About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Movie Review: Freddy Vs. Jason

When I first watched this movie, I....I hated it. I hated it with a passion. I felt like it could've been much better than it was. So a couple of years went by and it suddenly became entertaining. For those of you out there, you have to look at this movie with an open mind. Being a Jason and Freddy fan, I could've expect something more but this is the best they can come up with: A typical teen slasher movie. Unfortunately, I read the earlier scripts and man, were they crappy. I wouldn't blame them for making their final decision, I mean it took years for the producers to make a good Freddy vs. Jason film, however, they still should've gotten better writers, more better developed characters, and more emotional depths on both of the antagonists.
So here's the story: Freddy sets out this plan to put back the fears of the elm street kids since the townspeople have long gone forgotten about him. So he resurrects Jason to be his dragon. Meanwhile, Lori and her friends are having a get together when suddenly one of her friends is murdered. Now, she's beginning to gain fear of freddy coming back which provides him to rise again, only to have Jason in the way, who is a non-stop killing machine. While freddy fights Jason to win the crown of best slasher villian, Lori, her long, lost boyfriend, Will and the rest of the remaining teens try to stop them before Springfield becomes a ghost town.
Monica Kenna did a great perfomance. At first, I thought she was a bit melodramatic, since she worked in a few teen dramas. But overall, she's a good actress. Jason Ritter also did a good job(not to mention pretty handsome), But I can tell he hasn't done a horror movie before just by looking at him. Kelly Rowland was actually good in her first acting debut, but her character was kind of annoying at times. Katherine Isabelle did a great job developing a rather bland, cliche character. chris marquette was adorable as the lovable, picked on nerd. Brandon Flecther gave a rather breif yet intense performance and not too bad on the looks deparment etheir.
The directing is very stylish, having the lighting tone of the two villains branch out their personalities. Jason is blue and melancholy, freddy is red and full of rage. Also blue meaning water and red meaning fire, which are their greatest weaknesses.
The story was good but could've had more plot to go along with the movie to make it much better than it was. Like what if the two main characters were releated to Freddy and Jason or what if the said town was actually a ghost town? The story could've been much more interesting and insightful. Nothing against this movie though, couple of years down the road they'll probably make a  live-action version of the comic book sequel but I doubt it since those pesky remakes are in the way. But just in case, hopefullly they'll make it just so the story could mesh well better. However, pretty entertaing slasher flick.
My last Word: Oh just watch it for the hell of it.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre(2003)

Now I for one can't stand horror movie remakes. Some are ok while some are just awfully bad and contrived. So what started this whole movie remake trend? Whose stupid idea multiply this to a pulp? Well, it all started in 1998. Gus Van Sant decided to remake the 1960 classic Pshyco. It was marketed as this big slasher bloodfest because you know stuff like that was getting popular. When it theaters to an unexpected audience, moviegoers were not pleased and the movie did terribly because it was a shot-for-shot remake which was unnecessary. So there was no more re-doings for a while until in 2003 when New Line Cinema released the much anticipated The Texas Chainsaw Massacre reboot. It's a very grim psychological take on the  1974 shockfest. In my opinion, was a smart choice. To be honest, the original just seem like any other slasher film to me. It could be the scariest movie in the world but can it be for today's audiences? I don't think so. Because we've been there, done that. And the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre is looked as a typical slasher movie whereas the remake dwells more deeper into the cannibalistic family, marketing as pschyloical horror.
So here's the story: It's 1973, a group of young adults are on their way to a lynard skynard concert. They soon pick up a traumatized, shaken young woman from the off the roadway. She begs and warns them to turn around, when they refuse, the girl in immediate distress, shoots herself, leaving the group in shock and panic. Soon right after, they receive help from the sheriff, who's aggressive, demeaning behavior disturbs them. To make matters worse, while going to a family house, two of the group members are chased by a crazed maniac with a chainsaw. Erin is the only who breaks free from the attack while one of her friends is wounded and captured. It is only up to her to save her friends from the bloodied clutches of the crazed maniac known as leatherface and his cannibalistic Klan.
Jessica Biel blew me away, putting so much depth into her character, making her one of the most memorable final girls in horror films. Just like Eliza Dushku, her middle name shall be badass. She is truly the star of this movie. Jonathan Tucker was so adorable as the funny, dorky guy. It's a shame seeing him killed in such a brutal way. Erica Leershen is good in one of her breakout roles. Mike Vogel sure does have a body on him. All wet and sweaty. And that hair! those golden blond locks swishing. Oh yeah, his acting. Well, this was one of Mike Vogel's first feature films after his male modeling gig and I was pretty distracted by his good looks. But otherwise, he was good in this. Eric Balfour was actually good in his brief scenes too, before getting whacked, not to mention a total hottie.
The directing is very creative, making the lightings dark and moody which matched the tone of the film. The scenes were suspenseful, believe me or not. Intense and hair-raising to default. What was really smart, they kept the plot in the 70's, putting realism into the mix.
Just to let you know, this is Inspired by a true not based. It was just a marketing ploy to hype up the audience. Overall, this was one of the best horror remakes of the decade. But to add insult to injury, this movie was the reason why we have so many shitty remakes, so there is always an agree to disagree.
My Last Word: A total must see!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

