About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Movie Review: Hostel Part 2

I really have nothing against this movie, although it's themes are somewhat misogynistic and it does feel like a rehash of the first movie but with a little more story to it this time. This was right around the time where torture porn was losing it's way and people really didn't give a shit anymore. With all the countless Saw films and the poor reception of  the movie Captivity, the genre was already dead in it's tracks. So Eli Roth gave one more try with this sequel.
Now on with the story: It's about three girls who decide to take a break from art school studies in Paruge. They meet up with a beautiful model who persuade them to go to a hostel in svehlova for some R+R, little do they know, they are set up to be torture dolls for two business men who won a bet on them. Can they escape before it's too late?
The story is much more better than the original. Sue me for saying that but it is. We get deep into the story, learning about the evil corparation and their motives in which the first film got more into the mystery of it.
The acting has more stronger performances and more sympatheic characters. Lauren German as Beth....Two words: BADASS! I was completely surprised by her performance. She is the sole reason this movie was decent. For now, she is one of my top final girls. Heather Marazzo as Lorna, just broke my heart when she died horribly. It's just so heart-wrenching to see a sweet girl like Lorna died the way she did. Just like Eli Roth did with adorable Josh, he did the same to poor Lorna. Plus, I don't see why Heather Marazzo gets typecasted as the geek. She's a beautiful girl and should get more spicer roles. Bijou Phillips as Whitney on the other hand, is a firecracker. Yeah, Whitney can be a little bitchy and little flightly, but that makes her all the more loveable. I cringed too when she got tortured. Not really tortured but she did got half of her brain cut off. Which is pretty much the most grossiest, goreist, bloodiest thing i seen from the film. How she died was even more frightening, just by not showing how she died, made it more scarier. What's even more scarier was Roger Bart. Yeah, Richard Burgi always was cast in these asshole roles but that's what he's good at. the twist is, his character is just an asshole, not a killer. Let's get down to the real kick here. Roger Bart as Stuart was a truly believeable performance. We really get deep into his pysche and see why the way he is. Of course, he starts out as a nice guy but ultimately we see his true colors at the end. Which is pretty damn scary.
The film is much more bloodier and goreier than the first, mixed in with the intense suspenseful scenes, it kind of keeps your heart pumping. What's really different about this is that the main characters are decent this time and much more....level-headed than the male leads in the first hostel. I just can't help but care and sympathize more with the female leads because you know what....GIRLS FUCKING RULE! you can ask Beth for that. She got more balls than puny old Paxton ever had!
Although the torture porn genre died along with this movie, it's pretty decent if you look at a different way but just like I said with the first one it could settle down for just an ok.
My Last word: Watch this movie for Beth and Beth only. The girl totally knows how to work a garden shear.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Movie Review: Hostel

To be honest, This wasn't one of my favorite films. I'm not really a big fan of torture porn as it takes off the anticipation of the suspense of what's to come. The pacing is all wrong, the story doesn't get anywhere and the characters you start to wear off on you, although it's a bit cringe-worthy to experience their pain. Hostel is quite different. The story is interesting and keeps the movie going yet the pacing is still quite slow as we focus on the "needed" character development. And the part about where you care about the characters you grow to love? Well, sadly the case is not here. I do of course care for one of them only for that person to die brutally the first go around. Obviously the biggest douchebag is the main character who supposed to fill the hero role. I'll get to all that later.
Here's the story:  A trio of friends decided to go to a hostel for some R+R, unbeknowst to them they are set up by sadistic company who pays people to torture them.
That was kind of a short but simple story right? It dosen't really get into the action until second half of the movie although it adds some creppy moments up to that point. Most of the atmosphere and shots of the film is pretty engaging, if only the story would've strecthed out more and had...let's say more sympatheic characters than it should have. But I think that was the point. For people to actually enjoy these sleazy characters to be tortured or killed in some horrific way. It's the standard horror movie trifecta: The Jerk Gets It. But here's where they break the rules a bit, the biggest jerk gets to live. Again, how interesting.
The acting is pretty good. Jay Hernandez was superb. Yeah, his character is kind of douchey but you really get to emphatize his fear of what's happening to him and around him, which makes his character a little sympathetic by his intense performance. Speaking of sympathetic, my heart went out to Derek Richardson. His death was by far the most scariest yet saddest. Josh was actually the more nicer of the two guys and he wasn't even much of a horndog either because he was trying to get over a breakup. But sadly, we the audience get to see how brutally he dies in which it wasn't kind of fair. But hey it's what the filmmakers make right?
The supense scenes were downright scary and tense, which will have you at the edge of your seat a little bit. I'm not saying the movie is scary, it's not. It just does a good job at rising up the boiling point. To add something else, if you're expecting a gore-fest you'll be a dissappointed. There is little gore in the movie. Yeah, there are gross stuff but don't expect any more.
Like I said, I'm not a big fan of torture porn. Now-a-days it has wear off over it's head with the pointless Saw franchise and other copy-cats. But this film focuses on the story if you look beyond the characters and how it reaches to it's point of no return. It isn't really my kind of film. Maybe guy's movie since it has it's fair share of nudity and blood(a little if you count that.) Other than that, it's now forgettable as it's not much of a buzz anymore.
My last word: It has a good story, but not something to remember by.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Ivy's Top Ten Badass Vampires

