Saturday, May 7, 2011

Friday The 13th(2009)

This has got to be one of the worst remakes ever. The story was muddled, the characters were annoying, the kills were tepid, and the climax could've been better than expected. I actually sat through this peice of crap in a movie theater.
You should all know the story of course: Stupid 20-somethings go off to the wilderness, only to be killed by Jason Voorhees one by one.
Ok, let me start over since there are two stories at hand here: Annoying 20-somethings go off into the middle-of-nowhere wilderness to find some marijuana. Now knowing anybody would got to such dumbass lengths to go find some weed is anybody's guess. This is, however, unbeknowst to the two girls out of the three guys in the group. Of course, what's also unbeknowst to this group is that potato sack-wearing Jason is lurking out there somewhere. So Jason pops up and does some of the best, brutal kills in the movie. But that's the only thing that was ever interesting. The kills begin to waver a bit as the movie continues. So it's weeks later, where we have another batch of annoying college students going to some cheap lodge, one of the asshole frat boy owns. They run into Jared Padalecki(the hunk from supernatural), who is looking for sister, who was one of the group of 20-something that was attacked jason in the opening scene. Only one of the college students is sympatheic and nice enough to help Jared. So Jason gets his iconic hockey mask, stalks and kills the college students. Blah, Blah, Blah, Fucking Blah. Let's just move along shall we?
Ugh, I hated this movie. Okay, let's get to the story. It should've been better than it actually was. Instead of wasting 15 minutes of killing off stupid teens, they should've focused more on Jason's backstory. And Could have shown how Jason and his mother really loved each other and how history suddenly unravels til then.
Ok, just to get this out of the way they should've used this version of the story:
The final girl(played by Amanda Righetti) is a college student aspiring to be an investigative journalist. She is not really friends with her boyfriend's (the guy from the opening scene) friends, who she thinks are dumb, irresponsible party kids who don't know how to take things seriously. She dreads having to go with them to her boyfriend's former family retreat that used to be a summer camp. She bumps into Jared Padalecki at the gas station, saying that he's looking for his missing sister. So, she tags along despite the pleas of her worried boyfriend. The final girl and Jared padalecki learns of Jason's backstory, all the while Jason is busy picking off the stupid college kids.
Now what do you think of that? But i have to go along with what Platinum Dunes got, so whatever.  What they should've done was choose better writers. I mean what the hell is this? Some teen sex comedy? Speaking of which the sex scenes were just too raunchy for my taste. I know most you like your t and a in slashers for some odd reason, but come on, I think it was just some unnecessary attempt at making the movie more entertaining. Also putting much emphasis on the comedy. To be quite honest with you, this remake should have been taken seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're gonna say. Friday the 13th taken seriously, no way. But it's a remake, people! It's like the executives were throwing their money away over this garbage. If you're gonna remake a slasher classic, do it with grace and style. and further more TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. Oh boy, let's get to the acting. Maybe it was the stupid dialouge that overshadowed the actors. But I'm just speaking for the supporting cast. Let's focus on the leads shall we. I liked Amanda Righetti(the actual final girl) I think she has really good acting chops. It's just her character was so underused that we couldn't see how talented she really is. I thought Jared Padalecki was good too. Too bad his talent was wasted on this travesty. Danielle Panabaker was good also as nice girl Jenna. She was actually one of the most sympatheic characters that was killed. The rest of the cast are just cardboard cutouts with no distinct personality to them. they were only to be there to act like idiots and be killed soon after.
The kills could've been interesting and much more burtal as the one in the opening scene. This is friday the 13th again, people. At least make the kills interesting than the plot and the characters. One more mention, yes: Jason is faster, yes: Jason is stronger, yes: Jason is smarter. But don't make him into one of those torture porn wannabes, that's just a waste of our time. That's all I could say. Now, they kept the creepy, shadowy atmosphere the friday the 13th movies are known for. I would give them points for that but that's just it and nothing else.
So there you have it. A classic horror film ruined by executive meddling at platinum dunes. I am a huge friday the 13th fan and I'm deeply disappointed of how this turned out.
My last word guys, do me a favor and don't waste your time on this abomonation. Cause I sure have. I mean it won't kill you to give a watch. just don't watch the second time. or third time. or the fourth time.

No comments: