANIELLE(sorting out papers)
Oh no, I'm just really busy with studying...Jeff saw what happened at the pool hall.
 
CUT TO:
CASSIE'S HOUSE-BEDROOM
CASSIE
Hey, it's not a big deal. Katrina goes out all her way just to prove she hates me.
 
CUT BACK TO:
DANIELLE
She's just upset that's all. All of this will pass through.
CASSIE(other end)
Well.....I just wanted to hear your voice
DANIELLE
I know you did. I'm always here for you, Cassie. I'll keep in touch.
CUT TO:
CASSIE'S HOUSE- BEDROOM
CASSIE
Yeah okay. Talk to you later.
Cassie hangs up the phone and buries her head under the pillow.
CUT BACK TO:
DANIELLE'S HOUSE-LIVING ROOM
Danielle hangs up the phone, heavily thinking in thought.
JEFF
Is she okay?
DANIELLE
She's just going through a lot, lately. It'll be best if I'll tell you, later.

Jeff softly strokes Danielle's back.
JEFF(comforting)
She's going to be fine
DANIELLE
(sighs) I just don't want this thing to blow out of proportion.

CUT TO:
EXT. RAINING
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE
Wade and one of his stoner friend, JACOB, a stocky boy with long, messy hair, are walking around in a deserted neighborhood, apart from the rest of the town. It is known as a hangout spot for the kids where there are at least six broken-down houses down the road and through the woods, there is a closed-down warehouse. The two boy go towards the 2nd house of the three on the other side. Jacob stuffs a bong in his jacket and looks around as he enter the house.
JACOB
You sure there's no one on the lookout?
WADE
Come on man, this place is rigged. People barely go by this road.
The two boys enter inside, feeling the dusty atmosphere. Wade comfortably plops on the couch and lights up his bong.
WADE
The right kind of place to light my bong
JACOB(holds his nose)
Ugh, this place smells like shit.
WADE
That's the smell of comfort, my friend. (hands Jacob the bong) Wanna hit this?
The camera pans slowly to the left and outside of the house. Down the street, a black hooded figure is walking slowly in the rain. The figure stops and has it's eye on the second on the left row.
 
ABANDONED HOUSE-LIVING ROOM
Wade and Jacob is sitting on the couch, dazed with satisfaction from the armoa they smoked.
JACOB
Dude, where did you get this herb? I'm like blazin'.
WADE(zoned out, eyeing the bong)
The magic ingredients to this is kept secret, my man. (gets up from the couch, stumbles a bit)
I'm gonna go take a piss.
Wade goes off to the bathroom while Jacob sits back, blowing the smoke of his lungs.
Then a dark, looming shadow illuminates in front of Jacob, coming into full attention. Before he can react, the figure brutally slits his throat and rips it out with it's bare hands.
CUT TO:
ABANDONED HOUSE-BATHROOM
Wade checks himself out in the mirror, trying to see the red in his eyes. He turns on the sink and splashes water on his face, wiping the strong effect from the drug. The light blub suddenly flickers. Wade taps on it two times to keep the light steady. He focuses on the mirror and out comes behind....
The hooded figure with a baseball bat
CLOSE UP THE MYSTERIOUS FIGURE'S LIPS
HOODED FIGURE(soft female voice)
Hello, Joe.
Wade turns around and in a flash, the hooded figure whacks his jaw with the metal baseball bat. Wade goes down hard, spitting out blood pieces of his teeth. He looks up, helplessly, his eyes watering with pain. The hooded figure towers over him and pulls off it's hoodie. It is revealed to be....CASSIE! She makes an evil grin.
WADE(slurring)
Please......
CASSIE(condescending)
You're so....weak. You can't even hold your own without your patheic buddies around. Now that was one strike. (kneels down) Let's see if you can take more.
Cassie stands up, aiming her baseball above Wade. His eyes widen with fear.
WADE(muffled)
NOOOO!
Cassie repeatedly strikes him, blood splattered from wall to wall. She drops the baseball bat on the floor and walks off.
CASSIE(non-chantly)
Well, that job's done
Cassie slowly comes out of the house and into the pouring rain, washing the blood off her. She closes her eyes in extacsy. She takes off her jacket and bathes off what's left of the blood.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Movie Review: Freddy Vs. Jason

