About Me

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Hi, my name is Jonathan Denard McNeair and I grew up in Lexington, North Carolina, also known as Pig City...Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha...The town is mostly known for its barbeque where they often throw barbeque festivals every October. In my chosen career, I am a self-published author of fiction.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Hunk Of The Day: Ryan Gosling

Now to present one of the four Ryans in our special of the Hunk Of The Day Combo. I just can't get over how gorgeous this guy is. Not is he super-hot, his devestately talented. and Good looks and Talent is a very unique package....

*sigh* Talk about dreamay! Wait there's more.....

He looks classic in black and white.


You gotta love him in suits...

Now on to the shirtless pics. I know you been waiting for that....


mmmm......

I hope you enjoyed eyeing his wonderful hunkness because I sure did.....

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Hunk Of The Day: The Four Ryans

Hi readers. Sometime this week, I will post some of the hottest hunks on the planets. and four of them have the same name. That's right. Ryan is certianly the type of name to remember.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Movie Reviews: I Know What You Did Last Summer

There were many scream copy-cats during that time but this is profoundly the most memorable. For any of you who don't know this, it was based on a Lois Duncan novel of the same. The only difference is the violence is a bit tame compared to the movie. That's what makes this so interesting; a slasher movie that's based on a novel which will have a great deal of character development. Most slasher films have a hard time putting that into context. It may seem like the characters are cardboard cut-outs but it's deeper than that as they are haunted by the events of the story.
It starts out like this: Four friends, the smart girl, the beauty queen, the nice guy, and the jerk jock go for a little R+R in the beaches of North Carolina late one summer with a little alcohol in their system. They stupidly decide to drive very fast by the coast near by when suddenly they run over a prestedian, who turns out to be an innocent(or so it seems) fisherman who got off late from work. Out of desprate panic, the group get rid of the body by dumping it into a pier sinking it into it's watery grave. They vow never to speak of this again.
It's next summer after college, the smart girl, Julie James, just having got back from her studies, receives a letter that reads "I know what you did last summer." In a state of horror, Julie runs into her former friends of last summer, Helen: the beauty queen, Barry: Helen's jerk jock ex-boyfriend, and Ray: The nice guy and Julie's lost love. Together, they must figure out who is stalking them before getting hooked by the mysterious fisherman who may or may not be the guy they ran over on that fateful night.
The acting is pretty strong, especially for Jennifer Love Hewitt. This was actually the role that made her a star. Along with her sweet girl-next-door charm and her inner strength she brings into her character. Not to mention Sarah Michelle Gellar AKA Buffy The Vampire Slayer. She really put depth into her character to make her sympatheic because most dumb blondes in horror movies are vapid and shallow with little to no common sense. But Mrs. Gellar deconstructs this in such a way that it's almost sad to see her character get hooked towards the middle of the movie. Let me just say this, what really bother is how everybody in the movie says how horrible the actress look, however they still look like their beautiful glamorous selves. Now for the hot male cast. Woah boy. I gotta remember to focus on their talents before admiring their sizziling hot bodies, especially Ryan Phillipee's. We'll get back to that later. Freddie Prinze Jr. was really good. Of course, he plays the heroic male lead but with a sense of vunerability that hasn't been seen before in a male lead in a horror movie. Not mention to he has the most cuteset brown eyes in which it actually reminded me of a boy I had a hopeless crush on. No comment. Now as for the sexy, hot Ryan Phillipee, he's a real aggressive jerk in this movie. But even I was sad when got hooked. He was really convincing, not because of that hot body of his. It's because he was really good at his performance.
The suspense scenes are really engaging and cringe-worthy. May I remind you this is based on a novel. And probably some scenes in the book, match so well in the movie. This brings us down to the awesome chase scene with the fisherman and Sarah Michelle Gellar. This was hands down the most suspenseful part of the movie. When I first saw this(I was 7 by the way) I was at the edge of my seat.
The story really help flesh out the characters and mircalously make them sympathetic than most slasher movie stereotypes. You may think this your by-the-number slasher but once you look beyond that and go deep into the story. Or maybe even read the book, your call. You might have an instant 90's classic on your hands.
My last word: Highly suspenseful, highly entertaining slasher flick.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Mystical Tides Part 3

