Hi Guys and I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Today, I'm going to do a new segment, it's just like the same thing I did with Endless Love. I'm reviewing movies that was either bad, obscure, or a part of my childhood. I would even review movies that are considered my favorite but let's start with the bad and the obscure shall we?
Babes In Toyland is a little-known 1986 TV movie starring Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves.
Barrymore was riding high off the success of such movies like ET: The Extraterrestrial and the cult hit Firestarter.
And this was one of Reeves' major starring role before breaking out in movies like River's Edge, Dangerous Liaison, and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
There's also an actress by the name of Jill Schoelen who would later star in the 80's horror classic The Stepfather.
Boy the 80's were weird. Though as a kid I was pretty fascinated. I used to love 80's movies, especially fantasy and horror.
So I came upon watching this about 15 or 16 years ago, and I would say I sort of liked it, however, I gotten bored by last minute. The cast was good for what they worked with, though, they had to deliver some terrible dialogue.
But I think the story is more important to go over, So will go through this nice and quickly:
Lisa Piper, a responsible 11 year old who looks after her single mom and siblings, sits at home to receive news of a terrible blizzard coming to the city of Cincinnati. So she goes to warn her older sister and friends, who work at the toy store.
So on their way home, the storm worsens, causing Lisa to be pulled back and being whisked out of the car.
Soon, she finds herself into the whimsical place called Toyland. Where she witnesses a wedding being held.
It is between Ingénue Mary and the villainous old-enough-to-be-her-dad Barnabus, along with his two henchman , which one reminds me of Nosforeatu and the other reminds me of Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture show.
Once she gets a tip-off from a friend named Georgie Porgie, that Mary really loves Jack, Lisa stops the wedding at once and tells off Barnabus and Mary's mother.
After Lisa and the gang rescue Mary from the wedding, They go to the toymaster for help once they figure out Barnabus wants total power over Toyland. Let's not forget this guy lives in a freakin' bowling ball. Nobody wants a leader that lives in a bowling ball.
Meanwhile, Barnabus hatches an evil plan to frame his nephew Jack by raiding the cookie shop. Soon when everybody suspects Jack of the crime, he is taken to jail and charged with COOKIE THEFTFRY. Lol, I'm not joking guys. It's not long after when Lisa and the gang find a way figure out a way to break Jack out of jail.
They run off, only for Jack to be captured AGAIN by Barnabus by this time.
Lisa and Georgie Porgie are a little hesitant to confront Barnabus but Mary is more headstrong and goes off to save her man.
But in this particular scene, this is where I laughed till the days on end. Mary literally says "I need to do something other than crying." Wow. Do you see how bad the dialogue is people. It shows how useless this character. Even she knows it herself. To no surprise she easily gets caught herself, including Lisa and Georgie. Where the hell does Barnabus gets those traps anyway?
He soon sets them up in a poisonous gas that would turn them into troll monsters but Lisa is somehow immune to it because.....Wait for it......She's from Cincinnati. How fucking stupid. So she gets all her friends to sing the national Cincinnati song and they break free of Barnabus' clutches.
Lisa and the crew go back to the toymaster agin, only for him to reveal the reason why his toys don't come to life is because Lisa has lost touch with her inner child.
Once she realizes this, the toy soldiers come to life and it's ready for battle between Barnabus and his trolls.
Blah, Blah, Blah. Barnabus is soon banished. Mary and Jack get married, and it turns out the toymaster was Santa Claus all along. Yeah, really lame twist.
So he takes Lisa back home and she soon wakes up to see her family and friends.
THE END(thank god)
Okay, here are my issues with this movie:
This didn't have to be a musical. The songs were quite forgettable and the musical numbers comes up at the most inconvenient times.
Why was Lisa trying to set up Mary's mom with Barnabus? It'll be worse if he was the girl's stepfather(heh, heh, get it).
Then there's the writing and the dialogue. I think I said my say on the dialogue. The story, by the way, is pretty unoriginal. It's kind of like a mashup of The Wizard Of Oz and Alice In Wonderland.
I really expected this movie to be hilariously bad movie as certain movies in my childhood don't hold quite well. But I found myself oddly enjoying it. Don't get me wrong it's not good but it won't hurt to watch it for just once in your life.
My Last Word: If you were a kid in the 80's, you probably would give it a peek or two. And trust me, through all the ridiculous costumes, the awful special effects, and lazy musical numbers, you can't help but be entertained by this.
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