When I first watched this movie, I....I hated it. I hated it with a passion. I felt like it could've been much better than it was. So a couple of years went by and it suddenly became entertaining. For those of you out there, you have to look at this movie with an open mind. Being a Jason and Freddy fan, I could've expect something more but this is the best they can come up with: A typical teen slasher movie. Unfortunately, I read the earlier scripts and man, were they crappy. I wouldn't blame them for making their final decision, I mean it took years for the producers to make a good Freddy vs. Jason film, however, they still should've gotten better writers, more better developed characters, and more emotional depths on both of the antagonists.
So here's the story: Freddy sets out this plan to put back the fears of the elm street kids since the townspeople have long gone forgotten about him. So he resurrects Jason to be his dragon. Meanwhile, Lori and her friends are having a get together when suddenly one of her friends is murdered. Now, she's beginning to gain fear of freddy coming back which provides him to rise again, only to have Jason in the way, who is a non-stop killing machine. While freddy fights Jason to win the crown of best slasher villian, Lori, her long, lost boyfriend, Will and the rest of the remaining teens try to stop them before Springfield becomes a ghost town.
Monica Kenna did a great perfomance. At first, I thought she was a bit melodramatic, since she worked in a few teen dramas. But overall, she's a good actress. Jason Ritter also did a good job(not to mention pretty handsome), But I can tell he hasn't done a horror movie before just by looking at him. Kelly Rowland was actually good in her first acting debut, but her character was kind of annoying at times. Katherine Isabelle did a great job developing a rather bland, cliche character. chris marquette was adorable as the lovable, picked on nerd. Brandon Flecther gave a rather breif yet intense performance and not too bad on the looks deparment etheir.
The directing is very stylish, having the lighting tone of the two villains branch out their personalities. Jason is blue and melancholy, freddy is red and full of rage. Also blue meaning water and red meaning fire, which are their greatest weaknesses.
The story was good but could've had more plot to go along with the movie to make it much better than it was. Like what if the two main characters were releated to Freddy and Jason or what if the said town was actually a ghost town? The story could've been much more interesting and insightful. Nothing against this movie though, couple of years down the road they'll probably make a  live-action version of the comic book sequel but I doubt it since those pesky remakes are in the way. But just in case, hopefullly they'll make it just so the story could mesh well better. However, pretty entertaing slasher flick.
My last Word: Oh just watch it for the hell of it.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre(2003)