Scene: Library
(Maddie is sitting in the library, reading Shakespere's Romeo and Juliet)
(In the dark shadows, a shadowy figure appears behind a bookcase, coming close to Maddison)
(Maddison can feel something crepping behind her. She turns around with a shocked look on her face)
(A wolf-creature dressed in clothes, is standing infront of her. Maddison drops into the floor, crawling back but the creature stands back in hesitation)
Wolf-like Creature: I didn't mean to frighten you.
(Maddison stumbles up, still shocked from fear)
Wolf-creature(extends his hand): I'm Lance
(Maddison hesitantly come close to his face and touches it slightly)
Maddison(softly): What are you?
(Lance gently takes her hand)
Lance: It's a curse
Maddison: A curse?
Lance: I feel in love with this girl who lived with this old hag. It was during the 17th century.
Maddison: you lived that long?
Lance: We have a short life expansion here in the magic relam.
So I thought I found my true love but it turned out she was in lust with me. She had over 45 men in her lust. The worst part was.....She got pregnant. She pointed the finger at me and that when the old hag cast the hex on me. Citing that no one will ever come close to my handsome face in the night.
(Maddison looks at him with understanding)
Maddison: In the night? So you're completely normal in the daytime?
Lance: Or at least in some points in the daytime
Maddison: Did you find any cure for this curse?
Lance(chuckles): Once I arrived here I asked Queen Sarosia for my help. But she said the only way to cure the curse is to find that one true love.
(Maddison and Lance look at each other in awkward silence and they begin to laugh softly)
Maddison: I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago.
(Maddison walks over to the bookcases and searches through the books)
Maddison(searching): I'm sure there's a book on curing hexes.......
(Maddison stops for a minute)
Maddison: You know what....
(Maddison goes over to face Lance)
Maddison: I suddenly don't feel nervous around you anymore.
(Lance smiles)
Lance: I'm glad you don't.
(Lance turns around towards his desk)
Maddison: Lance...
Lance: Yes....
Maddison: What happened to your former lover since then?
Lance: She had a miscarrage and lived the rest of her life as an old crone. Looking more and more of the old hag she used to live with. I pity her.
Maddison: I guess she had her true form.
Lance: Yeah....
(Lance lowers his head in thought)
(Maverick walks in, standing at the entrance)
Maverick: Hello Maddison
Maddison: Oh hi
Maverick: I see that you met Lance
(Maddison smiles at Lance. Lance smiles back)
Maddiosn: Yes.....Yes I have.
Maverick: I guess we should begin training....Kristen and Alex are waiting.
Maddison: I'll be there quickly
(Maddison goes up to Lance and holds his hands)
Maddison: Take care
(Maddison goes over to Maverick towards the entrance)
Scene: Garden
 