Now to present to you Ivy's Top Ten Badass Vampires. This list contains one of the most powerful, most deadly, and certainly the most stylish vampires in the biz. Here is the honorary list:

1. Akusha-Queen of The Damned
This egyptian goddess is known to be the ruthless leader of the vampire clan. No one dares to cross her path, not even the ones who are deemed as sinster. She tops this list because she knows the true game of vampirism since the dawn of time. So for all you vampys out there, this is truly the queen of them all...


2. Selene- Underworld
This Vamp not only has a thrist for blood but a thirst for guns too. Cross between two worlds: One from her notable clan and Two from the man she loves, She fights to have united equal by kicking some major ass. If people think vampires don't have souls, then how come this blood-seeking vixen is fighting for love?


3. Rayne- Cunning, Sultry and downright Deadly. Yes, deadly is her middle name. This firey redhead may have an undying thrist for blood but that dosen't stop her from becoming a defiant heroine. When it comes down to it, you don't wanna mess with this femme fatale. She got the moves AND fangs to prove it.

4. Sophie-Anne-True Blood
This fun-loving daughter of the night is possibly the most glamourous and high class vampire. What ultimately turns her sexual appatite is when two guys get it on. Honestly Miss Queen Sophie-Anne I don't blame you. Sexy, seductive and down for a good party, This vampy southern bell knows how to have a good time....Also on the list

Pam-True Blood
Yet another fiesty southern belle, although she dosen't care too much for partying as she is into the
vengeful-violent side of things. She maybe downright serious at times but she can fill in a few jokes or two. Because she's cool like that. But don't piss Pam off, this Bisexual bloodsucker can turn from lipstick to butch in a second if you can keep your head on straight.

5.Lilith-30 Days of Night: Dark Days
Even though 30 Days of Night: Dark Days was a somewhat mediocre movie with questionable production values, the best thing about it was this cold-blooded demoness of the night. Leader of her vampire clan she knows how to come at her prey at the right moment. be careful not to walk the streets of L.A at night, you might be her next meal ticket.


6. The Brides Of Dracula-Van Helsing
Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. A notable female trio with their brand of hair colors. But this trio is a lot more sinster per say with their noticable thirst for certain blood types....and their husband Dracula. They seem to copy the same M.O. and seductive manner as their husband's. The dutiful wives that they're are they hunt for their prey. their specialty are mostly men. So guys if you fall for these ladies' sensual looks, get a load of their true form.....

Vicisous!


7. Eli-Let The Right One In
She maybe an innocent little girl with wide gentle eyes but if you mess with her friend Oskar, you mess with her, which will end in bloody results. She's fast, she's frightening, and she'll tear you from limb to limb in a second. If you think she's a defensless little girl, you gotta another thing coming.


8. Moka Akashiya-Rosario+Vampire
She may be the vamp of the night(or day, it depends) But she is actually the most sweetest, kind-hearted vampires there is. Some Vampires are moody, melaclohinc, or just have no soul. Not this girl though, who is just your normal, cheerful, neighborhood-friendly vampire. You can tell from her rose-colored hair that she is as sweet as a rose could come.

9. Mina Tepes-Dance In The Vampire Bund

Mina acts like most natural vampires: Cocky, Agressive, and Naughty. But all of that is a facade. In Actuality, She's vunerable and lonely. She is the current ruler of the vampire world, which makes her life as ruler very depressing until she meets Akira, who helps her love again as a human being. It just shows that deep down in that cold vampire heart it's still beating inside. Mina is truly one of the sympatheic vampires. Speaking of sympatheic.....


10. Rosalie Hale- The Twilight Saga

At first she appears as a stoic yet enchanting ice queen but deep down she has had a dark and troubled past that she had overcome with such defiance and resilance, you can't help but root for her. She hides her vunerability by protesting a strong personality. High above that, she is caring, strong-willed, and the most captavating on the list. Cheers to you, Rosalie.