Now I for one can't stand horror movie remakes. Some are ok while some are just awfully bad and contrived. So what started this whole movie remake trend? Whose stupid idea multiply this to a pulp? Well, it all started in 1998. Gus Van Sant decided to remake the 1960 classic Pshyco. It was marketed as this big slasher bloodfest because you know stuff like that was getting popular. When it theaters to an unexpected audience, moviegoers were not pleased and the movie did terribly because it was a shot-for-shot remake which was unnecessary. So there was no more re-doings for a while until in 2003 when New Line Cinema released the much anticipated The Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot. It's a very grim psychological take on the  1974 shockfest. In my opinion, was a smart choice. To be honest, the original just seem like any other slasher film to me. It could be the scariest movie in the world but can it be for today's audiences? I don't think so. Because we've been there, done that. And the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is looked as a typical slasher movie whereas the remake dwells more deeper into the cannibalistic family, marketing as pschyloical horror.
So here's the story: It's 1973, a group of young adults are on their way to a lynard skynard concert. They soon pick up a traumatized, shaken young woman from the off the roadway. She begs and warns them to turn around, when they refuse, the girl in immediate distress, shoots herself, leaving the group in shock and panic. Soon right after, they receive help from the sheriff, who's aggressive, demeaning behavior disturbs them. To make matters worse, while going to a family house, two of the group members are chased by a crazed maniac with a chainsaw. Erin is the only who breaks free from the attack while one of her friends is wounded and captured. It is only up to her to save her friends from the bloodied clutches of the crazed maniac known as leatherface and his cannibalistic Klan.
Jessica Biel blew me away, putting so much depth into her character, making her one of the most memorable final girls in horror films. Just like Eliza Dushku, her middle name shall be badass. She is truly the star of this movie. Jonathan Tucker was so adorable as the funny, dorky guy. It's a shame seeing him killed in such a brutal way. Erica Leershen is good in one of her breakout roles. Mike Vogel sure does have a body on him. All wet and sweaty. And that hair! those golden blond locks swishing. Oh yeah, his acting. Well, this was one of Mike Vogel's first feature films after his male modeling gig and I was pretty distracted by his good looks. But otherwise, he was good in this. Eric Balfour was actually good in his brief scenes too, before getting whacked, not to mention a total hottie.
The directing is very creative, making the lightings dark and moody which matched the tone of the film. The scenes were suspenseful, believe me or not. Intense and hair-raising to default. What was really smart, they kept the plot in the 70's, putting realism into the mix.
Just to let you know, this is Inspired by a true not based. It was just a marketing ploy to hype up the audience. Overall, this was one of the best horror remakes of the decade. But to add insult to injury, this movie was the reason why we have so many shitty remakes, so there is always an agree to disagree.
My Last Word: A total must see!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

Hunk Of The Day: Micheal Fassbender

Our hunk of the day is the rising star of Inglourious Bastards, Fish Tank, Jane Eyre and Shame. He also plays one hot superhero. He is the ever so handsome....

Micheal Fassbender. Would you look at those eyes.....Mesmerizing! Wait, I would love to show you more....


Look at those pearly whites!


Dark and mysteriousss....


Boy Howdy! look at those biceps!

Let's see him shirtless shall we?













Money Shot!

So there you have it. A sexy, gorgeous hunk we would love to see more of. And just to let you know, those german eyes always get the mark.


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Movie Review: Wrong Turn

Woah boy! This was definitely the movie to kick start the old school slasher genre. People were pretty smart about the marketing. You know in some movie trailer where they give out the shit right away, well in this one they don't exactly reveal the killers, it's only left to what you're guessing. Which is pretty cool, and that's what makes the movie scarier than it is.
So here's the story: A med school graduate is on his way to an interview, traveling way up to the smoky mountains of West Virginia. All of sudden, he crashes his car, colliding with a group of campers. Trapped in the middle of the wilderness, they try to find their way out only to come across some hungry hillbilly cannibals.
Eliza 'Badass' Dushku. That, is her new name. Boy, did she turn on the action as our honorary final girl. She was a tour de force. Desmond Harrington, gorgeous or what. Those intense blue eyes is his best acting features. *sigh* Jeremy Sisto. That curly hair. That handsome face. And he's such a sweet guy in this movie, so sad to see he didn't quite make it. And then there's his girlfriend with the annoying squeaky voice. Ugh. Good thing she got an axe right through her mouth. Oh but her actress was good by the way. Lindy Booth and Kevin Zegers we hardly knew ye.
Now let's get to the suspense scenes. Boy howdy, were they scary. But the one scene that was really hair-raizing was the escape scene, which is truly the most suspenseful ever. And the group watching their friend get eaten. Total frightfest there.
The story worked well like any slasher story. A group of friends get trapped in the woods but having two story arcs in the mix is second best.
Wow. Just wow. It's certainly a horror movie to watch. Great chase scenes, lots of gore, not so much character development but who cares, that's what old school slashers are made for.
My last word: A slasher funfest