(Kristen is closing her eyes as she tries to think of something but opens her eyes and let out a tired puff)
Kristen: I can't do it
Maverick: Don't give up now. I know you have it in you.
Kristen: How do you expect me to glow?
Maverick: It's simple. try not to think so hard.
(Maverick comes behind her and holds her gently coming close to her ear)
Maverick(whispers): Think of something serene. Pleasant. Heavenly. Now close your eyes.
(Kristen closes her eyes)
Scene: Kristen's daydream
(A dreamy, smoky light surrounds a shadowy woman. She beckons out her hand)
Woman's voice: Kristen....Kristen....Kristen
Maverick's Voice: Kristen
(Kristen eyes snap open to reality)
Maverick: You're glowing
(Kristen's whole body is glowing with pure light. She looks at her hand in disbelief)
Kristen: Wow, I can't believe it.
Maverick: I think we reached our stepping stone.
Montage:
(Maddison is practicing chemistry while reading a special potions book)
(Alex is using her fire energy with her hand by flaming a bush. After this, she stares at her hand, not sure of her power)
(Kristen uses her telekinieis by floating books and cups around)
(Maverick is telling Kristen a story while she is somewhat fascinated)
Scene: Grand Entrance
(Kristen, Aunt Claudia, and Aunt Martha are walking at the Grand Entrance of the Castle)
Aunt Martha: I hope you're not still mad.
Kristen: I'm kind of over it.
Aunt Claudia: We only did it because we love you
Kristen: I understand now. Things must have been so complicated.
Aunt Martha: Come sit down with us, sweetheart......We try so hard to protect you from the evils of this world. But sometimes you have to face them on your own.
Kristen: What if I don't have it in me?
Aunt Martha: Honey, you have it in you, now. You just have to use that strength to fight the monster that we face everyday.
(Kristen hugs both Claudia and Martha)
Kristen(softly, tearfully): Wish me luck.
Scene: Library
(Maddison enters the room, looking for Lance)
Maddison: Lance? Are you there?
Lance's voice: I'm here
(Lance is hiding in the shadows)
Maddison: I just never seen what you look like in the daylight
(Lance comes out of the shadow to reveal a handsome-looking, blue-eyed, brown-haired young man)
Lance: You do now
(Maddison steps closer to him)
Maddison: Wow.....you look......
Lance: Human?
Maddison: Beautiful
(Awkward Silence)
Maddison(laughs nervously): I should've said that.
Lance: No, it's ok.
(Lance holds Maddison's hand)
Lance: Thank you
(The two of them look into each other's eyes, longly)
Scene: Bedroom
(Alex leans over at the balcolny, staring at the woods below. She sees a figure there, hiding behind a tree but it disappears)
Kristen: Alex?
(Alex turns around, a bit startled. Kristen stands at the door)
Kristen: What are you doing?
Alex: Just thinking
Kristen: Queen Sarosia wants us in the council in five minutes.....and Alex?
Alex: Yeah?
Kristen: You know I'm always here for you
Alex: I'm okay. Just go do whatever.
Kristen: I'll be in the Grand bedroom
Alex: Hey Kristen
(Kristen catches Alex's attention)
Alex(kindly): Thanks
(Kristen grins and exits to the door)
Scene: The Castle- Council Meeting
(Kristen, Alex, and Maddie are walking to a corner with each circle on the floor)
(Queen Sarosia stand in front of them, regally)
Queen Sarosia: This will be a tough road for you, girls. But for now, I'm sending you back to your mortal socitey where you should be. But I must warn you, eyes will always be watching. And trouble might find their way.(takes a moment) Take care, girls.
(Kristen looks at Queen Sarosia, warmly and waves her hand)
(Each of the girls hold their hands, glowing, forming a white light beneath the floor)
(Queen Sarosia is chanting)
Scene: The Summer's House-Kristen's Bedroom
(Kristen pops up from under covers as if she had woken up. She checks the time)
Kristen: Was that all a dream?
(Kristen hops out of the bed and race towards the stairs)
Kristen: Aunt Martha?! Aunt Claudia?!
(Kristen walks in the kitchen. There is a note on the refridgerator. Kristen reads it)
Note: We're staying at the magic relam for a while to run some errands. Now remember, be sure to look both ways. Danger could be headed etheir way. Only trust the ones that are by your side. Alex and Maddison will help you through.
Love,
Martha and Claudia
Kristen(to herself): So it wasn't a dream.
(Kristen studies a mug on the table and reaches her hand out. The mug istantly floats towards Kristen's hand)
(Kristen thinks thoughtfully. She then rubs her head)
Kristen: I gotta get ready for school
(She runs up the stairs)
Scene: Roverton High School
(Kristen walks at the front yard of the school to see Alex and Maddie, sitting out at the bench. She sits between them)
Kristen: Are you guys okay about this?
Alex: What do you think? Don't you think it's strange that we have to go to school with all this waving around in our heads.
Kristen: We just have to keep cool and not try anything drastic. If we don't know how to use our powers correctly, things can get out of hand quickly.
(Kelly is standing with a group of people. She looks sad. She see alex from afar and waves at her)
Alex: guys, I have to go for second.
(Alex walks over to Kelly, who has a serious look on her face. The crowd clears away)
Alex: What's wrong, Kell?
Kelly(trembling): It's Jared......he........he died in a accident.....I'm really sorry, Alex.
(Alex stared at Kelly, blankly)
(Kelly gives Alex a gentle hug)
Kelly: I'm really sorry, Alex.
Alex(trembles): Kell, Why won't we....talk about this later.
(Alex walks back over to front yard. Kelly looks over at Kristen and Maddie)
Kelly: What are you doing over there with them?
(Alex turns around and walks over to Kelly)
Alex: I'm just talking to them. Is there any harm in that?
Kelly(rolls her eyes): Alex, come on, they're freaks of nature.
Alex(angry): For christ sakes, Kelly! My boyfriend just died. Can you think about anybody but your goddamn self!
(Alex stroms over to Kristen and Maddie while Kelly stood there, stunned)
Kristen: What was that about?
Alex: Just your old regular high school bullshit
Maddie: Why won't we meet at the libarary to dicuss this later.
Kristen: Sure
(The girls went inside the school just as the bell rings)
Scene: Libarary
(Kristen, Maddie, and Alex are sitting at the table, discussing)
Kristen: Ok.....Let me put this all together now. So our parents must be descendents to the white soilders, which makes us some type of mythical conquest.
Alex: How can that be? We barely know how to use our powers
Maddie: There might be some unknown history about greek goddesses of the roman century. We might be connected to them somehow.
Alex: How is that possible?
Maddie: What we just experienced before all this........Things don't happen like that out of the ordinary. The way we just contribute our energy is a gift.
Kristen: I knew there was something.......odd about me. But not until just now. When I was about 10 or 11, I always thought someone was watching me....Like someone was protecting me from anything that's bad. Then one night I saw my mom in the mirror, all dressed in white. I just stared at her.....She beckoned(Kristen beckons and presses her hand on her heart) and once I came close to the mirror...She....She faded away.
(Alex sympatheically comforts Kristen)
(Close up on Maddie's face. A tear softly rolls down her cheek. She looks down)
Maddie(has her head down, choking with words): I would like to tell a story
(Kirsten and Alex catches her attention)
(Maddie lifts her head up, wiping away her tears)
Maddie: It was a cold november night....I was waiting for Matthew, the boy I had a crush on. This was when I was at my old school. I really didn't make any friends there.....but I thought that night was really special. Just walking with Matthew was sweet....(seriousiness in her voice) But then something happened.
Cut To:
(Flashblack: Matthew, a tall, athletic boy, is walking with Maddie, smiling. Then all of a sudden, he grabs both of her shoulders tightly. Two teenagers(one boy, one girl) come up behind her, wrapping a bag over her head. This is all in slow motion)
Maddie(voice over): All I can see was darkness from that point on.......
(The two teens tie up Maddie, hanging her hands up to a tree. They remove the bag over her head, laughing evily at her)
Teen girl(whispers in Maddie's ear): Maybe we should just leave you here
(Matthew and the two teens, walk out into the woods, leaving Maddie there, shaken and alone. Her glasses slip into the ground. All Maddie could see was a blurry vision)
Maddie(voice over): I thought I was gonna die a cold, cruel death. But then something happened......
(A flash of light glow over Maddie's cold stricken face)
Cut To:
Present Day-Libarary
(Close up on Maddie's eyes)
Maddie: Suddenly......I wasn't cold anymore. It was like a ray of hope shined down on me. Help was only a mile away, so I was safe. By the following week I had to change schools.
Kristen: I had a near death experience once. When my cuts got too deep(Kristen reveals two small visible scars on her wrist under her wrist band) all I could see was that blurry vision. Just one flash of light, everything was clear now. And my wounds heal quicker.
Alex: It's like all this was happening the whole time
(A mysterious figure slowly comes up to the girls, through the bookcases)
Mysterious Voice: Girls
(The girls stared up at him startled by his sudden voice)
(It reveals to Maverick)
Kristen: Maverick. What are doing here?
Maverick: We have to be at the Eastern Tower soon.
Kristen: You mean the historical site?
Maddie: That place is restricted. We're not allowed there unless it's visiting hours.
Maverick: There is someone special I would like to meet
Alex: You mean someone lived down there? All this time?
Maverick: Only temporary. There's not much to explain. Promise you'll be there around night.
(Kristen was about to say something but Maverick turned away towards the bookcases)
Scene: School
(Kristen heads out of the school throughout the crowd of kids, when she bumps into a hooded figure)
(The Scene turns into slow motion as the hooded figure stares back at Kristen, his face barely seen and continues on)
(Kristen stands there, feeling weirded out)
Cut To:
Scene: Pool Hall-Alleyway
(Adam is smoking a ciggarette, staring out at a bar across the street. He flicks his ciggarette, smooths his black leather trenchcoat and walks over to the bar)
(Adam enters the bar. He sees Kelly, sitting alone over to the corner, drinking a beer. She looks as if she had too much to drink. He sits besides her)
Adam(sauve, up close to Kelly): You look a little too young to be at this bar
(Kelly smiles seductively)
Kelly(flashes her fake Id): I always have my Id.
(Adam takes a look at it)
Adam: Looks kinda like you
(Kelly giggles)
Adam: Let's say we stop wasting time in this crummy old bar and have some fun
Kelly: I would mind that (takes a swig of her beer)
Scene: Pool Hall-Night
(Adam and Kelly arrive at the back door of the pool hall which was locked up in chains)
Kelly(slurring): What are doing here? This was closed down yesterday.
Adam: Don't worry, I can find us a way in.
(Kelly looks around the isolated area)
Kelly: I don't see how we can do this
(A sound of a large snap pops at the door)
(Adam opens the door)
Kelly: How....How did you do that?
Adam(dazzles his hands): I have magic fingers. come on, let's still the night away.
(Once they come inside, Kelly pulls off her denim jacket and grabs Adam into a deep passionate kiss until they fully go into a makeout session)
(Adam picks her up and puts her on a table, still passionately, kissing her and caress her body)
Kelly(between breaths): Show me what you got cowboy
(Once Adam kiss down on Kelly's neck, his eyes turn red. His fangs grow and it punctures deep into her neck)
(Kelly screams in pain and lust at the same time. As the fangs go deeper inside her neck, Adam pins her to the wall, hard)
Fade To Black
Fades to scene: Empty Streets/Alleyway-Night
(Alex walks throughout the streets and through the alleyway. Suddenly, a dark figure approaches in front of her)
Dark Figure(smoothly): Now, where would a girl like you go at this time of the night.
(Alex stands back, startled)
Alex: Who the hell are you?
(The dark figure come out of the shadows. It is revealed to be Ascatar)
Ascatar: Let's just say I'm an aquantince
Alex: Right.....Look, I have somewhere important I have to go.
(Alex walks past him and countines down the street)
Ascatar: What is so important you have to go to, Alex? We all don't know of our destiny.
(Alex stops and turns around, confused. She walks up to Ascatar)
Alex: Where did you come from?
Ascatar: don't worry.....You'll be seeing me around.
(Ascatar disappears into alleyway darkness)
(Alex stands there for a moment before continuing down the street, still confused about her encounter)