There you have it, The Top Ten Most Vampist Women On The Block. I hope you enjoyed the list as much as I do. You can't get more badass as a vampire can.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Movie Review: Urban Legend

This was actually an interesting take on the "scream craze" that generated during the late 90's. After the success of I Know What You Did Last Summer, There have been many tired copycats along the way, with the exception of this one, though. Urban Legend is not just your regular by-the-book slasher. You may think yeah it's just another teen horror film but with a intelligent idea of having the murders be based on Urban Legends. I mean that is the name of the title right?
So Here's the story: Natalie Simon is shaken by her former high school friend Michelle's sudden death, who was found decapitated inside of her SUV, according to news reports. Most of her college friend's lastest topics are about frequent urban legends in which they study in their history major. All the while Paul Gardner, the school's journalist is investigating the Stanely Hall massacre that happened 25 years ago. Not long before the death of Michelle, a series of mysterious murders begin to haunt Natalie all around her. But there not just any killings, These murders happen to be based on urban legends. So Natalie and Paul tries to figure out who's behind the murders before being written down on his(or hers) death list.
The acting is superb. Alicia Witt is a very smart and capable actress, which is a divine character trait. She is clearly the strongest actress in the movie. Jared Leto as Paul was good as always. Not only is he a great actor, he has the most dreamiest blue eyes, you couldn't help but root for him at the end. What really surprised me is Rebecca Grayhart. She has got to be one of the most charamastic pyschotic killers since Freddy Kruger(By the way, Robert Englund does have a cameo in the film). Not only that, but she has the most intense crazy eyes and has such raw emotion that her performance is almost believable. You could say it's a little over-the-top crazy but at least it's entertaining to watch. As for the rest of the cast, I really didn't care for Tara Reid. But she does seem comfortable being cast as the disposable blond bimbo.  Micheal Rosenbaum did okay playing the party animal jerk, it's just that his character was kind of wasted just like Tara Reid's.
The suspense scenes is pretty cringe-worthy, especially placed with the atmosphere of the movie with the creppy vibe in tow.
I know I should gave a more lengthy description of the plot but I'm kind of discreet about writing them just becuase it's has a lot of story in it. That gives bonus points for making it into a inventive slasher. The sole reason of me watching slasher films(or certain slasher films) is that it gots to have a story to follow with. Although the movie is sort of tame on the killings, it has a great story to keep the action going and the who-done-it mystery in focus.
My last word: It's an interesting take on the slasher genre with great performances from the leads. I'm not saying it's a classic but it's an entertaining film otherwise.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hunk Of The Day: Ryan Reynolds

Now I present to you, the hunkest of the four Ryans. He has recently got out of a divorce from a known hollywood beauty and makes the most tantilizing superhero yet. And not to mention funny. A Funny, sexy guy is always a great package.....he is the one and only......

Ryan Reynolds. He is the most delicious canadian you see on the block. With those chocolate brown eyes, that lovely hair and those rock hard abs too hot to touch......*sigh* heaven......let me proceed......


BAM! It's also in black and white which makes the image mysterious and sexy.....there's more where that came from.....



He's amazing.....I got them all posted after this....


He has very divine features to those biceps to that unforgettable body......


This makes me wanna buy any magazine cover he's been in....especially this down here.....


Wet and wild! Whew!

I hope you enjoyed that fine slideshow and hopefully I would love to see more of his hot body in the furture. And have I mentioned that he's single? Ladies get your chance cause he's off the market!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Hunk Of The Day: Ryan Phillipee

Oh Boy, You were just waiting for this hunk to be on this list. and now he is. He is the ex-husband of one of my favorite actresses. And he's also one hot DILF. He is none-other-than......

Ryan Phillipee. I just have to say to Amanda Seyfried, Why did you let this one go? I mean he has a hot body, the cutest blue eyes I ever seen, and those lips. You can't turn down those luscious lips of his. Let me showcase.

Merry Christmas to me!

A man always have to look good in a suit. You wanna see the hot shirtless pics? Okay, here it goes.....


Gotta admire the abs.


The Black and White Photo just make him more sexier.....but just wait to see these goodies......


Shirtless guys with cowboy hats...that is all...*sigh*

It's always hot when a guy have a nice walk on the beach....shirtlessss!


100% precent man candy! I would love to show you the close up!

Oh yeah, that's right!


So I'm gonna say Good Luck to Reese Witherspoon, Abbie Cornish And especially Amanda Seyfried. Cause This Hunk right here is one fine piece of ass!

Hunk Of the day: Ryan Kwaten

Hello my little readers, I am presenting you yet another addition to our Hunk Of The Day Special: The Four Ryans. This fine peice of speciman is from the down under and you might know him from a particular show that involve vampires. This handsome australian is........

Ryan Kwaten. Boy, Does he make one sexy angel! Oh and check out his boner. Classic pic. Oh and not to mention his ass in those True Blood episodes.

That body is amazing! You know he actually reminded me of a guy I was once with....no comment. Wait there more artisic photos of this irresistable hunk.




Gorgeous, just gorgeous but just wait and see this. You might have a hormonal combustion....


You're just begging for that towel to be dropped.


You gotta love that ass!


There's only one thing to say...Australian men are so hot, they make my legs quiver. ESPECIALLY this one!