About Me

My photo
Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Movie Review: Jeeper Creepers

Finally! A horror film that know it's horror! Suspenseful chase scenes, Cringe-worthy death scenes, and moments that will jump you right out of your seat. Back in the scream generation hey days of the late 90's, filmmakers wanted to make something different for their teenage audience. A homicidal maniac killing random kids was getting kind of old. So they decided to push more on the supernatural side of things with films like disturbing behavior, the falcalty, The rage: carrie 2 etc. None of those were successful until 2001when director Victor Salva released Jeepers Creepers which brought back old school horror in a new light.
So here's the story: Siblings Trish and Darry decide to travel cross country on spring break. Little do they know a unknown maniac with a monster truck is terrorizing them. All through the day and all  through the night, the brother and sister duo try their best to fight off this psycho who is....not quite human...
Gina Phillips was fantastic. Playing a final girl who is strong, smart, and resourceful to the craziness around her. She handled it perfectly well. *sigh* Justin Long. Not only is he cute, he really did struck my heart with his realistic protrayal. Cute and funny Justin Long. It's a shame he didn't live in the end. The character of Jezel was actually a deconstructed version of the crazy eledery person in these movies. She admits it's not easy dealing with visions involving monsters killing and eating people. That's what makes the character so real. then we have a cameo by Ellen Bernnan. And just like any well-known actor transtioning to horror films, she hams it up in hams town.
The story worked wonderfully with the pacing and scenes. By golly were they suspenseful! The creeper was defintely creepy and the gore and effects worked perfectly.
A great horror film that brings back the old school feel to shock a new generation of audiences.
My last word: A definite must see!


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Movie Review: Seed Of Chucky

This movie was a hoot! I had never laughed so hard at how bad this movie is. But for some strange reason I had fun watching this. Don't get me wrong, this movie is totally shitty but it's one those bad movies you can watch on a rainy day.
So here's the story: Little baby Chucky is all grown up and is now living in london with an abusive ventriloquist. He sees his biological parents on t.v. and decides to escape from the viscious ventriloquist and travels to los angeles where Chucky and Tiffany are shooting a movie which so happens to star Jennifer Tilly, Tiffany's favorite actress. Oh yes, let's get to Jennifer Tilly, an actress so desprate to stay thin, so desprate to be on screen again, she attempts to sleep with Redman, who is making this soon-to-be fiasco. Meanwhile, Chucky's offspring, so excited he have found his parents, revives them in a vodoo ritual. He soon reveals himself to them, to Chucky's shock. Since he really doesn't have a name, Chucky decides to name him Glen while Tiffany perfers Glenda. Together, Tiffany and Chucky tries to show Glen or Glenda the ropes of killing, who is pretty much repressed about it. All the while Jennifer is trying to revive her career in the midst of murders happening around Tinsletown.
Ugh! where to begin. Poor Jennifer Tilly. She just can't catch a break. All I see her in is these awfully cheesy movies and this one pretty much takes the cake. A once promising actress with an oscar nommination is now stuck doing relentlessly bad movies. She would be a great comedian though. Can Redman even act? i just don't get it. How High wasn't that great and he had a failed tv show. This movie seems to be the end of his acting career. Hannah Spirit from SClub7 was actually good in this. Too bad she gets to be in this horrid movie and was one of the more decent characters that was brutally murdered for no good reason.
The story and execution could've been better than it was. And there had to be some reason to show Jennifer Tilly's face in this movie as Jennifer Tilly. She could've been better off in a cameo. This seems to be the nail in the coffin for her career. And when an oscar-winning actress decides to play in an down and out slasher film, especially as herself, she positively won't be taken seriously in hollywood until one or two good movies would save her from being laughed at. I like Jennifer Tilly, don't get me wrong, she just needs to try more different things. Being a scream queen is fun and all but going on different ventures could make her a more versatile actress.
Just like the last one, the deaths are more gory and elaborate. Oh wait! was that John Waters? Oh too bad his face was half gone. And what was with the Britney Spears death scene. Totally unnecessary.
There's just nothing I can say about this. It's a bad film that should've gotten less hollywood cameos. But you can sit and watch with friends to have a good laugh at it.
My Last Word: Watchable, but don't hold your breath.