80's horror film reviews: Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan

Oh Boy. Well to be truthful, this wasn't as bad as I expected. Sure, the concept was all wrong. Half of the movie takes place on a boat for christsakes. It really dosen't live up the hype of Jason invading Manhattan until the middle and end of the movie.
So the real juice of the story begins with our final girl, Rennie who is going on a boat trip with her fellow classmates and her asshole uncle, only that Rennie has a secret phobia she's hiding. It's soon revealed she has a phobia of water and sees visions of you-know-who. So to get the story going, our last main survivors is Rennie, Rennie's love interest Sean, tough guy julian, kind-hearted teacher Ms. Van Deusen, and Rennie's asshole uncle, arriving in New York on a rowboat. So we soon find out that Rennie's uncle was the cause of her phobia when it is shown that he thrown her in the water when she was child, having nightmares about Jason ever since. But don't worry Jason taught him lesson. So Rennie and Sean are the only survivors in New York trying to outrun Jason in the city streets....I'll stop right there. The ending is too weird for me to write about.
The characters along with the acting was only ok. I thought Jessen Dagget was good because in my opinion, Rennie was such a complex character, having a connection to Jason. Which gives us a reason to make her our final girl. The male lead, Scott Reeves was good too. Here is yet another heroic boyfriend that takes things seriously like they should in these movies, especially if there's a killer on boat.
Speaking of boat, why the fuck is this movie set up on a boat? Who's stupid idea was this? I mean, the title says Jason takes MANHATTAN, not Friday The 13th: Boat Fright(stupid title I know). Why couldn't they just take a plane and then Jason's boat might appear on the New York peir or something. I mean that's just my suggestion. It wasn't necessary for the movie to spend half an hour on boat, knowing what's the title about. How stupid these execs can be.
Overall, it was at least watchable. But let me tell you something, if you think this is bad just wait until you watch Jason goes to hell. Now I would call that an abomination. So don't be sour about this one. At least it takes things in another direction.
My last word is: Just go with it. It won't hurt to watch it.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