Hunk Of The Day: Micheal Fassbender

Our hunk of the day is the rising star of Inglourious Bastards, Fish Tank, Jane Eyre and Shame. He also plays one hot superhero. He is the ever so handsome....

Micheal Fassbender. Would you look at those eyes.....Mesmerizing! Wait, I would love to show you more....


Look at those pearly whites!


Dark and mysteriousss....


Boy Howdy! look at those biceps!

Let's see him shirtless shall we?













Money Shot!

So there you have it. A sexy, gorgeous hunk we would love to see more of. And just to let you know, those german eyes always get the mark.


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Movie Review: Wrong Turn

Woah boy! This was definitely the movie to kick start the old school slasher genre. People were pretty smart about the marketing. You know in some movie trailer where they give out the shit right away, well in this one they don't exactly reveal the killers, it's only left to what you're guessing. Which is pretty cool, and that's what makes the movie scarier than it is.
So here's the story: A med school graduate is on his way to an interview, traveling way up to the smoky mountains of West Virginia. All of sudden, he crashes his car, colliding with a group of campers. Trapped in the middle of the wilderness, they try to find their way out only to come across some hungry hillbilly cannibals.
Eliza 'Badass' Dushku. That, is her new name. Boy, did she turn on the action as our honorary final girl. She was a tour de force. Desmond Harrington, gorgeous or what. Those intense blue eyes is his best acting features. *sigh* Jeremy Sisto. That curly hair. That handsome face. And he's such a sweet guy in this movie, so sad to see he didn't quite make it. And then there's his girlfriend with the annoying squeaky voice. Ugh. Good thing she got an axe right through her mouth. Oh but her actress was good by the way. Lindy Booth and Kevin Zegers we hardly knew ye.
Now let's get to the suspense scenes. Boy howdy, were they scary. But the one scene that was really hair-raizing was the escape scene, which is truly the most suspenseful ever. And the group watching their friend get eaten. Total frightfest there.
The story worked well like any slasher story. A group of friends get trapped in the woods but having two story arcs in the mix is second best.
Wow. Just wow. It's certainly a horror movie to watch. Great chase scenes, lots of gore, not so much character development but who cares, that's what old school slashers are made for.
My last word: A slasher funfest

Movie Review: Jeeper Creepers 2

To my knowledge this movie didn't deserve a sequel. But I'm not saying this is terrible. It's actually good and captures the suspense of the first film. But having a movie with this many characters and actually have the real main characters show up at the end is.....a problem. the pacing can be a bit slow sometimes and being trapped in a bus can be a vaulable time waster.
So here's the story: while going on a bus trip, a high school basketball team and it's cheerleaders get trapped in the middle of nowhere while the unforseen creature hungers for blood. Meanwhile a grieving father plans his revenge on the creature who killed his son. The kids must fight for survival just when the farmer take charge on his supernatural rival.
There was just so many characters I just can't catch up with who. I don't even know who the main characters are. There's two arcs in one story and it's hard to seperate the two. But otherwise, the acting is good.
Having two arcs in one story can be a bit of problem, however, it blended in well with the pacing and suspense scenes in tow.
As you know in sequels, they pretty much hyped up the action and body count. Which is kind of fun and at the edge of your seat.
So there you have it, a fun scary sequel that's pretty watchable.
My last word: An immense thrill ride.


Movie Review: Jeeper Creepers

Finally! A horror film that know it's horror! Suspenseful chase scenes, Cringe-worthy death scenes, and moments that will jump you right out of your seat. Back in the scream generation hey days of the late 90's, filmmakers wanted to make something different for their teenage audience. A homicidal maniac killing random kids was getting kind of old. So they decided to push more on the supernatural side of things with films like disturbing behavior, the falcalty, The rage: carrie 2 etc. None of those were successful until 2001when director Victor Salva released Jeepers Creepers which brought back old school horror in a new light.
So here's the story: Siblings Trish and Darry decide to travel cross country on spring break. Little do they know a unknown maniac with a monster truck is terrorizing them. All through the day and all  through the night, the brother and sister duo try their best to fight off this psycho who is....not quite human...
Gina Phillips was fantastic. Playing a final girl who is strong, smart, and resourceful to the craziness around her. She handled it perfectly well. *sigh* Justin Long. Not only is he cute, he really did struck my heart with his realistic protrayal. Cute and funny Justin Long. It's a shame he didn't live in the end. The character of Jezel was actually a deconstructed version of the crazy eledery person in these movies. She admits it's not easy dealing with visions involving monsters killing and eating people. That's what makes the character so real. then we have a cameo by Ellen Bernnan. And just like any well-known actor transtioning to horror films, she hams it up in hams town.
The story worked wonderfully with the pacing and scenes. By golly were they suspenseful! The creeper was defintely creepy and the gore and effects worked perfectly.
A great horror film that brings back the old school feel to shock a new generation of audiences.
My last word: A definite must see!