Movie Review: Jeeper Creepers 2

To my knowledge this movie didn't deserve a sequel. But I'm not saying this is terrible. It's actually good and captures the suspense of the first film. But having a movie with this many characters and actually have the real main characters show up at the end is.....a problem. the pacing can be a bit slow sometimes and being trapped in a bus can be a vaulable time waster.
So here's the story: while going on a bus trip, a high school basketball team and it's cheerleaders get trapped in the middle of nowhere while the unforseen creature hungers for blood. Meanwhile a grieving father plans his revenge on the creature who killed his son. The kids must fight for survival just when the farmer take charge on his supernatural rival.
There was just so many characters I just can't catch up with who. I don't even know who the main characters are. There's two arcs in one story and it's hard to seperate the two. But otherwise, the acting is good.
Having two arcs in one story can be a bit of problem, however, it blended in well with the pacing and suspense scenes in tow.
As you know in sequels, they pretty much hyped up the action and body count. Which is kind of fun and at the edge of your seat.
So there you have it, a fun scary sequel that's pretty watchable.
My last word: An immense thrill ride.


Movie Review: Jeeper Creepers

Finally! A horror film that know it's horror! Suspenseful chase scenes, Cringe-worthy death scenes, and moments that will jump you right out of your seat. Back in the scream generation hey days of the late 90's, filmmakers wanted to make something different for their teenage audience. A homicidal maniac killing random kids was getting kind of old. So they decided to push more on the supernatural side of things with films like disturbing behavior, the falcalty, The rage: carrie 2 etc. None of those were successful until 2001when director Victor Salva released Jeepers Creepers which brought back old school horror in a new light.
So here's the story: Siblings Trish and Darry decide to travel cross country on spring break. Little do they know a unknown maniac with a monster truck is terrorizing them. All through the day and all  through the night, the brother and sister duo try their best to fight off this psycho who is....not quite human...
Gina Phillips was fantastic. Playing a final girl who is strong, smart, and resourceful to the craziness around her. She handled it perfectly well. *sigh* Justin Long. Not only is he cute, he really did struck my heart with his realistic protrayal. Cute and funny Justin Long. It's a shame he didn't live in the end. The character of Jezel was actually a deconstructed version of the crazy eledery person in these movies. She admits it's not easy dealing with visions involving monsters killing and eating people. That's what makes the character so real. then we have a cameo by Ellen Bernnan. And just like any well-known actor transtioning to horror films, she hams it up in hams town.
The story worked wonderfully with the pacing and scenes. By golly were they suspenseful! The creeper was defintely creepy and the gore and effects worked perfectly.
A great horror film that brings back the old school feel to shock a new generation of audiences.
My last word: A definite must see!


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Movie Review: Seed Of Chucky

This movie was a hoot! I had never laughed so hard at how bad this movie is. But for some strange reason I had fun watching this. Don't get me wrong, this movie is totally shitty but it's one those bad movies you can watch on a rainy day.
So here's the story: Little baby Chucky is all grown up and is now living in london with an abusive ventriloquist. He sees his biological parents on t.v. and decides to escape from the viscious ventriloquist and travels to los angeles where Chucky and Tiffany are shooting a movie which so happens to star Jennifer Tilly, Tiffany's favorite actress. Oh yes, let's get to Jennifer Tilly, an actress so desprate to stay thin, so desprate to be on screen again, she attempts to sleep with Redman, who is making this soon-to-be fiasco. Meanwhile, Chucky's offspring, so excited he have found his parents, revives them in a vodoo ritual. He soon reveals himself to them, to Chucky's shock. Since he really doesn't have a name, Chucky decides to name him Glen while Tiffany perfers Glenda. Together, Tiffany and Chucky tries to show Glen or Glenda the ropes of killing, who is pretty much repressed about it. All the while Jennifer is trying to revive her career in the midst of murders happening around Tinsletown.
Ugh! where to begin. Poor Jennifer Tilly. She just can't catch a break. All I see her in is these awfully cheesy movies and this one pretty much takes the cake. A once promising actress with an oscar nommination is now stuck doing relentlessly bad movies. She would be a great comedian though. Can Redman even act? i just don't get it. How High wasn't that great and he had a failed tv show. This movie seems to be the end of his acting career. Hannah Spirit from SClub7 was actually good in this. Too bad she gets to be in this horrid movie and was one of the more decent characters that was brutally murdered for no good reason.
The story and execution could've been better than it was. And there had to be some reason to show Jennifer Tilly's face in this movie as Jennifer Tilly. She could've been better off in a cameo. This seems to be the nail in the coffin for her career. And when an oscar-winning actress decides to play in an down and out slasher film, especially as herself, she positively won't be taken seriously in hollywood until one or two good movies would save her from being laughed at. I like Jennifer Tilly, don't get me wrong, she just needs to try more different things. Being a scream queen is fun and all but going on different ventures could make her a more versatile actress.
Just like the last one, the deaths are more gory and elaborate. Oh wait! was that John Waters? Oh too bad his face was half gone. And what was with the Britney Spears death scene. Totally unnecessary.
There's just nothing I can say about this. It's a bad film that should've gotten less hollywood cameos. But you can sit and watch with friends to have a good laugh at it.
My Last Word: Watchable, but don't hold your breath.