80's horror movie reviews: Cutting Class

Do you see that gorgeous poster of Brad Pitt? And do you know he was in forgettable slasher movie called Cutting Class? Well here it is and I will give my review of this film in my humble opinion.
So the story is about Brain Woods, a troubled teen who just got released from mental hospital. When he first arrives at school, he meets and istantly has a crush on beautiful, popular Paula Carson but he dosen't realize that she already has a boyfriend in Dwight Ingalls. So here is the start of a love triangle, which also starts along with the killings. Dwight and Brain are the two main suspects in this and Paula is forced to believe which guy she'll trust. So there you have it, nothing really much on the plot actually. The three main characters aren't really that interesting. This movie does have a lot going for them, but ultimately wavers. As for the rest of the characters they are not at all likeable or important even. The dialouge at times can be a little mushy and have some scenes that are irrevelent to the film. As for the acting, Brad Pitt was ok as the heroic but superficial jock. This was he's first movie after all, so you at least got to give some props along with his smoldering good looks. Jill Schoelen was elioquent as always being the underrated actress that she is. She might be in the ranks with Jamie Lee Curtis as the top ten scream queens. Donovan Leitch was a little shaky. He was ok playing the sweet, sensitive type but when it came to playing a psycho killer, it just fell down from there. I wasn't convinced. But at least you can look at those steely blue eyes of his, that would plus. The story is like any teen drama set-up only spiced a little slasher on the side, which makes it ok to have a little character development along with the story to speed up the story. But that still dosen't make a good slasher movie. It's a very muddled when it comes down to it. Sometimes this tries to be a horror-comedy which is kind of ridiculous. The comedy is really not needed at times.
First I watched this on the internet, then I watched it a couple of times on the movie channels but that dosen't mean that this is my favorite movie. Because seriously there was nothing else to watch.
So my last word is: you can watch it if you want to, just don't expect anything redeemable.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

80's horror film reviews: Friday the 13th: The New Blood

This is, hands down, the best friday the 13th movie ever! You may think it's a little cheesy but you can look past that. I'm mean hey it was the 80's. And this was a slasher movie of the 80's.
So the story begins with Tina, a sullen teenager who goes to a camp retreat(you know what) with her mother while still having conflicting memories about her deceased father. On that faithful night when Tina was a little girl, she witnessed her parents fighting resulting her father of hitting her mother. Upset by the outburst, Tina runs out to the boat while her father pleads for forgiveness. Then something strange happens. As young Tina gets angrier, the poles underneath the pier her father is standing at, begins to move. When the poles finally break, Tina's father drown deep into the water. Now all grown up with that guilt still clinging to her, it's not too early to reveal that Tina have telekinetic powers. Tina and her mother on their way to meet the slimy Dr. Cruise, who only wants Tina to showcase her telekinetic powers for his own benefit. Meanwhile, a couple of dumb teens are there: You have the hunky, sensitive Nick, who turns out to be our hero, Melissa, the rich bitch, The cute nerd Eddie, there's also the smart but funny Maddie, and what ever teen slasher stereotypical characters that you see. So one night while sitting on the pier of that fatal memory, Tina uses her powers to resurrected her father. But something dosen't seem right. Tina brings back something else....something else bad......You know who it is folks. And off Jason goes to kill a whole batch of teens, including that asshole Dr. Cruise.
What makes it so great is the story with a great pace to go with it. The action of it all just keeps the movie going. The character of Tina is quite captivating, I mean having a final girl with telekinesis with emotinal baggage on the side is pretty daring. The actress Lars Park Lincoln did a strong performance. She captures the vunerability and intensity of the Tina character. Kevin Blair was also pretty great in his role. He's really good at playing the knight in shining armor and possibly one of the only sympatheic male leads in these movies. Not to mention how very enticing he is. There is nothing sexier than man going head to head with Jason Vorhees.
The scenes with Jason and my favorite final girl is classic. Tina even more badass than the final in the fourth movie because of course she has kick-ass pyschic powers that could take down a whole building. The final battle was indeed well done.
My last word is: A slasher classic with a good story and competent leading stars.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Hunk Of The Day: 80's edition

I am posting yet another 80's hunk for the day. And I will so kindly present to you.......
Jason Beghe from Monkey Shines. As you can see is looking dead sexy in that sweater. But just wait until you see him with his clothes off that'll be a real treat.....
Here is another sexy collage of this tempting hunk.....

A-mazing......wait there's more......
Talk about Bear! There is nothing more manly than a guy with a hairy chest with a great bod to go with that. this is truly my hunk of the 80's(Billy, don't worry you're still my number one). So take cover everybody before you swoon.