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Movie Review: Seed Of Chucky

This movie was a hoot! I had never laughed so hard at how bad this movie is. But for some strange reason I had fun watching this. Don't get me wrong, this movie is totally shitty but it's one those bad movies you can watch on a rainy day.
So here's the story: Little baby Chucky is all grown up and is now living in london with an abusive ventriloquist. He sees his biological parents on t.v. and decides to escape from the viscious ventriloquist and travels to los angeles where Chucky and Tiffany are shooting a movie which so happens to star Jennifer Tilly, Tiffany's favorite actress. Oh yes, let's get to Jennifer Tilly, an actress so desprate to stay thin, so desprate to be on screen again, she attempts to sleep with Redman, who is making this soon-to-be fiasco. Meanwhile, Chucky's offspring, so excited he have found his parents, revives them in a vodoo ritual. He soon reveals himself to them, to Chucky's shock. Since he really doesn't have a name, Chucky decides to name him Glen while Tiffany perfers Glenda. Together, Tiffany and Chucky tries to show Glen or Glenda the ropes of killing, who is pretty much repressed about it. All the while Jennifer is trying to revive her career in the midst of murders happening around Tinsletown.
Ugh! where to begin. Poor Jennifer Tilly. She just can't catch a break. All I see her in is these awfully cheesy movies and this one pretty much takes the cake. A once promising actress with an oscar nommination is now stuck doing relentlessly bad movies. She would be a great comedian though. Can Redman even act? i just don't get it. How High wasn't that great and he had a failed tv show. This movie seems to be the end of his acting career. Hannah Spirit from SClub7 was actually good in this. Too bad she gets to be in this horrid movie and was one of the more decent characters that was brutally murdered for no good reason.
The story and execution could've been better than it was. And there had to be some reason to show Jennifer Tilly's face in this movie as Jennifer Tilly. She could've been better off in a cameo. This seems to be the nail in the coffin for her career. And when an oscar-winning actress decides to play in an down and out slasher film, especially as herself, she positively won't be taken seriously in hollywood until one or two good movies would save her from being laughed at. I like Jennifer Tilly, don't get me wrong, she just needs to try more different things. Being a scream queen is fun and all but going on different ventures could make her a more versatile actress.
Just like the last one, the deaths are more gory and elaborate. Oh wait! was that John Waters? Oh too bad his face was half gone. And what was with the Britney Spears death scene. Totally unnecessary.
There's just nothing I can say about this. It's a bad film that should've gotten less hollywood cameos. But you can sit and watch with friends to have a good laugh at it.
My Last Word: Watchable, but don't hold your breath.


Movie Review: Bride Of Chucky

Yet another 90's cult favorite. This is the more campier of the five films but not as campy as the fifth one, now that was campy on cheese levels. this has bad acting, annoying characters, and bad writing. Yet this is one of the most entertaining movie of the scream generation. Not mention funny as well.
So here's the story: Chucky's long lost girlfriend, Tiffany, is determined to get him back by transferring his soul into his original doll body. Stitched up, rejuvenized, and crazed, Chucky is back for some killing but not without tagging along his bride to be. After having a huge falling out with Tiffany, Chucky kills her and transfer her soul to a female doll of Chucky's replica. Now a badass blond with her own kind of look, Tiffany joins Chucky for a bloodfest and holding hostage newlywed couple Nick and Jess to steal their souls and make it into their own.....
Now you know what I said about the acting. Jennifer Tilly pretty much ham this up. Coming from an oscar-nomminated actress, she's bound to go over the top. Katherine Heigl as good as an actress she is, could've done a better job. Or maybe it was her bland character that just wasn't working for her? Nick Stable. I don't know who Nick Stable is but his character was pretty flat as well but whew is hot or what? Is that Alexis Arquette? this was way back before her glamour days. She should really try goth again, she would look totally fierce. Brad Dourif is memorable as always as Chucky.
The deaths are more elaborate and the blood is much thicker in this sequel. It does have it's funny moments which makes the movie shine. So this is why the producers decided to make Seed Of Chucky a horror-comedy rather than straight up horror. Which brings me the ending that scared the shit out of me when I was eight years old.
What I like about this is it has that 90's B-movie feel with lots of high action in it. And just like any silly 90's horror film, it doesn't take itself too seriously....at all.
Some Chucky fans are a bit mixed with this. Some think this is pretty shitty while some thinks this is the best entry. I never really cared for the Child's Play movie but this I quite frankly enjoyed.
My Last Word: Good o'l stupid fun.