Movie Review: Bride Of Chucky

Yet another 90's cult favorite. This is the more campier of the five films but not as campy as the fifth one, now that was campy on cheese levels. this has bad acting, annoying characters, and bad writing. Yet this is one of the most entertaining movie of the scream generation. Not mention funny as well.
So here's the story: Chucky's long lost girlfriend, Tiffany, is determined to get him back by transferring his soul into his original doll body. Stitched up, rejuvenized, and crazed, Chucky is back for some killing but not without tagging along his bride to be. After having a huge falling out with Tiffany, Chucky kills her and transfer her soul to a female doll of Chucky's replica. Now a badass blond with her own kind of look, Tiffany joins Chucky for a bloodfest and holding hostage newlywed couple Nick and Jess to steal their souls and make it into their own.....
Now you know what I said about the acting. Jennifer Tilly pretty much ham this up. Coming from an oscar-nomminated actress, she's bound to go over the top. Katherine Heigl as good as an actress she is, could've done a better job. Or maybe it was her bland character that just wasn't working for her? Nick Stable. I don't know who Nick Stable is but his character was pretty flat as well but whew is hot or what? Is that Alexis Arquette? this was way back before her glamour days. She should really try goth again, she would look totally fierce. Brad Dourif is memorable as always as Chucky.
The deaths are more elaborate and the blood is much thicker in this sequel. It does have it's funny moments which makes the movie shine. So this is why the producers decided to make Seed Of Chucky a horror-comedy rather than straight up horror. Which brings me the ending that scared the shit out of me when I was eight years old.
What I like about this is it has that 90's B-movie feel with lots of high action in it. And just like any silly 90's horror film, it doesn't take itself too seriously....at all.
Some Chucky fans are a bit mixed with this. Some think this is pretty shitty while some thinks this is the best entry. I never really cared for the Child's Play movie but this I quite frankly enjoyed.
My Last Word: Good o'l stupid fun.


Movie Review: Doppelganger

This has got to be one of the most cheesiest movies of the 90's. it's a shame that Drew Barrymore was put in this crap. But any struggling former child star have to make due before going on to big and better things. And boy did Drew Barrymore had to make due.
So here's the story: A paranoid debutante is running from her ghostly self while staying with her live-in lover. And that's all. Sorry folks.
God, the acting is bad but not awfully terrible to my relief. Drew Barrymore is a great actress, one of my favorites. But she's just wasted in this. All she gets to do is act all scared and sexy while wearing really bad hair extensions. I don't know who the other actor is but he's cute though. Oh my god, Leslie Hope was so annoying. Her character just won't shut the fuck up. it would be great if she was one of the victims. However...she wasn't. Can you believe Dennis Christopher of Breaking Away was in this movie? And just like any other actor in oscar-winning film, he hams it up like it's no tommorrow.
The special effects was cool...but that's the only highlight of this movie and nothing else.
A forgettable piece of crap that shouldn't be remembered.
My last word: Please. You have so much precious time to save. So much precious time.


Monday, February 6, 2012

Movie Review: I still know what you did last summer

This was pretty fun to watch. It dosen't take itself too seriously and shouldn't. It's just a fun, silly 90's slasher flick. And it's actually a childhood favorite of mine when I was 11.
So here's the story: It begins with Julie getting over the trumatic events of the first film, feeling as if she's being stalked by the not-so-dead killer. When her friend and roomate Karla wins a trip to the Bahamas, she cordially obliges seeing it as a stress reliver, along with Karla's boyfriend Ty and Julie's new friend, Will. Once they arrive there, strange things starts occuring right off the bat. Then as you guessed, the body count starts rolling in and Julie and her friends have to fight for survival. It's only up to Ray to save her from the killer's hook once again.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is fierce as ever playing a woman who's been through hell and back. being smart, resourceful, and aware as she was in the first film. Freddie Prinze Jr. was good. Too bad we don't get to see much of his handsome face. The movie marketed as if he was part of the cast but he has very little scenes and he dosen't get to be part of the action until the end. Now I'm not saying brandy is a great actress or anything, However, she was pretty good in this. She made her character fun, relatable, and also sassy. Which is why she lived till the end. Mehki Phifer was good and very easy to look at. You seen the body on him? I cannot believe Jack Black of all people was in a slasher film. At first, I thought he was some silly white guy with dreadlocks but at first glance it's Jack Black pulling off his early comedic chops. And just like in these movies, The funny guy gets it worst as the jerk does. His death is indeed brutal. And then we have Matthew Steele....Hot goregeous Matthew Steele. Those eyes. That body! *sigh*  He plays the cute, nerdy guy which makes him even more iriestable. What a dreamboat. But to my shock this dreamboat turns out to be the killer! Or at least one of the killers(his father is his partner in crime.) Which brings me that burning question: Why do the hottest guys in horror films go crazy?
Just like any other slasher film sequel, this one is much bloodier and gorier with high body although it consist of random people getting killed. There are actually some suspenseful scenes here. The tanning booth scene actually gave me the chills. The story would've sound ridiculous for some but really drives the action foward to the story and goes along with the pacing.
It's not perfect. It does have it's problems but otherwise a good popcorn flick that's not for everyone however can go along with a group of friends to pass time.
My last word: Although cheesy at best, it's defintely a 90's cult favorite.