80's horror film reviews: Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

Yet another entry in the Nightmare Series. At first I was a little in between with this one. It definitely has a different tone than the first three films. It's more.....how can I say this.....cartoony? Not that I'm saying it's bad but some of the scenes puts the capital C into cheese. This definally has a more lighter not if comic book feel into the movie series and it got only worse with the rest(Dream child and Freddy's dead). But what I like about this is it's actually fun to watch. It's not scary but fun to watch though.
The story starts off with the three remaining survivors of the thrid film, Kristen, Joey and Kincad. When Kristen(played by the underused Tuesday Knight) is having the feeling that freddy is coming back to raise hell once again. When he finally succeds in killing the dream warriors including Kristen, Freddy sets his sights on Alice(Lisa Wilcox) who inherits Kristen's power after she's killed. Freddy not only has his eyes on Alice but her friends as well and it's up to her to stop him.
This mostly tells the story of Alice's inner strength and much more lengthy character development from shy, quiet girl to kick-ass action girl at the film's end. The acting of Lisa Wilcox is a little shaky at first but overall gives her character more competence. The acting of Tuesday Knight, however, is only ok. She seems to get strong in her role but ultimately falls flat a little at the end. For the rest, some were good, some were ok and some were underused. That is all.
The special effects are quite colorful, especially for a horror film. I felt like I was watching some afternoon kid's show but it doesn't really ruin the film as much, there quite good actually. Just to mention though, the kills are strangely bloodless for some reason. To the point where this were more appealing to kids around age 9 to 12 if they wanted to watch this.
Of course, this was the start of Freddy becoming something of a comedian of sorts. Which in my opinion, is not so good. Freddy is supposed to be dark and scary not happy and funny. Whatever writer or creator came up with this idea was pretty stupid if you asked me. The script was actually a lot more darker, even having a scary scene written there. But the executives made a one last decison and had a not-so scary horror film.
So my last word is: Fun to watch but lacks the spark that was the original

80's horror film reviews: Friday the 13th: Jason Lives

This is actually the most enjoyable movie of the series. The main fact is dosen't take itself seriously because...let's face it, it's a slasher film. So they bring up a notch and add more action, more body count and a little spice of horror references on the side. And you know I'm a huge friday the 13th fan.
So the story begins with Tommy(the yummy Thom Matthews) trying to put his demons to rest once and for all by going over to Jason's grave to burn him into dust. So along with the help of his friend, he tries to get the deed done, not until lighting strikes down on his bad luck(literally) and into Jason's corpse, reviving him, resulting him to rip Tommy's accomplice's heart when he wakes up.(gosh, Jason, what a way to say good morning). Tommy in a state of panic tries to warn the sheriff and his daughter that jason is out for blood just as he heads to a camp that was once called crystal lake.
The acting is actually good. Thom Matthews really gives a redeeming performance as Tommy, not to mention he's very easy on the eyes, Cute to boot. As for the final girl, she's something of a dim-wit. But of course that's supposed to be the film's gag since most of the final girls in these movies are smart and resourceful. Megan, not so much. Up until the end that is. As for the rest of the actors and characters, they're ok. There's not much to tell about them actually.
I'm so glad this movie dosen't use any nakedness as you might expect. Cause if all the friday movies used any of that, it would be down the road to exploitation. Just my opinon. But for one thing, they're not so easy on the kills let me tell you that. It is much more gorier and graphic than some of the earlier films in the series. Even though it's just another violent, bloody friday the 13th film, it's actually have a much lighter tone to it with a few touches of dark comedy in the mix. But what's smart about it is that they don't make it all over-the-top comedy just more subtle. The action in this is more jet-packed and pretty much more fun to watch with a more delicate pace. Definally a fun slasher treat.
So my last word is: A fun entertaining ride.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

80's horror film reviews: Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

Boy howdy. This movie was a hoot. It will be forever known as the gayest horror movie ever. This obviously sends out the message of gay panic in teens of the 80's, having a freddy as some kind of metaphor. The people who made this film had no idea how this was gonna turn out. Yeah, right.
The story is about Jesse, a boy who just moved into Nancy's house from the previous film. He keeps on having this weird that involves you-know-who and notices strange things about the house, all while he tries to deal with his apparent homosexuality that freddy manipulates with, even including killing the object of his affections(his coach and his best friend/potential lover). You know I'm joking on the homosexuality part. Just trying to make the story interesting. Oh and did I mention he has a big-nosed, annoying girlfriend that turns out to be our final girl. ugh.
The acting is pretty decent and the character of Jesse does seem sympatheic. I mean if you are a gay teen trying to come to terms with your sexuality while dealing a whiny girlfriend and having a secret crush on your male friend, you can't help but symapathize right?
If this wasn't a horror movie with no girls in what so ever, this would likely turn out to be an 80's gay porno. I'm mean you have an S&M bar, hot sweaty twink and stud types, sexually-agressive gym coach, etc. I could go on all day. The irony of this is that the lead actor is actually gay. This movie is definally a classic in my eyes.
So my last word is: A very interesting entry if you look at it in a different way.

Hunk Of The Day: 80's edition

Now here is an 80's edition for our Hunk Of The Day and surprise, surprise, our 80's Hunk Of The Day is......
Billy from Silent Night, Deadly Night. God, look at that gorgeous face. Wait there's more....