Movie Review: Bride Of Chucky

Yet another 90's cult favorite. This is the more campier of the five films but not as campy as the fifth one, now that was campy on cheese levels. this has bad acting, annoying characters, and bad writing. Yet this is one of the most entertaining movie of the scream generation. Not mention funny as well.
So here's the story: Chucky's long lost girlfriend, Tiffany, is determined to get him back by transferring his soul into his original doll body. Stitched up, rejuvenized, and crazed, Chucky is back for some killing but not without tagging along his bride to be. After having a huge falling out with Tiffany, Chucky kills her and transfer her soul to a female doll of Chucky's replica. Now a badass blond with her own kind of look, Tiffany joins Chucky for a bloodfest and holding hostage newlywed couple Nick and Jess to steal their souls and make it into their own.....
Now you know what I said about the acting. Jennifer Tilly pretty much ham this up. Coming from an oscar-nomminated actress, she's bound to go over the top. Katherine Heigl as good as an actress she is, could've done a better job. Or maybe it was her bland character that just wasn't working for her? Nick Stable. I don't know who Nick Stable is but his character was pretty flat as well but whew is hot or what? Is that Alexis Arquette? this was way back before her glamour days. She should really try goth again, she would look totally fierce. Brad Dourif is memorable as always as Chucky.
The deaths are more elaborate and the blood is much thicker in this sequel. It does have it's funny moments which makes the movie shine. So this is why the producers decided to make Seed Of Chucky a horror-comedy rather than straight up horror. Which brings me the ending that scared the shit out of me when I was eight years old.
What I like about this is it has that 90's B-movie feel with lots of high action in it. And just like any silly 90's horror film, it doesn't take itself too seriously....at all.
Some Chucky fans are a bit mixed with this. Some think this is pretty shitty while some thinks this is the best entry. I never really cared for the Child's Play movie but this I quite frankly enjoyed.
My Last Word: Good o'l stupid fun.


Movie Review: Doppelganger

This has got to be one of the most cheesiest movies of the 90's. it's a shame that Drew Barrymore was put in this crap. But any struggling former child star have to make due before going on to big and better things. And boy did Drew Barrymore had to make due.
So here's the story: A paranoid debutante is running from her ghostly self while staying with her live-in lover. And that's all. Sorry folks.
God, the acting is bad but not awfully terrible to my relief. Drew Barrymore is a great actress, one of my favorites. But she's just wasted in this. All she gets to do is act all scared and sexy while wearing really bad hair extensions. I don't know who the other actor is but he's cute though. Oh my god, Leslie Hope was so annoying. Her character just won't shut the fuck up. it would be great if she was one of the victims. However...she wasn't. Can you believe Dennis Christopher of Breaking Away was in this movie? And just like any other actor in oscar-winning film, he hams it up like it's no tommorrow.
The special effects was cool...but that's the only highlight of this movie and nothing else.
A forgettable piece of crap that shouldn't be remembered.
My last word: Please. You have so much precious time to save. So much precious time.