Saturday, February 4, 2012

Same Movie, Different Plot: Return To Oz and Labyrinth

Just to point this out, there are vast similarities to the 1985 movie Return to Oz and the year after that, 1986 Labyrinth.
You have your pale-skinned brunette heroines with active imaginations, a manipulate king, and a trio of odd compainons, including a talking animal.
Here are the examples:
The actresses profoundly look-a-like. They could almost pass as sisters. Also to mention they both have wide green eyes.




The main villian is awfully charming being the perfect gentlmen with blase debnair.




The Magical world is connected to the real with a mirror













A girl can't live without her traveling compainions





And There's always a chance she'll reunite with them in a grand finale party






So there you have it, two underatted gems with slight comparisons to look out for.

P.S. Can you  believe Dorothy grows up to be Nancy?





Monday, January 30, 2012

Movie Review: Sorority Row(2009)

Yet another movie remake involving spoiled, vapid college bitches. Unlike my last review, i actually quite enjoyed this. The characters maybe repulsive to watch at times, but the main actors were really good, including the main alpha bitch. Etheir you love her or you hate her, she was definitely revieting, kind of like the Blair Waldorf of slasher movies. The story matched well with the pacing, mixing the "I know what you did last summer" feel with the "Scream" Who-done-it feel together.
So here's the story: Sorority Sisters decide to pull a prank one of the girls' cheating boyfriend by faking her death. Then, while on distant road, the prank turns deadly when the boyfriend accidently kills her a tire iron. In a heap of panic, the girls quickly dispose of the body deep down in a deserted ditch. Eight months later, when one of their sorority members are murdered, the girls must make a run for their lives as a vengful killer picks them off one by one.
The acting is quite good. The strongest performers are Brianna Evigan, Leah Pipes, and Rumer Willis. Especially Leah Pipes who stoled the show as the take-no-charge rich bitch. The girl almost had me convinced with her vicisous performance. Brianna Evigan, who is a great underrated actress, gives a subtle but strong and not to mention badass, performance as our final girl. The performance that really struck me was Rumer Willis' role as the sweet, shy girl. She was so sympatheic, that it was good to see her live throught the end. Honestly, these three actresses are the true stars of this movie. I would like to point out special cameos. There's Carrie Fisher who is hillarious as the shotgun-toting, foul-mouth, kickass house mother. Then there's Audrina Partridge, who's character was so short-lived, I didn't get to judge how well her acting was. To be honest, she's in the same leauge as her Hills co-star, Kristen Cavallari, who makes out of her acting career in straight-to-DVD movies. Tough luck but it's the truth. Now....The moment you have been waitng for, The boys of Sorority Row: Julian Morris, the sexy, british hunk who had a killing-thrilling time in this role. Also there's another hunk in this murderous duo, our upcoming hunk of the day, Matt Lanter. Those eyes of his are mesmerizing. Which would bring the question: Why do the hottest men go crazy? Let's not forget Matt Leary, who was a tad crazy but still adorable as Megan's Boyfriend. Really didn't get to see much of his character but he was good so far.
There were some hits and misses in some scenes. Like a random girl getting killed in the shower. Ok, people we've seen that in too many horror films already. The deaths scenes could've been more effective. But what I couldn't help was how I compared this to Black Christmas. You have a bitchy female cast, a hoot of a house mother, a boozy sorority sister, two deranged killers and a slightly campy feel. But this was way much better than Black Christmas, which was very obscure. This movie has much better character development, more inventive kills, and more strong, resilent female leads. The story was good, the acting was great, and the pacing rolled pretty well. It isn't the greatest movie ever, but it's sure damn entertaing.
My Last Word: A fairly entertaining watch.