Movie Review: Doppelganger

This has got to be one of the most cheesiest movies of the 90's. it's a shame that Drew Barrymore was put in this crap. But any struggling former child star have to make due before going on to big and better things. And boy did Drew Barrymore had to make due.
So here's the story: A paranoid debutante is running from her ghostly self while staying with her live-in lover. And that's all. Sorry folks.
God, the acting is bad but not awfully terrible to my relief. Drew Barrymore is a great actress, one of my favorites. But she's just wasted in this. All she gets to do is act all scared and sexy while wearing really bad hair extensions. I don't know who the other actor is but he's cute though. Oh my god, Leslie Hope was so annoying. Her character just won't shut the fuck up. it would be great if she was one of the victims. However...she wasn't. Can you believe Dennis Christopher of Breaking Away was in this movie? And just like any other actor in oscar-winning film, he hams it up like it's no tommorrow.
The special effects was cool...but that's the only highlight of this movie and nothing else.
A forgettable piece of crap that shouldn't be remembered.
My last word: Please. You have so much precious time to save. So much precious time.


Monday, February 6, 2012

Movie Review: I still know what you did last summer

This was pretty fun to watch. It dosen't take itself too seriously and shouldn't. It's just a fun, silly 90's slasher flick. And it's actually a childhood favorite of mine when I was 11.
So here's the story: It begins with Julie getting over the trumatic events of the first film, feeling as if she's being stalked by the not-so-dead killer. When her friend and roomate Karla wins a trip to the Bahamas, she cordially obliges seeing it as a stress reliver, along with Karla's boyfriend Ty and Julie's new friend, Will. Once they arrive there, strange things starts occuring right off the bat. Then as you guessed, the body count starts rolling in and Julie and her friends have to fight for survival. It's only up to Ray to save her from the killer's hook once again.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is fierce as ever playing a woman who's been through hell and back. being smart, resourceful, and aware as she was in the first film. Freddie Prinze Jr. was good. Too bad we don't get to see much of his handsome face. The movie marketed as if he was part of the cast but he has very little scenes and he dosen't get to be part of the action until the end. Now I'm not saying brandy is a great actress or anything, However, she was pretty good in this. She made her character fun, relatable, and also sassy. Which is why she lived till the end. Mehki Phifer was good and very easy to look at. You seen the body on him? I cannot believe Jack Black of all people was in a slasher film. At first, I thought he was some silly white guy with dreadlocks but at first glance it's Jack Black pulling off his early comedic chops. And just like in these movies, The funny guy gets it worst as the jerk does. His death is indeed brutal. And then we have Matthew Steele....Hot goregeous Matthew Steele. Those eyes. That body! *sigh*  He plays the cute, nerdy guy which makes him even more iriestable. What a dreamboat. But to my shock this dreamboat turns out to be the killer! Or at least one of the killers(his father is his partner in crime.) Which brings me that burning question: Why do the hottest guys in horror films go crazy?
Just like any other slasher film sequel, this one is much bloodier and gorier with high body although it consist of random people getting killed. There are actually some suspenseful scenes here. The tanning booth scene actually gave me the chills. The story would've sound ridiculous for some but really drives the action foward to the story and goes along with the pacing.
It's not perfect. It does have it's problems but otherwise a good popcorn flick that's not for everyone however can go along with a group of friends to pass time.
My last word: Although cheesy at best, it's defintely a 90's cult favorite.


Saturday, February 4, 2012

Same Movie, Different Plot: Return To Oz and Labyrinth

Just to point this out, there are vast similarities to the 1985 movie Return to Oz and the year after that, 1986 Labyrinth.
You have your pale-skinned brunette heroines with active imaginations, a manipulate king, and a trio of odd compainons, including a talking animal.
Here are the examples:
The actresses profoundly look-a-like. They could almost pass as sisters. Also to mention they both have wide green eyes.




The main villian is awfully charming being the perfect gentlmen with blase debnair.




The Magical world is connected to the real with a mirror













A girl can't live without her traveling compainions





And There's always a chance she'll reunite with them in a grand finale party






So there you have it, two underatted gems with slight comparisons to look out for.

P.S. Can you  believe Dorothy grows up to be Nancy?