  This next picture would really make your skin sweat.....

Just pretend you're the girl being ravished by him, expect for the stabbing part(so unromantic). Just wait until you see him in his santa suit. Can anyone say fetish!


He is just too hot to be a serial killer......*sigh*

80's horror film reviews: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

You all know that i'm a huge friday the 13th fan and although i think of this as a teen sex comedy and horror film rolled into one, this has got to be one of the more fun addtion of the series. I don't know how many times i wacthed this when I was 11 or 12, about 50 I guess. You may think it's a stupid slasher with your average, idiotic teens going on a camp only to be killed brutally but it's one of the most entertaining movie of the bunch.
So the story is about siblings Trish and Tommy Jarvis vacationing with their mother all the while a group of dumb, rowdy teens is staying next door. So Jason comes along....and you know what happens.
What makes this movie so memorable is that it stars young Corey Feldman and a fresh-faced Crispin Glover before their big roles in The Goonies and Back To The Future, respectfully. Not only that but the bone-chilling death scenes that make this series so great. The story is simple which is the reason why I kept it short but what do you expect in the friday the 13th movies.
The acting is meh.....but I have to say that Kimberly Beck makes a bad-ass final girl. Her character goes through so much to outrun Jason even going so far as to crashing through a window and still going strong when Jason is at the back of her heel while holding her machette, telling him to bring it on. If that's not bad-ass I don't know what it is. As for Corey Feldman, he didn't do much until the final act. Seeing that bug-eyed look in his eye, he could play crazy really good.
I pretty much outgrown these movies a bit but it does give me good memories. I remember how fun it was when I catch a friday the 13th marathon on TV and watch it up until midnight. My most favorite one above this, hands down, is Friday the 13th: New blood that I will review later.
So my last word is: A bloody, cheesy funfest

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

80's horror film reviews: Happy Birthday To Me

This was one of the more smarter and much more classer slasher film of the decade. The plot is engaging and the teens are not just you're annoying bunch of jerks you see in these movies, although there are some. But this is actually a cult favorite of mine. I like how underrated it is and keeps people guessing(I'll tell you the spoiler later.)
The story is about Virgina "Ginny" Wainwright who is one of the top 10 best students at some snobby private school. Most of these kids are known for their pranks because hey, they're smart and rich and can get away with stuff. Let me back track here, I know I said that these kids are not like the brainless, sex-obsessed idiots like in most slasher films but pretty much act that way at times and making stupid decisions along the way. So there are days before Ginny's  birthday and she has terrible memories of it. It is revealed also to be the anniversay of her mother's death. It all started when Mrs. Wainright was pissed that Ginny's Top 10 friends didn't come over for her birthday because she was the one who gave out the invatations. Drunk and unstable, She goes over to the house where Ann Thomerson, one of Ginny's best friends, is having her party. After an arguement with the groundskeeper, she takes off in the dead of night resulting in a terrible car accident where Ginny survives mariculously after having tramatic brain surgery. This still affects her as she still have severe headaches from that. When one of their fellow top 10 elites goes missing, most of the kids are concerned but forget it quickly but unbeknowst to them, a killer is planning to picked them off one by one just in time for Ginny's 18th birthday.
What I like about this so much is that it has an amazing twist. You think Ginny was the killer halfway through the movie but it turns out that she was the final girl all along. I mean that's pretty original for a slasher in the 80's. The killer turns out to be her best friend, Ann who is revealed to be her half-sister. It's kind of soap-opready but pretty good twist overall. The kills are pretty inventive as you can see the infamous shish kebab scene(the picture above) and the weight-lifting scene is classic as well as the others.
The acting is pretty good but the most captivating performance is given to Mary Sue Anderson. She's really great at playing the icy-eyed serial killer and scared innocent victim.
For a slasher movie this has a lot of story put into it, which gives a good pace and makes the plot engaging. We don't know if it's a who-done-it scenario until the final act which is pretty smart if ask me.
One of the more better slasher movies. I would pick this over my bloody valentine anyday. Sorry, that's just my opinion.
So my last word is: Give it a watch. You might like it.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

80's horror film reviews: Terror Train

Another Jamie Lee Curtis gem. I just recently watched this some months ago and I have to say it's pretty above average than most slasher movies that year. Mainly because it has great suspense scenes and it has a distinct story even though it's been done to death. So let's get to the story shall we.
The story is about a group of medical students decides to throw a prank on poor, socially-inept Kenny. So they tag along Alana(Jamie Lee Curtis) into their sadistic prank. She thinks it totally harmless but not until Kenny end up kissing a corspe and goes completely bonkers which Alana has some overwhelming guilt about years later except the others seem to have forgotten about that nasty prank. But Kenny haven't forgotten about them though. and he'll sure make them rememeber. So there you have it a simple slasher story set-up.
The acting I would say was fairly decent. Jamie Lee, once again, shows her shine as the exquisite final girl. Hart Boncher was also good playing the asshole Doc(unfortunate name). And I will have to say he is one smoking hunk and he still looks gorgeous til this day. The rest of the actors were....ok. It always seem that Jamie Lee Curtis steal their shine in these movies but oh well at least David Copperfield is in this movie.
The suspense scenes were generally good. In some of these movies(especially the 80's ones), the suspense scenes get tired and boring but this really has a good pace to it. The kills were ok. I wasn't expecting a bloodfest but at least it was creative in a way.
It's sort of above-average than most of the movies from this decade but it has a good pace, it has decent acting, and it has a creepy killer. I still can't get over the fact that these people supposed to be medical students even though they can't take shit seriously. How will they ever have a furture in medicene if they act like total idiots. Just my opinion. So there you have it. One of the more better slasher movies of the 80's.
My last word: Give it a watch or two.

80's horror film reviews: Prom Night

I would have to say that this is a pretty memorable film. Memorable to the point that it gets remade some years later. This isn't really a classic in my eyes but safe to say I did watch this when i was 11 years when it came on SCIFI and USA for some consectutive times. This was the time where I used to be really into slashers and I can watch any old thing with the same formula. The reddeming factor of this movie is and will only be Jamie Lee Curtis, as this was the hayday of your career staring in another slasher film, Terror Train the same year. Okay let's get to the point.
The story starts out as your regular revenge flick: When a little girl falls out of the window in a fatal accident, her brother decides to get vengance on the kids responsible years later by picking them off one by one during their special time of the year.....prom night of course. All the while his other sister hopes to win prom queen.
I know that was short and I know I spoiled it a bit too earlier for you. But I know most of you seen this movie a thousand times already so it's no big deal to me.
So the story.....the story I've heard so many times. In so many slasher films. Yes, I did watch this movie and I was pretty into it. Wendy's death scene was definitely suspenseful, even though it took forever for this killer to get to her. The problem was it had something of a slow pace to it. Yeah, it had a bit of teen drama here and there but it really wasn't getting to the point at times. My MAJOR problem was.....I didn't see shit! Well, the first few times I watched it. It had such poor quality, I didn't know what the hell was going on. Thankfully, I saw a much restored version of this where I could clear out things perfectly. Besides that let's get to the acting.
The acting is....meh. But what do you expect from these movies. Especially from the 80's. Although, Jamie Lee Curtis didn't do much but dance her ass off, She still had that radiance about her that makes her a prominent actress. There's not much to say about the rest of the actors other than the male leads are hot(yes, I think the killer is cute).
Well, the kills....I think the kills are ok. Like I said, I didn't see what the hell was going on. So not much to say here.
There's one thing Ip like to point out though, what's the deal with Jamie Lee Curtis having brothers as killers. Of course this was before Halloween 2, but it's pretty obvious.
So there you have it. There wasn't really much to say about this. It's just average. Yeah, you might enjoy it. But it's not like you're gonna watch it again and again and again. Maybe if you catch on cable, now that would be a good treat.
Last word: It's okay it's average. That is all.


Monday, June 6, 2011

80's horror film reviews

I hate to do this....But for all you hardcore 80's horror fans, I will be reviewing the classic horror movies from that chessy but memorable decade. To be honest with you, I'm a 90's kid. As you can see I was born from the 90's. But one of my friends happened to be born from the 80's. So of honor of him, I will so gladly give these honorary mentions. So I will proceed.....

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Misunderstood Women: Lindsay Lohan

Poor, Poor Lindsay Lohan. So much has happen to her. DUI, drug binges, exsessvie partying, etc. She maybe the laughing stock of hollywood but I think it's a cry for help. I was actually a big fan of hers. Especially when Mean Girls came out, which is one of her best performances so far. That was the time where she broke out of her disney phase and into more mature films.
Mean Girls and Prairie Home Companion may have paved the way for her into a more respective actress, but it was her personal demons that got in the way. I have to be honest, her follow-up film Herbie: Fully loaded was kind of mediocre. And then there was the infamous Gerogia Rule, where behind the scenes, she was called out for her reckless behavior. In public no less. With terrible films like Just My Luck and I Know Who Killed Me got her further to the deep end. But what I'm saying is, it will get better for her.
You may think she's a egotistical, self-destrctive bitch, but she's clearly a broken person inside. Responsibilty seems to be her enemy but she really need to use it to get her life straight and mostly her career straight. There's going to be trouble along the way. Hey, people make mistakes. Though, learning from her mistakes would be a step up. For those of you who think she's a washed-up actress with less than stellar acting abilities, she IS actually a good actress. She just need to read more better scripts and make better choices in dropping out of films, ie., The Hangover.
People can pretty much blame her parents for her behavior, especially her psychotic father. This is to you Micheal Lohan:  LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE! she has enough problems already. She's an adult, she can make her own mistakes! Do you hear me clearly? Thank you.
If her parents can't help her, maybe a psychiatrist will. I'm not calling her insane. She just need that balance in her life to pull her through.
When I first noticed Lindsay,  I sit there and thought, She's not gonna end up like those has-been child stars. Now, she's pretty much heading down that road. Yeah, she's doing films here and there, however it's not giving her the comback she needs.
Hopefully, when she gets done with all this legal stuff and stop making stupid decisions, she will be the hollywood heavy-weight she deserves to be....but who knows, hollywood will leave you hanging by the drop of a hat. In more way than one, lindsay got a long way coming for her.....